SAW - Sensational American Wrestling, Page 2
B.A. Savage
< The Stud’s Music Plays >
His opponent, making his way to the ring, also solo for this no DQ match, it’s the charming and handsome, can’t believe I just said that, well it’s the Heavyweight Champion of the world, it’s...DeMarco “The Stud“ Jackson.
< Match - Stud vs Rick - Another good quality match, pretty much an evenly matched bout until KaBoom runs down, climbs into the ring, and starts to beat up The Stud. The referee looks as if he was gonna call for the bell but remembered it’s a no DQ match. The double team continues until all the lights in the whole arena cut off. When they come back on, there are four black-cloaked individuals standing outside the ring at each ring post. Rick and the ref noticed but KaBoom continues to pound The Stud who’s draped in the corner. All the lights cut back off and when they come back on, the four mysterious people are gone and KaBoom is laid out cold outside the ring. Rick’s staggering, The Stud is collecting himself while the ref is looking around trying to figure out what is going on.
The Stud gathers himself and nails the stunned Rick with his finisher “Light’s Out” superkick and gets the pin fall. >
The Stud does it again! The Stud wins! The Stud wins! Wow and who were those four people?! Where they come from and where’d they go?! What is Tex thinking about all this? I can’t tell you any of these answers but I can tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking this is sensational! Well, see you Tuesday, as S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling presents the Cutting Edge, hopefully we’ll have the answers to those questions and more. We’re out.
S.A.W. Book 1 Chapter 3 (The Cutting Edge)
Welcome ladies who drive me crazy and gents who need mints and all the in between. Also a warm welcome to all the fans tuning in around the world to S.A.W. Sensational American Wrestling, as we present Tuesday Night’s “The Cutting Edge,” live from Wherewebeat Stadium, here in Lost Springs, Arizona in Converse County. We are sold out and at full capacity for another sensational show. At the last “Final Cut” mysterious men were looming and tonight, Tex the owner, is fuming. The owner’s biggest two obstacles are still standing tall thanks to the interference not once, but twice by four individuals. The first group was the Brooklyn Bombers led by Bruno and the second group was cloaked, concealing their identities, so who knows? Well, we are going to the ring with the creator of S.A.W. Tex Rich and his clique Rich Inc and hopefully we will get some answers.
< In the Ring >
The Dollar Dollar Bills are both standing near the back of the ring with the tag team belts on their shoulders, while Rick and Tex stand near the front. Tex says, “Well fans, here we are again and again someone has screwed my son Rick out of his championship belt.”
The DDB’s come up and pat Rick sympathetically on his back, as a gesture of support.
Tex continues, “And also to top off things, my perfect plan to rid myself of The Stud’s bodyguard Crowd Control was ruined by four idiots backstage. In all the craziness, it dawned on me, four mysteriously cloaked people cost my son the title match against The Stud. We have two related matches and two interferences. Well the last time I added two plus two I got four, so Brooklyn Bombers get your four collective butts out here now!”
< Brooklyn Bombers Music Plays >
The Brooklyn Bombers all come out together and stop at the top of the entrance ramp. Bruno yells into his mic, “I got your idiots dangling right here, punk!” as he grabs his crotch.
Tex says, “Yeah real funny, very funny. What the hell were you Bombers doing last show? Jumping people and interfering with my matches?”
Bruno says, “Any punks that diss us get beat down!” The other three Bombers say in unison, “Yeah!”
Tex is confused. “Dissed you? Who did what? Oh never mind. I think I know what you’re trying to imply. Well...punks! We are gonna diss you guys tonight. I know you guys were behind the main event also.”
Bruno is hot, “Punks?! We’ll show you punks!” The Bombers head toward the ring.
Tex puts out his palm in a halt position, “Hold your horses boys, you’ll get your chance in tonight’s main event.”
The Bombers stop mid-ramp, and Tex continues, “Tonight, in a four on four elimination match it will be you Brooklyn Bombers versus the Dollar Dollar Bills, Rick Rich and...me! So that way I can beat the truth out of you personally and diss you punk!”
Anger flares in Bruno’s eyes, “Fine! But that word is gonna cost the whole Rich Inc a whole lot of pain. We’ll see who’s the punk!” The other Bomber’s say in unison, “Yeah!” They head backstage.
In the ring, Rick and the DDB’s can be heard asking Tex, “What are you thinking?” “Entering into a match?”, “...and with those guys?”
To all this Tex replies, “Don’t worry. I’m capable of holding my own.”
Wow! Either the owner has gone nuts or has brass balls. Hey wait. I just told a joke; nuts, balls, get it? Oh never mind. I still can’t believe that the owner challenged the Brooklyn Bombers and even called them punks in the process. I heard those guys are really from prison and from what I’ve heard that is not a word you’re supposed to call those type of guys. Man, those guys seem tough, and was it my imagination or did Tex pretty much accuse them of being the other four people last show who interfered with his son’s match? Wow, crazy.
Anyways, this showing of the Cutting Edge is being brought to you on the Fred Dumper Network, who is proud to bring to you this fall, a show that has all the critics raving.
Skipping Stone says “It’s a must, have to see, most definitely, not gonna wanna miss, stand by itself, best show of the year type of show”. Watch this fall as young Chris and Max fall in love in the windy city. It’s a show for every man, woman, boy, and girl or any combination. It’s ‘Hermaphrodite Love,’ coming this fall.
Now that the commercial plug is over. Yuck! That’s all I got to say about that. Anyways, in the ring it appears that Tex and Rick are leaving the ring area but the Dollar Dollar Bills are still there. Let’s go to the ring.
< In the Ring >
The Dollar Dollar Bills are still standing in the ring with their belts on their shoulders and microphones in their hands. Big Tyme Billy says, “Hey Rockstars, congrats on winning your match last week.”
Big Shot adds, “Yeah, you two have earned yourselves a title shot at these here belts.” Both of the Bills hold up their tag team title belts for the fans to see.
Big Tyme says, “Yeah, and we know that you aren’t here today, otherwise we would have told you in person....”
Big Shot adds, “...that we didn’t say when, you’ll get your title shot.” They both burst out laughing, as the crowd boos.
Oh that is straight wrong. Of course they say this when the Rockstars aren’t here. Otherwise we would have another brawl between them. Can you believe this? The DDB’s still have not had a tag team match but they are the tag team champs? Even tonight, we won’t get to see them wrestle as a tag team because they are in the four versus four main event. I wonder if they can even wrestle. I heard they could but I also heard that they like to pull pranks and crack jokes trying to be funny.
< Backstage- Tex’s Office >
Tex is on the phone. Rick is watching the monitor. Tex asks, “Are you sure? One of our wrestlers? Him? Are you sure? Hmmmm...Didn’t know that. Thanks for the info. Oh pardon me? Yes, that was very... I know very cowardly but he’ll get his coming next week. I do need to get going. By the way what’s your...hello?”
The person hung up. Tex looks at Rick, “That was an interesting call and they didn’t leave their name. Hmmm...”
Rick points at the monitor, grinning. Tex sits down in his luxury office chair, “Yeah, this should be good watching.” Tex smiles.
I don’t know what all that was about but I do know why they are grinning ear to ear. This is another one of Tex’s tough love matches for his son.
< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays >
Coming to the ring for this non-title match. The marked man, the owner’s son, the Americas champion...Bob
by Rich!
< Thunders Music Plays >
His opponent, coming to the ring, weighing easily twice the amount of his opponent. A man that Lovies ‘all you can eat’ restaurant banned for life. The man who every time he steps you hear...Thunder!
< Match - Thunder vs Bobby Rich - Non -Title Match - Despite the huge size disadvantage, Bobby doesn’t back down, which is his downfall. Almost every move attempt is hindered by Thunder’s massive size and Bobby’s blows seem to have little effect. After an attempt to fling Thunder from one turnbuckle to the opposite one is reversed, Bobby is body splashed against the original turnbuckle. Thunder then bounced off the ropes and lands a big splash unto the downed Bobby for the easy 1, 2, 3, victory. Bobby was spitting out blood as he exited the ring, holding his ribs.
He probably has internal bleeding and I bet anything that Tex and Rich Inc are probably in the back laughing up a storm at this. That match was so wrong. I feel bad for Bobby, he had no business fighting a man twice his size. No one has any business with anyone twice their size. Well maybe if she’s 125 and he’s 250 maybe, oh well, we have an interview backstage with our own Mike Stopsign and Flaming Desire. Good luck.
< Backstage >
Mike Stopsign is standing alone, “Good luck? What did he mean by...” his words are cut short as he notices the flamboyant duo approaching, “...whoa! Are you two ‘Flaming Desire’?”
“Yesss,” says Greg.
“We are so gay to finally get our first interview here at S.A.W.,” says Francis.
“What?!” asks Mike.
“We are gay,” says Greg.
“Yes, excited,” explains Frances.
“Oh. I think I get it. Well, we know you two are gay...to be here. So what do you think about the tag team scene here at S.A.W.?’’
“We are getting tired of being here and just sitting around,” says Greg.
“Yeah, it’s not like it’s a weekend wiener roast or something where you do a lot of sitting,” says Frances.
“What?” exclaimed Stopsign.
“A barbeque, you know? Like where you just sit around and eat,” says Frances.
“He’s so silly,” taunts Greg.
Both Greg and Frances laugh at Mike’s lack of understanding.
“Boy that felt good to laugh but seriously, we are not going to take this just laying around and being gay!” says Greg angrily.
“Yeah!” emphasizes Frances.
Flaming Desire walks off.
“O...Kay...back to you, Wil.”
Okay is right. Can you...oh never mind, I guess it takes all kinds and that’s one thing we definitely have here at S.A.W., all kinds. I’m still wondering who those four mysterious individuals were. I don't think it was the Brooklyn Bombers either. Those people under the cloaks stood outside the ring and something about them gave off a bad vibe. Remember, I was down there at ringside and they creeped me out, while the Bombers are just creeps. Well, it’s time for a commercial break.
< Commercial Break >
A short man in a bright orange fast food uniform with matching hat, stands behind a counter. On his hat is a picture of a hip looking chicken wearing dark shades.
“Hi, I’m Larry, owner of LC’s Chicken Shack. I’m standing here to tell you about the greatest chicken shack on the planet. Why is it the greatest? Where else can you get chicken on a stick? I’m talking about our patented chick-dog.”
“Our popcorn chicken comes in your choice of white or dark meat. Also, while other places offer just barbecue chicken, we offer four distinctive flavors of barbecue chicken. Mesquite, Cajun, Italian Garlic, and my own ‘LC’s Secret Sauce’ with over twenty different herbs and spices. Yeah, I kicked your butt, colonel!”
“And we are the only fast food place in the US that sells carry-out alcoholic beverages. So, if it’s late night Friday and you’re out rollin, stop by and get some chicken and brew.”
“People have always asked me ‘Larry, why the chicken cross the road?’ well I tell them that if you tasted how good our chicken is, you would too.”
“Larry Cole’s Chicken Shack, chicken so good it would turn a chicken into a cannibal.”
I was gonna tell my choke the chicken joke but then I remember I am on air live and believe it or not, I do have some morals. Not many, but a few. Now that was one of our sponsors that I can say I actually heard of and to tell the truth, the chicken there is pretty good. I went to one in this, ‘little hiccup and you’ll miss it’ towns named Aberdeen and the chicken was great and I didn’t even choke on it...I had a lady with me, so no need. Ha! Hey, I guess something happened backstage during the commercial break and we’re going to roll that footage.
< Pre-Recorded, Backstage >
Rage, in street clothes, enters the building with his sports duffle bag strapped over his shoulder. Raoul, who was sitting on a folding chair off to the side, folds the chair shut then runs up and nails Rage dead-smack in his back dropping him to the ground. Raoul hits him a few more times with the chair in his back. Rage manages to get to one knee, Raoul allowed this as he stalked the disoriented Rage and nails him in the face, laying him out cold.
Raoul said as he stepped over top of an out-cold Rage, “Rage, huh? Yeah, I showed you rage! You wanna sneak up and attack S.A.W.’s sexiest man? You’ll get the same abuse that an angry boyfriend get, chump.” He stands over Rage and flexes his muscle through his skin-tight tee-shirt, posing for an imaginary camera. Raoul steps all the way over Rage, wiping his feet on Rage in the process.
Well, I knew that might happen, Raoul is a very vain person, much more than people even accuse me of, but I don’t know if he knows what he just got himself into with this Rage character. He’s an energy-type wrestler. I was even surprised to see him in street clothes. Looks like we might have another feud brewing. Also Raoul, S.A.W. ’s self-proclaimed sexiest man, might have another problem one day with the fan’s sexiest man, voted upon last week during an in-arena ballot, The Stud. For all you ladies, I just found out we will see The Stud here tonight and in action, in a non-title match versus the person who tried last show to cost The Stud the title belt. It’s gonna be The Stud vs KaBoom. Even later tonight ladies, if you’re one of the lucky few, you can see me in action, if you know what I mean.
< Varsity All Star’s Music Plays >
Flaming Desire complained that they weren’t getting a fair shot. Well, here is a team who has been here the first two shows, but are only debuting tonight. Coming to the ring with their triplet sister Carrie, yes, I said triplet. The team that will try to give their opponents Varsity Blues, it’s the...Varsity All Stars!
< Cutting Edge’s Music Plays >
And their opponents in this tag team match, first hailing from a town so small, that the road map had to call directions to get there, the self-proclaimed hick...Charles Choker! And his partner, he’s poor and for a sandwich he’ll do some chores, it’s the broke but not broken...Cashless Clayton!
< Match- Varsity all Stars vs Cashless Clayton / Charles Choker - Varsity All Stars worked very effectively as a team without any help from their sister Carrie, dressed in a revealing cheerleader outfit. Brad and Chad Keeble flow perfectly as a team and gained the easy pin fall victory after nailing Choker with their double team finisher
‘Varsity Blues.’
< Backstage >
Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor is sitting down watching the show on a monitor in the wrestlers’ locker room. Tex walks in, “Hey, how you doing? Nathan right?”
I prefer Unique, sir,” he replies.
“Okay, Unique. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? Of course you don’t. First of all, son, where were you born?”
“The Hampton’s over in the east, heard of them?” replies the very tattooed man.
“Uh...yes, were you raised there too?” asks a puzzled Tex.
“Yes sir,” Unique replies.
“Hmmm...were you ever in a plane crash,” asked Tex.
“No sir,” replied Unique.
The man with multiple piercings replies, “I’ve done my fair share of barnstorming and do kinda miss my share of bandying. I was a Tory or what you might call a mossback.”
Tex looks even more confused.
Unique simplifies, “Yes, I was, but it was in a very small county.”
“Oh, I see. Well anyways, son, I feel you were robbed by those four idiots, the Brooklyn Bombers, of your chance to beat Boogie Down Brown, so I’m gonna give you a title shot tonight vs my son Bobby.”
“Hasn’t he already participated tonight? “
“Yeah, but oh well, he shouldn’t have gotten on my bad side,” Tex grins.
Ecstatic, Unique stands up and reaches to shake Tex’s hand, “A match against your whelp? You find no murmur here, you’re philanthropic.”
“Huh?” says a perplexed Tex.
“Thank you!” says Unique as they shake hands.
“Okay...sure.”
I can never understand what he’s saying and from the looks of it, neither can Tex or anyone else. Man, what planet is he from? Anyways, it’s time for an interview with The Stud, our world champ, conducted by Simon Tucker. Take it away, Simon.
< Backstage >
Simon Tucker is standing by with The Stud and his bodyguard Crowd Control.
“Hello, I’m Simon and I’m standing here with S.A.W.’s heavyweight champion, the Dud and tonight...” says Simon until he’s interrupted by The Stud.
“What did you just call me?!” demands The Stud, as he and Crowd Control lean in on Simon.
Stumbling over his words and not seemingly sure if he called him Stud or what. He finally gathers himself, “Um...I said Stud?”
“No, you didn’t and you couldn’t even be man enough to fess up! This interview is over!” declares The Stud. He and his bodyguard leave and all Simon can say,” Bu, bu, bu, but.”
Is he just slow or what? How did he ever get a job here in the first place? Snuck in a contract too? Ha! That is only the second interview he’s done and both times he called the person being interviewed the wrong name. First, it was the owner and now the champ. Smooth move. Of course, I’ve miscalled women the wrong name before but never my boss and ain’t no woman the boss of Wil B. Creamin. Well okay, there is one because I got to give her her props. Well anyways, after this commercial break, we’ll come back for the match between The Stud and Kaboom. I bet The Stud is still fuming about what happened the last show, in which KaBoom interfered and add to that the Simon interview. And as for KaBoom, well, he’s always fuming, so like it matters.
< Commercial Break >
A light-skinned black male, wearing a dark brown three piece polyester suit with matching hat completed with a feather, is standing in front of a gold color Cadillac convertible El Dorado styled with Trues and Vogues.
“Hey baby baby, this is Silky Smooth and I’m from ‘Pimps R Us’. We have the ladies that are the top of the line like Mercedes. That’s right the hoes who gives blows like who knows.”
“Our last promotion, 31 flavors, which featured 31 nationalities of unique freaks for your discreet and meet, was off the scale like no other tale. So we decided to join up for a collaboration with Motel 69 for this month’s special, two hoes, two forties, two hours only two ninety-nine, that’s right two hoes, two forties, two hours for only $299.”
“From the best pimp game in the only place where pimpin’ is legal in the whole U.S. baby!
Yeah, it’s a small little town but we always get down. So hit up the two-way and we’ll deliver your hoes today.
We do bachelor parties, birthdays, and bar mitzvahs. Remember pimpin’ ain’t for everyone, so leave it to us, ‘Pimps R Us’.”
31 flavors huh? I personally like all flavors but especially French Vanilla, oh la la we we, or Puerto Rican Pecan, but of course I’m talking about ice cream...yeah right and so were they. Ha! Anyways, it’s almost time for what should be a very entertaining match. The Stud is a master of the ring, while KaBoom, I don’t think knows the difference between a wristlock and a wrist watch, but don’t get me wrong. He’s one vicious customer. He’s always out to beat his opponent, not win, but beat the hell out of them.
< KaBoom’s Music Plays >
No matter how many times I hear it, that screaming in KaBoom’s entrance music sends chills up my spine, Man. Well, making his way to the ring. The man whose temper got him sent home early the first show. The dynamite stick with the short fuse, it’s...KaBoom!
< The Stud’s Music Plays >
Now listen to the crowd roar! You know that must mean. The Heavyweight Champion of the World is here and there he is! Doing his trademark poses while his bodyguard Crowd Control stands to his left. Man, the crowd is amped tonight! Thank you fans all around for coming out and tuning in to this week’s Cutting Edge. The Stud, accompanied by big Double C, makes his way to the ring. Wait, hold up, I was just informed that this will be a no DQ match. Looks like the advantage just swung tremulously toward KaBoom. This is now his type of match.
< Match - Stud vs KaBoom - Non disqualification - non title match, - Before the match starts the referee asks both competitors to the center of the ring as to inform them it is a no DQ match, which either KaBoom knew or didn’t care as he struck The Stud with a forearm smash as he was asking the ref about this sudden change of rules. KaBoom manages to keep this early momentum for a while. KaBoom punishes The Stud with a pile driver and gets a close two count on him. When he lifts The Stud up, The Stud surges with a sudden array of punches until he backs KaBoom against the ropes and launches him off the ropes. The Stud power slams KaBoom. KaBoom rolls out of the ring toward Crowd Control, until he sees Crowd Control, then he rolls immediately back inside and gets nailed instantly by The Stud with a standing drop kick. As The Stud approaches KaBoom, who’s on his knees. KaBoom low blows The Stud, then follows with a raising lunging clothes line from his knees. KaBoom climbs on top of the downed Stud and starts punching away. Suddenly, from backstage and down the ramp, runs a man. This man is wearing black leather pants, black wrestling boots, no shirt, and black leather gloves with a chain wrapped around his fist. He slides into the ring. KaBoom notices and stands up. He is hit dead smack in the middle of his fore head by the gloved man. KaBoom is dropped instantly but tries to stand back up only to be nailed again by the chained hand, this time he stays down. The Stud stands up and receives a lump for his trouble. Crowd Control, who had entered the ring, is hit also but only staggers back a step. The interferer hits him two more times rocking the big man. This uninvited guest then winds up to deliver a big blow but Crowd Control grabs him by his throat and slams him to the mat with his finisher, “Move the Crowd” chokeslam, allowing Stud to get the three count.
What a finish and that wasn’t even the main event! Fans, I was just informed by a camera crew person that the guy who ran to the ring was the man that KaBoom beat up and sent to the hospital during our premier show. They weren't sure of the man’s name and neither am I, but I’ll find out A. S. A. P. I can’t believe that Crowd Control pretty much shook off those brass knuckle like shots. Wow, and that mystery man split KaBoom wide open. I bet my bottom dollar that KaBoom is gonna be a pain around here for the next few weeks. While on the subject of bloody, the last time we saw Bobby, he was bleeding from his mouth, most likely from internal bleeding and now he has a title defense against Unique. Talk about tough love.
< Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor’s Music Plays >
The challenger in this Americas championship match. Coming to the ring, a man of many unique moves, many unique tattoos, and many unique words, the very unique...Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor!
< Bobby Rich’s Music Plays >
I wonder what kind of condition he’s in. Well, I guess that answers my question as he comes out with bandages wrapped around his mid-section. This is so messed up. How could a father do this to his own son? Well anyways fans, wobbling his way to th
e ring is the blooded, the bandaged, and seemingly the cursed son of Tex Rich, it’s...Bobby Rich!
< Match - Nathan ‘Unique’ Taylor vs Bobby Rich - Americas Title Match - Bobby gives a good effort and Unique doesn’t try to take advantage of the injury, still Bobby appears to be in excruciating pain after even less impacting moves such as a basic body slam. Simultaneously, Nathan nails him with his finisher “The Nutcracker” and the lights throughout the arena go out. When they come back on, there are four cloaked people standing at each corner post outside the ring. Bobby is rolling over trying to recover, while the referee and Unique stare at these four silent, motionless, dark individuals. The lights cut back out and this time when they come back on, the outside visitors are gone. Unique turns around to finish the match but Bobby was waiting for him to turn around. Bobby locks on his finisher “A little R&R” sleeper and wins by submission. >
