Third Party Babe Rules
Andrew Bushard
Third Party Babe Rules
Title Page
Chapter One :
Chapter Two :
Chapter Three:
Chapter Four:
Chapter Five:
Chapter Six:
Chapter Seven:
Chapter Eight:
Chapter Nine:
Chapter Ten:
Chapter Eleven:
Chapter Twelve:
Chapter Thirteen:
Chapter Fourteen:
Chapter Fifteen:
Chapter Sixteen:
Chapter Seventeen:
Chapter Eighteen:
Chapter Nineteen:
Chapter Twenty:
Chapter Twenty One:
Chapter Twenty Two:
Chapter Twenty Three:
Chapter Twenty Four:
Chapter Twenty Five:
Chapter Twenty Six:
Chapter Twenty Seven:
Chapter Twenty Eight:
Chapter Twenty Nine:
Chapter Thirty:
Chapter Thirty One:
Chapter Thirty Two:
Chapter Thirty Three:
Chapter Thirty Four:
Chapter Thirty Five:
Chapter Thirty Six:
Chapter Thirty Seven:
Chapter Thirty Eight:
Chapter Thirty Nine:
Chapter Forty:
Chapter Forty One:
Chapter Forty Two:
Chapter Forty Three:
Chapter Forty Four:
Chapter Forty Five:
Chapter Forty Six:
Chapter Forty Seven:
Chapter Forty Eight:
Chapter Forty Nine:
Chapter Fifty:
Chapter Fifty One:
Chapter Fifty Two:
Chapter Fifty Three:
Chapter Fifty Four:
Chapter Fifty Five:
Chapter Fifty Six:
Chapter Fifty Seven:
Chapter Fifty Eight:
Chapter Fifty Nine:
Chapter Sixty:
Chapter Sixty One:
Chapter Sixty Two:
Chapter Sixty Three:
Chapter Sixty Four:
Chapter Sixty Five:
Chapter Sixty Six:
Chapter Sixty Seven:
Chapter Sixty Eight:
Chapter Sixty Nine:
Chapter Seventy:
Chapter Seventy One:
Chapter Seventy Two:
Chapter Seventy Three:
Chapter Seventy Four:
Chapter Seventy Five:
Chapter Seventy Six:
Chapter Seventy Seven:
Chapter Seventy Eight:
Chapter Seventy Nine:
Chapter Eighty:
Chapter Eighty One:
Chapter Eighty Two:
Chapter Eighty Three:
Chapter Eighty Four:
Chapter Eighty Five:
Chapter Eighty Six:
Chapter Eighty Seven:
Chapter Eighty Eight:
Chapter Eighty Nine:
Chapter Ninety:
Chapter Ninety One:
Chapter Ninety Two:
Chapter Ninety Three:
Chapter Ninety Four:
Chapter Ninety Five:
Chapter Ninety Six:
Chapter Ninety Seven:
Chapter Ninety Eight:
Chapter Ninety Nine:
Chapter One Hundred:
Third Party Babe
Rules
©2016
Andrew Bushard
Chapter One:
Hey, hey, hey, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Angela, not Angie.
I would like to describe myself.
I am a woman of color: I am of Emirati descent though I was born in the USA. I have beautiful brown skin and black hair.
You don’t ask a woman her age, but I will tell you because I’m neither too old nor too young: I am 29 years old.
What about my height and weight? I’m 5 foot 1 inch tall. Yes, I’m a shorty. I won’t tell you my weight, but I will tell you my dress size. I am a size 0. I bet you are jealous. Even at my size 0, I have curves like you wouldn’t believe. In fact. Barbie would be jealous of me. I have big titties that make any guy look. My booty? Well it’s neither flat nor fat. In other words, it’s perfect. My abs are toned. My teeth are pearly white; my teeth are even better than Shakira’s teeth. My arms are strong but feminine.
But what is my favorite part of my body? Oh, my cunt, of course. I thank God for giving me such a great cunt.
Chapter Two:
Too many people stereotype me as a Muslim since I’m of Middle Eastern descent. I’m not a Muslim. I’m not a Christian either. I’m not an Atheist. I do identify as a Deist.
I don’t have any special antipathy for Islam. I just don’t jive with organized religion and Islam is an organized religion, after all.
I don’t like burqas or Islamic headscarves. So unflattering. Especially when you’re hot like me and want to show off all your assets.
I have mixed feeling about Ayaan Hirsi Ali. On one hand, I admire her iconoclasm. On the other hand, I think she goes too far. She’s an Atheist after all. Ugh, I wish she would be a Deist, but I better not judge. She hates Islam too much for my tastes, but I also won’t judge her on that either.
I guess you could say I don’t care for Islam, but I don’t hate it either. I do grieve about the oppression Muslims face in America. Even though Islam has its problems, that doesn’t justify oppressing all Muslims.
Enough about Islam. I also want to remind you that I don’t accept the Christianity my parents believe in or any Christianity for that matter.
Chapter Three:
What is my political identity, I bet you are wondering. In a nutshell, I am a maverick. Yes, I’m a maverick, maverick, maverick. I live the maverick life.
I would hate to be branded. I’m balanced politically so people don’t like me. Everyone hates me because they lack balance so they hate that I embrace views not their own. I piss everyone off. It is hard but I got to be true to myself and true to the truth!
People call me strong willed. I don’t cave in easily. Peer pressure doesn’t affect me. I am my own person.
And of course, I am a leader. If you want to live the best life, follow my lead! Follow my maverick way!
Chapter Four:
I love politics. I live for politics. Republican or Democrat? Neither, mind you. I am a third party chick all the way.
I have never voted for Republicans or Democrats in my short voting life. I always vote third party no matter what. I never make an exception to this, ever. No, I won’t even vote for Bernie Sanders. He’s good stuff, but by principle I never vote for Democrats or Republicans. Bernie Sanders can run as a third party candidate; he doesn’t need to run as a Democratic Party candidate. Forget Hillary Clinton. I ain’t voting for her, ever. Of course, she would never run as a third party candidate. She would never think of it, so I will never think of voting for her.
Otherwise, all you third party candidates, you can talk to me. Send me your literature. Send me your website addresses. Send me your buttons. I love you, third party candidates. If only more people felt like me, this nation would be perfect.
Long live third parties!
Chapter Five:
Every girl has a bestie, so let me tell you about my bestie. Like me she is also Emirati and like me her parents gave her an English name. She’s Tiffany.
She is the bestest bestie ever. We have been friends since the 2nd grade. To use the cliché, we are peas in a pod. She’s not just my bestie, but also my partner in crime and my sidekick.
I bet you are wondering
what she looks like. She’s 5’5”. She’s pretty hot too. She doesn’t mind me sharing her dress size. She’s a size 6.
Don’t you mess with her. If you try I will kick your ass. Guys, you better not break her heart; if you do I will break your balls.
She always helps me with everything and she loves politics too. We talk about everything.
We’re always together. We are like sisters. I never had a biological sister, so I can sure use a sister like her.
Tiffany girl, you rock my world and I hope I rock your world too.
Chapter Six:
What about my sex life? Well that’s interesting.
I confess to nymphomania. It drives me crazy. Maybe I just got to accept it as my cross to bear.
I think about sex every minute practically. Even when I’m thinking about deep stuff, sex thoughts creep in.
So you’re probably thinking I indulge in sex nonstop. After all, given my hotness, you would think I would have a buffet of options before me.
Actually, realize this: I’m a virgin. Yes, a virgin. Titanic self-control I need because it’s not easy staying a virgin when you are a confessed nymphomaniac. If I had a low sex drive or even an average sex drive, staying a virgin would be no problem, but I am a nymph so it’s a huge problem.
Please don’t call me quaint, but I’m actually saving intercourse for marriage. Although I love lots of revolutionary things, in this matter, I’m old fashioned.
My cunt pulsates again, aching for relief, but I can’t take action on that. Ouch! Self-control saves the day, I guess.
How do I deal with this insufferable pain? I will explain some other day. I bet you can’t wait for that, haha!
Chapter Seven:
What do I do for a job? I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a small business owner. Sole proprietor to be exact.
Since I’m so politically minded, I load my business with politics. In other words, I run a political publishing company that specializes in third party books and pamphlets. I would like to tell you about some of my best titles. These titles have sold the best so far:
Overthrowing America: The Third Party Way
Third Parties are Better than Democrats and Republicans
Third Parties for Young People and Kids
The 10,000 Page Almanac of Pro-Third Party Facts
Only Vote for Third Party Candidates
How to Disrespect Democrats and Republicans
Converting the Masses to Third Parties
100 Page Profiles of Every Third Party Candidate in United States History
Let me remind you these are just SOME of the titles. I have plenty more. I’m singularly focused you could say, as every single title pertains to third parties. Please buy some of my titles. No, buy them all. You can visit the website of my publishing company Third Party Press by going to http://www.thirdpartypress.com or you can send me a SASE to the following snail mail address:
Third Party Press
PO Box 458907
Austin TX
78729
Chapter Eight:
I love the Texas weather. Hot weather for a hot chick. Sometimes it gets in the 30s and 40s and that is too cold. I love those 90 degrees+ days.
It would suck to live up north where you wouldn’t want to go outside to advance third parties. I don’t like to shiver. I don’t like it when cold weather makes my body parts shrivel. A girl just doesn’t feel good when that happens.
I avoid cold weather like I avoid Democrats and Republicans. Cold weather sucks.
Plus when it’s cold I have to pay more for utility bills.
I don’t just prefer warm weather; I have a deep seated passion for warm weather. My love for warm weather defines me. I don’t understand those people who hate hot weather and love cold weather. They are mad insane, I tell you.
Chapter Nine:
I’m going to text Tiffany. She doesn’t mind if I share our texts with you.
I text, “Hey girl, I hope you are having a perfect night.”
She instantly texts back, “I am, but I hope your night is more perfect.”
“Oh, how sweet of you. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Stay out of trouble; find some hot hunks who treat you like a princess.”
“You too.”
“Ahh.”
“Sleep tight. Have great dreams.”
“I love having you as a friend.”
“Me too.”
I am so blessed to have a bestie like Tiffany. What did I ever do to deserve this type of friend? She’s sweet, loyal, and fun. She can’t be beat. I love her to death. My life is awesome the way it is and it is even more awesome that I have Tiffany in my life. If anyone ever hurts Tiffany, I will pull out all the hair from my head. No, I will kick his or her ass!
Chapter Ten:
Now getting back to that nymph thing. So you wanna know how I relieve my ache without compromising my principles?
Good old masturbation. If you think masturbation isn’t for chicks, I will kick your ass.
I sometimes play with my tits, but I mostly pluck my cunt. I reach down there and stroke as long as I can. I never have enough time to masturbate. I’m a busy chick who has a lot to do, but if I neglect masturbation I go loco.
Masturbation is one of my greatest pleasures and no one better take it away from me ever!
I don’t know if anyone else could love their cunt as much as I love my cunt, so I will keep playing with my cunt every spare moment I get.
Maybe you are wondering exactly how I play with my cunt. Well that I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just have to wonder, wink, wink. Don’t think about it too much. I only want certain people to picture me masturbating.
My favorite snack is masturbating my cunt. I am proudly the queen of masturbation.
Chapter Eleven:
Guess what? I have run for office before. In fact, I have run for office more than once. In fact, I won every time. I would run for office again, but right now I am working on my business so I got to focus all my energy on that.
Of course, I ran as a third party candidate every single time. It’s pretty awesome we have women of color getting elected to high offices. I always served each position to the best of my ability. Not bad for a 29 year old chick.
I’m going to give you a list of offices I have held:
Round Rock, TX City Council
Round Rock, TX Mayor
Texas State House of Representatives
Texas State Senate
US House of Representatives
Williamson County Board Rep
Williamson County Coroner
Texas Lt. Governor
Texas Governor
Too bad I’m only 29 because I want to run for US Senate. Damn founder idiots who made the minimum age 30. Oh well, I can work on my business in the meantime. Once I hit 35, I will think about running for President of the United States. I hope Hillary doesn’t win, because then I can be the first woman President. If she does win, at least I can be the first woman of color President.
Chapter Twelve:
My hand is down my pants. My hand is down my pants. My hand is down my pants. I can’t resist. It feels too good.
Sometimes I surreptitiously stick my hand in my pants in public. I disguise it in many ways. Trust me, nymphs like me have learned their tricks. For example, I cover my lap with a purse or a briefcase and slyly maneuver my hand under my pants and even my skirt. No one is any wiser.
I hope this doesn’t shock you. What do you expect, me to go without? I need to release my sexual energy somehow. I can’t just screw every dude around. That would be foolish if nothing else.
What other tricks do I have to disguise my public cunt playing? Why don’t I leave that to your imagination? Just don’t think about that too much.
Chapter Thirteen:
I dial Tiffany on my cell.
She answers, “What’s up, girl?”
“Not much, and you?”
“Not
much either.”
“You won’t believe it. I was surfing the net and guess whom I find hot as hell.”
“Whom?”
“Well, given who I am, it’s rather ironic.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, I find that Paul Ryan hot!”
She laughs, “The Republican Speaker of the House?”
“Yup. I’d totally screw him. He’s so hot with or without a beard.”
“For an old man he’s not that bad.”
“Old? Everyone is talking about how he is so young for a Speaker of the House.”
“I see.”
“Hell, I’d even go up north to screw his handsome ass. One sex session with me and I would transform him into a third party supporter. He’d be the first third party Speaker of the House. In fact, maybe this is how we can start a revolution! “
“Indeed.”
“I hope my fellow third party folks wouldn’t consider me a traitor, but a hero. Not only would screwing hunky Paul Ryan benefit third parties and this nation as a whole, but it would benefit my orgasms.”
“Innovative!”
“Paul Ryan’s wife is so lucky. I envy her. She’s the luckiest woman in America. He’s a stud, for sure! Just looking at him arouses me. He can be speaker of my house any day.”
Chapter Fourteen:
I call Tiffany again.
She answers, “What’s up, girl? Still fawning over Paul Ryan?”
“Yes. But I have found a new Republican to fawn over.”
“Who’s that?”
“Newt Gingrich!”
“Seriously?”
`“Seriously. His so called womanizing disgusts many people, but to me he’s not a womanizer; he’s a pimp. The ladies can’t get enough of him. So I feel the same.”
