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    The Sky Between You and Me

    Page 7
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      At the front of the room

      Smiling and laughing

      “What are you doing after this?” Cody asks

      Taking the ballot from my hand

      I have to run to the feed store to pick up some vaccinations.

      “Do you want me to go with you? We could get something to eat afterward.”

      I sift through his words

      wondering what he means by that

      do I look like I need to

      want to

      eat?

      I wish. I should get home. Dad’s hauling cattle tonight, so I have to feed.

      “All right. Your loss. I was thinking ice cream.”

      Cody stands and walks to the front of the room

      Where Micah is collecting the ballots

      “Want to go get something to eat after this?” Cody asks him.

      “Sure.” Micah grabs our ballots and shoves them into the shoe box

      With the slit on top

      “Want to come?” Micah asks Asia.

      “Of course,” Asia says. “Kierra, you should come too.”

      “I can’t. I rode in with Morgan today and—”

      “Come on. We can start brainstorming ideas for our fund-raiser,” Asia says.

      “I’ll give you a ride home,” Cody volunteers. “It’s not like we live that far apart.”

      Leaner

      Lighter

      Faster

      Mr. Welcome-to-the-Neighborhood is back

      “You’re sure you don’t want to come, Raesha?” Cody asks.

      I stand

      Grab my bag

      Well, I—

      “What?” Asia says. “You don’t want something to eat? That’s a shocker.”

      In that tone reserved

      For inside jokes

      About girls we just don’t

      Couldn’t possibly understand

      What with them being

      So vapid and dull

      “I can’t imagine you’re not hungry,” Asia continues.

      It’s not that—

      Asia turns away

      From the crater

      I have created

      Between her and me

      By not needing

      Wanting

      To eat

      So I remind myself

      Of the promise I made

      Not to be the person

      Who breaks this friendship

      This team

      In half

      It’s fine. I can go. I’ll just feed a little late.

      “Then let’s go,” Asia says.

      The gauntlet is thrown

      I follow her out the door

      Toward her truck

      Cody, Micah, and Kierra

      Right behind

      Better Left Unsaid

      There’s a spreadsheet in my head

      With columns for calories

      Type of food eaten

      And when

      Now it’s completely askew

      Because I have no idea

      How much lemonade

      I drank

      I know it’s crazy

      Obsessing like this

      Over an ounce

      Maybe four

      I wish I could reach through the space

      Between Asia and I

      And say

      Just that

      But instead we walk out to her truck

      Side by side

      Not talking about the comments she made

      The ones I’m choosing to ignore

      Knowing I can’t explain

      All of this crazy

      Going on

      In my head

      Tiny’s Hardware and More

      Cody and Micah pull up to the curb

      Asia parks

      Her truck close behind

      Close enough for me to see that Cody is driving

      With one hand on the steering wheel

      The other arm draped across the back of the seat

      His hand behind

      Around?

      Kierra’s shoulder

      I tell myself that last part is only my mind

      Playing tricks on me

      Because Cody wouldn’t

      Couldn’t do that

      To me

      “What are you getting?” Asia asks

      As she turns off the ignition

      Tucks her keys into the visor

      I don’t know.

      “It better be something.”

      Asia slams her door

      Harder than she needs to

      “It’s the hardware store, but they have the best ice cream in town,” Cody is saying,

      As he offers his hand to Kierra

      Helping her out of the truck

      That really isn’t jacked up enough

      To warrant

      This chivalrous gesture

      But I’m not going to get mad

      The last thing I need

      Is to look as crazy on the outside

      As I feel

      On the inside

      What are you buying me?

      I ask as I catch up to Cody

      Sliding my hand into his back pocket

      He wraps his arm around my waist

      “Whatever you want,” he says and lays a kiss on my cheek. “As long as you’re willing to share.”

      I’m willing to share ice cream

      But that’s it

      I think

      Cutting my eyes at Kierra

      As I step through the door

      Cody is holding

      For me

      Asia and Micah are already inside

      Side by side

      In front of the freezer case

      Debating

      Toffee Mocha Crunch

      Versus

      Salted Carmel Swirl

      We step into line behind them

      Two plus two

      And then there was one

      Which makes it easier to forget

      His hand on her shoulder

      When she’s standing

      Behind us

      Alone

      The front door clanks open

      Asia’s uncle Bud steps into the store

      “Now here’s trouble,” he says.

      Giving Asia’s shoulder a quick squeeze

      “Hi, Uncle Bud.”

      “After-school ice cream?” he asks.

      “Of course,” Asia says.

      “Well, if anyone wants to help fix fence afterward, I can put you to work,” Bud offers.

      “No thanks,” Cody says.

      “I’m good,” Micah seconds.

      “Don’t say I didn’t ask.”

      Bud laughs

      Continues on his way

      Heads straight to the back of the store

      Where the tools

      That are the biggest part of the “More”

      Are kept

      I was hoping there would be more talk

      More back and forth

      Giving me time to think

      About how to handle this ice cream

      Situation

      My fingertips tap

      tap

      tap

      Against my sternum

      As Cody guides me toward the freezer case

      Arm still around my waist

      “I’m a purist,” he’s explaining over his shoulder to Kierra.

      Because I’m sure she cares

      “Dutch chocolate. No toppings. The only thing I ever get,” he says.

      I scan my choices

      As he talks

      Wishing I knew which flavors have the most calories

     
    ; Which ones have the least

      I’m guessing vanilla

      Hope I’m right

      As I make my way to the end of the rainbow of ice cream

      There are two new

      “Check us out!” flavors

      Raspberry and marionberry sorbet

      One hundred percent fruit juice

      Meaning no milk

      No fat

      I feel like I’m going to cry

      So happy that my decision

      Is made

      Easy Out

      Bud emerges from the back

      Fence stretcher in one hand

      Wallet in the other

      Pings the silver bell on the counter

      Smiling toward the back door

      As he lays his purchase

      Next to the cash register

      “What’s somebody got to do to get some service around here?”

      “Now what’s all the commotion about?” Tiny calls

      Coming in through the stockroom door behind the counter with Sniffles

      His little red terrier

      Tucked under one arm

      Just as small

      As Tiny is huge

      “Bud. What you making all this noise for? You’re going to run off all my customers.”

      Tiny hands Asia a container

      Of freshly cut strawberries

      “Well hello, darlin’.”

      “Hi, Grandpa,” Asia says as she puts the container

      In the empty space

      On the toppings bar

      Between the Oreo crumbles and the sprinkles

      Tiny sets down his dog

      Pulls his apron off the hook on the wall

      Washes his hands in the sink opposite the freezer case

      Asking after our families

      As he grabs an ice cream scoop

      Reminding us to keep up our grades

      As he fills our cups and cones

      With more ice cream

      Then he should

      Go ahead, Kierra, I say

      Acting as if I’m still deciding

      Watching as she orders not one flavor

      But two

      Wondering how

      Why

      Anyone would want to eat

      All that

      May I have the raspberry?

      Acting like the decision is no big deal

      Excited to try a new flavor

      “The sorbet?” Tiny says. “Excellent choice.”

      Bud yawns

      Stretches his arms

      Cracks his back

      “Keep your shirt on, Ornery!” Tiny chides

      As he hands me my cup of sorbet

      And ambles over to the cash register

      Where Bud is drumming his fingers on the counter

      I stop at the toppings bar

      Loading my cup with strawberries

      The part of the treat

      I might actually eat

      Before going out to the front porch

      That wraps around the store

      Where everyone sits

      In wrought-iron chairs

      Around a glass chip mosaic table

      Sniffles has followed me out

      Wiggling his way between my feet

      As I sit down next to Cody

      I lean down and

      Rub Sniffles around the ears

      Catching the tip of his tail with the ends of my fingers

      As he makes his way over to Asia

      Asia scoops up Sniffles

      Sets him on the table

      “Asia! Why do you have to put him up here like that?” Micah complains.

      “Don’t be a baby. Everyone is holding their ice cream anyway,” Asia says.

      Which is lucky

      Because just as she says it

      Sniffles wrinkles his nose

      Lets loose with a sneeze

      That nearly knocks him off the table

      “Poor little guy. Who ever heard of a dog with hay fever?” Asia croons

      As she runs her hands up and down Sniffles’s sides

      “Perfect. Now there’s a sneezing dog on the table,” Micah groans.

      “Such a drama queen,” Asia sighs

      Giving Sniffles one last scratch on his back.

      He makes his way over to me

      For more attention

      I pull a napkin

      From the dispenser in the middle of the table

      Thinking I’ll be funny

      And pretend to wipe his nose

      But I’m too slow

      To catch the second sneeze that comes

      Complete with a shower of doggie slobber

      That sprays my sorbet and the table

      Sniffles’s tail goes into overdrive

      He clamors into my lap

      Rubbing his whiskery face against my chest

      Cody is laughing

      Micah and Kierra are too

      As I push my away sorbet

      If I wasn’t so grateful

      To this little dog

      The fact that Asia isn’t laughing

      At all

      Would bother me

      More

      Broken Bales

      Dad loaded the hay before he left

      Squaring the bales

      On the bed of the truck

      Making it easy for me

      And Blue

      Riding tall in the passenger seat

      To find the perfect spot

      On the crest of the hill

      At the top of the pasture

      Where I can put the truck into neutral

      So Blue and I can run around

      Hop on the bed

      As the truck rolls forward

      Slow enough for me to cut the twine

      Kick the bales

      Into the pasture

      Where they break apart

      For the cattle trailing along behind

      First one bale

      Then the next

      Until they’re gone

      Save three

      I jump over the side of the bed

      Sliding back into the driver’s seat

      Catching a glimpse of Blue in the rearview mirror

      Dashing back and forth

      In the truck bed

      Barking at the cattle

      Reminding them that he’ll be back

      To head

      To heel

      To pen them

      Next time need be

      I swing the door shut

      Pop the truck

      Back into gear

      Making my way toward

      The horses

      Already gathering at the gate

      In front of the barn

      Knowing that the bales with the sweetest hay

      Have been stashed against the cab

      Saved

      Just for them

      I count the horses down

      Six

      Five

      Four

      Coming up short

      Just before

      One

      Scanning the fence line

      For a break in the wire

      I see something worse

      Than an hour or two

      Of fixing fence

      The silhouette of a roan

      Head down

      In the shadow of a tree

      Rocky

      The one horse

      The only horse

      Neither Dad or I

      Ride

      Knowing we should

      But not having the heart

      To climb on this gelding

      With the rose red
    mane

      Who went off his feed

      After my mom

      Died

      Dad said he would eat

      Eventually

      But I wasn’t sure

      Couldn’t take watching

      Another body

      Whittled

      Down to bones

      So I filled buckets with bran mash

      Cut up apples

      Mixed them with molasses and cob grain

      Put alfalfa cubes dusted with brown sugar

      In a black rubber feeder

      And sat in the glow of the harvest moon

      With him

      Night after night

      As first I just sat

      On the gate

      With the bucket of feed

      First one type

      Then the next

      In my lap

      Running my fingertips

      Over his muzzle

      As the crickets strummed their legs

      In a serenade

      But Rocky wouldn’t eat

      Just stared

      Past me

      At the house

      Wishing

      Waiting for

      Her

      To come out

      He didn’t know

      Couldn’t understand

      That she was gone

      In a never-coming-back sort of way

      How do you explain

      That to a horse?

      Maybe it was

      Being locked into the silence

      That comes with grief

      But one night

      I began to talk

      Telling Rocky stories

      About my mom

      Before she got sick

      Asking him questions

      What it felt like

      When she wrapped her arms around his neck

      In a cowgirl hug

      After they won Nationals

      Her senior year

      What she whispered to him

      When she pressed her cheek against his

      Before she swung into the saddle

      And he carried her down the aisle

      To marry

      My dad

      Had he been nervous

      When my mom carried me

      Nine days new

      Out to the pasture

      To meet him?

      At first it was one ear

      Twitching toward me

      The other trained

      On the house

      Still waiting

      Still wanting

      To see her

      But eventually

      His head turned

      His lips began to nibble

      At the treats

      In the bucket

      In my hands

      So that’s what I did

      Night after night

      Talking

      Sometimes even laughing

      With Rocky

      Remembering

      Her

      But now

      His head is down

      Hoof pawing the ground

     


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