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    The Uncommercial Traveller

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      box of blankets which I knew contained the snakes, were set forth

      the cups and saucers and the teapot. It was on an evening in

      August, that I chanced upon this ravishing spectacle, and I noticed

      that, whereas the Giant reclined half concealed beneath the

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      overhanging boughs and seemed indifferent to Nature, the white hair

      of the gracious Lady streamed free in the breath of evening, and

      her pink eyes found pleasure in the landscape. I heard only a

      single sentence of her uttering, yet it bespoke a talent for modest

      repartee. The ill-mannered Giant - accursed be his evil race! -

      had interrupted the Lady in some remark, and, as I passed that

      enchanted corner of the wood, she gently reproved him, with the

      words, 'Now, Cobby;' - Cobby! so short a name! - 'ain't one fool

      enough to talk at a time?'

      Within appropriate distance of this magic ground, though not so

      near it as that the song trolled from tap or bench at door, can

      invade its woodland silence, is a little hostelry which no man

      possessed of a penny was ever known to pass in warm weather.

      Before its entrance, are certain pleasant, trimmed limes; likewise,

      a cool well, with so musical a bucket-handle that its fall upon the

      bucket rim will make a horse prick up his ears and neigh, upon the

      droughty road half a mile off. This is a house of great resort for

      haymaking tramps and harvest tramps, insomuch that as they sit

      within, drinking their mugs of beer, their relinquished scythes and

      reaping-hooks glare out of the open windows, as if the whole

      establishment were a family war-coach of Ancient Britons. Later in

      the season, the whole country-side, for miles and miles, will swarm

      with hopping tramps. They come in families, men, women, and

      children, every family provided with a bundle of bedding, an iron

      pot, a number of babies, and too often with some poor sick creature

      quite unfit for the rough life, for whom they suppose the smell of

      the fresh hop to be a sovereign remedy. Many of these hoppers are

      Irish, but many come from London. They crowd all the roads, and

      camp under all the hedges and on all the scraps of common-land, and

      live among and upon the hops until they are all picked, and the

      hop-gardens, so beautiful through the summer, look as if they had

      been laid waste by an invading army. Then, there is a vast exodus

      of tramps out of the country; and if you ride or drive round any

      turn of any road, at more than a foot pace, you will be bewildered

      to find that you have charged into the bosom of fifty families, and

      that there are splashing up all around you, in the utmost

      prodigality of confusion, bundles of bedding, babies, iron pots,

      and a good-humoured multitude of both sexes and all ages, equally

      divided between perspiration and intoxication.

      CHAPTER XII - DULLBOROUGH TOWN

      It lately happened that I found myself rambling about the scenes

      among which my earliest days were passed; scenes from which I

      departed when I was a child, and which I did not revisit until I

      was a man. This is no uncommon chance, but one that befalls some

      of us any day; perhaps it may not be quite uninteresting to compare

      notes with the reader respecting an experience so familiar and a

      journey so uncommercial.

      I call my boyhood's home (and I feel like a Tenor in an English

      Opera when I mention it) Dullborough. Most of us come from

      Dullborough who come from a country town.

      As I left Dullborough in the days when there were no railroads in

      the land, I left it in a stage-coach. Through all the years that

      have since passed, have I ever lost the smell of the damp straw in

      which I was packed - like game - and forwarded, carriage paid, to

      the Cross Keys, Wood-street, Cheapside, London? There was no other

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      inside passenger, and I consumed my sandwiches in solitude and

      dreariness, and it rained hard all the way, and I thought life

      sloppier than I had expected to find it.

      With this tender remembrance upon me, I was cavalierly shunted back

      into Dullborough the other day, by train. My ticket had been

      previously collected, like my taxes, and my shining new portmanteau

      had had a great plaster stuck upon it, and I had been defied by Act

      of Parliament to offer an objection to anything that was done to

      it, or me, under a penalty of not less than forty shillings or more

      than five pounds, compoundable for a term of imprisonment. When I

      had sent my disfigured property on to the hotel, I began to look

      about me; and the first discovery I made, was, that the Station had

      swallowed up the playing-field.

      It was gone. The two beautiful hawthorn-trees, the hedge, the

      turf, and all those buttercups and daisies, had given place to the

      stoniest of jolting roads: while, beyond the Station, an ugly dark

      monster of a tunnel kept its jaws open, as if it had swallowed them

      and were ravenous for more destruction. The coach that had carried

      me away, was melodiously called Timpson's Blue-Eyed Maid, and

      belonged to Timpson, at the coach-office up-street; the locomotive

      engine that had brought me back, was called severely No. 97, and

      belonged to S.E.R., and was spitting ashes and hot water over the

      blighted ground.

      When I had been let out at the platform-door, like a prisoner whom

      his turnkey grudgingly released, I looked in again over the low

      wall, at the scene of departed glories. Here, in the haymaking

      time, had I been delivered from the dungeons of Seringapatam, an

      immense pile (of haycock), by my own countrymen, the victorious

      British (boy next door and his two cousins), and had been

      recognised with ecstasy by my affianced one (Miss Green), who had

      come all the way from England (second house in the terrace) to

      ransom me, and marry me. Here, had I first heard in confidence,

      from one whose father was greatly connected, being under

      Government, of the existence of a terrible banditti, called 'The

      Radicals,' whose principles were, that the Prince Regent wore

      stays, and that nobody had a right to any salary, and that the army

      and navy ought to be put down - horrors at which I trembled in my

      bed, after supplicating that the Radicals might be speedily taken

      and hanged. Here, too, had we, the small boys of Boles's, had that

      cricket match against the small boys of Coles's, when Boles and

      Coles had actually met upon the ground, and when, instead of

      instantly hitting out at one another with the utmost fury, as we

      had all hoped and expected, those sneaks had said respectively, 'I

      hope Mrs. Boles is well,' and 'I hope Mrs. Coles and the baby are

      doing charmingly.' Could it be that, after all this, and much

      more, the Playing-field was a Station, and No. 97 expectorated

      boiling water and redhot cinders on it, and the whole belonged by

      Act of Parliament to S.E.R.?

      As it could be, and was, I left the place with a heavy heart for a

      walk all over the town
    . And first of Timpson's up-street. When I

      departed from Dullborough in the strawy arms of Timpson's Blue-Eyed

      Maid, Timpson's was a moderate-sized coach-office (in fact, a

      little coach-office), with an oval transparency in the window,

      which looked beautiful by night, representing one of Timpson's

      coaches in the act of passing a milestone on the London road with

      great velocity, completely full inside and out, and all the

      passengers dressed in the first style of fashion, and enjoying

      themselves tremendously. I found no such place as Timpson's now -

      no such bricks and rafters, not to mention the name - no such

      edifice on the teeming earth. Pickford had come and knocked

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      Timpson's down. Pickford had not only knocked Timpson's down, but

      had knocked two or three houses down on each side of Timpson's, and

      then had knocked the whole into one great establishment with a pair

      of big gates, in and out of which, his (Pickford's) waggons are, in

      these days, always rattling, with their drivers sitting up so high,

      that they look in at the second-floor windows of the old-fashioned

      houses in the High-street as they shake the town. I have not the

      honour of Pickford's acquaintance, but I felt that he had done me

      an injury, not to say committed an act of boyslaughter, in running

      over my Childhood in this rough manner; and if ever I meet Pickford

      driving one of his own monsters, and smoking a pipe the while

      (which is the custom of his men), he shall know by the expression

      of my eye, if it catches his, that there is something wrong between

      us.

      Moreover, I felt that Pickford had no right to come rushing into

      Dullborough and deprive the town of a public picture. He is not

      Napoleon Bonaparte. When he took down the transparent stage-coach,

      he ought to have given the town a transparent van. With a gloomy

      conviction that Pickford is wholly utilitarian and unimaginative, I

      proceeded on my way.

      It is a mercy I have not a red and green lamp and a night-bell at

      my door, for in my very young days I was taken to so many lyings-in

      that I wonder I escaped becoming a professional martyr to them in

      after-life. I suppose I had a very sympathetic nurse, with a large

      circle of married acquaintance. However that was, as I continued

      my walk through Dullborough, I found many houses to be solely

      associated in my mind with this particular interest. At one little

      greengrocer's shop, down certain steps from the street, I remember

      to have waited on a lady who had had four children (I am afraid to

      write five, though I fully believe it was five) at a birth. This

      meritorious woman held quite a reception in her room on the morning

      when I was introduced there, and the sight of the house brought

      vividly to my mind how the four (five) deceased young people lay,

      side by side, on a clean cloth on a chest of drawers; reminding me

      by a homely association, which I suspect their complexion to have

      assisted, of pigs' feet as they are usually displayed at a neat

      tripe-shop. Hot candle was handed round on the occasion, and I

      further remembered as I stood contemplating the greengrocer's, that

      a subscription was entered into among the company, which became

      extremely alarming to my consciousness of having pocket-money on my

      person. This fact being known to my conductress, whoever she was,

      I was earnestly exhorted to contribute, but resolutely declined:

      therein disgusting the company, who gave me to understand that I

      must dismiss all expectations of going to Heaven.

      How does it happen that when all else is change wherever one goes,

      there yet seem, in every place, to be some few people who never

      alter? As the sight of the greengrocer's house recalled these

      trivial incidents of long ago, the identical greengrocer appeared

      on the steps, with his hands in his pockets, and leaning his

      shoulder against the door-post, as my childish eyes had seen him

      many a time; indeed, there was his old mark on the door-post yet,

      as if his shadow had become a fixture there. It was he himself; he

      might formerly have been an old-looking young man, or he might now

      be a young-looking old man, but there he was. In walking along the

      street, I had as yet looked in vain for a familiar face, or even a

      transmitted face; here was the very greengrocer who had been

      weighing and handling baskets on the morning of the reception. As

      he brought with him a dawning remembrance that he had had no

      proprietary interest in those babies, I crossed the road, and

      accosted him on the subject. He was not in the least excited or

      gratified, or in any way roused, by the accuracy of my

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      recollection, but said, Yes, summut out of the common - he didn't

      remember how many it was (as if half-a-dozen babes either way made

      no difference) - had happened to a Mrs. What's-her-name, as once

      lodged there - but he didn't call it to mind, particular. Nettled

      by this phlegmatic conduct, I informed him that I had left the town

      when I was a child. He slowly returned, quite unsoftened, and not

      without a sarcastic kind of complacency, HAD I? Ah! And did I

      find it had got on tolerably well without me? Such is the

      difference (I thought, when I had left him a few hundred yards

      behind, and was by so much in a better temper) between going away

      from a place and remaining in it. I had no right, I reflected, to

      be angry with the greengrocer for his want of interest, I was

      nothing to him: whereas he was the town, the cathedral, the

      bridge, the river, my childhood, and a large slice of my life, to

      me.

      Of course the town had shrunk fearfully, since I was a child there.

      I had entertained the impression that the High-street was at least

      as wide as Regent-street, London, or the Italian Boulevard at

      Paris. I found it little better than a lane. There was a public

      clock in it, which I had supposed to be the finest clock in the

      world: whereas it now turned out to be as inexpressive, moonfaced,

      and weak a clock as ever I saw. It belonged to a Town Hall,

      where I had seen an Indian (who I now suppose wasn't an Indian)

      swallow a sword (which I now suppose he didn't). The edifice had

      appeared to me in those days so glorious a structure, that I had

      set it up in my mind as the model on which the Genie of the Lamp

      built the palace for Aladdin. A mean little brick heap, like a

      demented chapel, with a few yawning persons in leather gaiters, and

      in the last extremity for something to do, lounging at the door

      with their hands in their pockets, and calling themselves a Corn

      Exchange!

      The Theatre was in existence, I found, on asking the fishmonger,

      who had a compact show of stock in his window, consisting of a sole

      and a quart of shrimps - and I resolved to comfort my mind by going

      to look at it. Richard the Third, in a very uncomfortable cloak,

      had first appeared to me there, and had made my heart leap with

     
    terror by backing up against the stage-box in which I was posted,

      while struggling for life against the virtuous Richmond. It was

      within those walls that I had learnt as from a page of English

      history, how that wicked King slept in war-time on a sofa much too

      short for him, and how fearfully his conscience troubled his boots.

      There, too, had I first seen the funny countryman, but countryman

      of noble principles, in a flowered waistcoat, crunch up his little

      hat and throw it on the ground, and pull off his coat, saying, 'Dom

      thee, squire, coom on with thy fistes then!' At which the lovely

      young woman who kept company with him (and who went out gleaning,

      in a narrow white muslin apron with five beautiful bars of five

      different-coloured ribbons across it) was so frightened for his

      sake, that she fainted away. Many wondrous secrets of Nature had I

      come to the knowledge of in that sanctuary: of which not the least

      terrific were, that the witches in Macbeth bore an awful

      resemblance to the Thanes and other proper inhabitants of Scotland;

      and that the good King Duncan couldn't rest in his grave, but was

      constantly coming out of it and calling himself somebody else. To

      the Theatre, therefore, I repaired for consolation. But I found

      very little, for it was in a bad and declining way. A dealer in

      wine and bottled beer had already squeezed his trade into the boxoffice,

      and the theatrical money was taken - when it came - in a

      kind of meat-safe in the passage. The dealer in wine and bottled

      beer must have insinuated himself under the stage too; for he

      announced that he had various descriptions of alcoholic drinks 'in

      the wood,' and there was no possible stowage for the wood anywhere

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      Dickens, Charles - The Uncommercial Traveller

      else. Evidently, he was by degrees eating the establishment away

      to the core, and would soon have sole possession of it. It was To

      Let, and hopelessly so, for its old purposes; and there had been no

      entertainment within its walls for a long time except a Panorama;

      and even that had been announced as 'pleasingly instructive,' and I

      know too well the fatal meaning and the leaden import of those

      terrible expressions. No, there was no comfort in the Theatre. It

      was mysteriously gone, like my own youth. Unlike my own youth, it

      might be coming back some day; but there was little promise of it.

     


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