control, in eating disorders, 242–3
Czechoslovakia
Communist in, 139, 142, 145, 146, 147, 150, 153, 155
Hungarian Jewish minority in, 24–6
Nazi policy against Jews in, 35
return of Košice to, 110
dance
“Blue Danube” performance for Mengele, 51–3, 127, 211
childhood ballet training and, 20–1, 23, 27, 48, 179, 208, 246
granddaughter’s classes in, 251
learning music and dances from American soldiers during recovery, 101, 104
postwar recovery in Košice and, 127–8
The Red Shoes movie on, 178–81, 212
social dancing with Béla, 207–8, 214
danger, sense of
repeated encounters with an event reinforcing, 340
in therapy sessions, 4
Death March to Gunskirchen, 83, 105, 174
depression, 124, 236, 289, 324
as common diagnosis, 9
grief work to diminish, 339, 341
as reaction to past, 7
diagnosis, hunger as common, 9
displaced persons camps, 105
Eagle’s Nest (Berghof), Hitler’s residence at, 273, 277–8, 280
eating disorder treatment, 239–51
Eger, Albert, 149, 188
Eger, Audrey (daughter)
birth of, 185–6
family life in El Paso and, 189, 190, 195, 197, 198, 200, 201, 207, 208, 216
move to El Paso and, 188
parents’ divorce and, 205–6, 219
Eger, Barbara, 192, 193
Eger, Béla (husband)
accountant job and studies of, 183, 186, 192, 194, 197
American immigration papers secured by, 149, 151, 188
arrival in New York City and, 167–70
birth of second child and, 186
birth of third child and, 194
childhood music studies of, 182–3
children’s reaction to divorce of, 205–6
Communists’ arrest of, 150–5
Communists’ harassment of, 145, 146, 147
courtship letters to Edith from, 128–30, 214
decision to immigrate to America with Edith by, 168–9
desire for new relationship with Edith after divorce, 219–21
earlier romantic relationships of, 121–2, 125, 130–1
early married life in Eger mansion in Prešov, 135–7
Edith’s decision to divorce, 206–8, 211, 213
Edith’s decision to immigrate to America and, 163–4, 168–9, 180
Edith’s decision to marry, 130–1
Edith’s feeling of love for, 125, 130, 154–5, 209–10
Edith’s pregnancy and birth of first child and, 137–8, 141, 142–3
Edith’s return to Auschwitz and, 293, 295, 297, 301, 303, 309
Edith’s survivor past and family life and, 196, 200–1
Edith’s trip to Berchtesgaden and, 269–70, 275–6, 276–7
El Paso move and, 188–9
escape from prison and train trip out of Czechoslovakia by, 155–9
family background of, 128–9
family life in El Paso and, 194, 195, 202–3
first American job of, 177, 181, 182 first marriage to a gentile woman by, 125, 130–1
initial meeting with Edith 121–3
Israel immigration plans of, 147–9, 160, 161–2, 164
marriage and honeymoon with Edith, 133–5
Marianne’s childhood pneumonia and, 144–6
refuge stay in Vienna and, 159–63
second marriage with Edith, 221
son’s challenges and, 199–200
struggles adjusting to life in Baltimore and, 176–7
stutter of, 122, 128, 133, 177, 186
TB hospital stay of, 124–5, 163, 169
TB recurrence in Baltimore and, 181–2
trip to Israel with Edith, 228–9
trip to TB hospital with Edith, 122–3
wartime escape from Nazis by, 129–30
Eger, Bob, 188, 192
Eger, Dickie (Richard), 192, 193–4
Eger, Duci, 177, 184
Eger, Dr. Edith Eva
childhood, 14–42
ballet training during, 20–1, 23, 27, 48, 179, 208, 246
expulsion from Olympic gymnastics training team during, 31–3, 108
family’s use of identifying phrase for Edith, 248
father’s forced labor camp imprisonment during, 29–30
first romance with Eric during, 27–8, 29, 38–9, 40, 41, 42, 45, 48–9, 80–1, 124–5, 147, 200
imprisonment in Jakab brick factory camp during, 40–2
last moment together with sister and mother, 13–14
memories of parents and sisters during, 14–36
parents’ decision not to flee Hungary and, 35–6
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment, 37–40
train transport to and arrival at Auschwitz, 42–5
yellow star wearing in, 27
World War II experiences, 42–91
See also Auschwitz concentration camp; forced march through Germany; Gunskirchen Lager concentration camp; Mauthausen concentration camp
Edith’s thoughts about her legacy from, 271–2
learning American music and dances during recovery after, 101–104
physical recovery in Wels, Austria, home after, 95–104
psychological recovery after, 103
questioning reasons for survival after, 21, 24, 115
rescue of, at Gunskirchen concentration camp, 89–91
postwar life in Košice, 110–32
return to Košice, 110–20, 126–32
TB hospital stay, 120–5
train journey home after recovery, 104–10
marriage
American immigration papers secured by Béla and, 149, 151, 160–1, 162–3, 188
arrival in New York City, 167–71
Béla’s arrest by Communists and, 150–5
Béla’s decision to immigrate to America, 168–9
Béla’s desire for a relationship after divorce, 219–21
Béla’s escape from prison and train trip out of Czechoslovakia and, 155–9
birth of second child and, 185–6
birth of third child and, 194
children’s reaction to divorce of, 205–6
clothing factory work, 171
college studies during, 198, 201, 208–9, 213, 223, 236
daily family life rituals and, 197–8
decision to marry Béla, 130–1
divorce decision of, 206–8, 211, 213
early married life of luxury in Eger mansion in Prešov, 135–7
Edith’s decision to immigrate to America, 163–4, 168–9, 180
El Paso move and, 188–9
first grandchild of, 251
hunger for self and, 208
Israel immigration plans and, 147–9, 160, 161–2, 164
Klara’s proposed move to Australia and, 139, 162
love for Béla in, 130, 154–5, 209–10
marriage and honeymoon with Béla, 133–5
Marianne’s childhood pneumonia and, 144–6
pregnancy and birth of first child in, 135, 137–8, 141–2
refuge stay in Vienna and, 159–63
second marriage with Béla, 221
survivor past and family life of, 193, 196–7, 200–1, 218–19
taking responsibility for oneself in, 270
professional work
address to military chaplains in Berchtesgaden, Germany, 266–7, 273–4, 278–81
address to returning army veterans, 358–9
Agnes and breast cancer diagnosis, 251–7
Beatrice’s loss of childhood and panic attacks, 337–47
California licensure, 236–7
Capt. Jason Fuller’s anger and catatonic stat
e, 3–6, 257–66, 314–16
Carlos’s anxiety at college, 331–7
colonel’s family problems, 281–8
dissertation on survivors, 228–9, 233
Elise’s despair in a relationship, 325–30
Emma and eating disorder treatment, 239–51
establishment of private practice, 238
first patient in private practice, 181
Jun and Ling’s marriage problems, 316–24
mentors in, 233–7
need to establish new relationship with own trauma for success in, 239
older women’s experience of grief over mother, 289–91
parents after a child’s suicide, 348–54
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) treatment, 9, 174, 268
teaching career in El Paso, 214–15, 217, 222
Vietnam veterans in treatment, 233–5, 285, 296–7
William Beaumont Army Medical Center work and, 233–5, 236, 266
Eger, George, 129, 133, 171–2, 177, 184, 188
Eger, John “Johnny” (son)
birth of, 194
childhood of, 216, 219
college graduation of, 236
Edith’s support for, 199–200, 201, 202, 212
parents’ divorce and, 205, 214
Eger, Marianne (daughter), 232 arrival in New York City by, 167, 169–70
birth of, 141–2
childhood in Baltimore of, 175–6
family life in El Paso and, 189, 192, 193, 195, 198, 201
father’s arrest by Communists and, 150–1, 153–5
father’s escape from prison and train trip out of Czechoslovakia and, 155–9
Hanukkah party attendance by, 176
infancy pneumonia of, 144–6
marriage and family of, 232, 251
mother’s adult relationship with, 219, 232
mother’s early teaching relationship with, 152
mother’s later return to Auschwitz and, 293
mother’s survivor past and, 196–7, 200–1, 218–19
mother’s trip to Berchtesgaden and, 268–9
move to El Paso and, 188
naming of, 142–3
refuge stay in Vienna and, 159, 162, 164
sister’s birth and, 186
Eichmann, Adolf, 273
Elefánt, Ilona (mother)
advice on marriage from, 118
calling on memories of, during concentration camp experiences, 53, 55–6, 57, 59, 68–9, 80, 86, 90
daughters’ separation from, upon arrival at Auschwitz, 46, 47
decision not to flee Hungary by, 35–6
Edith’s childhood memories of, 14–16, 21, 22–3, 25, 29, 33–46, 80, 141, 192
Edith’s divorce and experiences of, 206
Edith’s immigration papers for America and thoughts about, 161, 163
Edith’s later life and memories of separation from, 231, 303–7
Edith’s later return to Auschwitz and memories of, 242, 303–7
German occupation of Hungary and, 26, 29
goodbye letter to Klara from, 42, 112–13
granddaughter named after, 186
Hungarian Jewish background of, 24–6
husband’s forced labor camp imprisonment and, 29–30
loss and death of, during war, 47, 48, 79, 83, 104, 141, 209, 272, 303–4
marriage of, 16, 206–7, 351
memory of last moment together, in line at Auschwitz, 13–14, 46, 79, 303–4
mother’s death during childhood of, 18, 271–2, 351, 353
portrait of mother of, 19, 68–9, 115, 353, 354
postwar recovery and memories of, 90, 97, 115, 127–8
practicality and hope of, 38, 141
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment and, 37–40, 97
train transport to Auschwitz and, 44
warning about Germany ignored by, 35–6
Elefánt, Klara (sister). See Korda, Klara
Elefánt, Lajos (father)
arrival at Auschwitz and, 45
calling on memories of, during concentration camp experiences, 50, 53, 56, 75, 86, 90
decision not to flee Hungary by, 35–6
Edith’s childhood memories of, 16–18, 21, 23, 26, 27, 30, 34–6
forced labor camp imprisonment of, 24–30
German occupation of Hungary and, 26, 29
goodbye letter to Klara from, 42, 112–13
Hungarian Jewish background of, 24–6
loss and death of, during war, 104 love of sweets by, 86, 90
Magda’s learning of tailoring skills from, 181
separation from children at Auschwitz, 45
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment and, 38, 39–40, 97
train transport to and arrival at
Auschwitz and, 44, 45
warning about Germany ignored by, 35–6
World War I service of, 27
Elefánt, Magda (sister), 174
attempted escape from train by, 66–7
attempt to steal potatoes by, 68–9
Auschwitz concentration camp experiences of, 48–51, 53–4, 56, 61, 62–3
bombing of ammunition factory and, 70–1, 141
as box car decoys on ammunition trains, 66–7
connection between Edith and, in concentration camps, 48–51, 53–4, 61–3, 64, 66–7, 67–8, 69, 70–1, 88, 90–1, 140, 141, 271
daughter of, 186, 354
Death March to Gunskirchen and, 83–4
decision to move to America by, 140–1, 147, 149
divorce of, 216
Edith’s arrival in New York City and, 187–8
Edith’s childhood memories of, 17, 18–19, 26, 33–4
Edith’s desire to be reunited with, in Baltimore, 181
Edith’s later return to Auschwitz and, 292
Edith’s recovery in Košice and, 116, 126
Edith’s stealing of carrots for, 72–4
Edith’s wedding and, 133
family’s use of identifying phrase for, 248
father’s forced labor camp imprisonment and, 29
forced march through Germany and, 69–70, 71–2, 77, 293
Gunskirchen concentration camp experiences of, 86, 87
Klara’s courtship and marriage and, 117–118, 126, 138
Klara’s proposed move to Australia and, 139–40
life in America and, 171, 181
marriage to Nat, 184–5, 186, 216
marriage to Ted, 216
Mauthausen concentration camp experiences of, 78, 81
nightmares of, 354
postwar physical recovery in Wels, Austria, home, 95–7, 98–9, 100, 101, 102–3
rebellion against soldiers and beating of, 77
rescue of, at Gunskirchen, 90–1
return to Košice and reunion with Klara, 110–12, 115, 116
revenge fantasies of, 71, 103, 275
soldiers’ removal of family from their apartment and, 37, 39, 40
thread factory work and, 65
train journey home after recovery, 104–8
train transport to Auschwitz and, 43–4
Ellis, Albert, 223, 224–6, 227
El Paso, Texas
daily family life rituals in, 197–8
Edith’s teaching career in, 214–5, 217, 222
Eger family’s move to, 188–90
Laci Gladstein (later Larry Goldstone)’s move to, 126, 140, 190
third child born in, 194
Engle, Lindsey, 251
Engle, Marianne. See Eger, Marianne
Engle, Rob, 232
Eric (childhood friend of Edith)
feeling of loss associated with later memories of, 201–2, 271
first romance with, 27–8, 29, 30, 38–9, 40, 41, 42, 45, 48–9, 80–1, 124–5, 147, 209
memories of, in concentration camps, 58, 61, 76–7, 80–1
postwar fantasies about reunion with, 104, 105, 107, 117, 118, 120, 126
family
anger at partner’s affairs in marriage and impact on, 261–3
eating disorder treatment of child and, 239–51
establishing constitution of rules in, 249–50
parents’ use of identifying phrases for children in, 247–8
Farson, Richard, 223, 229
flashback responses
Edith’s experience of, 174, 269, 313, 354
food as trigger for, 338
patient’s fear of, 338
as reaction to trauma, 174
forced march through Germany, 63–77
arrival at Mauthausen concentration camp during, 78
attempted escape with Magda from train during, 66–7
as box car decoys on ammunition trains, 66–7, 275
bombing of ammunition factory during, 70–1, 141
calling on memories of mother during, 68–9
connection between Edith and Magda during, 66–7, 70–1, 140, 141
crossing into Austria during, 76
death of prisoners during, 68
Edith’s later return to Auschwitz and memories of, 293
food fantasies and desires during, 65, 67, 69
Magda’s attempt to steal food during, 68–9
Magda’s rebellion against soldiers and beating during, 77
revenge fantasy during, 71
soldier’s gift of bread during, 75
stealing carrots for Magda during, 72–3
thread factory work at beginning of, 64–5
forgiveness
chaplains’ work with soldiers on, 274
Edith’s experience of, 279, 288, 305
grief and grieving and need for, 280
lost childhood of patient and, 337, 339–40, 341
of oneself, 280–1, 305, 309
rage and, 341
survivors and, 230
Frankl, Viktor, 202, 203–4, 208, 210–11, 213, 222, 223, 243, 313, 330
Freud, Sigmund, 42, 124
Gaby (doctor), 119–20, 120–1, 127
Gilbert, Magda. See Elefánt, Magda
Gilbert, Ted, 216
Gladstein, Laci (later Larry Goldstone), 107–8
Edith’s early friendship with, 107–8
Edith’s reunion with, 141–3
move to El Paso by, 126, 140, 190
talk with Edith about past, 279–80
Gone with the Wind (Mitchell), 14, 15, 322
grief and grieving
denial and, 137
Edith and Béla’s marriage and unfinished, 134
Edith’s experience of, 123, 251, 272, 291, 308, 353
Edith’s mother’s childhood loss of her mother and, 271–2
Edith’s mother’s death and, 48, 119–20
Edith’s return to Auschwitz as rite of, 291, 308
Eric’s death and, 120
failed marriages and, 316
forgiveness and, 280