Skin

  Skin

  by

  Dale Mayer

  A journey of exploration…

  A journey of healing…

  A journey of love…

  Two people are forced by circumstances into a therapy class to help them deal with their problems. They are strangers. Forced to be partners. Naturally opposites.

  Kane is dealing with anger of betrayal at the deepest level, needing to find his way back to forgiveness. Tania is a previous rape victim hoping to deal with her fear of intimacy so she can have a loving relationship.

  Tania’s medium of expression – her camera.

  Her subject – the human body – Kane’s physical body.

  Looking through the lens of a camera, she learns to find beauty and compassion…and the strength to find wholeness…with him.

  Books in This Series:

  Skin

  Scars – February 2015

  Scales – Coming Soon

  SKIN

  Dale Mayer

  Valley Publishing

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2011 Dale Mayer

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 978-1-928122-14-2

  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Praise for Dale Mayer

  I love to read Dale Mayer’s books… keeps me guessing…. I am getting good though trying to figure out who did it…. I am on my fourth book….

  …Review left on Vampire in Deceit, book 4 of Family Blood Ties

  Dale Mayer’s work is always outstanding and Haunted by Death is no exception.

  …Review from Haunted by Death, book 2 of the By Death Series

  This is a GREAT series that you don’t want to miss out on!

  …Review from Broken Protocols Series

  This is my favorite author I enjoy all her books and I can’t wait for more… her books are easy to get into and I love the storyline

  …Review from Dangerous Designs, book 1 of the Design Series

  Dale Mayer is a gifted writer who now has me hooked as a new fan. She characters are complex and she shares her knowledge of energy work clearly and simply. Makes for fascinating reading…

  …Review from Rare Find, book 6 of Psychic Visions Series

  Don’t underestimated Dale Mayer. Combination of JD Robb and Heather Graham. Paranormal suspense………

  …Review left on Maddy’s Floor, book 3 of the Psychic Visions Series

  Wow! I read a lot, and I can honestly say that there a few books that I have read that I will remember for years. This is one of those books. Thank you Dale for giving me the gift of this magnificent story. It was both heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time.

  …Review left on Skin, book 1 of Broken and yet…Healing Series

  Touched by Death is an outstanding novel by Dale Mayer. Unlike her usual novels that contain paranormal activity, this novel is sheer malevolent actions from ordinary humans.

  …Review left on Touched by Death, book 1 of By Death Series

  Dale’s books are spellbinding in more ways than one. She has a unique way with words. Her characters are fun and funny and loving. I love the way the story flows. Her characters all have personality. She takes you from suspense to love, then fear love and eternal love.

  …Review left on Second Chances, book 1 of Second Chances… at Love Series

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  About the Book

  Copyright Page

  Praise for Dale Mayer

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Author’s Note

  Previews

  Second Chances Sample

  Touched by Death Sample

  About the Author

  Also by Dale Mayer

  Chapter 1

  Tania took her seat in the small room. She was early, and the seminar room was empty. She liked to arrive early in class because it gave her time to settle before things got started.

  She’d been in similar scenarios before. She could do this, again and again, if she had to. Using the meditation tricks she learned, she practiced her deep-breathing techniques to ease back the stress threatening to choke the breath from her body. Therapy was good for her. She was getting better. She could do this.

  This particular program was special, a university workshop type of thing. Intensive, invasive, and guaranteed to help bring about change.

  She could do this.

  Liar. She so sucked at this.

  She stared out the large windows, her nerves raw, hot. Morning sunshine shone through the curtains, giving a muted look to the bright light. Kind of like her own life. As if she was living only a shade of the life she could be.

  That was precisely what she was doing.

  Several other attendees entered and took their seats. Special group, special problems, and they’d all signed up to do this willingly; had even paid for it. More than that, once committed there was no quitting. They were all students here at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. They were all associated in one way or another with the professor who’d be leading this weeklong session. She was friends with one of the participants and recognized most of the others from Jenna’s lectures on internal healing.

  In her case, her best friend had paid the hefty deposit to hold Tania’s place while she convinced her to get help. Five days in a hotel at the edge of campus. Workshops in the mornings, assignments in the afternoons, and therapy sessions dotted the rest of the evening. Even those who lived locally weren’t allowed to leave at the end of the day; it was all-inclusive. She wished it were otherwise, then she could return to her normal life instead of this intensive, no-hiding type of session. Which was, of course, the purpose of the seminar.

  She was scared, but she was more scared of staying caught in this limbo forever.

  It was stupid. She shouldn’t need help, not after all this time. It had happened years ago. She should be over this.

  But the sad fact was, she wasn’t. And if she didn’t do something about it, her life would never go in the direction she wanted it to go. Her dream of a small house and white picket fence with the perfect two kids was never going to happen if she didn’t find a way to let a man into her bedroom. Sure, she thought moodily, I could adopt. She had seriously considered it.

  But she wanted the loving relationships she saw so many of her friends enjoying and to get there, she had to heal herself first. So not easy.

  She smiled as her friend, Robin, came in and sat down beside her. Robin said, “Hi. How are you doing this week?”

  Tania smiled wider. “Fine. As long as I avoid men, as u
sual.”

  “Ha.” Robin grinned. “Defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”

  “It’s what I can do.” Tania shrugged. “Leaving the safety net is not easy.”

  “I hear you.” Robin settled in beside her. Tania’s scars were inside, but Robin’s were outside. She had been in a horrible accident and was dealing with reconstructive surgery and the fact she might never be ‘normal’. She had trouble going out in public and had barricaded herself in a secular life of school. Robin was here to deal with her fears and how she looked now, and to find the strength to get out in public where she’d be ridiculed and stared at. After children had run from her screaming in a park almost a year ago, she’d gone home and stayed home. It had become the safe haven she didn’t want to leave, but that also made it a prison. She had to force herself to go to class. Had to force herself to come to this seminar.

  Tania understood.

  They were all here to deal with issues – big issues. Whatever issues stopped them from living full lives. Their professor was a special woman who’d walked their path and had healed herself. Now, she was on a journey to help others do the same.

  Just then, several men walked in, loud and boisterous. There was just something about that big, dominant energy as it filled the small, casual lounge. It was the same three men who arrived as a group last night. It was the same way they arrived at Jenna’s classes on campus. Every week the quiet disappeared, and Tania and Robin became even quieter. This wasn’t a normal therapy group – she’d been to those. This one demanded a commitment to complete the session and participation at all times. There was homework, assignments that forced participants to step out of their comfort zone.

  Everyone knew something about each other, but the details had been offered at the discretion of the person. They were all here for a week. One week. Working together, pairing up for various assignments.

  She could do this.

  Then he walked in and sat down beside her.

  Her stomach dropped and her blood heated. She could hardly breathe. She straightened and shifted ever so slightly closer to Robin like she always did. Like a moth to a flame, she knew better than to get any closer to Kane, a huge muscled guy who seemed too rough and…angry for her to be safe. But, just like the moth, the attraction was at the cellular level and she was helpless to resist.

  God, she wanted him.

  And she’d never wanted a man in her life.

  He terrified her. She wanted to want a small man, someone her size. Someone…she’d have a chance to escape from if he turned abusive. Someone gentle, tender, and understanding.

  Kane oozed strength, power, and bitterness.

  Not at all what she wanted or needed.

  Kane crossed his arms, his muscles bulging beside her. She shuddered. How could she want to stroke her fingers across his skin at the same time that she wanted to run away from him? He could pound her into the ground with one punch. Why? Why would her body want anything to do with him? It made no sense.

  It only reinforced that she was crazy.

  “Ah, Tania? Can you move back over slightly?” Robin gave her a concerned look then nudged her shoulder and, using her chin, pointed to Tania’s half-empty seat.

  Tania realized she’d damn near crawled into Robin’s chair with her; she was that close. With a sideways glance at Kane, Tania flushed and settled back into place. “Sorry,” she whispered to Robin.

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  Two voices said the same thing.

  She wanted to yell ‘snap’, that silly remnant from her childhood, but was too busy staring in surprise at Kane. He gave her a stone-faced look. She’d never considered how her constant avoidance of him must look. He was no monster; in fact, he was stunning – to her. He had a lean face full of angles and planes. She thought of granite when she contemplated him. Strong. Infallible. Unyielding.

  She had no basis for such an assessment. She didn’t know him outside of seeing him once in a while in Jenna’s classes. They were of a similar age, she thought, but he seemed older. It was his demeanor, slightly off-putting as he almost always had a sneer on his face. As if he was here under duress, but he didn’t truly belong.

  But then, she’d had a similar attitude in her last therapy class. That she didn’t now meant she’d grown a little. Maybe he just needed a bit more time. Accepting one had a problem was a hell of a start – and often the most difficult step.

  He might not want to see himself as one of the participants here who needed help, but that was what he was. And being here meant he had issues regardless of his attitude, so he was no better than she was.

  But his attitude needed some adjusting if he was going to get any benefit from the class. And considering the money he’d dumped into this, he’d better.

  She couldn’t help but wonder at his story. He had a chip on his shoulder obviously, and there was a thin layer of bitterness just below the surface. She had to think relationships were involved. From what she’d seen, there were some pretty screwed-up people in the world, and those here for this session had taken a hit from some of the worst.

  It had been good for her to come here and see she wasn’t alone in dealing with her problems, or that her problems were by no means the worst. One of the men was young, like nineteen…maybe or possibly younger, considering the sparse bristles on his chin. He had a raunchy humor and dead eyes. Another, Sean, was tall and lanky and seemed seriously old on the inside. He both scared her and struck a deep cord of sympathy inside. His mother had horribly abused him for years before she finally OD’d on drugs, and he’d been left with a legacy of pain.

  And like so many others here, he’d been working on his healing for years. He hoped this retreat would get rid of his last stumbling block.

  Tania wasn’t so sure it could be possible. That look in his eye…

  She shuddered, grateful she’d come as far as she had.

  Now if only she could kick this fear and go all the way. Yet another school idiom that made her want to chuckle. What was wrong with her? It was as if she had a delayed teenage-hood. Maybe she had. She certainly hadn’t spent it dreaming over movie stars or giggling in groups waiting for the special guys to walk by.

  The door opened, admitting Jenna Price, their professor and therapist. She was a mix of ruthless compassion and steely resolve. She was determined that everyone here get something useful from this session. They weren’t randomly accepted into this workshop; there had been a long list, which grew even longer every term, apparently. Money hadn’t been the only criteria. The problems you were dealing with had to be something she felt would work in a group setting and she could help you move past, and so the other participants could help you to deal with your issues, too. She wasn’t about everyone getting along, more about how the interaction would work to benefit everyone involved.

  Jenna walked to the empty chair, her hand wrapped around a large china mug with a lid. She was a tea drinker. Apparently, at any time and any place she could always be seen with the mug. She was a stately woman, anywhere from her late thirties to mid-forties. Tania had no idea – just that she appeared to be competent. Now if only she held that magical key to getting Tania’s life back on track.

  “Good morning.” Jenna placed the mug on the floor beside her. “Last night was basic. Today, we are going to get into the nitty-gritty stuff, and you are going to hurt. It’s hard dealing with the issues we don’t want to look at. It’s painful to step out of our padded cloud and deal honestly and openly with what needs to be dealt with.” She cast her warm but determined gaze around the room. “Remember, none of you are here by accident. You came because you want to deal with something, and you want change for yourself. Today is Day 1. You will have changed by Day 5; I guarantee it.” Her gaze landed on Tania and Robin, a slight softening warming her chocolate-brown eyes. “We’ll be working together as a group all morning. But after lunch, you will be put into groups of two with your weeklong assignment.”

  Weeklong assignmen
t? That was the first Tania had heard anything about it. As long as it was in pairs, she was probably okay. She could work with Robin. That would most likely suit both of them.

  Taking a deep breath, Tania turned her attention back to the morning’s work.

  A long time later, Jenna opened a folder she’d brought with her and handed out sheets of paper to everyone. “This is the outline of the assignment. You will be given all afternoon every day for the rest of the week to work on this, with my help if need be, but let’s make no mistake here: the assignment is not a cerebral one. Each of you must deal with people, the public, and yourselves for this to work.”

  A small knot of dread formed in Tania’s stomach as she comprehended how very difficult such an assignment could be. Poor Robin; she’d have the worst time with this. Already Tania’s mind was wandering, looking for ways to make it easier on her, and came to a full stop. No. That was not the answer. She’d be enabling Robin. Better for her to deal with her issues than to have Tania automatically assume she couldn’t do it.

  Tania would have her hands full herself.

  She accepted the sheet of paper from Robin and handed the last one over to the silent Kane. At least he’d lost the bored look. She studied his body language, noticing that he sat a little straighter and locked his jaw. He wasn’t as comfortable as he was letting on.

  Interesting. So control was important to him. She filed the tidbit away and turned her attention back to class. Jenna had been taking pairs of people off to one side and speaking with them privately. She watched as Robin and the abused young male walked out of the room together. Tania was surprised at the compassion on Robin’s face and on Sean’s. What was going on?

  She turned her attention back to the paper in her hand. The project was intended to push her out of her comfort zone while being within the scope of what she needed to learn to do. Given the private nature of her problem, she really didn’t want to have to do anything really uncomfortable. It would be embarrassing and potentially crippling. As another pair of attendees left the room, she realized Jenna was speaking to two more, leaving her and Kane.