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    The Uncommercial Traveller

    Page 5
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      - amounting that evening, as I calculated, to about two thousand

      and odd hundreds. Magnificently lighted by a firmament of

      sparkling chandeliers, the building was ventilated to perfection.

      Page 19

      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      My sense of smell, without being particularly delicate, has been so

      offended in some of the commoner places of public resort, that I

      have often been obliged to leave them when I have made an

      uncommercial journey expressly to look on. The air of this Theatre

      was fresh, cool, and wholesome. To help towards this end, very

      sensible precautions had been used, ingeniously combining the

      experience of hospitals and railway stations. Asphalt pavements

      substituted for wooden floors, honest bare walls of glazed brick

      and tile - even at the back of the boxes - for plaster and paper,

      no benches stuffed, and no carpeting or baize used; a cool material

      with a light glazed surface, being the covering of the seats.

      These various contrivances are as well considered in the place in

      question as if it were a Fever Hospital; the result is, that it is

      sweet and healthful. It has been constructed from the ground to

      the roof, with a careful reference to sight and sound in every

      corner; the result is, that its form is beautiful, and that the

      appearance of the audience, as seen from the proscenium - with

      every face in it commanding the stage, and the whole so admirably

      raked and turned to that centre, that a hand can scarcely move in

      the great assemblage without the movement being seen from thence -

      is highly remarkable in its union of vastness with compactness.

      The stage itself, and all its appurtenances of machinery,

      cellarage, height and breadth, are on a scale more like the Scala

      at Milan, or the San Carlo at Naples, or the Grand Opera at Paris,

      than any notion a stranger would be likely to form of the Britannia

      Theatre at Hoxton, a mile north of St. Luke's Hospital in the Oldstreet-

      road, London. The Forty Thieves might be played here, and

      every thief ride his real horse, and the disguised captain bring in

      his oil jars on a train of real camels, and nobody be put out of

      the way. This really extraordinary place is the achievement of one

      man's enterprise, and was erected on the ruins of an inconvenient

      old building in less than five months, at a round cost of five-andtwenty

      thousand pounds. To dismiss this part of my subject, and

      still to render to the proprietor the credit that is strictly his

      due, I must add that his sense of the responsibility upon him to

      make the best of his audience, and to do his best for them, is a

      highly agreeable sign of these times.

      As the spectators at this theatre, for a reason I will presently

      show, were the object of my journey, I entered on the play of the

      night as one of the two thousand and odd hundreds, by looking about

      me at my neighbours. We were a motley assemblage of people, and we

      had a good many boys and young men among us; we had also many girls

      and young women. To represent, however, that we did not include a

      very great number, and a very fair proportion of family groups,

      would be to make a gross mis-statement. Such groups were to be

      seen in all parts of the house; in the boxes and stalls

      particularly, they were composed of persons of very decent

      appearance, who had many children with them. Among our dresses

      there were most kinds of shabby and greasy wear, and much fustian

      and corduroy that was neither sound nor fragrant. The caps of our

      young men were mostly of a limp character, and we who wore them,

      slouched, high-shouldered, into our places with our hands in our

      pockets, and occasionally twisted our cravats about our necks like

      eels, and occasionally tied them down our breasts like links of

      sausages, and occasionally had a screw in our hair over each cheekbone

      with a slight Thief-flavour in it. Besides prowlers and

      idlers, we were mechanics, dock-labourers, costermongers, petty

      tradesmen, small clerks, milliners, stay-makers, shoe-binders,

      slop-workers, poor workers in a hundred highways and byways. Many

      of us - on the whole, the majority - were not at all clean, and not

      at all choice in our lives or conversation. But we had all come

      together in a place where our convenience was well consulted, and

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      where we were well looked after, to enjoy an evening's

      entertainment in common. We were not going to lose any part of

      what we had paid for through anybody's caprice, and as a community

      we had a character to lose. So, we were closely attentive, and

      kept excellent order; and let the man or boy who did otherwise

      instantly get out from this place, or we would put him out with the

      greatest expedition.

      We began at half-past six with a pantomime - with a pantomime so

      long, that before it was over I felt as if I had been travelling

      for six weeks - going to India, say, by the Overland Mail. The

      Spirit of Liberty was the principal personage in the Introduction,

      and the Four Quarters of the World came out of the globe,

      glittering, and discoursed with the Spirit, who sang charmingly.

      We were delighted to understand that there was no liberty anywhere

      but among ourselves, and we highly applauded the agreeable fact.

      In an allegorical way, which did as well as any other way, we and

      the Spirit of Liberty got into a kingdom of Needles and Pins, and

      found them at war with a potentate who called in to his aid their

      old arch enemy Rust, and who would have got the better of them if

      the Spirit of Liberty had not in the nick of time transformed the

      leaders into Clown, Pantaloon, Harlequin, Columbine, Harlequina,

      and a whole family of Sprites, consisting of a remarkably stout

      father and three spineless sons. We all knew what was coming when

      the Spirit of Liberty addressed the king with a big face, and His

      Majesty backed to the side-scenes and began untying himself behind,

      with his big face all on one side. Our excitement at that crisis

      was great, and our delight unbounded. After this era in our

      existence, we went through all the incidents of a pantomime; it was

      not by any means a savage pantomime, in the way of burning or

      boiling people, or throwing them out of window, or cutting them up;

      was often very droll; was always liberally got up, and cleverly

      presented. I noticed that the people who kept the shops, and who

      represented the passengers in the thoroughfares, and so forth, had

      no conventionality in them, but were unusually like the real thing

      - from which I infer that you may take that audience in (if you

      wish to) concerning Knights and Ladies, Fairies, Angels, or such

      like, but they are not to be done as to anything in the streets. I

      noticed, also, that when two young men, dressed in exact imitation

      of the eel-and-sausage-cravated portion of the audience, were

      chased by policemen, and, finding themselves in danger of being

      caught, dropped so suddenly as to oblige the policemen to tumble


      over them, there was great rejoicing among the caps - as though it

      were a delicate reference to something they had heard of before.

      The Pantomime was succeeded by a Melo-Drama. Throughout the

      evening I was pleased to observe Virtue quite as triumphant as she

      usually is out of doors, and indeed I thought rather more so. We

      all agreed (for the time) that honesty was the best policy, and we

      were as hard as iron upon Vice, and we wouldn't hear of Villainy

      getting on in the world - no, not on any consideration whatever.

      Between the pieces, we almost all of us went out and refreshed.

      Many of us went the length of drinking beer at the bar of the

      neighbouring public-house, some of us drank spirits, crowds of us

      had sandwiches and ginger-beer at the refreshment-bars established

      for us in the Theatre. The sandwich - as substantial as was

      consistent with portability, and as cheap as possible - we hailed

      as one of our greatest institutions. It forced its way among us at

      all stages of the entertainment, and we were always delighted to

      see it; its adaptability to the varying moods of our nature was

      surprising; we could never weep so comfortably as when our tears

      fell on our sandwich; we could never laugh so heartily as when we

      choked with sandwich; Virtue never looked so beautiful or Vice so

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      deformed as when we paused, sandwich in hand, to consider what

      would come of that resolution of Wickedness in boots, to sever

      Innocence in flowered chintz from Honest Industry in striped

      stockings. When the curtain fell for the night, we still fell back

      upon sandwich, to help us through the rain and mire, and home to

      bed.

      This, as I have mentioned, was Saturday night. Being Saturday

      night, I had accomplished but the half of my uncommercial journey;

      for, its object was to compare the play on Saturday evening with

      the preaching in the same Theatre on Sunday evening.

      Therefore, at the same hour of half-past six on the similarly damp

      and muddy Sunday evening, I returned to this Theatre. I drove up

      to the entrance (fearful of being late, or I should have come on

      foot), and found myself in a large crowd of people who, I am happy

      to state, were put into excellent spirits by my arrival. Having

      nothing to look at but the mud and the closed doors, they looked at

      me, and highly enjoyed the comic spectacle. My modesty inducing me

      to draw off, some hundreds of yards, into a dark corner, they at

      once forgot me, and applied themselves to their former occupation

      of looking at the mud and looking in at the closed doors: which,

      being of grated ironwork, allowed the lighted passage within to be

      seen. They were chiefly people of respectable appearance, odd and

      impulsive as most crowds are, and making a joke of being there as

      most crowds do.

      In the dark corner I might have sat a long while, but that a very

      obliging passer-by informed me that the Theatre was already full,

      and that the people whom I saw in the street were all shut out for

      want of room. After that, I lost no time in worming myself into

      the building, and creeping to a place in a Proscenium box that had

      been kept for me.

      There must have been full four thousand people present. Carefully

      estimating the pit alone, I could bring it out as holding little

      less than fourteen hundred. Every part of the house was well

      filled, and I had not found it easy to make my way along the back

      of the boxes to where I sat. The chandeliers in the ceiling were

      lighted; there was no light on the stage; the orchestra was empty.

      The green curtain was down, and, packed pretty closely on chairs on

      the small space of stage before it, were some thirty gentlemen, and

      two or three ladies. In the centre of these, in a desk or pulpit

      covered with red baize, was the presiding minister. The kind of

      rostrum he occupied will be very well understood, if I liken it to

      a boarded-up fireplace turned towards the audience, with a

      gentleman in a black surtout standing in the stove and leaning

      forward over the mantelpiece.

      A portion of Scripture was being read when I went in. It was

      followed by a discourse, to which the congregation listened with

      most exemplary attention and uninterrupted silence and decorum. My

      own attention comprehended both the auditory and the speaker, and

      shall turn to both in this recalling of the scene, exactly as it

      did at the time.

      'A very difficult thing,' I thought, when the discourse began, 'to

      speak appropriately to so large an audience, and to speak with

      tact. Without it, better not to speak at all. Infinitely better,

      to read the New Testament well, and to let THAT speak. In this

      congregation there is indubitably one pulse; but I doubt if any

      power short of genius can touch it as one, and make it answer as

      one.'

      Page 22

      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      I could not possibly say to myself as the discourse proceeded, that

      the minister was a good speaker. I could not possibly say to

      myself that he expressed an understanding of the general mind and

      character of his audience. There was a supposititious working-man

      introduced into the homily, to make supposititious objections to

      our Christian religion and be reasoned down, who was not only a

      very disagreeable person, but remarkably unlike life - very much

      more unlike it than anything I had seen in the pantomime. The

      native independence of character this artisan was supposed to

      possess, was represented by a suggestion of a dialect that I

      certainly never heard in my uncommercial travels, and with a coarse

      swing of voice and manner anything but agreeable to his feelings, I

      should conceive, considered in the light of a portrait, and as far

      away from the fact as a Chinese Tartar. There was a model pauper

      introduced in like manner, who appeared to me to be the most

      intolerably arrogant pauper ever relieved, and to show himself in

      absolute want and dire necessity of a course of Stone Yard. For,

      how did this pauper testify to his having received the gospel of

      humility? A gentleman met him in the workhouse, and said (which I

      myself really thought good-natured of him), 'Ah, John? I am sorry

      to see you here. I am sorry to see you so poor.' 'Poor, sir!'

      replied that man, drawing himself up, 'I am the son of a Prince!

      MY father is the King of Kings. MY father is the Lord of Lords.

      MY father is the ruler of all the Princes of the Earth!' &c. And

      this was what all the preacher's fellow-sinners might come to, if

      they would embrace this blessed book - which I must say it did some

      violence to my own feelings of reverence, to see held out at arm's

      length at frequent intervals and soundingly slapped, like a slow

      lot at a sale. Now, could I help asking myself the question,

      whether the mechanic before me, who must detect the preacher as

      being wrong about the visible manner of himself and the like of

      himself, and about such a noisy lip-serve
    r as that pauper, might

      not, most unhappily for the usefulness of the occasion, doubt that

      preacher's being right about things not visible to human senses?

      Again. Is it necessary or advisable to address such an audience

      continually as 'fellow-sinners'? Is it not enough to be fellowcreatures,

      born yesterday, suffering and striving to-day, dying tomorrow?

      By our common humanity, my brothers and sisters, by our

      common capacities for pain and pleasure, by our common laughter and

      our common tears, by our common aspiration to reach something

      better than ourselves, by our common tendency to believe in

      something good, and to invest whatever we love or whatever we lose

      with some qualities that are superior to our own failings and

      weaknesses as we know them in our own poor hearts - by these, Hear

      me! - Surely, it is enough to be fellow-creatures. Surely, it

      includes the other designation, and some touching meanings over and

      above.

      Again. There was a personage introduced into the discourse (not an

      absolute novelty, to the best of my remembrance of my reading), who

      had been personally known to the preacher, and had been quite a

      Crichton in all the ways of philosophy, but had been an infidel.

      Many a time had the preacher talked with him on that subject, and

      many a time had he failed to convince that intelligent man. But he

      fell ill, and died, and before he died he recorded his conversion -

      in words which the preacher had taken down, my fellow-sinners, and

      would read to you from this piece of paper. I must confess that to

      me, as one of an uninstructed audience, they did not appear

      particularly edifying. I thought their tone extremely selfish, and

      I thought they had a spiritual vanity in them which was of the

      before-mentioned refractory pauper's family.

      All slangs and twangs are objectionable everywhere, but the slang

      Page 23

      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      and twang of the conventicle - as bad in its way as that of the

      House of Commons, and nothing worse can be said of it - should be

      studiously avoided under such circumstances as I describe. The

      avoidance was not complete on this occasion. Nor was it quite

      agreeable to see the preacher addressing his pet 'points' to his

      backers on the stage, as if appealing to those disciples to show

     


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