Green Jean Humor: Volumes 31-34, Page 2

  Andrea: You statists are too dim to value satire. Artists are most often anti statist. For good reason too. Satire challenges the status quo. Satire is the weapon of the oppressed. Great minds love satire. Numbskulls evade its virtue. Satire is for the thinking. The thought void are dumbfounded.

 

  May: Goodness! A rant from a kook! You are a sincere problem. What our nation needs is not you.

 

  Andrea: Satire examines our deepest ethics and provides a framework for us to discard shoddy convictions. Satire is no less than noble.

 

  May: Service for one's country is what's most noble in life. To be a total patriot is a hallmark of nobility. Atomic energy is a metaphor for a nation's self defined spirit forging itself in a world of radicalism

 

  Angela: I have an idea -- as my means of protest -- I'll share ma poem: Atomic Decimation

 

  Blood of Curmudgeons

  Flags of hate

  Your country buried in the ruins of perfidy

  Slow to care, quick to poke injustice at your throat

  Then initiate atomic war

  Blast for the people

  For nationalistic arrogance

  G'Day natives

  Your sweat poundback -- a scapegoat for capitalism

  Landscape -- its very soul scorned

  Hoarse voices bellow full velocity

  In vain, in vain

  Nowhere to look

  We plead shame

  Our country screws us again

 

  Sheila: As the almighty allows us infinite interpretations of the scriptures, such a poem as we were just presented with, has unlimited interpretation. I think we all should interpret it

 

  Angela: Goodness! I'm flattered! Right on, sister!

 

  Debra: My interpretation is this: A cardinal rule of life is despair. This poem is a reflection of such innate despair. Poetry is a perfect vehicle for sorrow. Life is only sorrow. That's my take.

 

  Alexa: I saw this poem is killer. Down with the dominant paradigm! Establishment ruins life. Great poem. It would rock even more if it was put to music.

 

  Brenda: I have a novel take on this poem. Patriarchy is so dominant. As a female, one is apt to feel destroyed and lost in a male world. This male world is garbage. Males are parasites which destroy the divine femininity and motherhood. This is further proof of our need to delete males. I applaud the poem.

 

  Jennifer: While I agree with the ills caused by male domination, I am not opposed to males per se, they just got to know their place, and their place is sexual submission. A wonderful thought! I love mastering men and that is the thrill of life.

 

  Sheila: Your Lucifer inspired tirade has nothing to do with the poem interpretation

 

  Jennifer: Screw you! Sexual fantasy is rich ecstasy. The bedroom is the highlight of life. A man totally under my rule is pure pleasure.

 

  Alice: Definitely a fabulous poem. I dig the contents. The last line is killer! Screw the state! I say, artistic aversion to statist paradigms is wonderful artillery. What a cool cool poem! Could be a bit more subversive. It rocks, but could rock more.

 

  Tamatha: Through the lens of history’s greatest intellectual, I shall dissect this 'art'. Capitalists ensures the exploitation of the masses. The masses cry and scream with anguish. Evident in this poem. A country erected for capitalists leaves the people dissatisfied and emotionally starving. Capitalism not only starves the stomach, it starves every last bit of our existence -- the mind, the soul, the spirit. I am the vanguard. Capitalism must be dropped now!

 

  Melissa: I reject your dogmatic view. I choose not to comment.

 

  Lucy: This poem reflects one's fixation with integration of races. That's bad. Very bad. Integration is bad. Race mixing is a crime, sin and an abomination. Color of skin matters much.

 

  Amy: If you grant freedom of expression to subjects -- you get these unhappy odes of dejection. I am ashamed of chicken governments who are too afraid to govern and rule. Shame on a weak centralized government. Power to the state.

 

  May: I about ravaged the heathen Angela's living quarters. Awful! Hail the flag -- you no good yellow belly traitor. America is great. Fools criticize and condemn this land of plenty. I am about to rip your head off, you rotten rat. I love America. I hate you.

 

  Tiffany: It was rad. I be poetry is really en vogue. It's the coolest fad around, right? I got a poem of my own for y'all

 

  Lard Lard

 

  Stop me! I've come for bad children

  I'm not Santa, just Beelzebub

  Where do you lurk strange one?

  I came. I went. I am a bad fad

  This lard equals underground mess

 

  Linda: Bureaucrats who have religion can help Angela, the trouble poet, out of her dilemmas.

 

  Delphine: It ought to be censored! Where is the National Censorer, when you really need him?

 

  Wendy: It's a fairly holy poem, I guess.

 

  Sandy: Where are the males. I prefer romantic sensual erotic poetry better. Society is boring. Sexuality is perpetually stimulating. It's frustrating that this theme can not be found anywhere in that poem. It's nowhere!

 

  Mindy: This poem of yours sucks. Why are you getting all the attention? Focus all of your attention on me. NOW!

 

  Andrea: I am enthusiastic about it. Your work shows much potential. it is a promising sign. It was delicious to hear you read it. We people need more autonomy at a personal level.

 

  Selena: I am enraged! Our gender is oppressed! Let's rise up! We have got to revolt and overturn our vile condition! Forget your hurt and fight back, my sisters of justice.

 

  Maxine: I get some very wacky reverberations from that poem! Our predecessors in the 60's burned their bras to protest their shackled state, I say we need to burn all our garments and live in the most natural state. My naked bosom in the wind -- now that's joy. I have a poem of my own.

 

  The Body

  Clothes are superfluous

  Not even fig leafs are good

  God made us nude

  That's how I'll stay

  I glorify myself this way

  To roll in the flowers

  Unshackled by clothing

  My lover and I

  Repudiate celibacy (5 times again)

  Love, sex, body

  I am not afraid -- not afraid one bit

  I am comfortable -- I am fulfilled

  I am stimulated

  Proud of my soul selfish

  I will not sport clothing

  No need to disgrace beauty

  Life is love is sex is body

  I will not hoard my beautiful body

  Nudist colony lover, I

  We love our bodies

 

  Delphine: What outrage! I am so appalled. We have jails for people like you. My family ethics are violated. How dare you publicly read your vulgar poem! How dare you! I dislike your uninhibited type. It shocks me that filthy people like you exist. Clothe every square inch of your body below the neck. If you don't, you are inviting the demon of lust. I hate your diatribe poem.

 

  (A green cloud lowered with a conservatively dressed -- to the point of utter reserve, as plain as plain could be, average stock, his voice beaming out): I I I I I am the County Censor -- the privilege is my honor. Where is my beloved Delphine? The only woman in the world who is as conservative as me!

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  Brenda (screaming at the top of her lungs): A male is here! Beings with testosterone are evil. Rid him. Rid him!

 

  Maxine: I really disagree with the statement you made of all males being evil. You are over generalizing. All males are good and good males become better when removed of all clothes.

 

  The County Censor grabs Delphine and she hops into his arm.

 

  Maxine: How sick! She, her no fun self, and that stodgy bore! Go away and censor a different area! This is anarchy land!

 

  Delphine: I can't bear to live with you radicals any more. Mike and I are gone forever. (She snaps her fingers and they are indeed gone forever)

 

  Alice: Sister Maxine: I am ever proud to know you! You claimed this Anarchy Land. The state and its rule causes only disease and pestilence. Abolish the state. Usher in emancipation. No rulers at all Be gone, rulers!

 

  Linda (shaking her hips and waddling off the scene) I am alienated here. I will find constituents who love my face - who will keep me in power until my dying day. Enough of this crazy jazz. I am off to bigger and better ways. More laws are what we need.

 

  Andrea: Freedom has just multiplied itself about 300 fold. We people have enough strength to operate a society without tried inflexible exploitative formality.

 

  Amy: Good deal all those watered down tyrants are leaving because I can begin my reign over all of you. The time is right. Dictatorship is consummated. All of you are my servants now! You're all subservient to me. Bow and serve!

 

  Tiffany (kissing the feet of Amy): I'll gladly bow to you anyday.

 

  Amy: We have one rightfully obedient servant here -- who is also ready to recognize my full and divine authority?

 

  Amanda: What is your plan for this land? I'm receptive to your authority if your vision is inspiring enough.

 

  Lucy: This regime is insufficient! Regimes without themes of racial separation are doomed to fail. This is the main purpose of my existence. Separation of races is the catalyst for endless harmony and peace! I love peace! Don't you all love peace?

 

  May: Yes, we all love peace.

 

  Lucy: See, May here supports peace. I support peace. We fly the same flag! On my leaflets concerning the need for separation -- I will devote large space for her endorsement. Now my ideas are legitimized. Good old clean and straight May supports them!

 

  May: Hold your horses! Your reasoning is faulty! Let me utilize advanced elaborate language to demonstrate why your conclusion is mistaken.

 

  Lucy: C'mon you wimp! Don't pull out now! Don't buckle under the pressure of a society vehemently insisting on imposing racial integration.

 

  May: I never said I supported you all. Your logic is too primitive! You assume that your ideas lead to harmony and peace, but what if they don't? Now quit slandering my immaculate image.

 

  Melissa: Traitor! The weak back out from the overwhelming truth. Complete racial separation is an idea who's time has come.

 

  Amy: Hey, you're stealing the show! This will not be tolerated! This land is under my rule. You go by my rules or none at all!

 

  Alice: Some you gave us a choice------I'll choose the option of Anarchism. You're not so bad after all. Anarchy is the only choice, the only condition for our species!

 

  Andrea: I'll also select the option of Anarchism. Czar leadership is not for me! The rest of you should join us too! We Know the way. Rulers only ruin our souls. Self government is ultimate salvation.

 

  Amy (screaming): You subjects are misrepresenting my words! I will not tolerate uppity behavior! This regime will now be totally totalitarian!

 

  Alexa: Screw that. No way Jose! We aren't going for that jazz!

 

  Tamatha: Of all our activities, I recognize and isolate a trend which subconsciously subtly, we are emphasizing: the class struggle. Now what does that imply about us? Under the framework of the class struggle, what can we say about our relationship to it?

 

  Amy (now beet read, stomping like an infantile person): Silence! No critical thought will be permitted! The only exception is me All of you: Don't think as it creates competition for ideas I could have thought of. I feel threatened when y'all think, so don't.

 

  Andrea (waving her pointer finger frantically at Amy): I don't know who you think you are -- trying to rule us! We can rule ourselves mighty fine. Go rule Linda and Delphine or some other lousy folks who want to be ruled by others.

 

  Amy: I am flustered. I threaten violence. Too much disobedience! Any disobedience is too much! Submit to me or else I'll get authoritarian on you!

 

  Alice: The words you just spouted prove the dementia required to accept a society such as the one you envision. We don't like your audacity or your arrogance. We want egalitarianism.

 

  Amy: No -- you idiot! My rule is the only right rule! I am holy. Submit to my rule -- not later -- now. Let me do all the thinking and you just follow! Nothing's better, so why don't you just do it?

 

  Alexa: Because thinking for oneself is a certain way to enrich the soul and create an enthusiastic loving society.

 

  Andrea: Right on! Less rule leads to more imagination. More imagination leads to more emancipation. More emancipation leads to more fulfillment. This is desired. Right on - sister!

 

  Alice: Regulations, dogmas and laws do not glorify or romanticize existence. There fore it is a passionate being's obligation to abolish such travesties/

 

  Amy: You people are cramping my style. You do not respect my authority at all. That is shameful! You are disgraceful. My paradigm of the supremacy of totalitarianism is not working here. Why not? You people are ungrateful.

 

  Debra: This is it! This is making me sick. Ad nauesuem is existence in general. When will it end? My philosophy is too correct. Black dark is life. I shall end it immediately. (Debra takes her own life with a bayonet)

 

  Andrea (gesturing rapidly with her hands): Is it not obvious to all of you that authoritarianism leads to pure misery and devastation? The life that Amy advocates is no life for the lover of freedom, justice and love. The tragedy of the life just lost echoes on our need to live the free way. May this highly undesirable end be a strong education for all of us!

 

  Amy: The only lesson you people need to learn is that I am supreme! The dialogue from now on is to be a demanding monologue.

 

  Angela:

 

  Monologue is injustice

  Plurality and diversity cry out to be heard

  Blatant suppression

  Dangerously, injuring the mind

  Our voice is something too special to be denied

  I ethically cannot live this way

  No way

  I absolve myself of all the distaste

  Associated with marvel paved hate

  No brush ups - society!

  Mushrooms can teach us lessons of merit

  I learn

  Do you, society?

 

  This is my poetic echo of what is occurring in our society. Let's actualize our best, our greatness! Let's abandon our oppressive authority.

 

  Amy (shaking her head): No, no, no! I do not see any clarity of perception. Perceive my intensity, my greatness! All of you should rot! It is futile to reign amongst ingrates. I shall voyage off to a better land, that lov
es me.

 

  Amy pouts, hisses and then walks off to the horizon, never to be seen again.

 

  A jubilant, exuberant "Hurray" is simultaneously shouted by all.

 

  Amanda: We have survived a challenge! The collaboration of all of our spirits ridded us of an incredible injustice. Let us now combine our hearts, our compassion, our talents, our souls to create conditions we all know are possible, yet never achieved. Let us purge the elements that decimate our spirits.

 

  Brenda: Never! Your idealistic chatter is revolting! It is definitely nauseating. Hatred of males ought to be the glue that binds us!

 

  Sandy: I am certainly not binding to anything like that. You are a crusty old maid.

 

  Brenda: You're wrong, loser! It is the male gender that is responsible for everything bad.

 

  Andrea: What do you consider everything bad?

 

  Brenda: War, poverty, famine, violence, pestilence, hate

 

  Andrea: How are males responsible for pestilence?

 

  Brenda: Males use pestilence to oppress women.

 

  Andrea: Really? How so?

 

  Brenda: Just think of all the diseases women suffer from.

 

  Andrea: Men are immune from all pestilence? This is foolish of you. I'm going to keep drilling you.

 

  Brenda: Males are rotten.

 

  Andrea: I've seen you drive cars. A man invented the automobile.

 

  Brenda: But..

 

  Andrea: The fact is males can contribute to our lives and can indeed be a benevolent and beneficial addition to our lives.

 

  Brenda: How about sexism, war, famine?

 

  Andrea: First of all, get off you moral high ground, because you are too hypocritical. You are one of the most blatant hypocrites I have ever seen. By categorizing all men, you are confessing to an evil, you are supposedly opposed to.

 

  Brenda: Some say money is the root of all evil. I say the penis is the root of all evil.

 

  Andrea: But isn't the penis a body part just like every other body part and its fabricated power is that which society attaches to it?

 

  Maxine: Andrea, do not vilify the penis. It is a wondrous gift from nature, just like the rest of the beautiful body. Glorify sex, not hate it!

 

  Andrea: Interesting commentary, but I still believe my own. I would like to make clear that your views are always welcome. Your views are fascinating, if somewhat unusual, and you deserve free airing of your unique views.

 

  Brenda: What about rape?

 

  Andrea: Rape is very evil. But we can't blame an entire sex for that.

 

  Brenda: We sure can!