Pippi Longstocking, Page 3

"Oh, no," said Pippi, "I can't begin as early as that. And besides, I'm going to ride to school."

  And ride she did. Exactly at ten o'clock the next day she lifted her horse off the porch, and a little later all the people in the town ran to their windows to see what horse it was that was running away. That is to say, they thought he was running away, but it was only Pippi in a bit of a hurry to get to school.

  She galloped wildly into the schoolyard, jumped off the horse, tied him to a tree, and burst into the schoolroom with such a noise and a clatter that Tommy and Annika and all their classmates jumped in their seats.

  "Hi, there," cried Pippi, waving her big hat. "Did I get here in time for pluttifikation?"

  Tommy and Annika had told their teacher that a new girl named Pippi Longstocking was coming; and the teacher had already heard about Pippi in the little town. As she was a very pleasant teacher, she had decided to do all she could to make Pippi happy in school.

  Pippi threw herself down on a vacant bench without having been invited to do so, but the teacher paid no attention to her heedless way. She simply said in a very friendly voice, "Welcome to school,

  

  little Pippi. I hope, that you will enjoy yourself here and learn a great deal."

  "Yes, and I hope I'll get some Christmas vacation," said Pippi. "That is the reason I've come. It's only fair, you know."

  "If you would first tell me your whole name," said the teacher, "then I'll register you in school."

  "My name is Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraim's Daughter Longstocking, daughter of Captain Efraim Longstocking, formerly the Terror of the Sea, now a cannibal king. Pippi is really only a nickname, because Papa thought that Pippilotta was too long to say."

  "Indeed?" said the teacher. "Well, then we shall call you Pippi too. But now," she continued, "suppose we test you a little and see what you know. You are a big girl and no doubt know a great deal already. Let us begin with arithmetic. Pippi, can you tell me what seven and five are?"

  Pippi, astonished and dismayed, looked at her and said, "Well, if you don't know that yourself, you needn't think I'm going to tell you."

  All the children stared in horror at Pippi, and the teacher explained that one couldn't answer that way in school.

  "I beg your pardon," said Pippi contritely. "I didn't know that. I won't do it again."

  "No, let us hope not," said the teacher. "And now I will tell you that seven and five are twelve."

  

  "See that!" said Pippi. "You knew it yourself. Why are you asking then?"

  The teacher decided to act as if nothing unusual were happening and went on with her examination.

  "Well now, Pippi, how much do you think eight and four are?"

  "Oh, about sixty-seven," hazarded Pippi.

  "Of course not," said the teacher. "Eight and four are twelve."

  "Well now, really, my dear little woman," said Pippi, "that is carrying things too far. You just said that seven and five are twelve. There should be some rhyme and reason to things even in school. Furthermore, if you are so childishly interested in that foolishness, why don't you sit down in a corner by yourself and do arithmetic and leave us alone so we can play tag?"

  The teacher decided there was no point in trying to teach Pippi any more arithmetic. She began to ask the other children the arithmetic questions.

  "Can Tommy answer this one?" she asked. "If Lisa has seven apples and Axel has nine apples, how many apples do they have together?"

  "Yes, you tell, Tommy," Pippi interrupted, "and tell me too, if Lisa gets a stomach-ache and Axel gets more stomach-ache, whose fault is it and where did they get hold of the apples in the first place?"

  The teacher tried to pretend that she hadn't heard and turned to Annika. "Now, Annika, here's an example for you: Gustav was with his schoolmates on a picnic.

  

  He had a quarter when he started out and seven cents

  when he got home. How much did he spend?"

  "Yes, indeed," said Pippi, "and I also want to know why he was so extravagant, and if it was pop he bought, and if he washed his ears properly before he left home."

  The teacher decided to give up arithmetic altogether. She thought maybe Pippi would prefer to learn to read. So she took out a pretty little card with a picture of an ibex on it. In front of the ibex's nose was the letter "i."

  "Now, Pippi," she said briskly, "you'll see something jolly. You see here an ibex. And the letter in front of this ibex is called 'i.'"

  "That I'll never believe," said Pippi. "I think it looks exactly like a straight line with a little fly speck over it. But what I'd really like to know is, what has the ibex to do with the fly speck?"

  The teacher took out another card with a picture of a snake on it and told Pippi that the letter on that was an "s."

  "Speaking of snakes," said Pippi, 'Til never, ever forget the time I had a fight with a huge snake in India. You can't imagine what a dreadful snake it was, fourteen yards long and mad as a hornet, and every day he ate up five Indians and then two little children for dessert, and one time he came and wanted me for dessert, and he wound himself around me-uhhh!-but I've been around a bit, I said, and hit him in the head, bang, and then he hissed

  Pippi Goes to School37uiuiuiuiuiuiuiuitch, and then I hit him again, andbingo! he was dead, and, indeed, so that is the letterV-most remarkable!"

  Pippi had to stop to get her breath. And the teacher, who had now begun to think that Pippi was an unruly and troublesome child, decided that the class should have drawing for a while. Surely Pippi could sit still and be quiet and draw, thought the teacher. She took out paper and pencils and passed them out to the children.

  "Now you may draw whatever you wish," she said and sat down at her desk and began to correct copybooks. In a little while she looked up to see how the drawing was going. All the children sat looking at Pippi, who lay flat on the floor, drawing to her heart's content.

  "But, Pippi," said the teacher impatiently, "why in the world aren't you drawing on your paper?"

  "I filled that long ago. There isn't room enough for my whole horse on that little snip of a paper," said Pippi. "Just now I'm working on his front legs, but when I get to his tail I guess I'll have to go out in the hall."

  The teacher thought hard for a while. "Suppose instead we all sing a little song," she suggested.

  All the children stood up by their seats except Pippi; she stayed where she was on the floor. "You go ahead and sing," she said. "I'll rest myself a while. Too much learning breaks even the healthiest."

  But now the teacher's patience came to an end.

  

  She told all the children to go out into the yard so

  she could talk to Pippi alone.

  When the teacher and Pippi were alone, Pippi got up and walked to the desk. "Do you know what?" she said. "It was awfully jolly to come to school to find out what it was like. But I don't think I care about going to school any more, Christmas vacation or no Christmas vacation. There's altogether too many apples and ibexes and snakes and things like that. It makes me dizzy in the head. I hope that you, Teacher, won't be sorry."

  But the teacher said she certainly was sorry, most of all because Pippi wouldn't behave decently; and that any girl who acted as badly as Pippi did wouldn't be allowed to go to school even if she wanted to ever so.

  "Have I behaved badly?" asked Pippi, much astonished. "Goodness, I didn't know that," she added and looked very sad. And nobody could look as sad as Pippi when she was sad. She stood silent for a while, and then she said in a trembling voice, "You understand, Teacher, don't you, that when you have a mother who's an angel and a father who is a cannibal king, and when you have sailed on the ocean all your whole life, then you don't know just how to behave in school with all the apples and ibexes."

  Then the teacher said she understood and didn't feel annoyed with Pippi any longer, and maybe Pippi could come back to school when she was a little older. Pippi positively beamed
with delight. "I think

  Pippi Goes to School39you are awfully nice, Teacher. And here is somethingfor you."

  Out of her pocket Pippi took a lovely little gold watch and laid it on the desk. The teacher said she couldn't possibly accept such a valuable gift from Pippi, but Pippi replied, "You've got to take it; otherwise I'll come back again tomorrow, and that would be a pretty how-do-you-do."

  Then Pippi rushed out to the schoolyard and jumped on her horse. All the children gathered around to pat the horse and see her off.

  "You ought to know about the schools in Argentina," said Pippi, looking down at the children. "That's where you should go. Easter vacation begins three days after Christmas vacation ends, and when Easter vacation is over there are three days and then it's summer vacation. Summer vacation ends on the first of November, and then you have a tough time until Christmas vacation begins on November 11. But you can stand that because there are at least no lessons. It is strictly against the law to have lessons in Argentina. Once in a while it happens that some Argentine kid sneaks into a closet and sits there studying a lesson, but it's just too bad for him if his mother finds him. Arithmetic they don't have at all in the schools, and if there is any kid who knows what seven and five are he has to stand in the corner all day-that is, if he's foolish enough to let the teacher know that he knows. Reading they have only on Friday, and even

  

  then only if they have some books, which they never

  have."

  "But what do they do in school?" asked one little boy.

  "Eat caramels," said Pippi decidedly. "There is a long pipe that goes from a caramel factory nearby directly into the schoolroom, and caramels keep shooting out of it all day long so the children have all they can do to eat them up."

  "Yes, but what does the teacher do?" asked one little girl.

  "Takes the paper off the caramels for the children, of course," said Pippi. "You didn't suppose they did it themselves, did you? Hardly. They don't even go to school themselves; they send their brothers." Pippi waved her big hat.

  "So long, kids," she cried gaily. "Now you won't see me for a while. But always remember how many apples Axel had or you'll be sorry."

  With a ringing laugh Pippi rode out through the gate so wildly that the pebbles whirled around the horse's hoofs and the windowpanes rattled in the schoolhouse.

  

  Gate

  and

  a Tree

  o

  utside Villa Villekulla sat Pippi, Tommy, and An-nika. Pippi sat on one gatepost, Annika on the other, and Tommy sat on the gate. It was a warm and beautiful day toward the end of August. A pear tree that grew close to the fence stretched its branches so low down that the children could sit and pick the best little red-gold pears without any trouble at all. They munched and ate and spit pear cores out onto the road.

  Villa Villekulla stood just at the edge of the little town, where the street turned into a country road. The people in the little town loved to go walking out Villa Villekulla way, for the country out there was so beautiful.

  As the children were sitting there eating pears, a girl came walking along the road from town. When

  

  she saw the children she stopped and asked, "Have you seen my papa go by?"

  "M-m-m," said Pippi. "How did he look? Did he have blue eyes?"

  "Yes," said the girl.

  "Medium large, not too tall and not too short?"

  "Yes," said the girl.

  "Black hat and black shoes?"

  "Yes, exactly," said the girl eagerly.

  "No, that one we haven't seen," said Pippi decidedly.

  The girl looked crestfallen and went off without a word.

  "Wait a minute," shrieked Pippi after her. "Was he bald-headed?"

  "No, he certainly was not," said the girl crossly.

  "Lucky for him!" said Pippi and spit out a pear core.

  The girl hurried away, but then Pippi shouted, "Did he have big ears that reached way down to his shoulders?"

  "No," said the girl and turned and came running back in amazement. "You don't mean to say you have seen a man walk by with such big ears?"

  "I have never seen anyone who walks with his ears," said Pippi. "All the people I know walk with their feet."

  "Oh, don't be silly! I mean have you really seen a man who has such big ears?"

  Pippi Sits on. the Gate and Climbs a Tree43"No," said Pippi, "there isn't anybody with such bigears. It would be ridiculous. How would they look?It isn't possible to have such big ears. At least notin this country," she added after a thoughtful pause."Of course in China it's a little different. I once saw aChinese in Shanghai. His ears were so big that hecould use them for a cape. When it rained he justcrawled in under his ears and was as warm and snugas you please. Of course his ears didn't have it so good.If it was very bad weather he used to invite his friendsto camp under his ears. There they sat and sang sadsongs while the rain poured down. They liked him alot because of his ears. His name was Hai Shang. Youshould have seen Hai Shang run to work in the morning. He always came dashing in at the last minute because he loved to sleep late, and you can't imaginehow funny he looked, rushing in with his ears flyingbehind him like two big golden sails."

  The girl had stopped and stood open-mouthed listening to Pippi. And Tommy and Annika forgot to eat any more pears, they were so utterly absorbed in the story.

  "He had more children than he could count, and the littlest one was named Peter," said Pippi.

  "Oh, but a Chinese baby can't be called Peter," interrupted Tommy.

  "That's just what his wife said to him, 'A Chinese baby can't be called Peter.' But Hai Shang was dreadfully stubborn, and he said that the baby should be

  

  called Peter or Nothing. And then he sat down in a corner and pulled his ears over his head and howled. And his poor wife had to give in, of course, and the kid was called Peter."

  "Really?" said Annika.

  "It was the hatefulest kid in all Shanghai," continued Pippi. "Fussy about his food, so that his mother was most unhappy. You know, of course, that they eat swallows' nests in China? And there sat his mother, with a whole plate full of swallows' nests, trying to feed him. 'Now, little Peter,' she said, 'come, we'll eat a swallows' nest for Daddy.' But Peter just shut his mouth tight and shook his head. At last Hai Shang was so angry that he said that no new food should be prepared for Peter until he had eaten a swallows' nest for Daddy. And when Hai Shang said something, that was that. The same swallows' nest rode in and out of the kitchen from May until October. On the fourteenth of July his mother begged to be allowed to give Peter a couple of meatballs, but Hai Shang said no."

  "Nonsense!" said the girl in the road.

  "Yes, that's just what Hai Shang said," continued Pippi. " 'Nonsense,' he said, 'it's perfectly plain that the child can eat the swallows' nest if he'll only stop being so stubborn.' But Peter kept his mouth shut tight from May to October."

  "But how could he live?" asked Tommy, astonished.

  "He couldn't live," said Pippi. "He died. Of Plain Common Ordinary Pigheadedness. The eighteenth of

  Pippi Sits on the Gate and Climbs a Tree45October. And was buried the nineteenth. And on thetwentieth a swallow flew in through the window andlaid an egg in the nest, which was standing on the table.So it came in handy after all. No harm done," saidPippi happily. Then she looked thoughtfully at the bewildered girl, who still stood in the road.

  "Why do you look so funny?" asked Pippi. "What's the matter? You don't really think that I'm sitting here telling lies, do you? What? Just tell me if you do," said Pippi threateningly and rolled up her sleeves.

  "Oh, no, indeed," said the girl, terrified. "I don't really mean that you are lying, but-"

  "No?" said Pippi. "But it's just what I'm doing. I'm lying so my tongue is turning black. Do you really think that a child can live without food from May to October? To be sure, I know they can get along without food for three or four months all ri
ght. But from May to October! It's just foolish to think that. You must know that's a lie. You mustn't let people fool you like that."

  Then the girl left without turning around again.

  "People will believe anything," said Pippi to Tommy and Annika. "From May until October! That's ridiculous!"

  Then she called after the girl, "No, we haven't seen your papa. We haven't seen a single bald-headed person all day. But yesterday seventeen of them went by. Arm in arm."

  Pippi's garden was really lovely. You couldn't say it

  46Pippi Longstockingwas well kept, but there were wonderful grass plotsthat were never cut, and old rosebushes that were fullof white and yellow and pink roses-perhaps not suchfine roses, but oh, how sweet they smelled! A goodmany fruit trees grew there too, and, best of all, severalancient oaks and elms that were excellent for climbing.

  The trees in Tommy's and Annika's garden were not very good for climbing, and besides, their mother was always so afraid they would fall and get hurt that they had never climbed much. But now Pippi said, "Suppose we climb up in the big oak tree?"

  Tommy jumped down from the gate at once, delighted with the suggestion. Annika was a little hesitant, but when she saw that the trunk had nubbly places to climb on, she too thought it would be fun to try.

  A few feet above the ground the oak divided into two branches, and right there was a place just like a little room. Before long all three children were sitting there. Over their heads the oak spread out its crown like a great green roof.

  "We could drink coffee here," said Pippi. "I'll skip in and make a little."

  Tommy and Annika clapped their hands and shouted, "Bravo!"

  In a little while Pippi had the coffee ready. She had made buns the day before. She came and stood under the oak and began to toss up coffee cups. Tommy and Annika caught them. Only sometimes it

  Pippi Sits on the Gate and Climbs a Tree47was the oak that caught them, and so two cups werebroken. Pippi ran in to get new ones. Next it was thebuns' turn, and for a while the air was full of flyingbuns. At least they didn't break. At last Pippi climbedup with the coffee pot in one hand. She had creamin a little bottle in her pocket, and sugar in a little box.

  Tommy and Annika thought coffee had never tasted so good before. They were not allowed to drink it every day-only when they were at a party. And now they were at a party. Annika spilled a little coffee in her lap. First it was warm and wet, and then it was cold and wet, but that didn't matter to her.

  When they had finished, Pippi threw the cups down on the grass. "I want to see how strong the china they make these days is," she said. Strangely enough, one cup and three saucers held together, and only the spout of the coffee pot broke off.

  Presently Pippi decided to climb a little higher.

  "Can you beat this?" she cried suddenly. "The tree is hollow."

  There in the trunk was a big hole, which the leaves had hidden from the children's sight.

  "Oh, may I climb up and look too?" called Tommy. But there was no answer.