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    Perfect Worlds Omnibus

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      “Kari,there’ssomethingelse.Ihaveafriend—aboyfriend.”

      “Aboyfriend?But…butyouhatemen.”

      “Thatwasalongtimeago.”

      “Itwaslessthanayear!”

      “Wellit’sfeltlikeareallylongtime.Andanyway,I’mdifferentnow.I’m notthatlittletomboyanymore.ImeanbeforeIprobablycouldn’thaveevengot amanifIwantedone.”

      “Don’ttalklikethat.Youwerecute.”

      “Sure,toyou.Imeannooffense,butyouweren’texactlyacovermodel backtheneither.Imeanthoseglassesofyours.Comeon.”

      ThiswasthesecondtimetodayValhadcriticizedKari’sappearance.Had theirentirerelationshipbeenbasedonalie?OrwasitjustthatValhadbecome soshallowsincekissingTai’sring?“IguessIshouldfindsomewhereelseto spendthenightthen.”

      “Kari,don’tbethatway.Geez,wecanstillbefriends.Imeanlikebest friends.Andnowthatyou’resocute,I’msureyou’llfindaguytooandthenwe

      cangoondoubledatesandstuff.”

      “Idon’twanttofindaguyandgoondoubledates,”Karisaid.“Iwant you.”

      “WellI’msorry,butthattime’sovernow.”

      “Why?”

      Valsighedandthenshookherhead.“Areyoustupidorsomething?If anyonefindsout,wecouldendupinprison!Imeanthat’sasbadasendingup hookingonthestreets.”

      “Soyou’retooscaredtolovemeanymore?”

      “MaybeI’mtoobravetoletyouthrowyourlifeaway.Youthinkabout that?”

      “Val,please,thisiswhathewants.Hewantstodriveusapart.”

      “Ifhewantedthat,whydidhesendyoutotheclub?”

      “Soyoucouldconvincemetochange.”

      “WellI’mnotdoingagoodjobofitsofar.”Valsighedagain.“Weneedto getsomerest.Wegotworktomorrow.AtleastIdo.”Valgottoherfeet.She startedtowalkaway,butthenturnedaround.“Ifyouwantthebed—”

      “No.Icansleeponthecouch.”

      “Itfoldsoutintoabed.Maybelaterifyouwanttostickaroundwecanfind arealbedforyou.ImeanI’vegotanotherroombutit’sfullofboxesandstuff rightnow.”

      “I’llthinkaboutit.”

      “Andthinkaboutwhatkindoflifeyouwanttolivewhileyou’reatit.I meanjustbecausewearen’tacoupledoesn’tmeanIwanttoloseyouasa friend.”

      “Thanks.”

      AfterValhadgone,Karifiguredouthowtopulloutthebedfromthe couch.Whenthemattresspoppedout,shesawasurprisewaitingforher:her stuffedunicornSnowmane.ThiswasclearlyamessagefromTai.Nevertheless, shecrushedtheunicornagainstherchestasshefellasleep.

      Chapter12

      Bytheendoftheweek,Karireceivedherfifthblackmark.Shehad refusedtogobackonstage,despitethepleadingofVal,Krisee,andevenMiss Kilgore.Shewouldn’tgiveTaithesatisfactionofwhoringherselfinanyform; she’dkillherselfbeforethathappened.SinceValapparentlyhadsomeoneelse

      —amannoless—shedidn’tseewhereshehadmuchtolose.

      Withthefifthblackmark,herstomachpushedoutintoabeergut,her breastssaggedponderously,andherhipsspread.Inplaceofhernaughtyteacher outfitsheworeagrimyblueT-shirtandaskirtthatshowedthecelluliteonher thighs.Whenshelookedinthemirrorshesawherteethhadbecomeyellowand crooked.Herstiffbeehiveofhairhadturnedanunnaturallydarkred,thekindof redthatcamefromabottle.Eventhatcouldn’tcoverthegrayathertemples.

      Herlipswereslatheredinlipstickandhereyesinmascara,butthatcouldn’tdo anythingtomakeherwrinkledfacewithitssaggyjowlslookanyyounger.

      Oncethetransformationwascomplete,MissKilgoreslammedametaltray intoKari’schest.“Getyourassoutthereandstartworkingthefloor.”

      “Yes,ma’am,”Karicroaked,hervoicesoundingasifshe’dbeensmokinga cartonofcigarettesadayforthelastthirtyyears.

      Shequicklyfoundinsomewaysbeingawaitresswasworsethanbeinga dancer.Foronethingshegotgropedjustaboutasmuchasthedancersdid,and fortenhoursatatimeinsteadoffortenminutes.Thetipswerealotworsethan thoseofthedancers,usuallyaboutatenthofwhatValmadeforoneshow.Plus aftertenhours,Kari’sfeetachedandherbackfeltasifsomeonehadpoured concretealongherspine.

      “Howcanyoustandit?”Valaskedoneday.WhileKarihadgottenolder anduglier,Valhadonlygottenyounger,herbreastsevenbiggerandherwaist evennarrower.

      “AtleastIcankeepmyclotheson.”

      “That’sthatimportanttoyou?”

      “Ihaveathingfordignity,Iguess.”

      “Dignity?What’ssodignifiedaboutlookinglikethat?”

      “It’shonest.”

      “I’mhonesttoo.”

      “You’reafantasy,”Karigrowled.“You’reeverymale’swetdreamcometo life.”

      “So?YouthinkIshouldgetfiveblackmarkstobecomeahag?”

      “Youcandowhatyouwant,”Karigrumbled.“I’mgoingtobed.”Then

      shetoddledintotheguestroomtocollapseontotheusedmattressshe’d managedtobuywithherownmoney.ShehadrefusedtotakeVal’scharity,at leastforthebed.

      Shehadn’tquitedriftedoffwhenshefeltsomeoneshakeher.“Kari,wake up.There’ssomethingelseweneedtotalkabout.”

      “What?”Kariaskedwithoutopeninghereyes.

      “Myboyfriendiscomingtoseemeattheclubtomorrownight.”

      “So?”

      “SoIwantyoutomeethim.Iwashopingwecoulddoitwhenyoustill lookedcute,butIguessthiswillhavetodo.I’msurehe’llstilllikeyouevenif youareahagnow.”

      “Thanksforthevoteofconfidence.”

      “You’retheonewhodecidednottogoonstage.”

      “Isthatallyouwanted?”

      “Areyoumad?”

      “No.It’syourlife.”

      “Thanks.”ShekissedKarionthecheek,justabriefpeckasthoughKari wereanauntcometovisit.“Goodnight.”

      Karigrumbledsomethingunintelligibleandthenfellasleep,muchtootired toconsiderwhatValhadsaid.

      ***

      ThefirsthalfofKari’sdaywentlikealltheothers.Afewcustomersfelt herupwhenshesetdowntheirdrinksandthengaveheralousytip.Things wereslowenoughintheafternoonthatshecouldsitinthealleyoutback smokingforawhile.She’dneversmokedbefore,butsinceshealreadyhadthe teethandvoiceofasmoker,shesawnoreasonnotto.Andmaybeshecouldget cancerandendthisnightmare.

      Theafterworkcrowdwasalotbusier.Karipushedherwayfromthebarto thetablesandbackwhatseemedlikeathousandtimes.Eachtimethebartender plunkeddownglasseswithoutawordsoshecouldgoonanothersortie.There weretwootherwaitresses,bothofthemjustasbusyasKari.

      Assheworked,KaritriedtodeterminewhichofthemenmightbeVal’s mysteriousboyfriend.Shehadn’ttoldKarianythingpersonalabouthim,soshe supposeditcouldbemostanyone.Hewouldhavetobehandsome,though,in ordertolandsomeonelikeVal,atleastthisbeautiful,extremelyshallowVal.

      Shestillhadn’tidentifiedanyonewhenValcameonateighto’clock.Right awayKarisawtherewassomethingdifferent:ValwaswearingKrisee’s schoolgirlcostume.SheshiveredatthesightofValwithpigtailslikewhenthey hadbeenbabies.ExceptValwasdefinitelynotababy,notwiththosebreasts

      thatlookedevenbiggersincesheappearedshorter.Shewasprobablyasoldasa realschoolgirlbynow.WhenValcametotheendofthestage,Karisawshehad frecklesagain,thoughtheseoneswerepaintedon.

      Shehadjusttossedoffherblousewhensheletoutasqueal.Thensheran totheendofthecatwalkandactuallyleapedintothecrowd.Karidroppedthe trayshe’dbeendeli
    veringoutofshock.ShewasstilllookingforValwhenshe feltherbackstiffen.Aswellherstomachpushedout,liftingthehemofherTshirt.Sheheldupherrighthandtoseeanotherblackmark.

      Shedidn’thavetimetocontemplatethis,assheheardValshriek,“Ohmy gosh,youmadeit!Iknewyouwould!”

      KaripushedherwaythroughaknotofpeopletofindValsittingonTai Lecau’slap,herarmslockedaroundhisneckassheplantedkissafterkissonhis cheek.Beforesheknewwhatshewasdoing,KarihadgrabbedValbythearm andyankedheroffofTai’slap.Shedraggedherfriendthroughthecrowd,into thestoreroom.

      SheshovedValintoacornerwhileatthesametimeshelockedthedoor,not thatitcouldkeepTaiout.“That’syourboyfriend?Him?”

      “Iknewyouwouldreactthisway.That’swhyIdidn’ttellyou.”

      “HowelseamIsupposedtoreact?Thisisthemanwhoruinedourlives.

      He’stheonewhodidallthoseawfulthingstous.”

      “Hedidn’truinmylife.Hemadeitbetter.Ifyouweren’tsopig-headed you’dseethattoo.”Valgesturedtoherhalf-cladbody.“Imean,lookatme.

      I’msomuchprettiernow.AndI’mreallygoodatmyjobtoo.Imean,Ijust knockedKriseeoffthetopspot.That’showgoodIam.Before,whatwasI?

      Justanotherstupidsoldier,anotherdrone.”

      “Youwereahero,Val.Thinkofallthosemedalstheygaveyou.”

      “MaybeIdon’tcareaboutbeingahero.”

      “Youjustcareaboutlookingpretty,right?”Karisighedandshookher head.“Areyoureallythatnaïve?Areyouthatstupid?”

      “You’retheonewho’sstupid!Imean,lookatyou!Youletyourselfgetall oldandhideousforwhat,toprovesomestupidpointtoyourself?Soyoucan feelsuperiortomeandtheothergirls?Wellyouaren’t.You’reajoketous,the girlwhothrewawayeverythingsoshecouldhaveherpreciousdignity.”

      “MaybeIamajoke,butthatdoesn’texplainwhyyou’rewithhimnow.”

      “Itoldyouaboutthecircus,didn’tI?”

      “Thecircusheputyouin!”

      “ButafterIgothere,wetalkedaboutit.Heexplainedeverythingtome.

      Hedidthisforourowngood,Kari.Hecaresaboutus.Hewantedustoletgo oftheoldwayssowecouldbehappy.”

      “Wewerehappybefore!Weren’twe?”ShestaredatVal,wholooked away.“Weren’twe?”

      “Iwasn’t.ImeanIdidstillloveyou,butallthetimeIwasouttherein spacebymyself,Igottothinkingaboutthings.Ifeverythinghadgoneas plannedwewouldhavecomebackhereandgottenmarried,andmaybehada baby,andthenafteryouwentblind,I’dhavetostayhometotakecareofyou andthekid.AndIcouldjustseeitinmyheadthatslowlybutsurelyinsteadof mywifeyou’dendupbeinglikemymomandinsteadofreallylovingyoulikea husband,I’dbelikeacaregiver.Youunderstand?”

      “You…youweregoingtodumpme?”

      “Yes,butthenIgottotheplanetandyouwerealittlekid.Well,notso little.ThenallthisstuffstartedtohappenwithTaiandeventuallyhehelpedme toseethathehadsavedme.Hewouldhavesavedbothofus,ifonlyyou’dlet him.”

      “Idon’tbelievewhatI’mhearing.You’relying!Thatorhe’sdone somethingtoyourmind.TheValIknewlovedmeasmuchasIlovedher.”

      “Thenmaybeyouneverknewheratall.”Valemergedfromthecornerto takeKari’shand.“ThewayIlovedyouwasdifferentthanhowyoulovedme.I mean,Ihadotherfriends,evenmalefriends.You,youdidn’thaveanyone.I mean,yougotskinnierbutyouwerestillMolegirlontheinside,afat,shygirl desperateforanyonetolikeher.Whensomeonedidlikeyou,yougrabbedon withbothhandsandrefusedtoletthemgo.

      “ButIwasdifferent,Kari.Ididn’tneedyouthesamewayyouneededme.

      Butnowyoudon’tneedme.AllyouhavetodoistalktoTaiandhecanmake youprettyagain.Thenyoucanhaveallthefriendsyouwant.Youcanfind someonewhoreallydoesloveyouthatdesperately.”

      Karidissolvedintoasobbingheaponthefloor.ShefeltValpatheronthe backandthenheardtheclickofthelock.Whensheopenedhereyes,shewas alone.

      Chapter13

      ValfoundTaiwaitinginthesamespot,thoughsomehowhehadgottenhold ofherblouse.Shethrewherselfontohiswaitinglapandthenpressedherhead againsthiscomforting,beefyshoulder.Shefelthisrock-hardmusclesencircle her,protectingherfromtherestoftheworld.“Didn’tgowell,didit?”hesaid.

      Sheshookherhead.“Ihadtotellherthetruth.”

      “Thetruthalwayshurtsthemost.”

      “Iknow.”

      Shehadn’twantedtotellKarithetruth,becausesheknewhowfragileher friendwas.Karihadalwaysbeensobrittle,sosensitiveandatthesametimeso eagertoplease.Thefirsttimethey’dmettheyhadn’tbeenmucholderthanin preschool.Karihadalreadybeenfatbackthenandjustgottenherfirstpairof glasses.Shehadbeensittinginaquietcorneroftheplayground,justsitting motionlessinaswing.

      BackthenValhadbeenshieraswell,mostlybecausehersmallsizemade heratargetforbullyingandshehadn’tlearnedhowtofightbackyet.With thosegoofyglassesandherplumpface,Karihadseemedharmlessenough.So Valhadwalkedoverandclearedherthroat.“Hi.”

      Karibarelyliftedherhead,continuingtostareatherfeetastheytraced circlesintheair.“Hi,”shemumbled.

      “Whyaren’tyouswinging?That’swhatswingsarefor.”

      Karijustshrugged.“Don’tfeellikeit.”

      “Butit’sfun.”Valsatontheswingnexttoher.Shebegantopushherself backandforth,generatingmoreandmorespeed.Karididn’twatchatfirst,but eventuallysheturnedherhead,watchingthroughaveilofbrownhair.Justto emphasizethefunofit,Valletoutascreamofjoy.“Comeon!”

      OnlythendidKaribeginswinging.Thatwasprettymuchhowithadbeen forthenexttwenty-fiveyears.ValdidthepushingandKariwentalongforthe ride.IthadbeenValwhosuggestedKaristudyarchaeology,sinceherfriend likedsearchingthebeachforhiddentreasures.TheonlytimeKarididany pushingonherownwasforthatoff-worldexpedition.EventhensheneededVal topushthemilitarybureaucracytomakeithappen.

      Asshehadsatintheship,alone,Valhadrealizedtheproblemwasonly goingtogetworse.OnceKari’seyesightwentcompletely,herfriendwould needsomeonearoundtohelpher,takecareofher.ThemoreValconsideredit, themoreitfeltasifanooseweretighteningaroundherneck.

      Shehadspenthertripbacktotheplanetrehearsinghowtobreakitgently

      toKari.Shehadplannedtostresshowlittletheyhadseeneachotherinthepast yearduringpreparationsfortheexpedition.Shewouldstressthatshestill wantedtoremainbestfriends,butarelationshipjustwasn’tpossibleanymore.

      ThenshegottotheplanetandfoundKaribacktobeinghelplesslittleMolegirl andValknewshecouldn’tsayanythingthen.

      Oncetheygottotheplanet,ValfoughtagainstTaioutofspite,orperhaps somemisplacedpride.Shehadbeenasoldierafterall,chargedwithdefending thingsastheyhadbeen.Soshehadfoughtuntilfinallyshecouldn’tfight anymoreandhadtosurrenderandkissTai’sring.

      Thathadbeenthebestthingtohappentoher.Karimightwanttoactall stuck-upaboutitandcallherawhoreandaccuseherofsellingherbody,but hereValfeltfreeforthefirsttimeinherlife.Shewasn’ttieddownheretoany onepersonoronesetofrules.Sheonlyhadtoputonagoodshowandtherest wouldtakecareofitself.

      Cominghere,Valhadfoundherselffreedfromalltheshacklesofherold life.Withthisbeautifulnewbodyshenolongerhadtobethetoughlittle tomboy,thesoldier.Shecouldbearealwomanhere—aflirt,atease,afantasy asKarihadputit.Onenightshecouldbeastewardessandthenextshe
    could beaschoolgirlandafterthattheonlylimitwasherimagination.

      IfKarihadjustembracedthat,shetoocouldhavebeenfree.Insteadshe’d seenitasapunishmentratherthanareward.She’dchosentoclingtosilly idealsaboutmodestyandvirtue.Andmostofall,she’dchosentoclingtoVal insteadofrealizingshecouldhaveanyoneshewanted.

      NowitwastoolateforKari.Shewasanoldhagwithsixblackmarks,and probablymorebeforelong.Itwouldn’ttakemuchlongerbeforeshewould probablyenduponthestreet,gettingfuckedbysomesweatyguyforpocket change.

      WhileValwasn’tKari’sfianceeorhergirlfriendanymore,shedidstill considerherselfKari’sbestfriend.ShelookedupwithtearyeyesatTai.“We havetohelpher.”

      “I’vetried,mydear.Shekeepsresisting.”

      “Therehastobesomethingwecandotomakeherhappyagain.”Val consideredthesituationagain.“Maybeifyoumakeherprettyagain,she’llbe moreappreciativethistime,nowthatshe’sbeenahag.”

      “Idoubtthat.”

      “Can’tyouatleasttryit?Please?”

      “Itwouldn’tbefairtotheothergirlsifIchangedKariback.Rulesare rules.”

      “Well,thendon’tmakeherawaitressoradanceranymore.Therehastobe

      somethingelsehereshecando.”

      “Scrubthetoiletsperhaps?”

      ValgaveTai’schinagentleslap.“No,silly.Shewouldhatethat.Maybe shecouldworkintheoffice.Shewasasecretary.”

      “Idon’tthinksecretarialworkagreedwithher.”

      Vallookedaroundtheclub.Hereyessettledonthebar.“Howaboutthe bar?Mixingdrinksisn’tthathard.AndMak’sbeenlookingforsomeoneto takeafewdaysfromhim.”

      “DoyoureallythinkKariwouldlikebeingabartender?”

      “Ithinkshe’lllikeitbetterthanbeingadancerorawaitress.”Shebatted hereyelashesathim.“Pwease,Daddy,dothisonewidowthingforme?”

      “Oh,allright,mypet.Butifshecausesanytrouble,she’llbescrubbingthe toilets.”

     


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