Dark Poetry



  DARK POETRY

  Psychological and Emotional Poems

  By A.O. CHIKA

  Copyright © 2016 by A.O. Chika

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Table of Contents

  COPYRIGHT

  Table of Contents

  INTRODUCTION

  OUR LOVE

  DEATH

  EATING DISORDER

  JOBLESS

  I LOVE YOU

  MONSTER

  RAPE

  SLEEP PARALYSIS

  YOUR SMILE

  HEARTBREAK

  IT’S NOT HER, IT’S ME

  MY DADS

  SELF HARM

  REVIEW

  UPCOMING NOVELS

  SUBSCRIBE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  INTRODUCTION

  I’ve always loved poetry, however growing up most poems I heard where either children’s rhymes or romantic poems.

  I’ve never actually understood romance and I still do not see how someone could bare their hearts to a foreign person simply because they made their heart race. I mean isn’t that like giving someone blackmail material on you?

  My skepticism towards romance began to show whenever I attempted to write a romantic poem and it came out looking like a dysfunctional relationship. That prompted my interest in writing Poetry.

  If interested in my poems feel free to send me a prompt, and I’ll write one for my next poetry eBook dedicated to you of course.

  OUR LOVE

  Hit me then I’ll hit you back

  The bruises on my face is yours

  The scratches on your neck are mine

  The knife on the floor is yours

  But the red on it is mine.

  I’ve got you all over my body

  Your scars they mark me as yours

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  You’ve got me all over your body

  My hits they mark you as mine

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  Love me like a broken love song

  Break me up but keep me close

  You look so much better covered in red

  I love you when you’re in tears

  You love me when I’m in pain.

  I’ve got you all over my body

  Your scars they mark me as yours

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  You’ve got me all over your body

  My hits they mark you as mine

  And they’re a proof of our love

  Lock me up choke my screams

  Apologize and kiss it better

  I deserve the bruises you gave me

  You deserve the burns all over you

  Your pleas mean the world to me

  I’ve got you all over my body

  Your scars they mark me as yours

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  You’ve got me all over your body

  My hits they mark you as mine

  And they’re a proof of our love

  No one will steal you from me

  I've made sure of it

  Your name is branded on my chest

  No one could steal me from you

  You've made sure of it

  I’ve got you all over my body

  Your scars they mark me as yours

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  You’ve got me all over your body

  My hits they mark you as mine

  And they’re a proof of our love

  Yell at me and I’ll yell right back

  Curse at me and I’ll cut you up

  My jaw still hurts from your fist to my face

  Our love is dark sweet dark

  We were meant for each other

  I’ve got you all over my body

  Your scars they mark me as yours

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  You’ve got me all over your body

  My hits they mark you as mine

  And they’re a proof of our love

  Love me like the ocean

  Salty like the tears on your face

  Vast like the scars and bandages on my body

  Deep like the cut to your chest

  Blue like the cables we hide

  I’ve got you all over my body

  Your scars they mark me as yours

  And they’re a proof of our love.

  You’ve got me all over your body

  My hits they mark you as mine

  And they’re a proof of our love

  Electricity coursing through my veins

  The grin on your face is breathtaking

  The smile on my face while you struggle to breathe is beautiful

  We are doomed to love no one else

  But it’s okay Baby we're in love

  DEATH

  Her lips are on my neck, sharp teeth against my vein.

  Lipstick stains cover my chest but none on my lips… There never is

  She backs away with a smile looking impressed with her work

  She looks amazing in black but even better in red.

  I let her bathe in it. She can have as much as she wants

  My blood clings to her like a skin tight lingerie

  Beautiful and magnificent, nothing could compare to her

  She's not what people imagine her to be she has no horn or tail

  There’s no cruel laughter just a smile that leaves me breathless

  She knocks the air out of my lungs and leaves me gasping

  It's lust, and greed and something really close to defeat

  It’s not love, but it’s good enough; she’s there for me after every screw-up

  I don’t need alcohol when the rope is good enough

  I keep knocking on her door and she keeps letting me in

  We both know I won’t stay long but we pretend anyway

   

  She’s not a drug, but she’s addictive

  The cuts and purple bruises can attest to that

  The choker on my neck hiding our affair is proof

  The tear stains on my pillow witnessed everything

  There’s no regret, just things I wished I could change

   

  I’m not sure where I am but I think I’m floating

  Ah yes, I’m in my bathtub and the red reminds me of her

  It's not home but it's familiar, I’ve been here too many times

  It doesn’t hurt, it never has. I can smell her cologne

  I can feel the ghost of her lips on my ears

  My vision is blurry but I can see the flicker of a smile on her lips

  And that’s enough for me. I’m ready this time

  She makes my heart beat so slow I wonder if it's still functioning

  But I guess today is not the day we’ll be together

  My door slams open and someone barges in on us.

   

  She’s backing away from me, frustration clear on her face

  Someone is trying to take my attention from her

  And I think it’s working because all I can focus on is the noise around me

  I reach out for her; I think I do, I’m not sure, but I hope I do

  But she’s gone, and everything goes dark

  EATING DISORDER

  I ate yesterday

  Or was it two days ago

  I don’t know but I don’t
feel anything

  I heard I could survive without it for days

  It’s okay last week’s lunch is still in me

  I can feel it

  My stomach isn’t grumbling

  Isn’t that a sign that I’m fine

  I can feel the fat from the fries in my vein

  The goosebumps are back but I’m okay

  It’s kinda cold

  My bones are trembling

  I took a hot shower but it wasn’t working

  The pizza and burgers I smelt are in my blood

  Please get them out of me, stay away from me

  It’s not bulimia

  I don’t make myself puke

  It’s a lot easier not to eat for a while

  My body can survive without food

  I’ll be perfect afterwards just wait and see

  The scale is lying

  I only ate once this week

  And it wasn’t even that much

  Pizza soda chicken wings bread meat

  Sausage rolls rice fish potato crisps and cake

  I’m fat aren’t I

  I’m disgusting and ugly

  I ate enough to last me a week

  Maybe I’m not burning it out fast enough

  It’s been two days but I’m not hungry so it’s okay

  I’ve lasted five days

  On the fifth day I’ll go to the gym

  Maybe that will burn out the fat faster

  Sugar is carbohydrate right

  That means more energy right

  What if I eat only sugar

  Then I won’t need food

  I’ll just eat lots of stuff with sugar

  Like in doughnuts, ice-cream and sodas

  I won’t need anything else because I’ll be fine

  I’ll be fine

  I can’t feel my left arm

  My bruises from two days ago aren’t healing

  Maybe I’ve watched too much television

  Everything is starting to blur and I can’t see clearly

  I feel tired

  My heart is racing too fast

  At least that is a good sign right

  It does the same when I exercise

  So maybe this will burn the fat faster

  I’m hungry

  I lied I want food

  Everything smells nice I want to eat but I can’t

  My mouth doesn’t work right everything taste bland

  Is it too much to ask to want to lose weight

  JOBLESS

  Have you ever been jobless

  Have you ever been completely broke

  Have you ever starved for days that you couldn’t think straight

  Ever been so out of it you’d do anything

  If not then shut up

  I’m scared I’m hungry and cold

  I’d do anything for a place to sleep

  Even if it means having sex for a few bucks I wouldn’t really mind

  But no one even looks at me

  Maybe I should try stealing

  I’ve borrowed from everyone I know

  I’ve traded my pride for food and shelter

  I have nothing else to lose and in a way it’s funny but it isn’t

  I wish it was all a dream

  I’ve considered a lot of things

  I know I’m willing to be a hooker

  I’m willing to donate sperm for money

  Heck I’ll donate my kidney just to have some food and shelter

  Where is the black market

  I’ve hit rock bottom

  Guess how I know this

  Because I just thought of checking the garbage

  For anything I can eat or sell for money or use to keep warm

  That’s how I know

  I look disgusting

  It’s been days since I last had a bath

  My skin is covered in dirt, my hair is a mess

  And my breath isn’t any better, all I can breathe is my stench

  And that’s not the worst of it

  Have you ever lost everything

  Have you ever been reduced to nothing

  Have you ever looked at yourself and laugh because there are no more tears

  Ever wished you could just die

  Maybe I’m melodramatic

  But I’m tired and frustrated

  I’m hungry and desperate

  Everyone has abandoned me and I don’t have any energy left to be angry

  What else can I do

  I was given an advice

  I heard sniffling glue helps

  They say it’ll help numb everything

  There’ll be no cold, no hunger or tiredness everything will fade away

  Where can I get one

  I LOVE YOU

  I’m not good at whispering sweet nothing to you

  But I’ll try

  I ask that you please listen to me and understand

  I’m not good with words

  Sometimes they come out different from what I intended

  But I want you to know that I love you.

  I love you so much I can’t think straight

  Yes Its true

  If you leave me I’ll hunt you down and drag you back

  No it’s not what you think

  You are the only things holding me to this life

  I just can’t stand being away from you

  Have you ever loved someone so much

  You want to eat them right up

  Bathe in their blood

  And be one with them

  I want your spleen

  I want your heart in my hands

  Warm and beating only for me

  No it’s not what you think

  I just want to be the only one your heart belongs too

  I want your tears

  I want your moans

  I want my lips on yours

  No matter what for

  I want your body

  I want your soul

  I want to possess every inch of you

  And I’ll do the same for you

  I want to cut you up and live inside you

  I want to be so close to you that there would be no space for anything else

  I want your eyes in my hands

  That way you’ll only look at me

  I want to carve out your spine and place it next to mine

  I want your laughter

  I want your tears

  I want to show you just how much you mean to me

  Your smile reminds me of home

  Your love is my anchor

  I’m not good at whispering sweet nothing to you

  But I tried

  I ask that you please listen to me and understand

  I’m not good with words

  Sometimes they come out different from what I intended

  But I want you to know that I love you.

  MONSTER

  No one asks to be born a monster

  But people don’t care

  They don’t ask how you got this way

  They just hate you and want you dead

   

  Why should I apologize for being like this

  It’s your fault anyway

  And yet you never apologized either

  I’m not angry I’m just confused

   

  I crave your flesh and bones

  Instead of fish and chips

  Why have water instead of your blood

  Your screams are my lullaby

   

  I’m petty and vengeful

  I can hold a grudge for centuries

  But that works out well for us

  I have eternity after all

   

  A knife to my chest doesn’t work

  Neither does a bullet to the brain

  I’m laughing because it’s all I can do

  I want out but no one cares

   

  I once had a girl I loved

  She was beautiful and gentle

 
She took one look at me and screamed

  I ripped her throat out before I could think

   

  Maybe eternity wouldn’t be so bad

  Maybe one day my misery will end

  Maybe one day I’d learn to be human again

  Maybe someday people will stop judging me

   

  It’s wishful thinking though

  BreakBreakScreamBreak

  It takes everything not to snap

  Between the hunger and the rage

   

  I stop eating and it hurts

  Buts okay because I feel human again

  It’s hard to think straight though

  BreakScreamKillEat

   

  I cry because all I can do

  I never asked for this but no one cares

  WakeupWakeupPleaseWakeup

  And I’m lucky because I this time I do.

  RAPE

  It was rainy when you left

  But sunny when you walked in

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  You pushed me down and glared at me

  But your lips held a smile

  You wrapped your fingers around my hair

  And forced me to watch

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  You called me names

  You laughed at my tears

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  The sound of fabric tearing

  The sound of innocence lost

  The sound of silent pleas

  Is all I hear when I’m alone

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  Your face invades my dreams

  Your warnings I still hear

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  The pain from your intrusion

  You stripped me of my security

  You showed me how powerless I am

  By loosening your grip on my hair

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  I begged and cried

  You let out an amused huff

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  I’m filthy and disgusting but I’m not

  That’s just what the voices in my head say

  I don’t want to hate myself

  But self-loathing doesn’t care

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  I want to cut you up

  I want to hurt you so bad

  Do you remember

  Because I do

  I want to go back to that day

  And maybe this time I’ll put up a fight

  Rather than bear the pain

  Maybe this time I’ll be strong

  Do you remember

  Because I do