Her Crazy Life: Sons of Lost Souls MC Novella 3.5
Ellie R. Hunter
Her Crazy Life
Sons of Lost Soul MC book 3.5
Ellie R Hunter
Contents
Also by Ellie R Hunter
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Epilogue
Ellie R Hunter
Her Crazy Life
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© 2018 Ellie R Hunter
Self-publishing
[email protected]
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and situations within its pages and places or persons, living or dead, is unintentional and co-incidental.
twitter.com/EllieRHunter
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Cover Design by
Tracie Douglas at Dark Water Covers.
Also by Ellie R Hunter
Also, by Ellie R Hunter
Incurable Hearts
Perfectly Obsessed
The Grace Porter Series
To Live or To Die
Four Fallen Souls Series
Smile, Alice
The Lost Souls MC Series: Biker Bait
Biker Faith
Biker Bound
Biker Born
Biker Saviour
Biker Taken
Biker Torn
Biker Ruined
Biker Salvation
Sons of Lost Souls MC: His Father’s Son
His Selfish Love
His Ride or Die
Her Crazy Life (Novella)
This book is dedicated to my husband, he deals with my craziness and I’ll love him always for it.
Harper
I should have brought a cushion out with me, the porch steps are cutting into my ass and thighs and making me regret coming out here to wait. Normal people would get up and go back inside to wait for their husbands to return home. However, I’m not normal and I’m freaking the hell out. I feel trapped waiting indoors, like the walls are closing in on me until they are satisfied I’m squashed into a tiny little cube.
JJ has been on this current run for the last four days and it’s been the longest one yet. At first, he wouldn’t leave me. About two months ago I told him I would be fine, I was lying through my teeth, but I still made him go. I’m not in any danger up here, and it was nice to spend some time alone, it also gave us a chance to see if this bubble we were living in would last being apart for a while. It worked out well for us, he would leave for a few days, we’d miss each other like crazy and spend days making up for it when he returned.
Only this time hasn’t been smooth going for me. I haven’t enjoyed our time apart and I certainly haven’t been eagerly awaiting his return so I can get my hands on him.
The slither of plastic sits snugly in my jacket pocket, a violent reminder of what could have been.
“Do you worry about him?”
I crank my neck to look up at Bella, her hair is bright red today in contrast to the pink streaks she had yesterday. Her style is whatever she throws on each morning and she has zero fucks for what people think of her. Today, she is wearing skinny jeans with a thick woollen off the shoulder sweater and it’s cute. Yesterday, she was rocking the goth look. Her wardrobe must be an amazing array of choices.
“No, should I? Have you heard something?” I ask her.
Anything can happen on a run, I know that, but this place hasn’t got a patch on Willows Peak, there’s nothing to worry about here. Bella isn’t with anyone here and she isn’t a club girl. She’s a friend of the guys and the old ladies. I’m not sure what her story is, but I’m content not to start digging around as she returns the same curtesy to me.
We both know we have stories, but we never ask, and we’re happy with that. A silent deal between us.
“I haven’t heard anything, it’s just you sit out here every time he’s due back like you won’t believe he’s fine till you see him for yourself.”
“I sit out here because I miss him, and I have nothing else to do,” I laugh, and it comes out weird.
Today I’m out here because I want to speak to him before he gets the chance to climb off his bike, plus, I can’t sit still inside while everyone pretends they’re not looking at me.
“You haven’t been married long, have you? Mind you, if I had a guy like yours, I would be sitting out here too. I might have to take a trip to Willows Peak if the rest of the club look as good as him.”
I don’t think of Zach in that way as he’s my cousin and that’s gross, I don’t think of the twins as they’re barely over the legal age of consent and as far as Leo and Luca go, they’re my brothers who I haven’t let myself think about till now and I’m definitely not going there with them.
“I struck lucky with JJ, sorry, it wouldn’t be worth the ride down there.”
“That’s unfortunate,” she sighs and heads back inside.
As silently as she appeared, she leaves just as quietly.
Returning my attention to the road, I hear the familiar rumble of bikes approaching and my hands begin to sweat. Yuck. That’s never happened to me before. JJ is the only person I’ve ever anticipated a reaction from. I’ve never cared enough about anyone else to care about what they think.
Rising to my feet when I see him riding up behind Zander, he veers to the left where he parks here, and I instinctively walk towards him. His smile when he pulls his bandana down warms through me and I know my home is back with me.
He falters when he sees my hesitation to beam a smile back at him and his eyebrows knit together with concern.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can we go for a walk?” I say, instead of answering him.
“No, you can tell me what’s wrong right now.”
His beautiful eyes are usually hard, they soften before me and he turns his back to everyone moving around us.
“I’m fine, I want to talk to you with no one else around. Can we please go for a walk?”
Gabe and Zander busy themselves, appearing not to be listening, but they are, the nosy bastards.
He relents and climbs off his bike, nods towards Gabe and takes hold of my hand.
“Sure.”
We walk into the trees surrounding the clubhouse and up the path towards the mountain edge. I could barely breathe properly the first time we came up here, but I’m fine now. My ears don’t pop either. Always progression in my life nowadays.
It takes us ten minutes to reach our spot and then I’m being spun into his arms and held against his chest.
“Talk, Harper,” he growls.
My need for him grows being this close after our time apart, and I wish he wasn’t hell bent on getting to the truth right now. However, this is what I wanted, and I curb my needs for him.
“How was your trip?” I ask, noticing a blue tint to his jaw and broken skin over his r
ight hand. It’s not the first time he’s come back after a run with evidence of being in a fight. The last run they went on ended in a fight at some dive bar they stopped off at on the way back.
“That’s not what I meant by talking, what’s going on?”
He’s starting to worry, so I wriggle in his arms until he loosens up and I reach into my pocket. He watches my every move and I pass him the test. He frowns when it hits him what it is.
“Are you pregnant?”
“No,” I tell him quickly.
I feel marginally better when he releases a sigh of relief and stops himself from smiling, but then he’s frowning again.
“Did you want to be?” he asks sceptically.
“God no, I have been freaking out since I thought I could be. I don’t ever want to be in that position. I know we haven’t spoken realistically about our future and what it looks like for us, but I don’t see kids in mine. Ever.”
We should have had this conversation before we got married, but I love him so much, I would’ve held down all my darkest secrets to be with him. It’s wrong, but I love him. Our love is definitely selfish.
“Then we were made for each other, because I don’t see kids in mine either.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Relief nearly consumes me, I feel dizzy then it’s replaced with doubts.
Is he saying this to make me happy or does he mean it? Turning me in his hold, he drags me over to the huge rock that has become a bench to us and we sit down, side by side and take in the flawless view.
“For the record, I never wanted children before I met you. We should have had this out before we got married, but maybe we both already knew deep down. All I want is you and me, against all odds, together.”
While I’m happy to hear it, I ask, “Why don’t you want kids?”
“Why don’t you want them?” he retorts without answering my question.
“Because I’d be terrible at keeping them alive,” I snort, using the most pathetic excuse first. “They’re too much of a responsibility, I felt like a burden, and I won’t put that on any child.”
“You wouldn’t be Lily, babe.”
For someone who fought being with me for so long, who didn’t really take any note of what I used to drone on about and who wanted my body and not my mind, he sure knows me well.
“So, why don’t you want them?” I ask him again.
“I can’t stand them,” he shrugs.
“You seemed alright around Rayna.”
“No, I wasn’t, all she did was cry. I still don’t understand how Leo is wrapped up with her.”
“Maybe you have to have them to know,” I shrug.
Who are we kidding, we don’t know anything about having babies, apart from we don’t want them.
“Who knows what the future holds for us,” he grunts, picking up a small rock.
He leans back and throws it out into the trees.
“I know my future doesn’t involve having kids.” I have to say it again to ground it in to him.
“Stop, Harps. You don’t have to convince me, in time you’ll see I don’t want them either.”
I believe him now, so I ask my next question. “How will your parents feel about that?”
His mom is lovely and would probably be one of those grandparents who had the kid over for the weekend and bake cookies and she’d read bedtime stories. She’d probably be perfect and we’re going to take that away from her. I doubt Lily will care either way. She’d hate being called Grandma, she wouldn’t read to them and she certainly wouldn’t bake cookies and cakes with them.
“I don’t imagine my dad will care either way, my mom might be upset for a while, but she’ll get over it. It’s not like they had a hoard of kids themselves.”
That’s true. Oh god, adulting and future planning suck when you take life seriously. When your only plans for the weekend used to be drinking and having sex, life wasn’t built on tough conversations and difficult decisions.
“You worry too much about things that don’t concern anyone but us. Neither of us want kids, that’s allowed to be. It’s our decision and only we have to live with it. We only have to make ourselves happy, babe. No one else.”
I thread my fingers through his and lean my head on his shoulder. I inhale his leather scent and I reckon I could pick him out of any line-up with just his smell.
“Bella asked me if I worried about you when you’re gone with the club just before you got back.”
“Did she? What did you say?”
“I told her I didn’t.”
And it’s because we’re here in Mercy, there is nothing to worry about. Life is so different compared to life with Lily or in Willows Peak. It was the best decision to leave town, and the second-best decision was to come here.
We’re on a freaking mountain, everyone here is tied to the club in one way or another. I’m not worried about strangers getting by the brothers.
“You never have to worry about me, you know I’m always coming home to you.”
“Is it weird that I don’t worry?”
I am his wife, after all. His laugh echoes around us and it’s infectious.
“If we were in the shit, I’d think it was weird. Up here though, I expect you to understand I can handle myself. There is nothing to worry about.”
“Maybe we should stay here permanently?”
For a split second it’s not a faraway dream, and then it crashes around me. Fuck those one minute moments of grace, who needs them anyway.
“Don’t think that way, Harps. We’ll be going home the minute Cas says it’s safe for you.”
I enjoy the scenery around us, all greens and browns, instead of arguing with him. Right now in my life, there is no room in my mind for returning to Willows Peak. I’m healthy here, and I don’t see leaving in my future. I’ve never felt at home anywhere before, but I can see us being happy here. I really can. There is a cabin just off the first turning on the mountain and I reckon it could be the perfect home for JJ and me.
“Come on, I’m hungry. Let’s go hunt some food down.”
And like that, our conversation is done. He stands first and pulls me up with him.
I feel safest when we’re alone and JJ is the only one in my bubble. When we’re called back to Willows Peak, I’ll never extend our bubble, but I’ll definitely be keeping my eyes open.
“Do you think you want to stay here so you don’t have to deal with Cas and all the shit that’s back home?”
I count the trees as we walk and pretend I’m thinking. I can’t think about Cas, or the thought of having a whole other family. Their rejection has already pierced a hole into my heart. I was the one who told him we shouldn’t explore a relationship but he didn’t fight for me, he didn’t argue that I was wrong, nothing.
“No, staying here will be good for us. I can see us settling down here and being happy.”
“Wouldn’t you be happy back in Willows Peak?”
“What’s there to be happy about? Ellis is waiting for me, I have people I’m supposedly related to now and they hate me, every woman in town has had sex with you, my mom is there. The list is pretty much endless of the possibilities of what could bring me down.”
It’s making me angry and I go to slip my hand from his, he tightens his hold and then stops dead when we get to the cut off path.
“Before I turn you around to see what I’m seeing, you’re going to listen to me real good. If we stay here or head back home, nothing is coming between us and nothing is bringing you down, not while you’re wearing my ring.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to argue back. His hands land on my shoulders and he spins me around. What the fuck?
Harper
I must be seeing things. Alannah and Cas are not climbing out of an SUV. Leo and Luca are not pulling up beside JJ’s bike and killing their engines. It’s been months since we arrived here, and I like it being our little world away from Willows Peak. Anyone, let alone
Cas and Alannah, showing up here has my heart rate picking up.
JJ and I stop at the beginning of the footpath to the clubhouse, he’s just as stunned as I am. I know he’s missed Leo, but he stays at my side and we watch together as India throws open the back door and unbuckles the baby from her seat. Leo glances over to his girls and then over to us.
A broad smile covers his face and he holds his arms wide.
“I missed you, brother. Where’s my fucking welcome?” he yells with deep humour ringing his tone.
JJ’s arm slips from around my shoulder and in the blink of an eye, the two are in each other’s arms and hugging it out. He’s missed his brother and best friend, but I didn’t realise how much. I’m caught up in the moment, weirdly happy for them to be in the same vicinity, that I’ve missed Cas leaning against the car watching me.
My smile turns awkward and so does his. He looks pale and I can’t be sure, but he looks like he’s lost weight. India, holding the baby, joins Leo and JJ and doesn’t notice me until JJ calls me over.
What the hell are they doing here?
Hiding behind the falsest smile I’ve ever worn, I walk over to my cousin and her little family, careful not to make eye contact with Cas again.
Before I can say a word, she is collecting me in a hug and pulling me against her. Leo is quick to take the baby, who has grown considerably since I last saw her, and I exhale deeply when she lets me go.
