How to Train Your Dragon: How to Speak Dragonese, Page 2

  as Sparrowhawk sailed on, completely unhurt. ‘Your

  pathetic raft is so small we didn’t see you!’

  ‘Har har har,’ guffawed Dogsbreath the

  Duhbrain.

  The ramming sent The Hopeful

  Puffin into one of her spins.

  For a long time she spun round in

  wobbly circles, like a confused

  28

  sea-urchin.

  Eventually, Hiccup

  regained control of the

  rudder and Fishlegs picked

  himself up from the bottom of the boat,

  moaning slightly.

  The Hopeful Puffin completed her final spin

  and began moving swiftly forwards.

  But the fog had come down again, if anything

  even thicker than before. After all that spinning,

  29

  Hiccup had absolutely no idea which direction they

  were facing. And when the last faint echoes of

  Snotlout and Dogsbreath’s jeering had faded away,

  they sailed on in spooky silence.

  ‘Where is everybody?’ asked Fishlegs.

  ‘Ssssh,’ scolded Hiccup. ‘I’m trying to listen.’

  The boys were quiet for ten long minutes.

  The only sound to be heard was the lapping of

  water against the sides of the boat and a brisk wind

  filling out the sail. They were gliding along at quite a

  rate now, but where were they going? Hiccup and

  Fishlegs strained their eyes into the fog and their ears

  into the silence, desperate to see or hear something,

  anything at all.

  But there was nothing.

  It might have been Hiccup’s imagination playing

  tricks on him, but it seemed to him as if the air

  suddenly felt just a tiny bit warmer, and when he trailed

  a finger briefly into the water it felt just a tiny bit less icy

  than it should have done. And then he got to thinking

  about the Summer Current and Sharkworms and a

  prickle of fear ran all down his back, and everywhere

  about him the drifting, ghostly fog seemed to be taking

  the shape of Sharkworm fins…

  30

  ‘Just out of interest,’ asked Fishlegs casually,

  ‘how does a Sharkworm attack you, exactly?’

  ‘Well,’ replied Hiccup, changing direction yet

  again in the hope of getting back to the safety of the bay,

  ‘Sharkworms should only attack if you are wounded.

  Even if you’re not in the water they can smell the blood

  and that drives them crazy. And then, because they have

  legs as well as a fishy tail, they can actually CLIMB

  ABOARD a ship to get you. That’s where they got their

  nickname of “Pirate Dragons”, because, although they

  can survive at least ten minutes in the air, they generally

  drag you back into the water to kill you.’

  ‘Oh, brilliant,’ said Fishlegs, frantically

  checking himself all over to see if he had any grazes.

  ‘Do you think eczema counts or does it have to be an

  actual cut?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ said Hiccup. ‘I’ve never actually

  met a Sharkworm.’

  ‘Better and better,’ said Fishlegs. ‘It’s at times

  like this that I am so glad that I was born a Viking and

  not a Roman.’ (The Romans were the Vikings’ deadly

  enemies – a very bossy lot who wanted to take over

  the world and had jolly nearly got there.) ‘Think how

  BORING it would be to be a Roman. All those warm

  31

  baths and lounging around in togas when you could be

  out here enjoying the fresh air and the multi-fanged

  blood-crazy carnivores…’

  ‘Ssssh,’ said Hiccup, changing direction for the

  ninth time. ‘Let’s just see whether we can hear

  anything this time…’

  But again there was silence, and the splash of

  seawater coming over the side on to Hiccup’s ankle

  felt definitely warm.

  ‘I’m h-h-hungry,’ said a deep little voice from

  Hiccup’s chest and both boys jumped at the sudden

  sound.

  The nose of Toothless, Hiccup’s disobedient

  little dragon, poked out of the top of Hiccup’s shirt,

  closely followed by the rest of him. He crawled

  sleepily up Hiccup’s neck to his familiar perch on the

  top of Hiccup’s helmet, where he shook out his wings,

  had a quick rummage for dragonfleas, and gave an

  enormous yawn, revealing a very pink forked tongue

  and the fang-free gums that gave him his name.

  Even though he was only a Common-or-

  Garden dragon, the most ordinary of the dragon

  species, Toothless was a beautiful little creature. He

  was a deep emerald green in colour, fading to

  32

  shimmering pearl on his tummy like a mackerel,

  lightly sprinkled with pale brown freckles.

  Enormous, innocent, grass-green eyes peered

  out from between absurdly long eyelashes.

  Appearances, of course, were

  deceptive, for dragons are among the

  most selfish animals on the planet,

  and Toothless was, in fact, a shark in

  a baby seal’s clothing.

  ‘You can help us, actually,

  Toothless,’ said Hiccup. ‘This is

  IMPORTANT. We need to find

  ourselves back to the bay. We’re a bit

  worried that we might have

  accidentally got ourselves into the

  Summer Current and we don’t want to bump into any

  SHARKWORMS, now, do we?’ Hiccup laughed

  nervously. ‘So what YOU could do is flap around and

  look for boats so we can get back on the right course.’

  ‘Ask Horrorcow. Toothless h-h-hungry,’ said

  Toothless grumpily. He had woken up in a bad mood.

  Hiccup raised his eyes to the heavens before

  explaining patiently that Horrowcow was asleep and

  there was no way she was going to wake up.

  33

  Horrorcow was Fishlegs’s dragon – a nice

  enough beast, but she spent most of her time asleep.

  She was lying, sprawled full length, underneath one of

  the rowing benches. Fishlegs had put a coat under her

  head to lift it clear of the water so she didn’t drown.

  ‘T-t-toothless not m-m-moving.’ Toothless was in

  a big sulk now. ‘N-n-no food – no moving. Toothless on

  strike. Hiccup BOSSY BOSSY BOSSY. D-d-d-do this.

  Do that. Toothless a d-d-dragon, not a slave. Work,

  work, work, that’s all you make poor Toothless do.’

  ‘Toothless, you’ve been asleep since breakfast!’

  protested Hiccup. ‘And that’s the most unfair thing

  I’ve ever heard. I wait on you hand and foot, you know

  I do. I feed you constantly, I tell you jokes, I carry you

  everywhere…’

  ‘Toothless h-h-has w-w-weak wings,’ said

  Toothless pathetically.

  ‘You woke me up FOUR TIMES last night…’

  ‘Toothless had a n-n-nightmare.’ Toothless

  opened his big green eyes even wider. ‘Great big fat

  horrible h-h-humans with BIG TEETH chasing poor

  Toothless all through his b-b-bed, want to get Toothless

  because Toothless is so s-s-special…’

  ‘You wanted OYSTERS!’ howled Hiccup.
/>
  34

  ‘Oysters at three o’clock in the morning!’

  ‘Oysters g-g-good for nightmares,’ protested

  Toothless.

  Hiccup ran out of patience.

  ‘You wouldn’t shut up! You perched on my

  father’s bed and said you’d screech in his ear if I

  didn’t get them! I had to get up, get dressed, go down

  to the Oyster Hoard in Hooligan Harbour and then

  when I got back again you wouldn’t even EAT them

  because you said they were the wrong colour or

  something!’

  ‘They had b-b-black bits on them,’ whined

  35

  Toothless. ‘Toothless h-h-hates black bits, they’re

  YUCKY…’

  ‘Oh, don’t be such a BIG BABY, Toothless,’

  snapped Hiccup. ‘It was only bits of seaweed and even

  when I picked them all off you STILL wouldn’t eat

  them!’

  ‘I hate to interrupt,’ said Fishlegs nervously,

  ‘but I’m pretty certain I saw the fin of a Sharkworm

  over there…’

  But Toothless and Hiccup were so cross they

  didn’t even hear. They were nose to nose, eyeballing

  each other. Toothless had puffed up to nearly twice his

  normal size and had turned an unpleasant mustardy-

  red colour. Hiccup had forgotten you shouldn’t really

  look a dragon in the eye for too long because their

  gaze is hypnotic, and he was starting to feel dizzy. But

  he was so angry he didn’t care.

  This dragon had gone too far this time.

  Hiccup had HAD ENOUGH.

  He was going to put his foot down.

  ‘I do ALL these things for YOU,’ continued

  Hiccup, ‘and EVERY now and then I ask you to do a

  few SIMPLE things for ME, like catch some

  mackerel in a Dragontraining Lesson, or look out for

  36

  Sharkworms so we don’t all get dragged off and torn to

  pieces, and what do you do? You go ON STRIKE. Well

  you’ve gone too far this time. I’ve HAD ENOUGH.

  I’m putting my foot down. You can just GO on strike

  then and see if I care.’

  ‘OK then,’ hissed Toothless. ‘T-T-Toothless

  really WILL go on strike.’

  With great dignity Toothless flapped off

  Hiccup’s shoulder and up to the top of the mast

  where he perched, muttering to himself in a furious

  undertone, ‘T-T-Toothless a BIG BABY, is he? HA!

  We’ll SEE about that, M-M-Mister Smartypants

  Hiccup. L-l-let’s just find out how l-l-long you last

  37

  without the help of the BIG BABY…’

  ‘What’s he doing?’ asked Fishlegs.

  Fishlegs didn’t speak Dragonese, so he wasn’t

  sure what was going on. ‘Is he listening out for boats

  so we can get back to the bay?’

  ‘Er, no…’ admitted Hiccup, whose head was

  still spinning after the staring contest with Toothless.

  ‘We had a bit of a row and he’s gone on strike. But I’ve

  had it up to here with that dragon. He’s pushed me too

  far too often… I’m drawing a line in the mud…’

  ‘Oh, for Thor’s sake!’ Fishlegs exploded. ‘We

  haven’t got time for that now… LOOK!’

  Hiccup’s eyes finally swam back into focus.

  He looked.

  The fog had shifted around, making it difficult

  to see, but for a moment Hiccup thought he might

  have glimpsed a black fin, with the jagged edge that

  made it clear that this was the fin of a Sharkworm,

  rather than that of its less dangerous relative, the

  ordinary shark…

  ‘I don’t think that was a Sharkworm, you know,

  Fishlegs,’ said Hiccup uncertainly. ‘I think it’s just the

  fog playing tricks on our eyes…’

  But Fishlegs wasn’t taking any chances. He

  38

  tried to shake Horrorcow awake but the little reptile

  only snored all the harder.

  ‘We need Toothless!’ panicked Fishlegs. ‘For

  Thor’s sake do something! Apologise! Promise him

  something large that he can EAT!’

  ‘You could be right,’ admitted Hiccup. ‘OK,

  Toothless,’ he called up. Through the fog he could just

  see the dragon-on-strike perched on top of the

  swaying mast. ‘I apologise. We need you. If you fly

  down and help I’ll give you all my supper for the next

  three weeks!’

  ‘S-s-sixty seconds,’ said Toothless to himself

  with satisfaction. ‘Sixty seconds and they n-n-need

  Toothless again.’

  ‘N-n-not listening!’ he sang down, examining

  his talons. ‘H-H-Hiccup not need the help of a BIG

  BABY…’

  ‘Honestly, I think we’re sort of OK,’ said

  Hiccup, squinting at the seas around them. ‘I can’t see

  anything now and Sharkworms really are only

  supposed to attack if somebody has an open wound…’

  Fishlegs was too panicked to hear what Hiccup

  was saying. He started yelling up the mast.

  ‘Toooooothlessssss!’

  39

  ‘Not listening! Not l-l-listening!’ Toothless

  called back with his wings over his ears.

  Fishlegs shut his eyes in the hope that this wasn’t

  really happening… and then he opened them again.

  ‘Listen!’ he hissed with frantic relief. ‘Can you

  hear what I hear? Sea-dragons!’

  Hiccup sat very still.

  And there it was, a very faint noise of dragons

  shrieking.

  ‘A Peaceable fishing boat!’ said Fishlegs joyfully.

  ‘Just in time, too! This is our lucky day!’ He grabbed

  the rudder off Hiccup and swung it hard around to

  face in the direction of the noise.

  ‘Come on, come ON,’ Fishlegs urged The

  Hopeful Puffin as the wind caught her sails and took

  her swiftly forwards, ‘and please don’t start turning

  round in circles.’

  To Fishlegs’s relief the noise of screaming

  dragons grew louder and louder and the grey shadowy

  shape of an enormous boat loomed at them out of the

  fog.

  It was a far, far larger boat than Hiccup was

  expecting. Surely Peaceable fishing boats didn’t

  normally have three layers of oars? And the sound the

  41

  dragons were making was also unusual.

  ‘Those dragons aren’t hungry, they’re angry,’

  said Hiccup slowly.

  ‘Who cares?’ shrieked Fishlegs, grabbing a

  grappling hook that was on a rope attached to the prow

  of The Hopeful Puffin. He threw it so that it caught

  perfectly over the rim of the larger boat and held.

  Fishlegs was not a great athlete. He had tried

  this countless times in Boarding-an-Enemy-Ship

  Lessons and had never managed to throw it

  successfully before.

  In fact, several times he had nearly knocked

  himself out in the process. Which just goes to show,

  it’s amazing what a person can do when he feels he is

  in deadly mortal danger.

  ‘Hang on a second, Fishlegs!’ warned Hiccup.

  ‘We have to keep our heads here! We haven’t

  definitely seen a Sharkworm yet, have w
e? And those

  dragons are screaming the most awful things in

  Dragonese…’

  But Fishlegs was in too much of a twitter of

  terror to listen to Hiccup.

  ‘Have you forgotten? We’re supposed to be

  boarding a Peaceable fishing boat right now!’ he

  42

  The SHARKWORM

  One of the scariest predators in the ocean.

  You are not safe either in the water or out,

  for the Sharkworm has thick muscly alligator

  legs that allow it to climb on board ship

  to kill.

  ~STATISTICS~

  COLOURS: Black, green, grey.

  ARMED WITH: Serrated Fangs, claws etc.

  FEAR FACTOR:......9

  ATTACK: ......9

  SPEED: ............9

  SIZE: .........8

  DISOBEDIENCE: ..........9

  Wings fold into body

  cavity when swimming

  scolded. ‘Remember Boarding-an-Enemy-Ship

  lessons? Remember Gobber? Big chap, bad breath,

  muscles like Bashyballs? He’s going to KILL us if we

  don’t come back with a Peaceable helmet, right?

  Although, of course, it’s a fascinating question

  whether or not that was a deadly man-eating

  Sharkworm or just a trick of the eyes, I really don’t

  feel like staying here and discussing it somehow…’

  Fishlegs started climbing the rope.

  Again, Fishlegs was normally hopeless at rope–

  climbing But this time he was up that rope as quick

  as a Shortwing Squirrelserpent scrambling up a tree.

  Hiccup hopped nervously from one foot to

  another, listening to the furiously angry dragons

  shrieking from the enormous ship towering above him.

  He couldn’t let Fishlegs board the ship alone.

  Hiccup said a quick prayer to Woden, put his

  hands upon the rope, and began to squirm up after his

  friend.

  ‘Here goes…’ muttered Fishlegs, as he reached

  the top of the rope and prepared to climb over the

  edge and into the boat. He pulled out his sword with

  one trembling hand. ‘Remember, they’re only

  fishermen, they’re scared silly by Hooligans,’ he

  44

  reminded himself. ‘What was it Gobber said to say

  when we went over the top? Oh I know, that stupid