MOTHER: A Novel

  Mother: A Novel

  Angel Gelique

  eBook Edition

  Copyright © 2012 Angel Gelique

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without express, written permission.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidences are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  *******

  eBook Edition License Notes

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be resold or transferred unless a separate copy has been purchased. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  This book is dedicated to my mother, who loved me unconditionally

  and gave me the confidence to fly….

  I love you.

  * * * * *

  Special thanks to my daughter, the cover artist. I love you, too!

  Many thanks to all of my family members who are

  my source of strength and inspiration.

  A special “thank you” to Donna for her wonderful

  suggestions and to Alice for reading my unedited draft.

  And last, but never least, my friend Katie, who

  encouraged me from the beginning….

  MOTHER: A NOVEL

  Angel Gelique

  ~1~

  Emma looked at her mother with contempt, the scowl on her face clearly visible. She made no attempt to conceal her scorn from her mother, who approached her with a big smile on her face.

  “Come on, Em, have a cookie, you’ll feel better,” her mom beckoned, as she shoved a plate full of cookies toward Emma.

  Emma winced and swatted the dish away from her, nearly dropping the cookies to the floor.

  “I told you, Jane, I don't want any cookies. That’s your solution to everything. Have a cookie, have a piece of pie, have half a cake. Maybe if you’d stop shoveling food into your mouth you wouldn’t be six hundred pounds!” Emma yelled back.

  Jane Winston was thirty-eight years old but looked several years older. She was five feet eight inches tall and weighed nearly three hundred pounds. She dressed in loose fitting dresses, or “moo moos,” as Emma liked to call them. She worked as an executive secretary at an insurance office. Lately, there had been one too many comments about her weight in the office. Jane feared that she might be in danger of losing her job despite the fact that she worked for the insurance company for eleven years and was highly knowledgeable, competent and reliable.

  Jane was not always so overweight. There was a time when she was actually thin—almost too thin. She modeled for a while during college and would probably have made a great career for herself if she had not chosen to give up her dream “for love.” During her senior year in college, Jane met and fell wildly in love with Gregory Winston, whom she had met by chance at a party. Five months later, Jane was pregnant and Gregory promised her the world if she would marry him and have their baby. Jane graduated from college, with honors, married Gregory, moved to Connecticut and prepared to become a mother.

  Jane did not know what love was until Emma was born. Sure, she loved Gregory, but Emma was her heart and soul. She could not

  imagine life without her. Although she quickly lost all of the excess weight from her pregnancy and was offered a chance to resume her modeling job, she chose instead to remain at home and care for Emma. Gregory had a well-paying job as an investment broker in Manhattan and there was no need for Jane to work. In fact, Gregory preferred Jane at home where she would “stay out of trouble.” It was never an issue between them—Jane was more than happy to play the role of dutiful wife and mother.

  Emma had always been a wonderful and lovely child. She had her mother’s dark auburn hair and her father’s deep blue eyes. She was seldom fussy and rarely disobeyed her parents. She kept her room relatively tidy and learned to read when she was barely four years old. When she started Kindergarten, it was Jane—not Emma—who cried. Jane could hardly function without Emma to take care of during the day. She felt lonely and depressed. She could not bring herself to do anything but stay in bed until it was time to pick Emma up from school. Then the two would bake together and talk about Emma’s day in school. All too often, Jane would not have dinner prepared on time. Gregory noticed a change in Jane's personality and tried to talk to her about it, but Jane insisted that she was just tired.

  Weeks went by and Jane seemed to further distance herself from Gregory. The house remained untidy and Jane didn’t put much care into anything she did, unless it was something she did for Emma. One sunny afternoon in October, Gregory returned home from work early to find Jane asleep in bed.

  “Jane?” he called out, as he shook her awake.

  Jane opened her eyes and sat up, surprised to see Gregory by her side. For a quick moment she panicked, thinking that she had overslept and had forgotten to pick Emma up from school, but the clock on her nightstand assuaged her fear—it was only 12:47.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked wearily.

  “To be honest, I wanted to check up on you. You haven’t been yourself at all lately. What's the matter, Janey?”

  “I'm just tired, that’s all,” Jane answered, faking a smile.

  “I know you better than that, you know. What’s going through that gorgeous head of yours?”

  Jane unsuccessfully fought back tears as she threw herself in Gregory’s arms and sobbed like a child.

  “I don’t know what's wrong....I, I don’t know, Greg....”

  “Do you feel sick?” Gregory inquired.

  “A little nauseous and I have a headache, but I'm fine. I just feel like sleeping.”

  “Well we know you’re not pregnant,” he stated and looked at Jane disappointedly. She ignored his comment. “You know you can’t just sleep your life away,” he said.

  “I don’t have the strength or desire to do anything else,” Jane replied, tears still flowing slowly from her eyes.

  “You do when Emma’s home from school. That's the problem, you know. You just miss her.”

  Jane nodded in agreement.

  “I do miss her. I don’t know what to do with myself when she’s not around.”

  “You can’t stay here and wallow in depression while Em’s at school. It’s not healthy. Look at you—have you even eaten anything today?”

  Jane shook her head. She had lost nearly eighteen pounds since Emma had started school and she was starting to look sickly thin.

  “Come on, get up, we’re going out for lunch,” Gregory ordered.

  Jane shook her head again.

  “I’m not even hungry,” she said, stifling a yawn.

  “It’s not a request, Janey. Get up, we’re going out. You need some fresh air, something else to think about,” Gregory said, hoping that Jane would listen to reason.

  “Why don’t you just pick something up and bring it home for us?” Jane suggested.

  “That pretty much defeats the purpose of you getting fresh air, now doesn’t it? Get up, now, it’s already after 1:00,” Gregory said, staring at Jane so intently that she knew she had no other choice than to get up and get ready for their lunch date. With a deep sigh, she stepped out of bed unsteadily and walked to the bathroom.

  Moments later, she emerged and changed into a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a tee-shirt that seemed two sizes too big on her.

  “Don’t you have any clothes that fit you properly?” Gregory asked, looking at Jane’s outfit with disapproval.

  “Not really...I lost a little weight,” Jane said, reaching for a different shirt.

  “A little, you’re skin and bones. You’re thinner than when you
<
br />   were modeling,” Gregory remarked.

  “I think you may be right. I’m not on a diet and I’m not starving myself, you know. I just haven’t had an appetite,” Jane replied, as she changed her shirt. She looked a little better and Gregory smiled as she stepped toward him.

  “I love you, you know,” he began, “I’ve been worried about you.”

  Gregory put his arms around Jane and kissed her softly.

  “I love you too, Greg,” Jane said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

  “I think maybe it’s time you went back to work.”

  Jane pulled back and looked up at Gregory with a puzzled look.

  “Modeling?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

  “No, no, no, I mean a real job,” Gregory said, and quickly added, “not that modeling isn’t a real job—I should have said a more practical job.”

  “I don’t know...it’s been so long since I’ve worked, and I have to pick Emma up from school at 3:00.”

  “Maybe you could work part-time, at least until Emma gets older. It would be a good distraction for you,” Gregory offered.

  “Maybe you’re right. I have been in a rut,” Jane responded.

  “It’s getting late, let’s go and have a good lunch before we have to get Emma,” Gregory suggested, and Jane nodded in agreement. She grabbed her purse and they walked out to the car.

  Within a week, Jane was working part-time for Gregory’s friend Michael Platt, who had recently opened up a small insurance company. At first she hated it and nearly quit. But at Gregory’s insistence, she continued working there and soon began enjoying her job. Through the years, the company’s success ensured her a good salary and handsome bonuses. She had started out as Michael’s secretary but was now an executive secretary to Michael’s brother, Brian. Michael had passed away nearly three years prior in an automobile accident. Brian, unlike Michael, was arrogant and unfriendly. Jane hated working for him and chose to stay at the insurance company only out of respect for Michael. It had been a stressful period in Jane’s life.

  Just weeks after Michael’s death, Brian criticized Jane’s work and the two got into a heated argument. Brian told Jane that he thought it would be best if she took the rest of the day off to think

  about “how good she had it there.” Jane stormed out of the office and hurried home. It was barely 11:00 a.m. as she pulled into her driveway and squinted at the sight of Gregory’s car parked to the left. She wondered what he was doing home so early. Was he sick? Did he, too, have a lousy day at the office and was taking the rest of the day off? Did he quit? Had he been fired? Questions filled Jane’s mind as she opened her front door and entered her house. It was quiet. There was no sign of Gregory downstairs.

  Jane slowly walked upstairs, feeling a bit worried. She thought about calling out to Gregory, but decided against it. As she neared her bedroom, she could hear Gregory panting, as though out of breath. She could also hear the soft moans of an unidentifiable woman. Her heart sank to her stomach. She pushed the door open and saw Gregory straddling a young, blonde-haired woman, who screamed out loud when she noticed Jane.

  Jane stood silent, in shock and disbelief, as Gregory dismounted the young woman and ran over to her.

  “Oh my God, Jane, what are you doing home?” he asked, without even apologizing for his betrayal.

  “Does it really matter? There’s no need to ask what you’re doing home—it’s obvious enough,” Jane said, as she broke down and started sobbing.

  Gregory turned to the woman on the bed and asked her to get dressed and leave. He grabbed a robe that was hanging on a hook behind his bedroom door and quietly put it on. He reached for Jane who violently shoved his hand away from her and walked downstairs. Gregory followed behind her. Jane had stopped sobbing. She was angry now.

  “Don’t you want to finish up with your little girlfriend? I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she yelled.

  “It’s not like that, Janey, she’s not my girlfriend,” he replied, all too calmly.

  “Spare me, I don’t care who she is, we’re done.”

  “Don’t do this, Jane, Emma needs an intact family,” Gregory said.

  “Well you should have thought about that before your little fling, or whatever it is,” Jane yelled back.

  The young woman walked downstairs and quickly let herself out without saying a word. Jane looked at her in disgust. She didn’t

  look much older than Emma, who was turning thirteen in a few weeks. Jane fought the urge to throw up as she walked to the couch and sat down. Gregory once again followed her and sat next to her on the couch. He attempted to hold Jane’s hand but she pulled away.

  “Can we talk about this?” Gregory pleaded.

  “I have nothing to say to you,” Jane said, feeling numb.

  “She doesn’t mean anything to me,” Gregory said flatly.

  “And that’s supposed to make it better?” Jane said, as she looked Gregory in the eyes. Gregory had never seen such a look of pure hatred on her face. It troubled him.

  “So how long has this been going on? And don’t lie to me,

  Gregory,” she warned.

  “A few months,” Gregory answered, lowering his eyes to the floor.

  “Who is she? Where did you meet her?”

  “You don’t need to know—”

  “I have a right to know who my husband is cheating on me with,” Jane interrupted, angrily.

  Gregory took a deep breath and looked up at Jane.

  “Her name is Sue and I met her at the investment workshop I attended last spring in Washington. She works on Wall Street too.”

  “And you’ve been bringing her here, to my home—to my bed,” Jane asked with a loud but unsteady voice.

  “No, just a couple of times. I had no idea you’d come home early.”

  “Obviously. Why, Gregory? Why did you do it? I thought we had a good marriage.”

  Jane’s eyes searched Gregory’s, longing for answers.

  “It just happened Jane—I don’t know why. I love you, I’ve always loved you...it’s not about you or us, it just happened.”

  “So if I met a man and things ‘just happened’ that would be fine, that’s acceptable?” Jane asked, growing increasingly angry and impatient.

  “Of course not! Is that what you’re suggesting, that you run out and cheat on me so that we’re even?” Gregory asked, the thought infuriating him.

  “No, that’s not what I’m suggesting—I’m not like you, looking for cheap thrills. I just want you to empathize.”

  “I would be angry and hurt. I know you have every right to hate

  me.”

  “We can’t pretend this never happened and just go on. I want you out of here,” Jane said calmly.

  “No, Janey, this doesn’t have to end our marriage, I won’t see her anymore,” Gregory pleaded.

  “It doesn’t matter, the damage is already done,” Jane said, feeling distraught all over again.

  A tear fell from her eye and Gregory brushed it from her cheek. Jane didn’t stop him. She sat there feeling weak and empty, not really knowing what to do or what to say.

  “Let’s try to get through this, please Janey. At least for Emma’s sake,” Gregory urged, as he reached for Jane’s hands. Jane did not move, nor did she respond. She looked as though she were in a daze, her mind far away from the pain. Gregory pulled her close to him and held her tightly, hoping for her forgiveness. They sat there quietly without saying anything until Gregory’s cell phone rang almost an hour later. Gregory jumped and Jane snapped out of her trance-like state. Gregory looked at the caller ID on his phone and did not answer the call.

  “Who’s that, your girlfriend?” Jane asked coldly.

  “She’s not my girlfriend, Janey.”

  “It’s her, isn’t it?” Jane asked, flooded again by waves of intense anger.

  “Yes, but I’m not going to talk to her anymore,” Gregory insisted.

  “You know, it doesn’t matter. Why don’t you g
o meet her for lunch? I just don’t care anymore. If I didn’t come home early from work, you’d keep seeing her for God only knows how long. Don’t stop now,” Jane said bitterly.

  “I made a mistake. We’ll get by this,” Gregory said, trying again to hold Jane’s hands. Jane pulled her hands away and stood up. She looked down at Gregory feeling little more than disgust.

  “Stay if you want, for Emma’s sake. We’ll pretend it’s all great and wonderful. But know that I’ll never forgive you and we won’t recover from this. It’s over, Greg,” Jane said scornfully and then walked out of the house.

  True to her word, Jane did not forgive Gregory’s infidelity. He stayed in the home, and for Emma’s sake, they pretended everything was fine. Jane became depressed again, but this time did not just stay in bed all day. She was working full-time now and had

  responsibilities. Instead, she ate. Constantly. Even when she wasn’t hungry. She ate just to pass time, just to fill some missing void, just for the sake of eating. She was thirty-five years old, with a failed marriage and a thirteen-year-old daughter who was going through her own angst.

  Within a few months, Jane’s once fit and trim body was replaced by flabby rolls of fat. Gregory didn’t seem to even notice—or care, as they rarely spoke to one another outside of Emma’s presence. Emma, however, did notice. One day, she approached Jane after dinner.

  “Mom...are you pregnant?” she asked, hesitantly.

  Jane laughed out loud at how absurd the notion was. Pregnant! It was absolutely impossible.

  “No, Em,” Jane said, still laughing hard, “why on earth would you think such a crazy thing?”

  “Uh, have you looked in the mirror lately?” Emma said, stretching out her words in that typical teen-aged girl fashion.

  “I know, I’ve gained a few pounds, I can lose the weight,” Jane said, feeling self-conscious. She had had to buy new outfits since her weight gain, but she did not realize that she gained so much weight that her own daughter believed she might be pregnant.