Vice in its Proper Shape, Page 3

  CHAP. II.

  _An Account of the surprizing Transmigration of Master_ ANTHONYGREEDYGUTS, _into the Body of a Pig_.

  The next room into which we were conducted, contained a fat little pig,who, as soon as we had entered the door, began to cry _a week_, _aweek_, _a week_, in such a squeaking tone as grated our ears in themost disagreeable manner: but as soon as Mr. _Wiseman_ produced hiswand, he lowered his pipes to a few sulky grunts, and then became asstill as a mouse.--"This young pig, said the venerable Bramin, is nowanimated by the soul of the late master _Greedyguts_, who died abouttwo months ago, and has left a number of relations behind him in almostevery town you can mention. Poor foolish youth, if he had been lessfond of his belly, and more attentive to his book, and to the goodadvice of his parents, his soul would not have been confined as it nowis, in the body of that nasty, greedy, and noisy little animal whichyou see before you. But, to represent his character in its propercolours, he was always a hoggish little fellow, and disdained everyother sort of labour but that of lifting his hand to his mouth. Heloved eating much better than reading; and would prefer a tart, acustard, a plumcake, or even a slice of gingerbread, or an apple, tothe prettiest, and most useful little book you could present him with;so that if his parents had purchased a hundred books for him, one afterthe other, he would have readily parted with them to the first craftyboy he met with, who had any trash to spare by way of exchange. Itcannot therefore be considered as a miracle, notwithstanding theextraordinary care and expense which his friends bestowed upon hiseducation, that he always continued a blockhead, and was such a perfectdunce at eleven years of age, that instead of being able to read andwrite as a young gentleman ought to do, he could scarcely tell hisletters. He was equally remarkable for his selfishness; for if he hadtwenty cheesecakes in his box, or his pockets full of oranges andapples, he would sooner have given a tooth out of his head than haveparted with one of them, even to his own brother or sister. Theconsequence was (and indeed what else could have been expected) that hewas despised and hated by all his play fellows, and distinguished bythe mortifying title of _Tony Pig_; an animal which he perfectlyresembled in his nastiness as well as greediness. For if he was dressedin the morning as clean as hands could make him, he would, by runninginto puddles and kennels, and rolling upon the ground, become as blackas a chimney sweeper before noon; and I sincerely believe that hethought it as great a punishment to have his hair combed, or to washhis hands and face, as to be whipped; for he would cry and struggle asmuch to avoid the one as to escape the other. But, to ease his parentsof their heavy apprehensions upon his account, and to rid the world ofsuch a plague and disgrace, as he certainly would have been, if he hadlived to years of maturity, kind death was pleased to dispatch him inthe twelfth year of his age, by the help of a dozen penny custards,which he greedily conveyed down his throat at one meal, and therebygorged his stomach, and threw himself into a mortal fever. After hisexit, his soul, as I have already informed you, was hurried into thebody of this little pig; a station which perfectly corresponds with hisdisposition. Nay, so great is his stubbornness (which is anotherhateful quality in which he resembled the animal before you) that hispunishment has not made the least alteration in his temper; for, if wewere to get his soul replaced into a human body, upon his promise ofimmediate amendment, he will not submit even to make such a promise. Toconvince you that I have not misrepresented his character, I'll try theexperiment immediately." Accordingly, the good Bramin asked him beforeus all, if, upon the condition above-mentioned, he would leave off hisgreedy and selfish behaviour. To this he condescended, though with avisible reluctance, to grunt, _aye, aye_. "But how long will it be,said Mr. Wiseman, before you perform your promise?" _A week, a week, aweek_, cried the pig. "And how long will it be before you lay asideyour nastiness, and maintain such a cleanly and decent appearance asbecomes a gentleman?" _A week, a week_, said the dirty creature. "Andhow long will it be before you respect the good advice of your parents,and prefer the improvement of your understanding to the gratificationof your appetite?" _A week, a week, a week_, replied the stubbornlittle animal. "In short, said the worthy Bramin, if I were to repeatthe same questions to him a month, or even a year hence, I should notprevail upon him to say _now_; but his constant answer would be, _aweek, a week, a week_. I believe, therefore, that instead of reforminghim (which is an event that would afford me the most sensible pleasure)we shall at last be forced to roast and eat him; for, as long as hecontinues in his present way of thinking, it is very certain that hisexistence can be of no service either to himself, or any one else."Thus, then, said he, I have troubled you with a particular account ofthis stupid little pig; and I sincerely hope that the story willprevail upon my young visitors to be cleanly in their appearance,temperate in their diet, and kind and obliging to every body; forwhosoever pursues a contrary behaviour, is in reality a _hog_, thoughhe bears the name of a gentleman.