Forgive Me, I Meant to Do It: False Apology Poems, Page 2
Gail Carson Levine
you
off the wall
which
you had precariously
perched on
for centuries
Forgive me
all the king’s horses
and all the king’s men
were bored
This Is Just to Say
By feeling inside
your right snow boot
I located
your diary
which
you moronically
left
where anyone could find it
Forgive me
a year’s allowance
and your college fund
will buy my silence
This Is Just to Say
The principal
may mention
my science project
in a phone call
which
could conceivably
threaten expulsion
and marks on my permanent record
Forgive me
I proved my hypothesis
blood is thicker
than water
This Is Just to Say
I gagged
your little brother
and tied him up
at school
after
you clearly
said what a brat
he is
Forgive me
I can’t remember
which locker
I stuffed him in
This Is Just to Say
I have torn
down
the water
spout
which
you obsessively
wanted to climb up
and slide off forever
Forgive me
kick your habit
spin a web
catch a bug
This Is Just to Say
From one cup of organic tomatoes
one tarantula
and two tablespoons of ants
I cooked a stew
which
you gluttonously
devoured
then licked the bowl
Forgive me
you are
what
you eat
This Is Just to Say
I pushed
your boat
out of the gentle
stream
where
you were merrily
singing
and rowing
Forgive me
life
is but
a nightmare
This Is Just to Say
I already knew
the pea
was under
the mattresses
which
helped immeasurably
in faking
the true princess test
Forgive me
I am a true
evil
enchantress
This Is Just to Say
The moment
it fell off
I snatched
the glass slipper
which
would gloriously
have led you
to Cinderella
Forgive me
I am one-legged
was shoeless
size 3½
This Is Just to Say
I have found
seventeen
cavities
in your teeth
which
you sincerely
wish
were not there
Forgive me
my drill is ready
and I
am in a bad mood
This Is Just to Say
You have reached
the last
of these poems
although
you likely
preferred strep throat
to reading them
Forgive me
I wrote
every one
especially for you
About the Author and Illustrator
Gail Carson Levine thinks she can write poetry. Forgive her; the doctors say she’ll be sane again soon. She was born in New York City and shares a birthday with William Carlos Williams. Her first book for children, ELLA ENCHANTED, won a Newbery Honor. Gail’s other books include A TALE OF TWO CASTLES; the New York Times bestsellers EVER and FAIREST; DAVE AT NIGHT, an ALA Notable Book and Best Book for Young Adults; THE WISH; THE TWO PRINCESSES OF BAMARRE; and the six Princess Tales books. She is also the author of the nonfiction book WRITING MAGIC: Creating Stories That Fly and the picture books BETSY WHO CRIED WOLF and BETSY RED HOODIE, both illustrated by Scott Nash. Gail and her husband, David, live in the Hudson Valley of New York State. You can visit her online at www.gailcarsonlevine.com.
Matthew Cordell spilled a whole bottle of ink while drawing this book. Forgive him, white carpet is painfully boring. Matthew lives in the suburbs of Chicago with his wife, writer Julie Halpern, and their daughter, Romy. He is the author and illustrator of TROUBLE GUM and the illustrator of TOOT TOOT ZOOM!, MIGHTY CASEY, RIGHTY AND LEFTY, and TOBY AND THE SNOWFLAKES, which was written by his wife. You can visit him online at www.matthewcordell.com.
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Also by Gail Carson Levine
Dave at Night
Ella Enchanted
Ever
Fairest
A Tale of Two Castles
The Two Princesses of Bamarre
The Wish
THE PRINCESS TALES
The Fairy’s Return and Other Princess Tales (Collection)
The Fairy’s Mistake
The Princess Test
Princess Sonora and the Long Sleep
Cinderellis and the Glass Hill
For Biddle’s Sake
The Fairy’s Return
Betsy Red Hoodie
Betsy Who Cried Wolf
Writing Magic: Creating Stories That Fly
Back Ad
Credits
Cover art © 2012 by Matthew Cordell
Cover design by Martha Rago
Copyright
“This Is Just to Say” by William Carlos Williams, from The Collected Poems:
Volume I, 1909–1939, copyright © 1938 by New Directions Publishing Corp.
Reprinted by permission of New Directions Publishing Corp.
Forgive Me, I Meant to Do It: False Apology Poems
Text copyright © 2012 by Gail Carson Levine
Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Matthew Cordell
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
www.harpercollinschildrens.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Levine, Gail Carson.
Forgive me, I meant to do it : false apology poems / by Gail Carson Levine ; illustrated by Matthew Cordell. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-06-178725-6 (trade bdg.)
ISBN 978-0-06-178726-3 (lib. bdg.)
EPUB Edition AUGUST 2013 ISBN 9780062253538
1. Children’s poetry, American. 2. Humorous poetry, American. I. Title.
PS3562.E8965T47 2012
2009023978
811’.54—dc22
CIP
AC
12 13 14 15 16 LP/RRDC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
FIRST EDITION
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