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    The Uncommercial Traveller

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      him up, and testify to the multitude that each of those points was

      a clincher.

      But, in respect of the large Christianity of his general tone; of

      his renunciation of all priestly authority; of his earnest and

      reiterated assurance to the people that the commonest among them

      could work out their own salvation if they would, by simply,

      lovingly, and dutifully following Our Saviour, and that they needed

      the mediation of no erring man; in these particulars, this

      gentleman deserved all praise. Nothing could be better than the

      spirit, or the plain emphatic words of his discourse in these

      respects. And it was a most significant and encouraging

      circumstance that whenever he struck that chord, or whenever he

      described anything which Christ himself had done, the array of

      faces before him was very much more earnest, and very much more

      expressive of emotion, than at any other time.

      And now, I am brought to the fact, that the lowest part of the

      audience of the previous night, WAS NOT THERE. There is no doubt

      about it. There was no such thing in that building, that Sunday

      evening. I have been told since, that the lowest part of the

      audience of the Victoria Theatre has been attracted to its Sunday

      services. I have been very glad to hear it, but on this occasion

      of which I write, the lowest part of the usual audience of the

      Britannia Theatre, decidedly and unquestionably stayed away. When

      I first took my seat and looked at the house, my surprise at the

      change in its occupants was as great as my disappointment. To the

      most respectable class of the previous evening, was added a great

      number of respectable strangers attracted by curiosity, and drafts

      from the regular congregations of various chapels. It was

      impossible to fail in identifying the character of these last, and

      they were very numerous. I came out in a strong, slow tide of them

      setting from the boxes. Indeed, while the discourse was in

      progress, the respectable character of the auditory was so manifest

      in their appearance, that when the minister addressed a

      supposititious 'outcast,' one really felt a little impatient of it,

      as a figure of speech not justified by anything the eye could

      discover.

      The time appointed for the conclusion of the proceedings was eight

      o'clock. The address having lasted until full that time, and it

      being the custom to conclude with a hymn, the preacher intimated in

      a few sensible words that the clock had struck the hour, and that

      those who desired to go before the hymn was sung, could go now,

      without giving offence. No one stirred. The hymn was then sung,

      in good time and tune and unison, and its effect was very striking.

      A comprehensive benevolent prayer dismissed the throng, and in

      seven or eight minutes there was nothing left in the Theatre but a

      light cloud of dust.

      That these Sunday meetings in Theatres are good things, I do not

      doubt. Nor do I doubt that they will work lower and lower down in

      the social scale, if those who preside over them will be very

      careful on two heads: firstly, not to disparage the places in

      which they speak, or the intelligence of their hearers; secondly,

      not to set themselves in antagonism to the natural inborn desire of

      the mass of mankind to recreate themselves and to be amused.

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      There is a third head, taking precedence of all others, to which my

      remarks on the discourse I heard, have tended. In the New

      Testament there is the most beautiful and affecting history

      conceivable by man, and there are the terse models for all prayer

      and for all preaching. As to the models, imitate them, Sunday

      preachers - else why are they there, consider? As to the history,

      tell it. Some people cannot read, some people will not read, many

      people (this especially holds among the young and ignorant) find it

      hard to pursue the verse-form in which the book is presented to

      them, and imagine that those breaks imply gaps and want of

      continuity. Help them over that first stumbling-block, by setting

      forth the history in narrative, with no fear of exhausting it. You

      will never preach so well, you will never move them so profoundly,

      you will never send them away with half so much to think of. Which

      is the better interest: Christ's choice of twelve poor men to help

      in those merciful wonders among the poor and rejected; or the pious

      bullying of a whole Union-full of paupers? What is your changed

      philosopher to wretched me, peeping in at the door out of the mud

      of the streets and of my life, when you have the widow's son to

      tell me about, the ruler's daughter, the other figure at the door

      when the brother of the two sisters was dead, and one of the two

      ran to the mourner, crying, 'The Master is come and calleth for

      thee'? - Let the preacher who will thoroughly forget himself and

      remember no individuality but one, and no eloquence but one, stand

      up before four thousand men and women at the Britannia Theatre any

      Sunday night, recounting that narrative to them as fellow

      creatures, and he shall see a sight!

      CHAPTER V - POOR MERCANTILE JACK

      Is the sweet little cherub who sits smiling aloft and keeps watch

      on life of poor Jack, commissioned to take charge of Mercantile

      Jack, as well as Jack of the national navy? If not, who is? What

      is the cherub about, and what are we all about, when poor

      Mercantile Jack is having his brains slowly knocked out by pennyweights,

      aboard the brig Beelzebub, or the barque Bowie-knife -

      when he looks his last at that infernal craft, with the first

      officer's iron boot-heel in his remaining eye, or with his dying

      body towed overboard in the ship's wake, while the cruel wounds in

      it do 'the multitudinous seas incarnadine'?

      Is it unreasonable to entertain a belief that if, aboard the brig

      Beelzebub or the barque Bowie-knife, the first officer did half the

      damage to cotton that he does to men, there would presently arise

      from both sides of the Atlantic so vociferous an invocation of the

      sweet little cherub who sits calculating aloft, keeping watch on

      the markets that pay, that such vigilant cherub would, with a

      winged sword, have that gallant officer's organ of destructiveness

      out of his head in the space of a flash of lightning?

      If it be unreasonable, then am I the most unreasonable of men, for

      I believe it with all my soul.

      This was my thought as I walked the dock-quays at Liverpool,

      keeping watch on poor Mercantile Jack. Alas for me! I have long

      outgrown the state of sweet little cherub; but there I was, and

      there Mercantile Jack was, and very busy he was, and very cold he

      was: the snow yet lying in the frozen furrows of the land, and the

      north-east winds snipping off the tops of the little waves in the

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      Mersey, and rolling them into hailstones to pelt him with.

      Mercantile Jack was hard at it, in the hard weather: as he mostly


      is in all weathers, poor Jack. He was girded to ships' masts and

      funnels of steamers, like a forester to a great oak, scraping and

      painting; he was lying out on yards, furling sails that tried to

      beat him off; he was dimly discernible up in a world of giant

      cobwebs, reefing and splicing; he was faintly audible down in

      holds, stowing and unshipping cargo; he was winding round and round

      at capstans melodious, monotonous, and drunk; he was of a

      diabolical aspect, with coaling for the Antipodes; he was washing

      decks barefoot, with the breast of his red shirt open to the blast,

      though it was sharper than the knife in his leathern girdle; he was

      looking over bulwarks, all eyes and hair; he was standing by at the

      shoot of the Cunard steamer, off to-morrow, as the stocks in trade

      of several butchers, poulterers, and fishmongers, poured down into

      the ice-house; he was coming aboard of other vessels, with his kit

      in a tarpaulin bag, attended by plunderers to the very last moment

      of his shore-going existence. As though his senses, when released

      from the uproar of the elements, were under obligation to be

      confused by other turmoil, there was a rattling of wheels, a

      clattering of hoofs, a clashing of iron, a jolting of cotton and

      hides and casks and timber, an incessant deafening disturbance on

      the quays, that was the very madness of sound. And as, in the

      midst of it, he stood swaying about, with his hair blown all manner

      of wild ways, rather crazedly taking leave of his plunderers, all

      the rigging in the docks was shrill in the wind, and every little

      steamer coming and going across the Mersey was sharp in its blowing

      off, and every buoy in the river bobbed spitefully up and down, as

      if there were a general taunting chorus of 'Come along, Mercantile

      Jack! Ill-lodged, ill-fed, ill-used, hocussed, entrapped,

      anticipated, cleaned out. Come along, Poor Mercantile Jack, and be

      tempest-tossed till you are drowned!'

      The uncommercial transaction which had brought me and Jack

      together, was this:- I had entered the Liverpool police force, that

      I might have a look at the various unlawful traps which are every

      night set for Jack. As my term of service in that distinguished

      corps was short, and as my personal bias in the capacity of one of

      its members has ceased, no suspicion will attach to my evidence

      that it is an admirable force. Besides that it is composed,

      without favour, of the best men that can be picked, it is directed

      by an unusual intelligence. Its organisation against Fires, I take

      to be much better than the metropolitan system, and in all respects

      it tempers its remarkable vigilance with a still more remarkable

      discretion.

      Jack had knocked off work in the docks some hours, and I had taken,

      for purposes of identification, a photograph-likeness of a thief,

      in the portrait-room at our head police office (on the whole, he

      seemed rather complimented by the proceeding), and I had been on

      police parade, and the small hand of the clock was moving on to

      ten, when I took up my lantern to follow Mr. Superintendent to the

      traps that were set for Jack. In Mr. Superintendent I saw, as

      anybody might, a tall, well-looking, well-set-up man of a soldierly

      bearing, with a cavalry air, a good chest, and a resolute but not

      by any means ungentle face. He carried in his hand a plain black

      walking-stick of hard wood; and whenever and wherever, at any

      after-time of the night, he struck it on the pavement with a

      ringing sound, it instantly produced a whistle out of the darkness,

      and a policeman. To this remarkable stick, I refer an air of

      mystery and magic which pervaded the whole of my perquisition among

      the traps that were set for Jack.

      We began by diving into the obscurest streets and lanes of the

      Page 26

      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      port. Suddenly pausing in a flow of cheerful discourse, before a

      dead wall, apparently some ten miles long, Mr. Superintendent

      struck upon the ground, and the wall opened and shot out, with

      military salute of hand to temple, two policemen - not in the least

      surprised themselves, not in the least surprising Mr.

      Superintendent.

      'All right, Sharpeye?'

      'All right, sir.'

      'All right, Trampfoot?'

      'All right, sir.'

      'Is Quickear there?'

      'Here am I, sir.'

      'Come with us.'

      'Yes, sir.'

      So, Sharpeye went before, and Mr. Superintendent and I went next,

      and Trampfoot and Quickear marched as rear-guard. Sharp-eye, I

      soon had occasion to remark, had a skilful and quite professional

      way of opening doors - touched latches delicately, as if they were

      keys of musical instruments - opened every door he touched, as if

      he were perfectly confident that there was stolen property behind

      it - instantly insinuated himself, to prevent its being shut.

      Sharpeye opened several doors of traps that were set for Jack, but

      Jack did not happen to be in any of them. They were all such

      miserable places that really, Jack, if I were you, I would give

      them a wider berth. In every trap, somebody was sitting over a

      fire, waiting for Jack. Now, it was a crouching old woman, like

      the picture of the Norwood Gipsy in the old sixpenny dream-books;

      now, it was a crimp of the male sex, in a checked shirt and without

      a coat, reading a newspaper; now, it was a man crimp and a woman

      crimp, who always introduced themselves as united in holy

      matrimony; now, it was Jack's delight, his (un)lovely Nan; but they

      were all waiting for Jack, and were all frightfully disappointed to

      see us.

      'Who have you got up-stairs here?' says Sharpeye, generally. (In

      the Move-on tone.)

      'Nobody, surr; sure not a blessed sowl!' (Irish feminine reply.)

      'What do you mean by nobody? Didn't I hear a woman's step go upstairs

      when my hand was on the latch?'

      'Ah! sure thin you're right, surr, I forgot her! 'Tis on'y Betsy

      White, surr. Ah! you know Betsy, surr. Come down, Betsy darlin',

      and say the gintlemin.'

      Generally, Betsy looks over the banisters (the steep staircase is

      in the room) with a forcible expression in her protesting face, of

      an intention to compensate herself for the present trial by

      grinding Jack finer than usual when he does come. Generally,

      Sharpeye turns to Mr. Superintendent, and says, as if the subjects

      of his remarks were wax-work:

      'One of the worst, sir, this house is. This woman has been

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      indicted three times. This man's a regular bad one likewise. His

      real name is Pegg. Gives himself out as Waterhouse.'

      'Never had sitch a name as Pegg near me back, thin, since I was in

      this house, bee the good Lard!' says the woman.

      Generally, the man says nothing at all, but becomes exceedingly

      round-shouldered, and pretends to read his paper with rapt

      attention. Generally, Sharpeye directs our observation with a

      look, to the prints and
    pictures that are invariably numerous on

      the walls. Always, Trampfoot and Quickear are taking notice on the

      doorstep. In default of Sharpeye being acquainted with the exact

      individuality of any gentleman encountered, one of these two is

      sure to proclaim from the outer air, like a gruff spectre, that

      Jackson is not Jackson, but knows himself to be Fogle; or that

      Canlon is Walker's brother, against whom there was not sufficient

      evidence; or that the man who says he never was at sea since he was

      a boy, came ashore from a voyage last Thursday, or sails tomorrow

      morning. 'And that is a bad class of man, you see,' says Mr.

      Superintendent, when he got out into the dark again, 'and very

      difficult to deal with, who, when he has made this place too hot to

      hold him, enters himself for a voyage as steward or cook, and is

      out of knowledge for months, and then turns up again worse than

      ever.'

      When we had gone into many such houses, and had come out (always

      leaving everybody relapsing into waiting for Jack), we started off

      to a singing-house where Jack was expected to muster strong.

      The vocalisation was taking place in a long low room up-stairs; at

      one end, an orchestra of two performers, and a small platform;

      across the room, a series of open pews for Jack, with an aisle down

      the middle; at the other end a larger pew than the rest, entitled

      SNUG, and reserved for mates and similar good company. About the

      room, some amazing coffee-coloured pictures varnished an inch deep,

      and some stuffed creatures in cases; dotted among the audience, in

      Sung and out of Snug, the 'Professionals;' among them, the

      celebrated comic favourite Mr. Banjo Bones, looking very hideous

      with his blackened face and limp sugar-loaf hat; beside him,

      sipping rum-and-water, Mrs. Banjo Bones, in her natural colours - a

      little heightened.

      It was a Friday night, and Friday night was considered not a good

      night for Jack. At any rate, Jack did not show in very great force

      even here, though the house was one to which he much resorts, and

      where a good deal of money is taken. There was British Jack, a

      little maudlin and sleepy, lolling over his empty glass, as if he

      were trying to read his fortune at the bottom; there was Loafing

      Jack of the Stars and Stripes, rather an unpromising customer, with

      his long nose, lank cheek, high cheek-bones, and nothing soft about

      him but his cabbage-leaf hat; there was Spanish Jack, with curls of

     


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