Racketty-Packetty House, as Told by Queen Crosspatch, Page 4

Duke?" they all shouted.

  "Just you watch," he said, and he began to make the string into arope ladder--as fast as lightning. When he had finished it, hefastened one end of it to a beam and swung the other end out ofthe window.

  "From her window," he said, "she can see Racketty-Packetty Houseand I'll tell you something. She's always looking at it. Shewatches us as much as we watch her, and I have seen her gigglingand giggling when we were having fun. Yesterday when I chased LadyMeg and Lady Peg and Lady Kilmanskeg round and round the front ofthe house and turned summersaults every five steps, she laugheduntil she had to stuff her handkerchief into her mouth. When wejoined hands and danced and laughed until we fell in heaps Ithought she was going to have a kind of rosy-dimpled, lovely littlefit, she giggled so. If I run down the side of the house on thisrope ladder it will attract her attention and then I shall begin todo things."

  He ran down the ladder and that very minute they saw Lady Patsy ather window give a start and lean forward to look. They all crowdedround their window and chuckled and chuckled as they watched him.

  [Transcriber's Note: See picture chuckled.jpg]

  He turned three stately summersaults and stood on his feet and madea cheerful bow. The Racketty-Packettys saw Lady Patsy begin togiggle that minute. Then he took an antimacassar out of his pocketand fastened it round the edge of his torn trousers leg, as if itwere lace trimming and began to walk about like a Duke--with hisarms folded on his chest and his ragged old hat cocked on one sideover his ear. Then the Racketty-Packettys saw Lady Patsy begin tolaugh. Then Peter Piper stood on his head and kissed his hand andLady Patsy covered her face and rocked backwards and forwards inher chair laughing and laughing.

  Then he struck an attitude with his tattered leg put forwardgracefully and he pretended he had a guitar and he sang right up ather window.

  "From Racketty-Packetty House I come, It stands, dear Lady, in a slum, A low, low slum behind the door The stout arm-chair is placed before, (Just take a look at it, my Lady).

  "The house itself is a perfect sight, And everybody's dressed like a perfect fright, But no one cares a single jot And each one giggles over his lot, (And as for me, I'm in love with you).

  "I can't make up another verse, And if I did it would be worse, But I could stand and sing all day, If I could think of things to say, (But the fact is I just wanted to make you look at me)."

  And then he danced such a lively jig that his rags and tags flewabout him, and then he made another bow and kissed his hand againand ran up the ladder like a flash and jumped into the attic.

  After that Lady Patsy sat at her window all the time and would notlet the trained nurse put her to bed at all; and Lady Gwendolen andLady Muriel and Lady Doris could not understand it. Once LadyGwendolen said haughtily and disdainfully and scornfully andscathingly:

  "If you sit there so much, those low Racketty-Packetty House peoplewill think you are looking at them."

  "I am," said Lady Patsy, showing all her dimples at once. "They aresuch fun."

  And Lady Gwendolen swooned haughtily away, and the trained nursecould scarcely restore her.

  When the castle dolls drove out or walked in their garden, theinstant they caught sight of one of the Racketty-Packettys theyturned up their noses and sniffed aloud, and several times theDuchess said she would remove because the neighborhood wasabsolutely low. They all scorned the Racketty-Packettys--they just_scorned_ them.

  One moonlight night Lady Patsy was sitting at her window and sheheard a whistle in the garden. When she peeped out carefully, therestood Peter Piper waving his ragged cap at her, and he had his ropeladder under his arm.

  "Hello," he whispered as loud as he could. "Could you catch a bitof rope if I threw it up to you?"

  "Yes," she whispered back.

  "Then catch this," he whispered again and he threw up the end ofa string and she caught it the first throw. It was fastened to therope ladder.

  "Now pull," he said.

  She pulled and pulled until the rope ladder reached her window andthen she fastened that to a hook under the sill and the first thingthat happened--just like lightning--was that Peter Piper ran up theladder and leaned over her window ledge.

  "Will you marry me," he said. "I haven't anything to give you toeat and I am as ragged as a scarecrow, but will you?"

  [Transcriber's Note: See picture marry.jpg]

  She clapped her little hands.

  "I eat very little," she said. "And I would do without anything atall, if I could live in your funny old shabby house."

  "It is a ridiculous, tumbled-down old barn, isn't it?" he said."But every one of us is as nice as we can be. We are perfectTurkish Delights. It's laughing that does it. Would you like tocome down the ladder and see what a jolly, shabby old hole theplace is?"

  "Oh! do take me," said Lady Patsy.

  So he helped her down the ladder and took her under the armchairand into Racketty-Packetty House and Meg and Peg and Kilmanskegand Ridiklis and Gustibus all crowded round her and gave littlescreams of joy at the sight of her.

  They were afraid to kiss her at first, even though she was engagedto Peter Piper. She was so pretty and her frock had so much lace onit that they were afraid their old rags might spoil her. But shedid not care about her lace and flew at them and kissed and huggedthem every one.

  "I have so wanted to come here," she said. "It's so dull at theCastle I had to break my leg just to get a change. The Duchess sitsreading near the fire with her gold eye-glasses on her nose andLady Gwendolen plays haughtily on the harp and Lady Muriel coldlylistens to her, and Lady Doris is always laughing mockingly, andLord Hubert reads the newspaper with a high-bred air, and LordFrancis writes letters to noblemen of his acquaintance, and LordRupert glances over his love letters from ladies of title, in anaristocratic manner--until I could _scream_. Just to see you dearsdancing about in your rags and tags and laughing and inventinggames as if you didn't mind anything, is such a relief."

  [Transcriber's Note: See picture rupert.jpg]

  She nearly laughed her little curly head off when they all wentround the house with her, and Peter Piper showed her the holes inthe carpet and the stuffing coming out of the sofas, and thefeathers out of the beds, and the legs tumbling off the chairs. Shehad never seen anything like it before.

  "At the Castle, nothing is funny at all," she said. "And nothingever sticks out or hangs down or tumbles off. It is so plain andnew."

  "But I think we ought to tell her, Duke," Ridiklis said. "We mayhave our house burned over our heads any day." She really stoppedlaughing for a whole minute when she heard that, but she was ratherlike Peter Piper in disposition and she said almost immediately.

  "Oh! they'll never do it. They've forgotten you." And Peter Pipersaid:

  "Don't let's think of it. Let's all join hands and dance round andround and kick up our heels and laugh as hard as ever we can."

  And they did--and Lady Patsy laughed harder than any one else.After that she was always stealing away from Tidy Castle and comingin and having fun. Sometimes she stayed all night and slept withMeg and Peg and everybody invented new games and stories and theyreally never went to bed until daylight. But the Castle dolls grewmore and more scornful every day, and tossed their heads higher andhigher and sniffed louder and louder until it sounded as if theyall had influenza. They never lost an opportunity of sayingdisdainful things and once the Duchess wrote a letter to Cynthia,saying that she insisted on removing to a decent neighborhood. Shelaid the letter in her desk but the gentleman mouse came in thenight and carried it away. So Cynthia never saw it and I don'tbelieve she could have read it if she had seen it because theDuchess wrote very badly--even for a doll.

  And then what do you suppose happened? One morning Cynthia beganto play that all the Tidy Castle dolls had scarlet fever. She saidit had broken out in the night and she undressed them all and putthem into bed and gave them medicine. She could not find LadyPatsy, so _she_ escaped the contagio
n. The truth was that LadyPatsy had stayed all night at Racketty-Packetty House, where theywere giving an imitation Court Ball with Peter Piper in a tincrown, and shavings for supper--because they had nothing else, andin fact the gentleman mouse had brought the shavings from his nestas a present.

  [Transcriber's Note: See picture gentleman_mouse.jpg]

  Cynthia played nearly all day and the Duchess and Lady Gwendolenand Lady Muriel and Lady Doris and Lord Hubert and Lord Francis andLord Rupert got worse and worse.

  By evening they were all raging in delirium and Lord Francis andLady Gwendolen had strong mustard plasters on their chests. Andright in the middle of their agony Cynthia suddenly got up and wentaway and left them to their fate--just as if it didn't matter inthe least. Well in the