Where on Earth

Where on Earth

  or

  A Bucket List Before Kicking the Bucket

  By Gary E Miller

  rev 1

  For Donna

  Copyright Gary E. Miller, 2014

  Cover design by Lenny Everson

  ****

  HAY-ON-WYE

  Hay-on Wye, a unique town in Wales;

  Many bookstores provide its avails.

  It causes broad smiles

  On bibliophiles,

  Drawn there by its fantastic sales.

  THE HELLESPONT

  Lord Byron, the poet – sex symbol,

  Despite a club foot was quite nimble

  He swam the Hellespont

  And, as was my wont,

  I’ll cross – on a ship with glass brim-full.

  THE NORTH POLE

  I wonder if the far North Pole

  Is simply a flag in a hole

  Or a cairn or a stele?

  Whatever, I feel

  That seeing it’s not my first goal.

  THE SOUTH POLE

  I'm told that the South Pole is colder,

  So I would have to be much bolder

  To want to explore it;

  For now I'll ignore it

  And give both the Poles a cold shoulder.

  NEW ORLEANS.-MARDI GRAS

  New Orleans holds the Mardi Gras

  With excessive doses of hoopla:

  Marching bands, costumes, floats,

  All Lent's antidotes,

  And the biggest crowds you ever saw.

  RIO DE JANEIRO

  In Rio, in sunny Brazil,

  There's a statue set high on a hill:

  It's gigantic and He's

  The Christ of the Andes

  And it gives lucky tourists a thrill.

  TIMBUCTOO

  Is there anyone anywhere who

  Would not gladly go to Timbuctoo?

  The great fascination

  Of this destination

  Is where is it? I have no clue.

  KATMANDU

  My reason for going there? That's

  Not its freedom from techie mall rats,

  Nor its rare atmosphere

  Nor its distance from here-–

  It's simply that I'm fond of cats.

  MOUNT ETNA

  I'd like to see Sicily's wonder,

  Mount Etna, with its mighty thunder,

  But along with these crashes

  It spews tons of ashes

  Which I would not like to be under.

  AYRES ROCK

  In Australia the tourists all flock

  To see the world-famous Ayres Rock.

  To the natives it's holy

  But to others it's solely

  A place whose great beauty can shock.

  VENICE

  Art treasures fill it to the brim;

  Connoisseurs view them seriatim;

  But travelling's a menace

  In historic old Venice

  On streets where you don't walk, you swim.

  ROME

  I'd be willing to go far from home

  To see the art treasures of Rome;

  The Sistine's fine ceiling

  Leaves all lookers reeling;

  Michelangelo’s statues are awesome.

  THE PRADO

  Keats's "Beauty is truth" is a credo

  Demonstrated in Madrid's great Prado,

  Where truth and beauty mingle

  Giving viewer a tingle ––

  I'd go there without any ado.

  NIAGARA FALLS

  Viewed from the ground or a soaring tower

  The Falls roars with its watery power

  And sometimes I wonder

  If I could stand under

  What a wonderful place for a shower.

  LOCH NESS

  People praise in a resounding chorus

  The mystery Loch Ness provides for us.

  Is the monster we seek

  One completely unique

  Or just an old plesiosaurus?

  THE GREAT PYRAMID

  Its construction was an inspired notion;

  For millennia stirring emotion.

  In silence it stands

  On the vast desert sands,

  Like a beach but without any ocean.

  GRAND CANYON

  Everyone thinks Grand Canyon's just great

  With its river forever in spate.

  It's a treat for the ocular

  And it makes you feel jocular,

  But it took a long time to create.

  STRATFORD-UPON-AVON

  The town of Stratford-Upon-Avon

  Is the birthplace of literature's maven,

  Will Shakespeare, whose plays

  Still garner great praise,

  Even though he was bald and unshaven.

  THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA

  It's admired by historical purists

  And judged tops by historical jurists;

  Built to exclude all foreigners

  From the earth's four corners-–

  Unless they are very rich tourists.

  STONEHENGE

  On Salisbury plain stands Stonehenge

  The mystery's the ancients' revenge:

  By whom was it built?

  We guess Druid? Pict? Celt?

  Now what can we rhyme but lozenge?

  THE TAJ MAHAL

  I'd like to see the Taj Mahal,

  That magnificent memorial

  Emperor Shah Jahan

  Built so that all can

  See this his wifely love was eternal.

  MEXICO CITY

  It's a great ecological pity

  That big and old Mexico City

  Seems to have no solution

  To its terrible pollution,

  A fact I decry in this ditty.

  THE EIFFEL TOWER

  There's a structure I'm eager to see

  And it stands in the heart of Paree;

  With its impressive height

  It is always in sight.

  All agree it is awfully Eiffelly.

  WESTMINSTER ABBEY

  Chief among London's historic scenes

  Is the Abbey, where traffic careens;

  In the ancient metropolis

  It's a famous necropolis

  For writers, scientists, kings, and queens.

  THE PANAMA CANAL

  To pass through the Panama Canal

  Is a trip I think would be just swell:

  From Atlantic to Pacific-

  It would be terrific–

  And then the return trip as well.

  TORONTO'S CN TOWER

  Toronto boasts the CN Tower,

  Everything in the city is lower,

  The views leave folks agog

  (Except when there's smog)

  Or the height makes the timid to cower.

  LONDON'S EYE-IN-THE-SKY

  A slow ride on the Eye-in-the-sky

  Would be perfect for one such as I:

  To see historic sites

  From the various heights

  Would give new meaning to the word high.

  THE FRENCH RIVIERA

  I'd like to see the Riviera

  And I'd try very hard not to stare-a

  At the shapely young women

  Sunbathing or swimmin'

  Either topless or totally bare-a.

  HAWAII

  It would cost me a whole lot of moolah

  To fly to Hawaii, but who'll a–

  scribe one fault to me

  When I'd get to see

  Grass-skirted females dance the hula?

  ZOOS

  I would like to see all the world's zoos

  With their lions, chimps, and kangaro
os,

  Polar bears, crocodiles,

  Elephants and reptiles-–

  And then the best one I could choose.

  DELHI

  I'd like to see India's Delhi,

  Though I might be a tense, nervous Nellie

  As, jostled, I damned

  The streets people-crammed.,

  And its food which can upset the belly.

  PAMPLONA

  Towards Pamplona I feel a strong pull:

  To be chased by el toro's not dull,

  But my greatest delight

  As I watched each bull-fight

  Would be to lead cheers for the bull.

  OTTAWA

  Every citizen should visit Ottawa

  So that he can say: "Oh, my, what a blah

  City old Bytown is

  With its government bus-

  iness carried out with a lotta flaws.

  FLORIDA

  Florida's beaches each year in March break:

  Where coeds come to drink and to bake,

  Each in a bikini

  Attractively teeny,

  Making everything quiver and shake.

  DEATH VALLEY

  I'd be very reluctant to sally

  Into that dry, dead place called Death Valley:

  Cacti, buzzards, and snakes

  And infernal heat makes

  It a spot to avoid, naturally.

  BIKINI ATOLL

  I'm not sure that I m eager to stroll

  Around famous Bikini Atoll:

  It's not very attractive

  To be radio-active

  And mutated to monster or troll.

  TAHITI

  I'd like to sail off to Tahiti

  And there meet a pretty young sweetie;

  As palm-tree-trunk art:

  Our names in a heart,

  Genuine Polynesian graffiti.

  NORWAY

  I can see myself in a fjord

  On a dragon-ship, wielding a sword,

  But I can't be a hero

  When it's well below zero

  And a tee-shirt's all I can afford.

  BEIJING

  See Beijing;? Well, I'm glad that you ask.

  I want to see folks face the task

  Of clearing the air

  So that no one must wear..

  A cumbersome, stifling face mask.

  ICELAND

  I wonder if I would like Iceland.

  Is it dreary and cold or a nice land?

  With its snow and its ice

  Would one trip suffice

  Or is it a must-visit-twice land?

  NEW ZEALAND

  New Zealand: a country where sheep'll

  Likely always outnumber the people;

  Wool and mutton, you see,

  Fuel the economy

  And keep the land's coffers plenty full.

  NOME, ALASKA

  I'd like to see Alaska's Nome,

  Though I wouldn't want to call it home;

  Polar bears and dog teams

  Are the stuff of my dreams

  And inspired this brief limerick poem.

  MACCHU PICCHU

  Macchu Picchu, please, let me announce it-–

  A special site as history counts it-–

  Is a treasure that's rare

  And I want to go there,

  But first I must learn to pronounce it.

  AUSTRALIA

  Australia's a place that I wanna

  Explore for its exotic fauna:

  Koala, kangaroo,

  Platypus, dingo too-–

  It could fill the whole zoo in Trawna.

  TOKYO--THE GINZA

  Tokyo's Ginza may be quite tacky;

  If so, you'll think I am quite wacky,

  But I'd eagerly walk

  Along many a block

  To find some real Japanese saki.

  SARGASSO SEA

  What a strange sight it surely must be,

  That phenomenal Sargasso Sea.

  If it coats the Atlantic

  Will sailors be frantic

  Or just trim it like thick shrubbery?

  ST. PETER'S--ROME

  St. Peter's, the great church in Rome,

  With its Vatican Square and huge dome,

  With each day that passes

  Draws believers in masses

  And provides each new pope with a home.

  VICTORIA FALLS

  It is certainly no exaggera-

  tion to say that our Falls, Niagara,

  Is impressive but palls

  Next to Victoria Falls,

  Which is Canada's Falls on Viagra.

  THE AMAZON RIVER

  The long, winding Amazon River

  Has creatures to make travellers shiver:

  Crocodiles and big snakes

  Give each viewer the shakes

  And scare him right down to his liver.

  MARS

  I’m not sure that I would like Mars

  As it wanders about in the stars.

  It's a long way to go

  For a place that has no

  Air or water or smart disco bars.

  CAMINO REAL

  I'd like to walk a lengthy spell

  On Spain's old Camino Real.

  If I ambled the whole,

  It would lighten my soul,

  And be good for my waistline as well.

  HOWLAND ISLAND

  Howland Island is only a dot

  In the endless Pacific, a spot

  Which, if I got there,

  Id have reached somewhere

  Poor Amelia Earhart did not.

  MOUNT EVEREST

  I'd love to scale Mount Everest

  And do so with a youthful zest,

  But cold and great heights

  Cause me terrible frights.

  So to stay at sea level is best.

  WALLA WALLA

  Walla Walla is probably nice:

  Lovely scenery, an absence of vice;

  But there is one small trouble:

  Because its name s double,

  Perhaps I should visit it twice?

  ***