RUSS
Oh, boy, now. That’s a nice setup.
JIM
I betcha.
RUSS
And spacious, that’s the thing. And carpeted? And I got a look at that office they’re putting me in. Tell you what I thought to myself, I thought what the heck do ya do with all this space? Corner office. Windows two sides. But the space is the primary – That is just an … extravagant amount of space.
JIM
Elbow room.
RUSS
Other thing is, once we get situated up in the new place. The time it takes? Driveway to the parking lot? Know what that’s gonna take me?
JIM
Five minutes.
RUSS
Six and a half.
JIM
Close enough.
RUSS
Timed it. Door to door.
JIM
Roll outa bed and boom.
RUSS
And Tom Perricone. I don’t know if you know Tom. Colleague of mine. Now, he’s going to relocate to that same office and they live right down here offa Larabee. You know what that’s gonna take him on the expressway?
JIM
That’s a drive.
RUSS
Thirty-five minutes. And that’s no traffic.
JIM
Well, Judy and I are sure gonna miss having you two around.
RUSS
Well … Yeah.
(Awkward pause.)
JIM
(lowers voice, secretively)
And how’s Bev doing?
RUSS
Oh, you know. Bev loves a project.
JIM
Keep her occupied.
RUSS
The mind occupied.
JIM
What, does she worry a lot?
RUSS
No. No more than –
JIM
About you?
RUSS
Me? No.
JIM
Ya seem good to me.
RUSS
I meant – you know how she gets.
JIM
Sure.
RUSS
Overexcited.
JIM
I can see that.
RUSS
Worked up over things. Minor things.
JIM
Things like?
RUSS
Oh, you know.
JIM
Not calling yourself a minor thing, are you?
RUSS
(beat, slightly irritated)
No, I didn’t – I meant things like –
JIM
(chuckles)
Do you consider yourself a minor thing?
RUSS
Jim, I didn’t – Well, actually, in the grand scheme of things I don’t think any one of us is, uh … particularly – did Bev ask you to come over?
JIM
Nope.
RUSS
I mean, good to see you. Great to see you.
JIM
I mean, we ran into each other coupla days ago. Got to talking.
RUSS
Uh-huh.
JIM
Little about you. Since she cares about you.
RUSS
Right. Right.
(RUSS looks for BEV.)
RUSS
’The heck’s she’s doing in there?
JIM
Everybody cares about you, Russ.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yup. Well. Tell ya what I think. And I’m not a psychiatrist or anything but I do think a lotta people today have this tendency, tendency to brood about stuff, which, if you ask me, is, is, is - well, short answer, it’s not productive. And what I’d say to these people, were I to have a degree in psychiatry, I think my advice would be maybe, get up offa your rear end and do something.
JIM
Huh.
RUSS
Be my solution.
JIM
Uh-huh.
RUSS
Of course, what do I know?
JIM
I think you know plenty.
(Beat. RUSS looks toward kitchen.)
RUSS
(calling)
Hey, Bev?
JIM
Like, I think you know your son was a good man, no matter what. Hero to his country. Nothing changes that.
RUSS
Yup yup yup.
JIM
And I also think you know that sometimes talking about things that happen, painful things, maybe –
RUSS
Uh, you don’t happen to have a degree in psychiatry either, do you, Jim?
(JIM stares.)
RUSS
No? Just checking.
JIM
We all suffer, you know. Not like you and Bev, maybe, but –
RUSS
But, see, since what I’m doing here is, see, since I’m just minding my own business – (cont’d.)
JIM
(overlapping)
But it doesn’t hurt –
RUSS
(continuous)
– sorta seems to me you might save yourself the effort worrying about things you don’t need to concern yourself with and furthermore – (cont’d.)
JIM
(overlapping)
He’s in a better place, Russ.
RUSS
(cont’d.)
– if you do keep going on about those things, Jim, well, I hate to have to put it this way, but what I think I might have to do is … uh, politely ask you to uh, (clears his throat) …well, to go fuck yourself.
(Pause.)
JIM
Not sure there’s a polite way to ask that.
(RUSS rises to exit.)
RUSS
(embarrassed)
Okay? So.
JIM
I just can’t believe Kenneth would’ve wanted his own father to –
RUSS
(maintaining calm)
Yup. Yup. So, you can go fuck yourself okay?
(BEV enters with JIM’s iced tea.)
BEV
So wait. So if it’s Napoli in Italian, then wouldn’t adding an “E” before the “A” just seem superfluo- What’s happening?
JIM
Bev, I believe I will hit the road.
BEV
What are you – ? Russ?
RUSS
Going upstairs.
BEV
What happened?
JIM
Not to worry.
BEV
(to RUSS)
What did you do?
JIM
Another time.
BEV
(to RUSS)
Come back here.
JIM
(overlapping, to BEV)
No no. Russ made his feelings clear in – (cont’d.)
BEV
(overlapping, quietly to RUSS)
Why are you being like this?
JIM
(continuous)
– no uncertain terms.
RUSS
(to BEV)
Going up, now.
JIM
Terms maybe more appropriate for the locker room than the –
BEV
I told you so. I told you what it’s like. And he uses these ugly words in other people’s presence and I’m not some kind of matron, but what in the world is wrong with civility?
RUSS
Honey? I am not going to stand here with you and Jim and discuss –(cont’d.)
BEV
(overlapping)
Well, you’re being ugly, and I don’t like ugliness.
RUSS
(continuous)
– private matters, matters that are between me and the memory of my son –
BEV
(to JIM, overlapping)
I think his mind has been affected, I really do.
RUSS
(continuous, overlapping)
– and if the two of you want to talk about Kenneth
on your own time, if that gives you some kind you comfort –
BEV
And what’s wrong with comfort? Are we not allowed any comfort anymore?
RUSS
Well, Kenneth didn’t get a whole lotta comfort, did he?
BEV
He was sick, Russ! And for you to use nasty words to Jim –
JIM
Nothing I haven’t heard before.
RUSS
(moving upstairs)
Changing my shirt.
JIM
I was in the service, too, you know.
RUSS
(bitter laugh)
Oh right. And tell me again. How many people did you kill?
BEV
Oh, for God’s sake, stop it!!
RUSS
Sat behind a desk, didn’cha? Goddamn coward.
(The doorbell rings. All stand in silence. BEV covers her mouth. At the front door, we can see ALBEKT peer through a small window.)
ALBERT
(from off)
Hello?
(And still no one moves.)
ALBERT
Anybody home?
(BEV looks at JIM. JIM moves to open the door.)
JIM
Afternoon.
ALBERT
(to JIM)
Uh, how d’you do? I’m just here to –
BEV
Francine? Albert’s here.
FRANCINE
(calling, from off)
Yes ma’am. I’m coming.
BEV
She’s on her way.
ALBERT
Thank you, ma’am.
(JIM does not know whether to invite ALBERT in or not. He turns to BEV. RUSS turns and exits up the stairs. BEV turns back to ALBERT.)
BEV
Albert, would you like to wait inside?
ALBERT
Uh. All right, thank you, ma’am.
BEV
I bet it’s warm out there, isn’t it?
ALBERT
Ohhh, yes it is.
BEV
Can I offer you some iced tea?
ALBERT.
No. Thank you, though.
BEV
Well, I’m sure she’ll be right along.
JIM
Thank you.
(ALBERT sits near the door, but within earshot of JIM and BEV.)
JIM
(whispering because of ALBERT)
I think maybe it’s time for me –
BEV
(rapidly, whispering)
Oh please don’t go, please don’t, I just don’t want to be alone with him right now. It makes me feel so alone – (cont’d.)
JIM
(overlapping)
You’re not alone.
BEV
(continuous)
– the way he sits up all night long. Last night he was just sitting there at three in the morning – (cont’d.)
JIM
(overlapping)
I know I do.
BEV
(continuous)
– and I say to him say don’t you feel sleepy? Do you want to take a Sominex, or play some cards maybe, and he says I don’t see the point of it as if there has to be some grand justification for every single thing that a person –
(And now she notices ALBERT rising and heading for the door.)
BEV
(to ALBERT)
– Wait. Yoo-hoo?
ALBERT
(having overheard)
S’all right.
BEV
Something wrong?
ALBERT
No no.
BEV
She said she’s on her way.
ALBERT
I can wait outside.
BEV
(calling off)
Francine?
FRANCINE
(from off)
I’m coming.
BEV
There she is.
(FRANCINE enters in street clothes, with a two large bags of hand-me-downs, She stops to put on her earrings.)
FRANCINE
I’m sorry. I guess I’m moving a little slower than usual.
BEV
And here’s Albert waiting so patiently, If only I had door-to-door service like Francine!
FRANCINE
So, I’ll see you Monday, then.
BEV
Albert, isn’t this place just a catastrophe?
ALBERT
Oh, yes it is.
BEV
(to ALBERT)
I tell you, I don’t know what I would do without a friend like Francine here, and on a Saturday, I mean she is just a treasure. What on earth are we going to do up there without her?
ALBERT
Well, I trust ya’ll can sort things out.
BEV
(to FRANCINE)
Oh, and maybe Monday we can see about that big trunk, why don’t we?
FRANCINE
We’ll make sure and do that.
BEV
I’d do it myself but I’m not a big strapping man like Albert here.
JIM
Afraid I’ve gotta exempt myself –
BEV
Oh no no no no no. Francine and I can manage.
ALBERT
What’s it, a trunk, you said?
FRANCINE
(with a shake of the head to dissuade ALBERT)
A footlocker.
ALBERT
Where’s it at?
BEV
No no no no no we just need to bring it down the stairs.
ALBERT
I don’t mind.
BEV
Oh, thank you, but no.
FRANCINE
(to BEV)
But definitely Monday.
ALBERT
These stairs, here?
BEV
Oh no no no – I mean, it wouldn’t take but two minutes.
FRANCINE
(to BEV, re: her bags)
It’s just I got these things here to take care of.
ALBERT
I can put them in the car.
JIM
Oh, got yourself a car?
ALBERT
Yes sir.
JIM
(looking out the window)
Whatzat, a Pontiac?
ALBERT
Yes, sir.
FRANCINE