Ten Reasons to Stay ((The Risky Hearts Duet) Book 1), Page 4

  “You mean you want an open marriage?” he asked.

  My stomach soured at the excitement in his tone. I felt like I was in this weird game of tug-o-war with that past and the future, not knowing where I wanted to stay put in.

  “I want you to be happy,” I admitted, unable to look at him. Not because I was afraid he’d see the truth in them, but because I was afraid he’d see the truth, and still do nothing.

  He squeezed my hand, searching my face. “Are you sure, Corinne? I don’t want you to agree if you’re not.”

  “Why? You’re going to cheat with her even if I don’t.”

  I didn’t mean to say that out loud. He winced, and I felt justified.

  “Besides, I’ve been talking to someone,” I added, eyes mapping the patterns within the swirls of black on the floor. “It only happened once, but I haven’t decided if I want it to happen again. Not until we label whatever this is.”

  He was quiet for a long moment. When I lifted my head, the shock on his face surprised me. Apparently, he wasn’t expecting to be on the receiving end. “Who?”

  I shook my head. “No names. That is the first rule.”

  “When?” he asked, eyes scrunched. A bitterness swirled inside them.

  I didn’t care. Almost enjoyed the reaction in a sick, twisted way. Maybe it’d make him rethink what he wanted knowing I could have the same thing. Hope warmed my veins.

  “No details either,” I said, feeling strength waking from its slumber, returning to my bones. I took that part of myself and held on tight, refusing to lose it again. “If we’re going to do this, we need to keep it as clean as possible. No drama,” I added, sticking my chin up. “One day a week. Thursdays. You’ll have the entire day to do whatever or whomever you please. Protection is a must. And, no matter what, we must be back in bed by midnight.”

  Silence flexed between us, stretching, taking its time. I was cold and unbending, like winter, freezing over all life and color in blinding shades of white. The warmth had left me, replaced by a slurry of chilling winds.

  “You’ve thought this through.” His tone was flat. Careful. Hesitant.

  “I have.” I thought about Cole. And I thought about Jack. And I thought about how I’d lived my entire life under someone’s thumb. A puppet on strings, being dictated around.

  I would try this open marriage thing, but not because Jack wanted it.

  But because I wanted it.

  He inhaled, and then exhaled. Ran his hands down the length of his pants. “Okay,” he said, resolution returning to his voice. “But I want you to know… I never slept with Jessica. The offer was there… but I meant it when I said I’d never cheat again.”

  I held my hand up as my heart splintered down the middle, remembering the email. “Cheating is more than just sticking your dick inside someone, Jack.”

  He winced.

  My thoughts were snipers, waiting to take me out. How could I believe him? How could I look at him straight? Did he want the open marriage because the offer was there? So he’d feel less guilty?

  “Is that why?” I asked, my anger simmering, building into a boil.

  “Why what?”

  “Why you want the open marriage.” My words sounded like they’d been dragged across sandpaper. My heart felt like it had been wrapped in barbed wire.

  He glanced down.

  There it was. The truth.

  “I love you, Corinne,” he said, reaching for my hand. “More than anything. This doesn’t have to be about sex. It’s just an open exploration. You know, I’ve done a little research on how to have a successful open relationship. It can lead to a happier, more fulfilled marriage. You’ll have an identity outside of us. They say communication is the best way to achieve this.”

  I pulled my hand from his. “We’re communicating now, aren’t we?”

  He stared at me, at a loss for words. We used to be so in sync with each other. Fit together like puzzle pieces. If one of us was feeling off, the other could sense it, even if we were miles apart. Sometimes, we’d dial each other at the same time, like we knew the other needed to talk.

  But that wasn’t the case anymore, and I so desperately wanted to get that back. To have him look at me the way he used to, his honey eyes swirling with affection.

  I stood, and then walked out of the room without a backward glance, leaving him to think.

  Not knowing what kind of storm I was heading into.

  “It isn’t the same without you,” Macy said on the other end of the line.

  “I know.” The phone was pressed between my ear and shoulder while I put away the contents from the box under the bathroom sink. Though the expression on my boss’ face when I told him to fuck off was pleasing, it was hard for me to celebrate knowing I’d be leaving my best friend behind.

  “What are you going to do now that you’re free from purgatory?”

  I pushed old shampoo bottles to the back of the cabinet. “I don’t know. With Jack’s new salary, there’s no need for me to work. I was thinking of taking it slow. Maybe take some classes in interior decorating.”

  “That sounds nice. So how’s the view?”

  I thought about the skyline that was lit up like sparkling diamonds. “Breathtaking,” I admitted. At first, I thought I’d hate the apartment and concrete jungle… but the city was growing on me. I liked that everything was within walking distance. That I could get lost amongst the hustle and bustle of the city sidewalks. There was a thrill in the air that was contagious. Airborne. Once ingested, I became one of them.

  She cleared her throat. “So…are you going to go through with it?”

  She was talking about Cole.

  My smile faltered. “I think so.” I scooted forward, so I could reach the back of the cabinet. “I set the terms with Jack. He was okay with it. Maybe… maybe this will be a good change.”

  I figured if I kept telling myself that lie, soon enough I’d start to believe it.

  “So he’s the actual guy from the profile?”

  “Yes.”

  “And Jack’s boss?”

  “Yes.”

  “And he put you up in an apartment?”

  “Yes.”

  A trickling of laughter tickled my ear. “Shit, Corinne. You know this sounds like some kinky, twisted-ass version of Pretty Woman, right?”

  My laughter danced with hers. I pushed away from the cabinet, leaning my back against the wall. “I never thought of it like that, but yeah.”

  “I just… I can’t believe it. You… quiet, timid you… you’re going to sleep with another man?”

  I stood. Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I felt like I didn’t know the person on the other side. The woman who made rules. The woman who was assertive with her feelings.

  But… maybe I could be her.

  “Nothing is set in stone. I haven’t even talked to him since that night. He might not even be interested anymore.”

  “Doubt it,” she said with a grunt. “You give a guy a vagina, and he would surely find the will to poke it.”

  I rolled my eyes at the visual, laughing.

  The phone beeped in my ear. I glanced down. It was my mom.

  “I have to go. My mom’s calling.”

  She let out a heavy sigh. “Fine,” she dragged out. “But promise me you’ll keep me posted. I want every juicy, horny detail.”

  “Okay,” I slipped out in between laughter.

  I switched over. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Darling, how is the new place? You must tell me all about it. Your father and I can’t wait to come visit. I already told Aunt Patty, and your uncle said…”

  Sinking back to the floor, I leaned against the wall as she chatted on. It would be a minute before I could get a word in. Mom loved to talk.

  It was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 5

  Cole

  Sweat trailed down the sides of my face as I waited for the elevator.

  Every morning I went for a five-mile jog t
o wake myself up. I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t. I’d marked a trail through Central Park, the winding curves and statues a welcomed distraction. Discipline was key to success, something my father drilled into me from an early age. A man was only as strong as his will.

  There was a small ding, and then the golden doors spread open, a short gust of wind chilling against my wet skin. I put my key into the slot, then turned it, pressing the button for the top floor. I’d been living in this building for nearly five years, since my company took off and became one of the leading brokerages in the city.

  I’d spent years pouring every inch of myself into the company, building it from the ground up. If it hadn’t had been for Dennis, my mentor, I doubt it would have ever seen the light of day. A farm boy from a small town contending with the best of them? I used the doubt to fuel me, until I was sitting on millions.

  I thought about my parents and what they’d think of me now with a painful ache. Fire licked against the back of my throat. It always did when I thought about them. It had been eight years since their accident. Since the call. A part of me died with them that day. One I didn’t think I’d ever get back. They meant everything to me. But my pain was buried beneath the hours I poured into work.

  Still, I might have left the farm, but the farm didn’t leave me.

  Once inside, I heard the shower going and groaned.

  She was still there.

  Setting my key down, I tried to remember her name. Was it Arianna? Maybe Allie? It started with an A.

  I’d met her the night before at a charity event. She blew me in the bathroom after I bought her a drink, and then hopped into the back of my limo, riding my dick on the way here. We fucked again in the living room before we passed out next to each other on the floor in front of the fire.

  I didn’t let women into my bed. That was my space, and there were too many faces that passed through to share my sheets with.

  Stalking into the bathroom, I took my shoes off. I didn’t like it when they stayed over. Getting them to leave was a pain in the ass.

  “Hey, sexy,” she said the moment I stepped into the shower. “I was wondering when you’d get back.”

  Standing under the warm spray of water, I let it wash away the sweat. I had less than an hour to get to work, and I didn’t feel like entertaining.

  I felt her soapy hands wrap around my dick.

  She wanted one for the road.

  Grabbing a fistful of her hair, I pulled her head back. Waited for her to part her lips, then shoved my thumb into her mouth as her hands worked gloriously around my dick.

  A second later, she dropped to her knees, taking me inside the warmth of her mouth. My head hit the wall behind me as the water beat against us. Damn, the suction was exactly right. Mouth so wet and hot.

  Not wanting to prolong her stay, I came quickly, not holding back.

  She was a swallower.

  Licking her lips, she stood, batting her lashes. What the hell was her name again?

  “So…” she said while I started to scrub shampoo through my hair. “You want to grab breakfast?”

  “Can’t.”

  I stepped under the water again, grateful that it drowned her out.

  She was still there when I finished.

  “How about lunch?”

  After I cranked the handle to off, I stepped out, grabbing a towel. Handing it to her, I moved to pick up another for myself and dried off.

  “Dinner?”

  Damn, she was persistent. “Look,” I said, turning in her direction. “This was fun, but—”

  Her face went flat. “But that’s it.” She shook her head, huffing, and then left the bathroom. No doubt in search of her clothes from the night before.

  Following her out, I moved to open a drawer I kept stocked for moments like these, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt. I might have conditions, but I wasn’t heartless. “Here,” I said, handing the clothes to her. “No use wearing the same thing you wore last night.”

  “Gee, thanks.” She slipped the pants on under her towel, and then pulled the T-shirt on. After folding her dress, she picked up her heels, clutching them to her chest.

  A steely pang of regret slid through me for not remembering her name. It always did when they wore that expression, like I’d just dumped them on the side of the road.

  That was the downside of hooking up with women like her. Under the moonlight, their reservations left them. A feral side came out to play, tricking them into thinking they were fine with the conditions. But once the sun made its appearance, those inhibitions seemed to be put to bed with the moon, leaving them vulnerable and fragile.

  I softened my tone. Gave her my full attention. She was beautiful. Soft curves. Crisp, green eyes framed by strawberry-blonde hair. “I can arrange for a driver to take you home if you want.”

  Her gaze flickered down. Toes turned in. “Fine.”

  Heading into the kitchen, I picked up the phone and dialed for the front desk. “Good morning, Henry. Can you please have a car waiting out front? I have a guest who needs a ride home.”

  I tossed a smile over my shoulder in her direction, but the curve was short-lived.

  Her eyebrows scrunched, lips puckered with disgust. “Guest?” she asked. “Do you even know my name?”

  Damn it.

  I hung up. Kept my back to her, palms splayed against the marble counter.

  She made a noise, snarky and thick. “Nice. Rebecca, in case you were wondering.”

  I guess I was wrong about it stating with an A. Guilt rivaled against frustration.

  She paused, her footsteps carrying her to the front door. “Thanks for the ride…” she said in a scathing tone as the door shut behind her.

  Letting out a small breath, I picked up the phone once more and called the front desk back. “Yes, Henry, can you send up the paper and breakfast, please? Thanks.”

  “You have a board meeting later today, and dinner with the mayor tonight,” Bianca said, trailing me out of the office. The vanilla scent of her perfume wafted around me as she tried to keep in line with my steps. “I already sent for your dry cleaning. It will be hung up by the time you return home.” She stopped, which in turn caused me to pause and lift an eyebrow.

  “What is it?”

  She was frantically scrolling through her iPad.

  “B?”

  “Nothing. Just had to make sure your spot was reserved for tonight.”

  The pleased expression on her face made me smile. Bianca was my lifeline. She’d been with me since the beginning, always by my side, picking up every piece I dropped. And never in all that time did the lines between boss and employee ever blur. I had too much respect for her to pursue anything, and she had a fiancé at home that would gut me if I ever tried.

  “Thank you, B. Please, send it to my calendar.” I was already running late.

  By the time I made it, Dennis was sitting at our usual table where we met once a week to eat and catch up. It was a dingy little bar downtown with sticky floors and scratched up tables. Dennis would always say, “This is what a bar should be. Not like those uppity, posh places you like.”

  He’d taken me under his wing when I first came to the city, working under him fresh out of college. He was a rounded man with white hair. Deep set eyes with wrinkles around the corners. A soft smile that could easily be mistaken for a pushover. Those who knew him, though, knew better. He might have been kind, but he was the devil when it came to making deals.

  I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment our relationship changed from business to family. Maybe it was after my parents passed. Those were the darkest moments of my life. Moments I still woke up drenched in sweat from. He’d been there with me through it all. Helped me make the hardest decisions a child never wanted to have to make.

  He and his wife couldn’t have kids. Maybe it was out of pity, but they took me in and sort of claimed me as their own after that.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I said as
I sat, setting my briefcase beside me. A spread of pretzels and cheese was already on the table, alongside our favorite beers. He must have already taken over the jukebox, because the hearty strums from Van Halen’s guitar pulsed throughout the small space.

  “No worries. I’m just an old man with little time left on his hands, but who’s counting?”

  I flattened my smile. He loved to goad me.

  His chuckle was warm as he reached for a pretzel. “How’s business?”

  I took a sip from my beer, the foamy chill welcomed down my throat. Summers in New York were brutal for men like me who ran on the hotter side. Any cold beverage was a blessing.

  “The usual. You? Any new deals?”

  His eyes twinkled. “I’d have to shoot you if I told you.”

  I flashed a grin. “That’s what I love to hear, Dennis. A sure sign I need to get my people to dig deeper because you and I know once I figure out who you’re in bed with, they’ll be taken right out from under you.”

  He gave a bark of laughter, clutching his stomach. He loved the competition as much as I did, and our companies were at the top of them all, trying to one up each other.

  “You know it’s true. I learned from the best.”

  “Oh, my boy. This old bastard still has plenty of tricks up his sleeve. Just you wait.”

  “I’m counting on it,” I said seriously. Dennis wasn’t in the best condition health wise. Just as he went big with his business deals, he did the same with booze and good food.

  We spent the next hour bullshitting, before I had to head out for my board meeting. Every day it was the same. Meetings. Phone calls. Paper work. Deals. More meetings. My life was orderly. Predictable. Dull.

  Most days, I didn’t mind it. There was enough thrill in making deals that it kept things interesting, but I found myself growing bored lately. Maybe that was why I’d used Tinder more often than not. Searching for the next fix that chased away the loneliness.

  After the day was over, I rode the elevator down to the lobby, about to head out to meet the mayor. My nose was stuck in my phone when the elevator doors opened.