Breaking the Wrong, Page 2

  I placed my chin back onto my cold palm and quietly observed her. She was looking me up and down in that way that most girls did. It always made me paranoid—making me question if there was something on my face or if a piece of hair was sticking straight up. But this time, I leaned forward and ignored all my self-conscious thoughts.

  “You two have a story,” I stated.

  My words make her sit up straight. She lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow. “Yeah. Doesn’t everyone have a story?”

  She dodged my statement with a question. Severine was tough to crack.

  Tosha leaned her head against my shoulder. “I told Severine you were a people watcher.”

  “Severine?” I said her name wrong on purpose. Internally, I had been rolling the name around, trying to pronounce it right. I liked it. It was foreign, unique—completely her.

  She sighed and I knew she was used to it being said wrong. “No. Seh-vreen.”

  I drummed my fingers against my cheek. “A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

  She played with the material of her gloves and looked away. “Mmm...thanks.”

  Finally, I asked the question I was dying to know the answer to. “That guy that ran away all coward-like...is he your boyfriend?”

  Severine laughed bitterly and looked away. “Ah, that’s a big no.”

  “So he made a mistake?” I asked.

  Her green eyes immediately narrowed. “You tell me, Watch-Woman Emilia. What did you see from our exchange?”

  “I saw a guy wanting your attention. I noticed a girl who looked broken but strong at the same time.” I kept my hands busy and flicked a piece of snow off the table. “By the way, any girl that can hold her own is a friend of mine.”

  I held out my hand and she shook it firmly.

  She pulled back and her shoulders relaxed. “Tosha said you’re thinking about going here next year?”

  I had made my decision before I ever stepped foot on campus. But now I knew, without a doubt, this was the place I had to be.

  “I’m not thinking about it. I am coming here.” I smiled and looked around. “This place is going to offer me so much.”

  That was my first conversation with Severine Blake. Back then I had hope that she would come around to me. But as I stand in the doorway of the dorm room we will share together, I know that I was far off. In the few seconds that I have been in this small room, Severine already has a wall built up.

  She looks me up and down, taking in my red blouse and white shorts. I spent an hour picking out an outfit that would be move-in appropriate. This outfit would have passed in New York, but here, I stand out.

  “Uh ... am I missing something here?” she asks.

  Severine is staring at me, visibly shaken. I let out a deep sigh and keep my eyes on her. “I thought you’d know by now. I’m your new roommate.”

  It took a lot of maneuvering and planning to become Severine’s roommate. There is the option to rent an apartment twice the size of this small room, but if I want to follow through with my plan I need to room with Severine.

  My new roomie looks visibly shaken. The two of us silently look at each other. And even for me, someone who prefers silence over conversation, it’s starting to feel awkward.

  Someone coughs close to my left. I jerk my head instantly in the direction. Thayer Sloan stands tall, leaning against the wall. I know he’s dating Severine. Google can tell you a lot. Type in Thayer Sloan and you’ll have Severine Blake attached to him.

  “Do you guys want me to leave?” he asks the two of us.

  His demeanor is friendly and I know he doesn’t recognize me. If he did, it would show on his face in seconds. He’d become awkward. I’ve come to expect that from everyone.

  Thayer is a Sloan and I want him to go. Severine grabs his hand. “No!” she says urgently. She gives me a once over and turns back to Thayer. “No, you can stay.”

  I’m not welcome here, but I’m not going anywhere. I stretch my lips into a plastic smile. It’s one my mom would be proud of—she taught me everything I know. There is an art to appearing confident. Nothing easy about it.

  I know some people are just born with kindness. It comes to them as natural as breathing. I used to be one of those people. Fortunately, Joy Wentworth raised me. No one is more skilled at disguising who they really are than my mother.

  Thayer steps forward and points at the door. “You need help with anything else?” he asks me.

  My fingers tap against my bare thigh. I want to tell him no, but for appearance’ sake, I nod my head and drop the heavy laundry basket onto the naked mattress on the left. “That’d be great. I have a few more boxes in my car.” I dig my keys out of my pocket. The whole time, Severine stares at me with narrowed eyes. I toss my keys to him. “Look for the red convertible.”

  He smiles kindly and turns to go away.

  I stop him with my words. “Thank you, by the way.”

  “No problem.” He brushes a hand down Severine’s arm affectionately. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, Blake.”

  She gives him a curt nod and he leaves. I turn away from her and look around at the small space I will be calling home for the next few months. The walls are a stained white, like a blank canvas. Two twin beds sit next to each other, separated by a brown end table. Sandwiched at the edges of the beds are two small desks. It isn’t much, but when is any dorm room spacious?

  I wipe my palms on my shorts and turn to look at Severine. “I understand there was a mix up with the whole rooming situation.” I smile nervously. Severine says nothing in response and I continue, “It all got cleared up, and now I’m here.”

  There was no mix up. Not unless you consider me harassing the RA into letting me switch roommates.

  Severine’s lips form a tight line, and her hands settle on her hips. I think she is attempting to figure me out. “I knew you mentioned transferring last winter, but what are the odds that we’d become roommates?” she asks me thoughtfully.

  It was like she was testing me, waiting to see if I would give her the right answer. I turn back to my little laundry basket and move items around as I answer. “Crazy, isn’t it?”

  “Very crazy,” Severine says cryptically.

  I ignore her response and ask her another question. “That tall dude ... is he your boyfriend?”

  She nods her head slowly. “Yes, I’m with Thayer.”

  Severine is talking to me, answering my questions, but she is detached from our conversation. Her responses are so clipped and blunt I can tell she’s trying to end this conversation quickly.

  “He seems nice,” I comment. It’s almost physically painful to admit that any Sloan is nice.

  Her mouth twitches up and she drops to her bed, crossing her legs at the ankle. “He can have his moments,” she says gently. “Overall, he’s pretty great.”

  I don’t think she even realizes that she’s talking to me anymore. A light smile is on her face as she looks down at the ground, probably thinking about him. This Thayer guy had only been out of the room for a few minutes and she was already mooning over him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started doodling their names in her notebook with hearts around them. This Severine, the one across from me, was completely different from the Severine I met months ago.

  “How long have you been with him?” I ask.

  My question yanks her from her lovestruck stupor. “Not long, but things are good between us. Really good,” she pronounces slowly.

  I give her a kind smile, but she doesn’t buy it. Severine looks ready to pounce on me, like a threatened tiger.

  Moments later Thayer walks through the door, carrying the rest of my boxes. Severine perks up and retracts her claws that had been seconds away from taking a big swipe out of me. He balances the boxes on the desk and tosses my keys at me. I catch them with one hand.

  “Thanks again,” I say.

  Thayer gives me a friendly smile and wraps an arm around Severine. “No problem.” He turns to Severine and gives he
r a firm kiss on the lips. I’m a forgotten thought, he only sees Severine.

  I walk over to the rest of my boxes and give the two of them a little bit of privacy, but the whole time I’m tuning in to their conversation.

  “I need to get back. Ben called, he wants to shoot hoops.”

  I wait for Severine’s protest in three, two, one...

  “Right now?” she asks.

  He lowers his voice, trying to whisper. But that’s the thing. Guys can never whisper. It’s like they’re born with invisible earmuffs over their ears.

  “Are you okay?” I hear him ask Severine. “You’re acting weird.”

  The silence is awkward. I know the two of them are staring at me. They’re done talking and are now communicating with their eyes. A lift of the brow, quick nudge of the head, then a brief frown. Everyone has done it at least once. I do it all the time with Eden when we want to comment on someone that’s standing right next to us.

  I hear Severine sigh before there is more silence.

  Finally, Thayer clears his throat and talks in my direction. “All right, I’m going.” I turn back and face the two of them.

  “It was nice to meet you—” Thayer draws out.

  Keeping a smile on my face I say, “Emilia.”

  He shakes my hand firmly. “Well, nice to meet you, Emilia.” He backs away and gives a small nod. “See you guys later.”

  When he leaves, the room feels smaller. I grab the sheets and start making my new bed. The mattress creaks noisily. I have no doubt that I’ll wake up tomorrow with stiff muscles.

  “So what is your impression of the campus so far?” Severine asks.

  I lift my head up and study her. She’s still sitting on her bed, but her question came out of nowhere. “Pretty much the same as my old college,” I say.

  “Where did you grow up?”

  Underneath her words, there are so many needles waiting to pop a hole in my story.

  “New York,” I say fondly.

  Sadness creeps up like a thief and leaves me nothing but melancholy. Now I miss my family—especially Eden.

  Severine whistles and picks up the remote to her television. “Pretty far from home.”

  I lift a shoulder and focus on making my bed. “I wanted a change.”

  “Why is that?”

  My hands stop smoothing out the sheets and I mull over her question, choosing my words carefully. “Back home holds a lot of memories. This college is perfect.” I turn and look her in the eye. “It has all I need.”

  Severine stares at me for a long minute—probably the longest minute of my life. I’ve never been good at being critiqued by someone. My skin prickles, and my heart starts to pound nervously.

  She doesn’t care—she’s in the middle of her interrogation. “Are you here because of Macsen?” she asks sharply.

  I have two options. I can feign confusion and pretend I don’t know Macsen or I can tell the truth. I glance one more time at Severine. I don’t know her—or where her loyalties lie. Pretending is the route I’m taking. “No.”

  Severine calls me out. “Doesn’t make sense,” she counters. “I saw you two back in May outside the coffee house. You two seemed pretty friendly.”

  I grind my teeth. Severine’s memory is sharp. “He dropped his wallet. I found it next to the garbage can and gave it to him.”

  Her lips pucker in thought as she takes in my explanation. But I’m actually telling her the truth.

  Talking to him outside the coffee shop was a chance encounter. My trip to Kentucky wasn’t to see him, it was a last minute trip to meet Tosha and become familiar with the campus. Instead of flying, I made a roadtrip out of it and drove the thirteen hours by myself. I used that time to think and think and think some more, until my brain was ready to explode from thinking.

  When I arrived in Horse Country, I stopped at the coffee shop to meet Tosha. She was late and I sat down to wait. Macsen walked through the door a few minutes later and made a beeline straight to Severine’s table. She had been across the room from me, talking with her friend, completely unaware that I was even there.

  The minute Macsen sat down, and Severine looked up, I did what came natural to me.

  I watched.

  They only talked for a few minutes and it seemed uncomfortable. The two of them kept looking away, and Severine spent more of her time crushing the straw wrapper than looking at Macsen. He got up a few minutes later and paused at the glass door to grab his keys. His wallet fell out, and immediately, my eyes zoomed on the brown, worn out wallet.

  He slipped out the door, and I made my move. If I didn’t snatch up the moment and take it, there was something wrong with me.

  So, I followed him out to the parking lot and handed him his wallet. We barely talked. He spent most of his time glancing back at the coffee shop and I didn’t press him to talk. I knew there would be many more opportunities.

  I blink and look at Severine’s expectant face. “That was the first time I met him.”

  It soothes Severine, for the moment, at least. She sits up on her bed and toys with the frayed hem of her blue jean shorts. “Look, I know we’ve started off on the wrong foot.” I nod my head. “But I don’t want there to be this strange tension around us.”

  “Neither do I,” I reply.

  “I was just freaked out when I saw you at the coffee house,” she explains. “And when you said you were my roommate, I didn’t know what to think.”

  “Do you think I’m out to get you?” I ask teasingly.

  Her green eyes are sharp. “Yes.”

  “Well, I’m not.” I step forward and tentatively sit down on her bed. “I’m out to get no one. Promise.”

  Lying is easy when you get the hang of it. My words to Severine, the roommate that is just starting to trust me, will be my first lie of many.

  But in my mind, the less she knows the better.

  Chapter Two

  MACSEN

  Why am I here?

  Everyone around me either talks to the person next to them or walks quietly to their next class. They all seem excited.

  But most of them probably haven’t cheated on their ex-girlfriend and driven her into the arms of their brother, making them a couple. A couple that goes to the exact same college as me.

  And if they did fuck up and make the same mistakes I did, they sure as hell wouldn’t stick around. But that’s the difference between us. They all have the tiny voice in their heads that tells them to do the right thing.

  Everyone says that voice is your conscience. I think I once had a conscience, but a long time ago I told mine to fuck off and did what I wanted.

  “I’m ready for this class,” my roommate Chris says as he checks out some random girl. “The only reason I’m taking Psych 386—“

  I correct him as we walk through the doorway into the open classroom. “Psych 313. How do you not know the course you’re taking?”

  He shrugs and winks over at a girl.

  Last year Chris, Thayer and I shared an apartment. But Thayer moved out last year after I fucked up. And now it’s just Chris and me.

  For the most part, Chris knows my backstory with Thayer. But he doesn’t know all of it.

  He doesn’t know that when I was a kid I broke our family apart with one simple lie. Or that I lived with my mom, Laurena, my whole childhood, and that Thayer and my older brother, Mathias, lived with my dad.

  He doesn’t know that I was molded by a woman who believes that lies will get you everything you want.

  He also doesn’t know that the only reason I transferred here last year was to be closer to Thayer.

  If he did, he’d realize just how fucked up my family really is and just how far back our pain goes.

  We walk down the steps. He nudges me as I look for a place to sit. “Tim told me that the teacher is…” He cups his hands out in front of him and grins. “If you know what I mean.” I stare at him with a dull expression. “I think I cracked your code.”

  Chris laug
hs loudly and slaps me on the back. The few people settled in their seats look our way. One of them is Haley. Besides Chris, she’s the only friend I have on campus, and probably the only female on campus that doesn’t curl her lip in disgust when my name’s mentioned.

  It’s the whole ‘women’s unity’ shit because half of the girls glaring at me don’t even know who I am—they just know theyshould hate me.

  I lift my hand in Haley’s direction. She smiles softly and resumes talking to the girl sitting behind her.

  All I see of this girl is hair. So much fucking hair.

  It blocks most of my view. All I can make out is the upturn of her nose, the slant of her eye, and her lips.

  I keep walking and don’t give her another glance.

  The front row is empty. No one ever sits down here and that’s the only reason I choose this spot every time. Chris slides into the row behind me.

  I pull out my book. Not even a minute later, he’s flicking me on the shoulder.

  “Psst ... dude.” I ignore him. “Dude,” he persists. ”

  “What?”

  Chris is leaning back and looking over in Haley’s direction. “Who’s that girl your stalker is talking to?”

  I know exactly who he’s talking about. “Haley is not my stalker.”

  “Haley is a complete stalker,” he argues. “Freaks me the hell out. But seriously, who’s that girl? She’s fucking—”

  I tune him out. From where I’m sitting, I can see more of the girl. She’s something to look at. Big eyes and expressive lips that are slightly parted in thought. I look at Chris and I know he’s thinking the same perverted thoughts. She looks over at us, like she knows what we’re thinking. Her sharp brown eyes land on me for a second, and I think she has sized me up with just one look.

  She appears innocent enough, but there’s something there. This girl has a sting—she’ll leave a mark on most guys.

  That makes me open my book back up and keep reading.

  When Chris taps me on the shoulder a few seconds later, I don’t budge. He talks to my back. “Am I right?”

  I shrug. “I guess.”

  “You guess?” He laughs. “Did you see the size of her ti-”