healing by choosing to let go of, 8, 348
lengthy mourning as impediment to process of, 352–3
loss of a child and, 10, 232, 350, 352, 353
older women’s experience of grief over mother, 289–91
parents after a child’s suicide and, 348–54
physiological manifestation of, 215
Vietnam veterans and, 296–7
for what happened and what didn’t happen, 251
Gunskirchen Lager concentration camp, Austria, 85–91
broken back at, 86
calling on memories of mother during, 86
connection between Edith and Magda during, 88, 90–1
Death March from Mauthausen to, 83–4, 105, 174
death of prisoners at, 85
food fantasies and desires during, 87, 90
liberation of, 88–91, 223
Magda’s flirting as escape at, 86
rescue of, 87–91
gymnastics
Edith’s training for, 30–3, 108
Edith’s reaction to Keleti’s performance in, 194–5
Hartmann, Ava, 136, 138, 139, 143
Hitler, Adolf, 96, 196
art student’s story about, 281
Béla on Edith’s approach to, 269, 270
Edith’s rage at, 179, 185, 234
experience of forgiveness of, 279, 280–1, 288
Final Solution and, 273
visit to Berchtesgaden retreat of, 267, 269, 273, 280
Hitler Youth, 269, 275
Horthy, Miklós, 25, 61
hospitalization, therapist’s decision for, 5, 247
Hungary
Horthy’s hold on deportation of Jews in, 61
imprisonment of Jews in Jakab brick factory camp during, 40–2
Jewish life in, before World War II, 24–6
Nazis in, during World War II, 26, 61
Soviet squashing of anti-Communist rebellion in, 195
Interpretation of Dreams (Freud), 42, 124–5
Israel
Béla’s final decision not to immigrate to, 168
Bricha’s help for immigrants to, 148, 150, 160, 161
Edith and Béla’s plans to immigrate to, 147–9, 160, 161–2, 164
Edith’s concerns about life in, 161–2
reports about problems with life in, 160
survivors in, 228–31
Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, 162
Jews
art student’s story about, 281
deportation to concentration camps of, 61
Edith’s school harassment for being, 32
expulsion from Olympic gymnastics training team and, 31–3
forced labor camp imprisonment of, 26, 29–30
imprisonment in Jakab brick factory camp of, 40–2
internalization of sense of inferiority about being, 25, 27
Jakab brick factory camp for, 40–2
life in Hungary for, before World War II, 25–6
migration from Hungary by, 26
Nazi rules in Hungary for, 27, 28, 35
yellow star wearing by, 27, 127
Jews for Jesus, 176
Jung, Carl, 212
Jungian analysis, 212, 222, 314
Kassa, Hungary (later Košice, Czechoslovakia), 24–5
Keleti, Ágnes, 194–5
Kenyérmező internment camp, Hungary, 41–2, 113
Kolmer, Dr. Harold, 5
Korda, Imre, 105, 106, 127, 133, 139, 158
Korda, Klara Elefánt (sister)
Béla’s arrest by Communists and Edith’s escape arrangements with, 151, 157–9
calling on memories of, during concentration camp experiences, 51, 86
courtship of, 126, 127
Edith and Béla’s immigration plans for Israel and, 162, 163
Edith’s childhood memories of, 18, 19–20, 34, 37, 125
Edith’s first child and, 142
family’s use of identifying phrase for, 248
initial meeting with future husband, 117–8
later years and death of, 355
marriage to Csicsi, 138–9, 355
move to Australia by, 139, 158, 177
music studies in Budapest of, 32, 33–4
parents’ goodbye letter to, 42, 112–13
postwar musical performances by, 109, 117, 121
postwar return to family home in Košice by, 114
refuge stay in Vienna and, 158, 159, 162, 163
sisters’ postwar thoughts about finding, 102, 104, 109
sisters’ recovery and, 116, 118–19, 121, 126
sisters’ reunion with, 110–12
survival in Hungary during war by, 113–14
Korda, Lester “Csicsi”
Béla’s arrest by Communists and escape arrangements with, 157–9
Béla’s tuberculosis history and, 167
courtship of Klara by, 126, 127
Edith’s wedding and, 133
initial meeting with future wife, 117–18
marriage to Klara, 138–9, 355
move to Australia by, 139, 158, 177
postwar return to Košice by, 105, 106
refuge stay in Vienna and, 163
Latynina, Larisa, 195
Lavis, Gloria and John, 221
learned helplessness, 223–4
Lili (friend), 217–18
Man’s Search for Meaning (Frankl), 202, 203–4, 208, 210, 222, 230
Marianna (Béla’s cousin), 125, 129, 131, 142–3
Mariska (housekeeper), 136, 137, 148, 150, 178
marriage
anger at partner’s affairs in, 259–63
taking responsibility for oneself in, 270
Matilda, Aunt, 26, 108, 116, 141, 147, 168, 171, 185
Mauthausen concentration camp, Austria, 78–83
anticipating death in, 79
arrival at, 78
Death March to Gunskirchen from, 83, 105, 174
drawing on inner world for survival in, 174
loss of faith in, 81
Stairs of Death and quarrying stone at, 78–9
Mengele, Dr. Josef, 58–60, 181, 203
Béla on Edith’s approach to, 270–1
“Blue Danube” performance for, 51–3, 127, 211
bread received from,
choosing how to respond to, 271
Edith’s desire to track down and confront, 230, 234
first glimpse of, 45–6
Nazis. See also Auschwitz concentration camp; forced march through Germany; Gunskirchen Lager concentration camp; Mauthausen concentration camp
Béla’s escape from, 129–30
Béla’s family deaths in Prešov and, 129
Jewish life in Hungary and, 26, 28, 61
Nuremberg Trials, 230
Olympics
Edith’s gymnastics training for, 31–3, 108
Edith’s reaction to Keleti’s performance in, 194–5
Operation Barbarossa, 27
panic attacks in, 7, 271, 343
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), 9, 174, 268
Prešov, Slovakia
Béla’s family background in, 128, 188
Edith’s married life in, 135–7
Pressburger, Emeric, 178
Producers, The (movie), 277
rage
Edith’s desire to release her own experience of, 235–6
forgiveness and, 341
need for survivors to express and let out, 234–5
partner’s affairs in marriage and, 259–63
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, 224–6
Ravensbrück concentration camp, 229
Red Cross, 87
Red Shoes, The (movie), 178–81, 212
revenge
anger at partner’s affairs in marriage and expressing, 260, 263, 264
survivors and fantasies of, 71, 103, 230
&nbs
p; uselessness of, 280
Rogers, Carl, 223, 226–7
Roosevelt, Franklin D., 76
Rothschild Hospital, Vienna, 159–66, 167, 293
Russia
Béla’s fighting with troops from, 129
World War II and, 27, 28, 63, 113
Saybrook University, 223
secrets
family’s hiding of child’s condition as, 239
trauma from keeping, 7–8
self-acceptance, 226
Seligman, Martin, 223, 227
Selye, Dr. Hans, 295
Shapiro, Molly, 198
Shillman, Ilona, 186, 354
Shillman, Magda. See Elefánt, Magda
Shillman, Nat, 184–5, 186, 216
survival
drawing on inner strength for, 57–8, 174
Edith’s address to veterans on, 358–9
Edith’s loss of part of life to, 209
survivors
acceptance of past by, 10
blame and, 9–10
Edith’s interviews of, for dissertation, 228–31
forgiveness and, 230
Frankl’s book on experiences of, 202
love for children and next generation held by, 232
memories and, 21
permission to feel anger and rage by, 234–6
power to determine life after trauma and, 231
TB hospital, Tatra Mountains, 121, 124–5, 131
ten Boom, Corrie, 229, 301
therapy
Agnes and breast cancer diagnosis in, 251–7
Beatrice’s loss of childhood and panic attacks in, 337–47
Capt. Jason Fuller’s anger and catatonic state in, 3–6, 257–66, 314–16
Carlos’s anxiety at college and, 331–7
colonel’s family problems and, 281–8
decision for hospitalization in, 5, 247
Elise’s despair in relationship with Todd, 325–30
Emma and eating disorder treatment in, 239–51
establishment of private practice in, 238
family constitution of rules used in, 249–50
first patient in private practice in, 238–9
guiding others to position of empowerment during, 10
hunger as common diagnosis in, 9
immediate mental evaluation of patient’s boundaries in first few minutes of, 242–3
important phrases used by Rogers in, 227
Jun and Ling’s marriage problems in, 316–24
Jung’s vision of, 212
older women’s experience of grief over mother, 289–91
need to establish new relationship with own trauma for success in, 239
overweight patient’s learning to love herself through, 295–6
parents after a child’s suicide and, 348–54
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in, 9, 174, 268
reframing of experience in, 291 steps for healing through, 314
therapy sessions
inside-out exercise in, 254–6
learning from patients in, 257
question on first visit in, 4, 321–3
sensitivities to patient’s boundaries in, 242–3
technique of asking patient for assistance in, 258–9
usefulness of therapist in, 325
writing exercise in, 255
ways of starting, 3–4
Thompson, Audrey. See Eger, Audrey
trauma
flashback responses to, 174
Holocaust survivors and, 229
keeping secrets and, 7–8
power to determine life after, 231
Truman, Harry S., 76
United Nations Relief and Rehabilitation Administration, 105
United States
arrival in New York City, 167–71
Béla’s decision to immigrate to, 168–9
Béla’s tuberculosis history and visa for, 163, 169
Edith’s decision to immigrate to, 163–4, 168–9
Edith’s struggles in adjusting to life in, 175, 176–7
immigrant jobs available in, 177
immigration papers granted by, 149, 151, 160–1, 162–3
Klara’s support for immigration to, 163
wait for visas to, 167
University of Texas
Edith’s studies at, 198, 201, 208–9, 213, 223
son John’s graduation from, 236
Vadasz, Bandi, 136, 143, 147, 159, 161, 164, 168, 231
Vadasz, Marta, 136, 137, 143, 147, 159, 161, 164, 168, 231–2
veterans
Capt. Jason Fuller’s catatonic state and, 3–6, 257–66, 314–16
Edith’s address to, on surviving, 358–9
grieving by, 296–7
reactions to disabilities by, 233–5
victimhood
definition of, 270
internally developing a victim’s mind in, 9–10
perpetual mourning and, 352
taking responsibility for ending, 10, 270, 319–20, 330, 336
victimization differentiated from, 9
victims
blame and, 9–10, 339
making choices to avoid becoming, 215, 336
perspective needed for transformation from, 234
survivors and later feelings of being, 231
Vienna, refuge stay in, 159–66, 167
Vietnam veterans, 233–5, 285, 296–7
“Viktor Frankl and Me” (Eger), 210
vulnerability
man’s sense of, 263, 297
in therapy sessions, 4, 235, 300, 340
wife’s experience of, 319, 323
Wels, Austria, recovery in home in, 95–104
William Beaumont Army Medical Center, Fort Bliss, Texas, 5, 233, 236, 266
California licensure requirements and hours at, 236
clinical internship at, 233
Edith’s reputation at, 233, 236
Vietnam veterans in treatment at, 233–5, 285, 296–7
Woehr, David, 266, 273–4
World War I, 24, 27
Zionism, 28, 147, 231
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Copyright © Edith Eger 2017
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