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No More Mr. Nice Guy

Drac Von Stoller

No More Mr. Nice Guy

  Copyright 2013

  By: Drac Von Stoller

  Henry Bates had a very reclusive life, until one day the constant nagging from his wife made him snap, and things started dying. All Henry wanted was to enjoy his retirement like any normal hard working man, but his wife had other plans and retirement wasn't one of those.

  One day when Henry was relaxing by the fire, his wife Marjorie came up to him and said "Henry, I thought I told you to take out the trash, sweep the floor and clean out the attic. This isn't a hotel and just because you have retired I'm not going to watch you lay around while things need to be done."

  Marjorie went on and on for hours as Henry would get up from his recliner and do as she commanded, but as Henry tried to please his wife, the nagging still persisted.

  Henry said "That's it!"

  "That's what?" asked Marjorie.

  Henry shouted, "You'll see!”

  "Henry, get back here this instant," yelled Marjorie.

  Henry went into the garage and grabbed a shovel. As Marjorie was pointing her finger and calling him names, Henry swung the shovel, hitting her upside the head and Marjorie hit the floor. Henry knew if she got up off the floor she would have him arrested for assault and battery and attempted murder, so Henry said to himself, "What am I going to do?" as he was pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Henry decided to finish her off. So Henry gave Marjorie another hard whack upside the head. Then he knelt down to feel her pulse, but there was none. Henry said "I'm glad I finally stood up to that battle axe and put her in her place." Henry picked up his dead wife’s body and placed her in a chair in the attic and locked the door behind him. Henry was whistling as he was walking down the stairs back to his recliner to take a nap, as the warm fire calmed his nerves.

  As the night wore on Henry started hallucinating about his wife coming down from the attic and doing him in. Henry's blurry eyes opened and visions of his wife with a shovel in her hands coming at him ready to do him in. Henry immediately broke out in a cold sweat and jumped out of the recliner and ran up the stairs to see if his dead wife was in the attic slumped over in the chair. Sure enough Marjorie's dead body was slumped over in the chair and Henry started laughing and said "It was just a dream."

  Henry kissed his wife on the forehead and told her he would come back and check on her later and bring her something to eat. Henry told Marjorie that killing her was the best thing for their marriage.

  Then he said "Marjorie, this way we can be together forever and you won't have to nag at me about anything anymore. Should anyone try to take you away from me, they will be sorry."

  Henry exited the attic closing the door behind him forgetting to lock it in case any curious visitors should stop by because of the stench coming from inside his house. Even though Henry hated his wife's nagging, he still loved her very much. As the days wore on the terrifying dreams of his wife coming at him with a shovel only got worse and Henry could not distinguish between fantasy and reality. Henry wasn't getting much sleep and he was drinking excessively, trying wash away the death of his wife, but it was no use. Henry was a doomed man.

  Then a knock at the door put Henry in panic mode because if he let anyone in his house the stench would cause them to run out of his house and cause the police to pay him a visit and Henry didn't want that to happen. Henry thought to himself, “Who would take care of his dead wife in the attic?” So Henry had to think fast and come up with a plan, and being that Henry wasn't a smart man, the only thing that came to his mind would be to silence anyone that entered his home. Henry told the person at the door to wait just a minute and Henry went to the basement rummaging through his tool box and came across a hammer. Henry grabbed the hammer from the tool box and put it in the back of his pants and proceeded up the stairs to greet whoever was at his front door. Henry cautiously approached the front door ready to let in the doomed person.

  Henry opened the door and said "Aunt Claire, what brings you here?"

  "Henry, I was hoping I could stay at your place for a couple days before I head back home," asked Claire.

  Henry said "Sure thing."

  Claire entered and Henry closed the door behind her and took her suitcase and coat then showed her where she would be staying the next few days.

  Claire said "Henry, what's that smell?"

  "Oh, it's probably a dead rat in the attic. I'll take care of that real soon," exclaimed Henry.

  Thanks! I would greatly appreciate it," said Claire as she covered her nose entering her room.

  "Henry, "Where's Marjorie?"

  "She's out of town visiting some relatives and won't be back for a couple of weeks," explained Henry.

  "Well, Henry, I've had a long drive and would like to turn in for the night, said Aunt Claire, as she yawned.

  Henry said "I'll see you in the morning."

  Henry went to his recliner and fell asleep shortly after watching is favorite TV Show Unsolved Mysteries.

  About an hour later, Claire couldn't sleep because of the foul odor from the attic. Claire got out of bed and put her robe on to investigate the smell coming from the attic. Claire was about to get the shock of her life and should have left well enough alone, but Claire couldn't ignore the smell. The closer Claire got to the attic the more overwhelming the smell became. Henry woke from his sleep and noticed Aunt Claire’s door was ajar and decided to check on her. Henry flicked on the light switch in her room, but no sign of Claire. Then Henry ran to the attic and just as Henry entered the attic Claire was screaming. Henry realized he still had the hammer in the back of his pants.

  Claire said "What did you do to Marjorie?"

  Henry replied "You shouldn't have come up here. Now I'm going to have to kill you."

  Claire started screaming as the claw end of the hammer Henry was holding in his hand, came down splitting her skull. Henry didn't want his Aunt Claire to suffer so he gave her a couple more whacks. The last whack Henry gave Aunt Claire with the hammer it got stuck in her skull, so he just left the hammer where he struck her. Henry picked up his Aunt Claire's bloody body and placed her next to his wife’s body in a chair and said "Look, darling, I brought you someone to keep you company, Aunt Claire. I think you two will have a lot to talk about. Well, I've got to go to the hardware store and get a new hammer. I won't be long. Is there anything I can get you both?"

  As Henry drove off to the hardware store his next door neighbor wanted to find out what the screaming was all about. Henry just realized he had Claire's blood all over his shirt and turned his car around and headed back home to change his shirt. The nosy neighbor should have reported the screaming to the police, but instead decided to take it upon herself to make sure it wasn't just the television set. The neighbor called out to Henry, but there was no answer, and the neighbor said to herself, "What's that smell? I think it's coming from the attic."

  As Henry pulled in front of his house, he noticed the front door was wide open. Henry knew he had to act fast, so he went inside the garage to get his shovel. Just as Henry grabbed his shovel, he heard screaming coming from inside his house. Henry bolted through the door that leads from the garage to inside his house and the neighbor ran down from the attic stairs and just she reached the bottom step, Henry swung the shovel hitting her in the head. Henry swung the shovel so hard he halfway severed her head.

  Henry said "Why in the hell did you do that? Now look what happened."

  Henry picked up his neighbors body off the stairs and brought her upstairs to the attic to join his wife and Aunt Claire.

  Henry said "I wish everyone would leave me alone."

  Henry changed his shirt and got back in his car and decided this time he was going to buy a gun and shoot anyone that entered his home. As night
fall came, the nightmares were back again, as Henry was resting in his recliner. Every person Henry killed haunted him. He slept with his gun loaded by his side. The next morning, paranoid Henry jumped out of his recliner because of a knock on his door.

  Henry opened the door and said "Leave me alone! I'm trying to get some sleep.”

  Before the person had a chance to say anything Henry immediately shot the person at the door, only to find out it was just the mailman. Henry dragged his body inside his house to join the rest of the dead in the attic. After Henry placed the postman’s body next to the other bodies, he said "I think it's time for a drink." Henry got back in his car and drove to the liquor store to pick up a case of Jack Daniels to celebrate the killings. As Henry entered the liquor store, he pulled up his pants and said to the cashier "Man, life is good and if you don't mind I'm kind of in a hurry to get back home and celebrate with my friends."

  "What would you like sir?" asked the cashier.

  Henry answered with a big smile on his face, "I would like a case of Jack Daniels Black Label."

  The cashier said "Sure thing."

  Henry paid the cashier with money he stole out of his dead victim’s pockets.

  Henry told the cashier, "Have a nice day."

  Then he sped off down the road with the driver side window down and reached in the case of liquor and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels, unscrewed the top and took a big gulp. Henry honked his horn as he was speeding down the road to his house while swigging down his whiskey. As Henry pulled into his driveway it started raining and lightning. He pulled his car in the garage and grabbed the case of liquor, went into the kitchen to get some glasses for his dead friends in the attic. Henry was excited as he was walking up the stairs to the attic. He flung open the attic door in a drunken state and placed glasses in their hands and poured each one a drink. Henry raised his bottle of Jack Daniels in the air and toasted to his dead friends then said goodbye to them and went downstairs to his recliner and passed out.

  As the clock struck midnight, Henry's party days were about to come to a screeching halt because his dead friends were about to pay him a visit and this visit would not be a friendly one. Marjorie, Claire, the postman and the neighbor rose up off of their chairs and headed down the stairs calling Henry's name, saying they were coming to get him. Henry thought it was the same dream he had been having all along, so he just brushed it off as just another bad dream and fell back to sleep, but the voices were getting louder and louder chanting, "Henry we're going to kill you!"

  Finally, it was Henry's day to die and like any killer most don't want to die, but that's too bad they should have thought about it before they killed. Henry didn't stand a chance. All the dead wanted was to tear into his flesh like a bunch of wild animals. The dead gave it to him good first with a shovel to the head along with a bullet and a hammer to the chest as Henry begged for his life. Then, if that wasn't enough, they were hungry and finished him off by eating his brain and flesh.

  When morning arrived, a neighbor couldn't shake off the noises coming from Henry's house, so he called the police. When the police opened Henry's front door they could barely stomach the stench and as they entered the living room where Henry's recliner was, they were thrown back at the gruesome scene. There were four bodies lying next to Henry, and Henry was a bloody mess with his brain missing and chunks of flesh missing from his body like wild animal's had attacked him, but they would never find out what really happened to Henry. So the secret died along with Henry.