Johnny Nut and the Golden Goose

  Produced by David Widger from page images generouslyprovided by the Internet Archive

  JOHNNY NUT AND THE GOLDEN GOOSE

  Done Into English

  By Andrew Lang

  From The French Of Charles Deulin

  Illustrated By A. M. Lynen

  London

  Longmans, Green, And Co.

  1887

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  PREFACE

  This Tale is rendered, a little freely, from _Trente-six Rencontres deJean du Gogué_, in _Contes d’un Buveur de Bière_, par Charles Deulin.(Sixième Edition. Paris: Dentu. 1873.)

  The late M. Deulin told with much humour, and probably with butlittle alteration from oral tradition, the popular tales of his nativeprovince. The narrative here translated has points in common with aTongan legend, with several ancient French _fabliaux_, with a Zulu storyin Bishop Callaway’s collection, and with Grimm’s _Golden Goose_.

  TO MISTRESS DOROTHEA THORPE

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  IKE the Sultan in the _Arabian Nights_--and, sure, you are no lessdespotic--you have sometimes commanded me to ‘tell you a story.’It hasbeen my privilege to obey; but, alas! when my toil was ended, witha stretch of absolute authority you have bidden me ‘tell youanother.’Truly, Madam, the _Ocean of the Streams of Story_, whereofthe Hindoos speak, will speedily be drained dry by your Slave, who nowpresents you with this little Tale, which he has conveyed from FrenchFlanders. If it amuses your leisure as much to read, as it has divertedmine to translate it, I shall have that enjoyment which attendssuccessful enterprise, and I remain,

  Madam,

  Yours very humbly to command

  A. Z.

  MADAM,

  GOLDEN GOOSE

  CHAPTER I.

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  LONG TIME AGO there lived in French Flanders, at a village called SaintSaulve, Valenciennes way, a little cow-boy named Johnny Nut He had nofather and no mother, and they called him Johnny Nut because he wasfound one fine morning under a walnut-tree. Silly Billy was anothername he had, for he was just as great an innocent as a calf before it isweaned.

  Now, never in his living days had Johnny Nut dined on anything betterthan potatoes, and the one thing he wanted in the world was to tasteroast goose.

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  Now, about a dozen miles off, Condé way, there is a village where thegeese are so grand that all the world talks of nothing but the Hergniesgeese.

  ‘When I grow up,’ said Johnny, ‘I’ll go to Hergnies and eat goose.’

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  So, at long and at last, one autumn evening he left the cows in thelurch, and off he went, without beat of drum.

  Now, whether he came back as poor as he started, and what a great loveof roast goose brought Silly Billy to, that’s what we are going to tellyou!

  So Johnny Nut followed his nose, and asked his way, and at nightfall hereached the village of Escau-bridge.

  ‘You can’t show me the way to Hergnies, mother?’ cried Johnny to thefarmer’s wife, who was just sitting down to supper.

  ‘That I can, my son, but you are out late.

  ‘Are you in such a hurry?’

  ‘Oh, mother, who is in a hurry if not me? These ten years I’ve beendying to taste roast goose, so don’t you see there’s no time to waste.’

  The farmer’s wife stared at him with all her eyes.

  ‘What do they call you?’ says she.

  ‘Silly Billy,’ says he.

  ‘Oh, _don’t I see_.

  ‘Yes, I see,’ said the woman, laughing to his veryface. ‘Listen, my lad! You are big, and strong, and you seem honest. NowJim, our man, is off on the King’s wars. Will you take his place?’

  ‘Will you let me taste roast goose?’

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  ‘On Sunday, as sure as sure, you shall have your fill of goose; I haveto send some one to Hergnies, to my cousin’s, to-morrow. You shallstart, at peep of day, and bring me a good fat goose. We’ll dine off himwhen we come back from the fair at the next town. Does that suit you, myson?’

  ‘Mother, it’s just the thing for me.’

  ‘Then come to supper.’

  And to supper went Johnny Nut, with such an appetite that he scarcelyhad time to say grace.

  CHAPTER II.

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  EXT day was a Saturday, and the farmer’s wife went to waken Johnny inthe stable-loft.

  ‘Come, come, up with you!’ says she, shaking him. ‘Don’t you hear thecock crowing?’ So she gave him a big bowl of coffee, and _such_ a chunkof bread; and showed him the way, and sent him off, saying, ‘Mind youask for my cousin’s mill, and bring me the goose, and seven bushels offlour, and a pint of seed corn.’

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  ‘Seven bushels, and one pint,’ ‘Seven bushels, and one pint’--for, notbeing very clever, he was afraid he might forget.

  As he went on saying this, he met a farmer, who was counting up how muchhis field should bring him in.

  ‘_Seven_ bushels, indeed!’ said the farmer. ‘Let a hundred come!’

  Now this puzzled Johnny Silly Billy, for he had never room in his headfor more than one idea at a time; so he went on his way, repeating,

  ‘Let a hundred come! let a hundred come!’

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  Well, as Johnny crossed a wood, there sat a shepherd, as red as scarlet,and as proud as a peacock that has laid an egg; and all because his doghad just killed a wolf that was after the lambs.

  ‘Let a hundred of them come! let a hundred of them come!’ sang outJohnny Nut.

  ‘What do you mean, you fool?’ says the shepherd, ‘with your _Let ahundred them come!_ A hundred, indeed! Rather say, _There’s anothercaught and done for!_’

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  ‘_There’s another caught and done for!_‘said Johnny Nut, as he went onhis way.

  CHAPTER III.

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  OW, as Johnny strutted along, he heard jolly music and wedding bells,and saw a multitude of people.

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  It was a wedding party, outside a tavern; and the fiddlers werefiddling, and everybody dancing.

  Johnny Nut went through the middle of them all, shouting:--

  ‘_There’s another caught and done for!_’

  ‘Caught and done for! Meaning _me_!’ says the gay bridegroom; andhe tucked up his shirtsleeves to give Johnny one in the eye. But thebridesmaid, who did not want a quarrel, gave Johnny a push, and said tohim--

  ‘Idiot, say rather, “Let everybody follow a good example.”’

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  It was all one to Johnny, and off he went, shouting--

  ‘Let every one follow this good example!’

  So he left the village, and he went, and went and better went, till hecame to a house on fire.

  The policeman had caught a poor tramp, whom he charged with burning thehouse.

  ‘_Let everyone follow this good example_!’ shouted Johnny, neverthinking of anything but roast goose.

  ‘What’s that you say, you vagabond! You incite the populace to arsonand fire-raising!’ cries the policeman, who was by way of being à greatlawyer.

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  Johnny trembled like an aspen-leaf.

  ‘Say, “Heaven help you to put the fire out,”’ whispered one of thefiremen; and Johnny said so, and off he went, the old way, crying--

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  ‘_Heaven help you to put the fire out!_’

  Now he passed a blacksmith’s forge, and that blacksmith was as crossas two sticks, for he had been blowing the bellows for three hours, andcould not make the fire burn.

  Well, just when a little tiny blue flame bu
rst forth, as little as apussycat’s tongue, what did the blacksmith hear but--

  ‘_Heaven put the fire out!_’

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  Round he turned, pitched his hammer at Johnny, and knocked him down flaton the king’s high way.

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  CHAPTER IV.

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  OHNNY was not dead; Fortune had other adventures in store for Johnny. Afarmer came out with his men, and carried him into the house, where hesoon came to his senses. It was not very much in that way he had to cometo; but if Johnny had not many brains, he had an extraordinarily thickskull. The blow with the hammer would have killed another man, but itonly made a bump on the head of our Johnny.

  The farmer asked him where he came from and what he wanted.

  ‘I’m going to Hergnies, to eat roast goose,’ said Johnny.

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  ‘Why, you are twelve miles from Hergnies,’ said the farmer; and he gaveJohnny a sheaf of corn, and sent him on his road.

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  Well, Johnny lost himself again, and sat down against a wall and lunchedoff part of his hunch of bread.

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  Then, as he was tired, he fell asleep, and a chicken came and ate allthe grains of corn out of his sheaf. Then Johnny woke, and when he foundhe had nothing left of his sheaf but straw he fell a-crying.

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  Now, the farmer there was a good-natured man, and, to console Johnny, hemade him a present of the fowl, and off he went.

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  About four in the afternoon Johnny was hungry again, and sat down tofinish his hunch of bread with his chicken beside him.

  Up came a clumsy great cow, and trod on the chicken and crushed it flat.

  Johnny set off sobbing again. ‘Never no luck,’ says he. ‘They gave me asheaf, and a chicken ate it. They gave me a chicken, and a cow crushedit Boo-hoo!’

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  ‘Don’t boo-hoo,’ says the Lord of the Manor, who came by with his gunon his shoulder and his game-bag on his back. ‘Don’t boo-hoo! take thecow.’

  ‘Thank you kindly, your noble worship,’ says Johnny, as merry as may be,and he and the cow jogged along till it grew dark.

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  At last Johnny came to another farm, and there the farmer took in himand his cow.

  Now, this farmer had a big pretty maid, as strong as a man, and he badeher milk Johnny’s cow. But, as she milked, the cow switched its tail inher eyes and made her see quite an illumination.

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  The maid was an angry maid. She picked up a pitchfork and threw it atthe cow, and the poor beast fell down dead!

  Then Johnny began to cry again, and I don’t wonder at it.

  ‘Never no luck,’ says he. ‘They gave me a sheaf, and a chicken ate it;they gave me a chicken, and a cow crushed it; they gave me a cow, andthe maid killed it. Boo-hoo!’

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  ‘Oh bother! take the maid and don’t blubber,’ said the farmer. He didn’tlike to keep a girl in the house who threw pitchforks about when shelost her temper.

  Johnny did not wait to be asked twice. He took the maid, tied her handsand feet, put her in a sack, heaved her on to his back, and away wentJohnny.

  ‘When I do get to Hergnies,’ said he to himself, ‘I’ll marry the maid,and we’ll have roast goose at the wedding supper,’ for his intentionswere strictly honourable.

  But the further he went the more Johnny didn’t find the way; and atlast, as the maid was pretty heavy, he set her down by a tavern door andwent in and asked for a pot of beer.

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  CHAPTER V.

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  OW, in the tavern were Tuné, the tailor, with a coat he had made fora customer, and Nanasse, and Polydore, and Rumble his dog, four of thewildest wags in that country-side.

  Tuné went out of the tavern to see what kind of night it was, and therewas the sack and something in it that moved. So he opened the sack, andwhat should he find but a pretty tall maid, trussed like a fowl.

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  Well, he let her out and she told him all about it, and, as she was notdying to marry our Johnny, off she ran to her own village as hard as shecould go.

  ‘What am I to fill the sack with?’ thought Tuné. ‘By George, I’ll put inPolydore’s yellow dog, Rumble.’

  So he whistled to Rumble and put him in the sack.

  By this time Johnny had finished his ale, and he came out, hoisted thesack on his shoulder, and marched away without asking questions. Tunefollowed at a little distance, and, as Rumble knew a friend was there,why, he entered into the fun and said never a bark.

  At last Johnny reached Hergnies, and where should he go to but to theparson’s, of course, to get married! Then it occurred to him that hehad never asked the maid if she would have him! He put down the sack andopened it.

  ‘I say, maid,’ quoth he, ‘shall us get married, us two?’

  ‘G-r-r-r-r-r-r!’ says the maid.

  Johnny, in a fright, let go his hold of the cord, the sack fell open,out jumped Rumble, and flew at his throat.

  Johnny sprang into a willow-tree and climbed up it, but, lo and behold!the tree was rotten, and down came tree and Johnny and all on the backof Rumble! Now, Rumble was expecting nothing of that sort, and, with onewild yowl, he flew away like the wind, and never stopped till the towngates of Condé were closed behind him!

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  CHAPTER VI.

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  HEN once the voice of Rumble was lost in the distance, Johnny climbedout of the tree and found that none of his bones were broken.

  All of a sudden in the hollow of the tree trunk he saw something shininglike a will o’ the wisp.

  He put in his hands and pulled out A Goose with Golden Feathers!

  ‘Here’s luck at last,’ says Johnny, ‘I’ve lost a maid and found a goldengoose! I’ll have it roasted this very night,’ and off he went to thebest inn in the village.

  Now the inn was full of people going to the fair on St. Calixtus’s day,which was a great festival.

  However, Johnny, being but a village idiot, had never heard anythingabout all that.

  Up he comes and goes to the landlord, who didn’t know where to turn, hehad so many customers, all going to the fair.

  ‘Cook my goose!’ says Johnny, as bold as brass.

  ‘Oh, you go to--Jerusalem,’ says the landlord, ‘we don’t cook _goldgeese here_, not to-day, we don’t.’

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  ‘Well, if you won’t be obliging and cook my goose,’ says Johnny Nut,‘why, I’ll give it to Saint Calixtus. A pretty poor saint he’ll be if hedoes not give me a goose fit to put on the spit in exchange for my gooseof gold!’

  So he got supper somehow, and went with his goose to sleep in thestable.

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  CHAPTER VII.

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  HE landlord of the inn had three fair daughters, all as curious astheir mother Eve. All night long they turned and tossed in their beds,thinking about the golden goose and longing to see it.

  As soon as the first cock crew, up gets the oldest daughter.

  ‘It is so hot I really can’t sleep,’ said she, and went on tip-toe tothe stable, as quiet as pussy, for fear of waking Johnny.

  In the moonlight the golden goose was shining like a star.

  ‘I’ll take one of the pretty feathers,’ said the girl, and put out herhand to touch it But she could not pluck the feather and she could notpull her hand away!

  When the second cock crew, up got the second daughter.

  ‘It is far too hot to sleep,’ said she, and she ran downstairs to hersister. But as soon as she had touched her _she_ could not move a stepfrom the place!

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  Then the third cock crew, and up got the youngest daughter, and ran tothe stable after her sisters.

  ‘Take care! don’t come here!’ they cried, but she did not understand,and she thought--

  ‘Why, if they are
there, I can go too!’

  But as soon as she touched her sisters, there she was, as fast as couldbe to the golden goose!

  A quarter of an hour later Johnny wakened, and stretched himself, andshook some of the straw out of his hair, and then took his goose underhis arm, and off he went, never noticing the girls, whom he had _not_left behind him.

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  They tried to stop him, but Johnny thought they wanted to rob him of hisgoose, and he ran, and they ran, and they all ran as fast as their legswould carry them.

  When they were out of the village, the girls were also out of breath,and they entreated Johnny to stop. So he said he would stop if theywould show him the right road, and the sun was up by the time theyreached the next village.

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  CHAPTER VIII.

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  UST at that very moment, who should come by who should come by but theVicar of Condé, with his two Curates, the Churchwardens, the Beadlehimself, the man that played the fiddle, the man that played the cornet,and all the wicked little choirboys.

  They were all marching off to sing the Mass on St. Calixtus’s day.

  The Vicar at that time was a stout clergyman, as big as a barrel, but hewas a very holy man, and very severe about good and modest behaviour.

  Naturally, when he saw the landlord’s daughters all strutting awaybehind our Johnny, he was Shocked!