Trolled

  Favorites by

  BRUCE COVILLE

  THE ENCHANTED FILES

  Cursed

  Hatched

  Trolled

  Aliens Ate My Homework

  Always October

  The Dragonslayers

  The Ghost in the Third Row

  Goblins in the Castle

  I Left My Sneakers in Dimension X

  Into the Land of the Unicorns

  I Was a Sixth Grade Alien

  Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher

  The Monsters of Morley Manor

  The Monster’s Ring

  My Teacher Is an Alien

  The Prince of Butterflies

  AND DOZENS MORE!

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Text copyright © 2017 by Bruce Coville

  Cover art copyright © 2017 by Andrew Bannecker

  Interior illustrations copyright © 2017 by Paul Kidby

  All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

  Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

  Visit us on the Web! rhcbooks.com

  Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at RHTeachersLibrarians.com

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Coville, Bruce, author. | Kidby, Paul, illustrator.

  Title: Trolled / Bruce Coville; illustrations by Paul Kidby.

  Description: First Edition. | New York : Random House, [2017] | Series: The enchanted files | Summary: Ned Thump is a seven-foot troll who is made fun of for his love of words so he escapes from the Enchanted Realm to the human world and secretly becomes a night watchman at Grand Central Terminal.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2016015194 | ISBN 978-0-385-39259-4 (hardcover) |

  ISBN 978-0-385-39260-0 (hardcover library binding) | ISBN 978-0-385-39261-7 (ebook)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Trolls—Fiction. | Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. | Magic—Fiction. | Secrets—Fiction. | Humorous stories.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.C8344 Tr 2017 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  Ebook ISBN 9780385392617

  Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.

  v4.1

  a

  For my faithful assistant,

  Michael Ruffo

  Contents

  Cover

  Other Books by Bruce Coville

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  What You Should Know Before We Start

  The Terrible Defiance of the Trolls!

  Tuesday, Sept. 6

  So, about the next two pages

  Cody Takala’s Permanent Record

  Cody here

  Encyclopedia Enchantica

  Night Security Division Grand Central Terminal

  Thursday, Sept. 8

  Jean Sibelius School for the Arts: Sept. 9

  Saturday, Sept. 10

  Trolls and Light

  Monday, Sept. 12

  Writing Prompt

  F. L. Atul

  Thursday, Sept. 15

  My Most Embarrassing Moment

  Saturday, Sept. 17

  Sunday, Sept. 18

  From: Cody Takala’s Biography Notebook

  Tuesday, Sept. 20

  Biography Project, Assignment One

  Thursday, Sept. 22

  About Troll Mountain

  Jean Sibelius School for the Arts: Friday, Sept. 23

  Saturday, Sept. 24

  Text messages between Alexandra Carhart and Cody Takala

  Sunday, Sept. 25

  Sept. 26

  Tuesday, Sept. 27

  Rules for Troll Poetry

  Oh, Cruel World!

  Biography Project Notebook: 9/28

  Thursday, Sept. 29

  Biography Project Notebook: 9/30

  Saturday, Oct. 1

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/2

  Thursday, Oct. 6

  Text messages between Alex Carhart and Cody Takala

  Biography Project Notebook: 10/6

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/8

  Saturday, Oct. 8

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/8 (night)

  A Note on the Nature of Magic

  Sunday, Oct. 9

  Text message from Cody Takala to Raimo Takala

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/15

  Text messages between Alex Carhart and Cody Takala

  Text messages between Cody Takala and Raimo Takala

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/16

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/17

  Tuesday, Oct. 18

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/18

  The Tale of Nettie Thump

  Wednesday, Oct. 19

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/19

  Letter from Great-Granny Aino, received Wednesday, 10/19

  From the Journal of Harald Takala

  Need Help!

  Re: Need Help!

  Text messages between Cody Takala and Raimo Takala

  About That Prince

  The Curse of Hekthema

  Text messages between Cody Takala and Alex Carhart

  Text message from Alex Carhart to Cody Takala

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/24

  Tuesday, Oct. 25

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/25

  Dear Cody

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/25 (late)

  Wednesday, Oct. 26

  Oct. 26

  Wednesday, Oct. 26

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/26

  Instructions for Use

  This cauldron is mine as Bride Gift

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/26 (continued)

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/27 (evening)

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/28 (late)

  From the Private Diary of Aspen Markonnis

  Friday, Oct. 28

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/28 (continued)

  Packing List

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/29

  Nettie, written afterward

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/30

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Why it is Nicely Warm in Troll Mountain

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)

  The Prophecy of the Mountain’s Heart

  Prophecy of the Mountain’s Heart

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  From the Notebooks of Raimo Takala

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Cody’s Life Log: 10/30 (continued)

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  The Fate of the Prince

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Unpublished manuscript in the collection of Raimo Takala

  Nettie, afterward (continued)

  Text messages between Raimo Takala and Cody Takala

  Text messages between Alex Carhart and Cody Takala

  Thank You!

  Second Autobiography

  About the Author

  About the Illustrator

  What You Should Know Before We Start

  I think I should explain how what you’re about to read came to be.

  The main reason for my pages is that my sixth-grade teacher, Mr. Liebe, had this wacky idea that our class should spend the year writing biographies. He said it would be a great way to learn
about the world, pick up some history, and better understand our families.

  I thought it was pretty goofy, but holy heckenlooper, did I learn a lot about my family! Way more than I expected, in fact…and some of it pretty disturbing. I think I can say with certainty that we Takalas peg the needle on the weird-o-meter into the red zone in a way no one else in the class got near.

  Anyway, because of Mr. Liebe’s “Biography Project,” I wrote a lot of what’s here while it was happening. When things got really crazy, I kept writing—not for the project, just so I could keep track of the weirdness!

  But what you’ll find here is not entirely from me. I’ve mixed in a lot of stuff from other places…most especially from the diary of a certain N. Thump.

  It took me a while to get some of the stranger stuff, which is the main reason it’s taken me most of the year to finish this manuscript.

  Now that it’s done, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

  As for me, I’m just glad I survived!

  No, that’s not fair. Terrifying as this experience was at some points (and it was!), in the end I did more than survive.

  I got something great out of it.

  Actually, a lot of things, now that I think of it…most of them having to do with my family.

  Oh, one more thing!

  Given what’s about to come, we should probably start with something from the world of the trolls.

  Yeah, that’s right.

  Trolls.

  Buckle your seat belt—we’re about to take a wild and bumpy ride!

  —Cody Takala

  1. Humans speak of rules and strictures.

  As trolls, we say “PBLPBLPBL” with all our tongues, no matter how many we have, flapping wildly above our chins!

  2. The humans speak of laws and regulations.

  As trolls, we turn our backsides in order to unleash a mighty chorus of unified farts, as only seems appropriate.

  3. The humans speak of honor and nobility.

  Considering that this comes from HUMANS, this causes us trolls to fall upon our backs and roll about, laughing until our stomachs hurt! Honor? Nobility? HUMANS?

  Our bellies cannot contain our mirth!

  We are trolls! And we think all humans should go sit upon the pinecone of their choice!

  Permanent Resolution adopted at the Great Haudglazzim of 1541, recited (with sound effects) at every major troll gathering thereafter.

  Tuesday, Sept. 6

  My name is Ned Thump.

  At least, that is what I am called these days, in this place.

  It’s close enough to my real name, I guess.

  I am six feet eleven inches tall, weigh 345 pounds, and have a nose the size of a dill pickle.

  My teeth are scraggly and of several different shapes.

  Even so, I can pass for human.

  At least, I can in New York City, where people are used to all sorts of strangeness. I may be one of the strangest the city has to offer, but being strange is so common here that people rarely give me a second look.

  Well, maybe a second look, but almost never a third one.

  Even so, on the rare nights when I am out and about in the upper world, I know I will hear rude comments about my looks.

  I try not to let them bother me. After all, I’m not supposed to be good-looking by human standards. In fact, my size and face are two of the reasons I work as a night watchman, a job that lets me spend most of my time alone in the dark.

  Which is fine with me.

  So why start a diary now, in my one hundred and ninety-eighth year?

  The answer is simple: I am lonely. And since I am stranded in the human world, the most likely candidate for someone to have a sensible conversation with is…me!

  Actually, that would be true even if I were still in the Enchanted Realm, curse its rules and regulations. Generally speaking, my fellow trolls are not that interested in chitchat.

  So, about the next two pages.

  Because of all the trouble I had with my fifth-grade teacher, my mom was worried about what might happen in sixth grade. So in July she went charging into the school to get a look at my permanent record.

  She told me she wanted to “head things off at the pass.” (Whatever that means.)

  Later I sorta, well…sorta found these and, um…sorta copied them.

  Okay, let’s not talk about that.

  Mostly this seems like a good place to put them in, because this year I discovered there is actually a reason (a really weird one) that I’m good with animals and have a tendency to “sky.”

  —Cody

  CODY TAKALA’S PERMANENT RECORD

  Teacher Summary Comments, Grades 1–5

  * * *

  First Grade: Cody is a bright and eager student. It is a pleasure to have him in class, despite his occasional tendency to, shall we say, invent things. He is particularly good with our class rabbit, Bugs, who early on picked Cody as his favorite student. This created some jealousy among the other children, but I thought it spoke well of who Cody is. I believe animals are good judges of character.

  —Ruth Hobek

  Second Grade: Cody has two outstanding traits. The first is his impressive imagination, which does sometimes get him into trouble when he lets it run away with him. The second is his gift for working with animals. Our classroom gerbils seemed to adore him. Overall, he is a pleasant boy, and whoever gets him next year will be happy to have him as a student.

  —Patty Parsons

  Third Grade: Cody is obviously an intelligent child. However, his imagination is completely out of control and you cannot trust anything he tells you. I hope to goodness someone will clamp down on this before he gets himself into serious trouble! Also, he has been in a few fights this year when teased about his nickname, Rosie. (I have not been successful in finding out where the nickname came from.) Other than that, he is a pleasant enough boy.

  —Irma Crisp

  Fourth Grade: Cody has consistently delighted me with his creativity and storytelling skills. His writing has improved greatly from the beginning of the year, when he seemed reluctant, almost afraid, to give full rein to his imagination. Also, his care and tenderness with our classroom pets were extraordinary to witness. He is a gem, and any teacher will be lucky to have him as a student.

  —Michael Denny

  Fifth Grade: It would be hard to express the depths of my frustration with Cody. It seems he cannot go a single day without fabricating some wild story that has no root in reality. Though I had looked forward to having him in my room, his performance has gone steadily downhill throughout the year. He has been an enormous disappointment to me.

  —Martin Savage

  Cody here. After Mom got these, she found out something really cool about Mr. Liebe. He told her he doesn’t look at the comments from previous teachers until he’s had his class for at least two months. He said he prefers to form his own impression of the kids and that “prejudice” comes from “prejudging,” which he tries to avoid.

  TROLLS

  Trolls are, without a doubt, the Enchanted Realm’s most difficult beings to describe. The reason is simple: whereas an elf is an elf is an elf, and unicorns are instantly recognizable, trolls come in a dizzying array of sizes and shapes, and even in numbers of heads.

  Single-headed trolls are becoming more common.

  And that doesn’t begin to address the matter of whether such related groups as the hulder-folk and the tonttus fall under the broader term “troll.”

  This variety of forms is especially odd when you consider what a relatively small area (that part of northern Europe known as Scandinavia) the trolls occupy.

  Some scholars believe that the first true trolls were descendants of the jotuns, those mighty giants who were in constant conflict with the Norse gods. This theory holds that at some point the creatures changed radically.

  Despite being on a single body, two heads may look completely different!

  While there is no agreement on what would have prompt
ed this, a handful of researchers suggest that the transformation was a reaction to the arrival of Christianity in the Northern Realms. They argue that the relatively swift change in the habits and beliefs of the humans provoked a crisis in trolldom. A handful even maintain that this change is ongoing.

  That idea is, of course, wildly controversial.

  Yet there is no denying the strange connection between humans and trolls. Whatever the reason for the enormous variety in which trolls appear, the fact of that variety is enough to busy even the hardest-working scholar for a lifetime.

  Gertrud Albusmiss

  Elfen Princess and Troll Specialist

  University Enchantica

  Paris Branch

  Sept. 7

  ANNUAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION:

  Ned Thump

  As I have stated every year since I first took over this office, Ned Thump is an exceptional employee. He is honest, loyal, and completely reliable. In my years here he has never missed a night of work. He always arrives on time and never leaves early.

  More significantly, Ned’s remarkable size (he’s HUGE!), combined with his astonishing speed and his uncanny ability to move in the dark, makes him a superb night watchman. Few troublemakers are brave enough to challenge him, and the ones who do are amazed when this enormous man catches them so quickly.

  As I am required to suggest areas for improvement, I will note that some of Ned’s fellow workers are bothered by the way he sticks to himself and does not interact with them. I have asked Ned to try being more of a team player, but I understand that he is a loner by nature and finds this difficult.

  I have also found that Ned can be resistant to change. He very much likes things—such as the order of his rounds—to stay as they are. However, he accepts orders without complaint, even when it is obvious that he is not happy about them.

  In summary: Though Ned’s size and unusual appearance can be disconcerting, it should be obvious that they are also highly useful for this particular job. I wish I had a dozen more like him!

  Peter Takala

  Supervisor, Night Division

  Security Department

  PERFORMANCE CHART: