most of my life with all of you, my family, my friends, but there is always that vein of fear which draws me from accepting myself as I am.
And though you may not like it, it doesn't matter to me any more. Because in order to live a life unafraid, self-defined and dignified, I have to be open to myself.
Many of you know my past struggles and where I stand now, but I've just come to accept it for what it is, what I am. I am a homosexual being, and if you can't take me as I am, farewell.
It's time I put myself ahead of everyone and their expectations. Because I've finally realized.
I finally realized that my weakness would soon become my strength in this
I listened to the voice in my heart and walked a new path as one fell apart
I finally had enough of the shame so I went forth with a whole new name
I came to believe in my dreams instead of wishing on a dead stars gleam
Cause no one dream will ever come true if you don't accept you for you
No, only you can prove the world wrong if you prove to yourself you are strong
Cause no one dream will ever come true if you don't accept you for you
No, only you can prove the world wrong if you prove to yourself you are strong
The Man I Am Today
For all the hurt I caused you and the worry I infused
I apologize from my heart for the comfort I refused
For all the tears in your eyes and all the words unsaid
I apologize from my heart for ever wishing I were dead
For all the times I broke you and the tales I told untrue
I apologize from my heart and I’m glad my mom is you
Because you shaped me by your courage and you shaped me by your strength
Yeah, you shaped me by your smiles and you shaped me by your fears
Yeah, you shaped the man I am today
Because you shaped me from your heart and you shaped me from your soul
For all the days that I’d run and the privileges abused
I apologize from my heart for ever making you confused
For all the fights that we had and all the silent bends
I apologize from my heart for telling all my friends
For all the scars that I hid and the times I hated you
I apologize from my heart and I’m glad my dad is you
Because you shaped me by your courage and you shaped me by your strength
Yeah, you shaped me by your smiles and you shaped me by your fears
Yeah, you shaped the man I am today
Because you shaped me from your heart and you shaped me from your soul
Oh, you shaped me from your knowledge and you shaped me from your dreams
From the moment I was born to the first steps I walked forth
Oh, you shaped me from your knowledge and you shaped me from your dreams
Form this moment till my death you’ll shape me forevermore
Because you shaped me from your heart and you shaped me from your soul
Yeah, you shaped the man I am today
Love Me Not
Even if they love me not, I have to live for myself
Even if they broke me once, I will always wish them well
Even if they love me not, I won’t let the pain take me
Even if they broke me once, I won’t wish them misery
The world is hard enough without igniting new flames
Bashing on one another and even shouting out harsh names
Said to be the “land of the free” all I see is tragedy
Cos’ we’re all lost in the hate abreast pains company
Seeing each other and ourselves as different species
What will it take to realize we share the same individualities
We each hold hopes and dreams and try to find true love
But we’re so blinded by the struggles, the push and the shove
Take a second, take a breath, open your eyes and sing
Open your eyes and sing
Even if they love me not, I have to live for myself
Even if they broke me once, I will always wish them well
Even if they love me not, I won’t let the pain take me
Even if they broke me once, I won’t wish them misery
Loving yourself is all it takes, even accepting your flaws
To extinguish the flames of hate and unite some new laws
Some which don’t discriminate or divide us by our hearts
Ones to bring us closer and bring about a completely new start
Cos’ the only way to live is to stand hand in hand without hate
To demonstrate to the young that change is never too far, too late
That we hold hopes and dreams and believe in true love
And we’re so blinded by the struggles, the push and the shove
Take a second, take a breath, open their eyes and sing
Open their eyes and sing
Even if they love me not, I have to live for myself
Even if they broke me once, I will always wish them well
Even if they love me not, I won’t let the pain take me
Even if they broke me once, I won’t wish them misery
Memory of You
I can’t help but to look back to a time when you were here.
My heart is plagued by sadness. Yet, my thoughts remain sincere.
I can’t help but to embrace the tears from deep inside;
I’m glad for all the good times shared- my love will not subside.
I spend my days looking through each and every photograph.
Sometimes they make me wonder why the good times never last;
They draw me back to a place confined deep within my heart-
At times they make me want to run back to the very start.
I know you’ll be watching over me until we meet again
And I know that I must continue walking forth in this world
Because you were more than blood to me you were a great friend
And if I don’t share my memories of you they’ll remain untold
My Shine
I feel your eyes seeping through as you’re searching through my soul
I’ve felt the rage in your heart, shared the pain and let it go
You’re trying to break me down with the hate you hold inside
You’re blinded by their lies, so allow me to clear your mind
You’re the one that I live for, darling you’re my shine, no lie
You’re the reason I awaken to both clear and cloudy skies
You lift my spirits high even when you’re miles apart
You’re the reason I’ve changed, you vitalized my heart
Darling please don’t go, because you’re the one I need
It’s your voice, your smile, your laugh which drive me to succeed
You’re the guidance from my past which draws me to smile
To hold my head up and stand tall despite the endless trials
You’re my one dream come true, I long since dreamt as a child
The angel in disguise to keep my heart from running wild
You’re my hero and my flaw, but together we are strong
So if you leave me understand, my heart will sing no other song
I Wish I Didn’t Love You
This has been killing inside
I think I’ve lost my freaking mind
I can’t believe I feel this way
I wish these thoughts would fade away
This has haunted me since youth
And I still can’t face the truth
Why must my heart still scream
As my soul strains to dream
To be with you, just to hold you
Damn, I wish I didn’t love you
I wish I didn’t know you
But the fact is that I need you
It is immoral, it’s a sin
That’s what they’re always saying
Preaching so-called love
with hate
Teaching us God discriminates
We’re only human, that is true
But why must they be so cruel
Causing my heart to scream
As my soul strains to dream
Damn, I wish I didn’t love you
I wish I didn’t know you
But the fact is that I need you
Never Let You Down
It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow
But darling that’s okay cos it’s your hearts beat I follow
And though we may never be, I’ll never let you down
Darling close your eyes and see I’ll never let you down
No, I’ll never let you down…never let you down
Some days I look back to the time you caught my eye
Kool-aid smile on my face even as you passed me by
I was too shy to say a thing, even tried to write a note
But I seen you had a man and felt a strain on my throat
So my letters and my thoughts remained in a secret knot
Buried deep within my heart questioning why I never fought
Truth be told, I fought hard against my heart just to keep away
And now the same chorus echoes in my head to this very day
It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow
But darling that’s okay cos it’s your hearts beat I follow
And though we may never be, I’ll never let you down
Darling close your eyes and see I’ll never let you down
No, I’ll never let you down…never let you down
Time After Time (I Searched)
Night after night I dreamed it would soon fade
I dreamed of a dawn without sorrows cascade
Year after year I searched within and outside
Questioning the answers I knew I held inside
And time after time I drowned and I lost sight
Till you came in my life and shined a new light
Now the days don’t seem quite as long as before
And the smiles I frame are as strong as my core
Cos you held me through the doubts and the fears
Through every void I faced once on my own
Cos you broke me from the hate and the tears
Through every sense of forever being alone
I searched for long, but it was you, searching for me
Oh, I searched for long and I can finally breathe
Day after day I walked forth without meaning
I walked forth living