Seanplacedhishandonthebackofmyneck,scaringtheshitoutof me.Ihadn'theardhimcomein.
“She'strulyamazing,”hewhisperedinmyear.Myhairreflexively stoodonend.
“Iknow,”IrepliedasIlookedon.WatchingPeytahealwas anticlimactictosaytheleast,whichonlyillustratedfurtherhowgifted shewas.ShewasacompletecontrasttoSophie,makingmewonderifall theHealershadtheirownmethods,orifPeytawasoneofakind.
IguessIalreadyknewtheanswertothat.
Ali'sbodyslowlyrepaireditselfrightbeforemyeyes,lesseningthe sharppaininmyheart.Itwasstrangetowatchtheshimmerysilver dropletspressupoutofhiswoundsandsolidifyonhischestand abdomen,butwitheverybitthatcameup,hiscomplexionrosied, enliveninghisappearance.
“Ruby,”shecalled,notturningherfocusawayfromherpatient.
“Comecollectthesesilverpiecesforme,please.Andtakehisshirtoff too.Idon'twantanythingresidualgettingintothewoundsthathaven't closedyet.”
Ididasshebademeandpickedthefinebeadsofmetaloffofhis body,delicatelyremovinghistatteredshirtintheprocess.Aflashoflight broughtmyattentionuptothedogtagsstillhangingaroundhisneck―a tokenofhisbondtotheLondonpack.Iwantedtotearthemoffand destroythem.Instead,Ireachedupandpulledthemoverhisneckas gingerlyaspossible.Hedidn'tbelongtothemanymore.
ThesecondItouchedthemScarletgrowledviciouslyinmymind.
Getridofthemnow...
“Why?What'swrong?”Iasked,lookinglikethecrazygirlwho talkedtoherselfyetagain.Ihadn'tmissedthat.
Thatsound.Canyounothearit?It'smaddening.Getridofthem!
“OhmyGod...,”Iwhispered,staringdownattheseemingly innocuouschaininmyhand.“Sean,it'sthetags!Takethemoffofthe others.Now!”
Itossedthemathim,andforasplitsecondhehesitated,thensent Jaydowntoremovetheitemsinquestionfromhisprisoners.Thekeysto Tobias'mindcontrol.
Youtrulycouldn'tsensethat,couldyou?
“No,Ididn'tfeel―hear―senseanything.”
Therewasahumming...avibrationbefore,butthesecondyou touchedthem,itwasunbearable.
“I'mgoingtosendthemtoTreyforanalysis,”Seaninterjected.
“He'llfindwhateverishiddeninthosedogtags.”Hiseyeswidenedand fadedtoblack.“AndthenI'llfindwhoevermadethem.”
“ Tobiasknows,”Ali'shoarsevoicecalledfromthecouch.“Ask him.”
“I'mafraidhe'salittletoodeadforthat,Alistair,”Seantoldhim grimly.“TimeforplanB.”
“Andwhat'sthat?”Iasked,feelingalittlenervous.
“IthinkI'llbemakingatripacrossthepondagain.Tobiascan'tbe theonlyonewhoknewaboutthis.Whoeverhissecondincommandwas islikelytoknowaswell.HeandIaregoingtohaveachat.”
Alistairbegantopushhimselfupoffofthesofa,andSeanquickly scoopedPeytaoffofthefloorandputherdownsafelybehindhim.He wasn'tgoingtoriskanythinghappeningtoher,andrightfullyso.Shewas thebestthingtohappentothePCincenturies.
“I'vegotthedogtags,”Jaycalledfromsomewherenearthebottom ofthestairwell.
“CallTrey.Tellhimwehaveapickupforhimandtogetonitnow.
Andtelltheboystolettheothersoutnow.Therandomsurvivorscanbe releasedtoTreywhenhearrives.Asfortheothers,bringthemuphere.”
“Doyouthinkhecansortitout?”IaskedSean,worriedaboutthe implicationsofTreyfailing.
“Weshallsoonsee.”
Sean'sgazefellonAlistair,whowasrapidlygaininghisstrength back.Hestoodbeforemelookingonlyalittleworseforthewear.
“You,”Seanrumbled,“havesomeexplainingtodo.”
Thesadnessinthemwaspainfultosee.
“Ruby,”hestarted,quicklyavertinghisgaze.“Idon'tevenknow wheretostart.”
“Tryfromthebeginning,”Cooperorderedfromdeepinthehallway outside.“Iwantedthemtokeepyouallalive,butthatwasonlybecauseI wantedtohearthetruth,andI'dbettergetjustthat.Tomy satisfaction.”
Cooperwasclearlybacktonormal.
“Noteverythingwasalie.Themissingwolvespartwastrue.They didkillJemmatoo,”hesaid,againlookingupatme,thistimewithtears inhiseyes.“Theykilledherstonecolddead.”
“Andtherest?”Seanprodded.
Alisighed.
“Therestwaspartialtruthssmatteredwithlies.”Hisexpressionwas painedbutfrustrated.“It'shardtodiscernwhat'srealandwhat'snot anymore.We'vehadthosetagsforalongtimenow.Muchhashappened sinceweweregiventhem.Ijustdon'tknow...”
“Hespeaksthetruth,”Janneradded,joiningthepartyintheliving room.“Truthandfictionweresointerwoventhat,now,it'shardtotell onefromtheother.Youhavetounderstandthatweneverconsciously knewwhatTobias'planswereorthathewasevenusingusatall.He orchestratedthisentirething―letusgoonpurpose―thenstrategically guidedusalongtheway.”Hiseyesfelltothefloor,ashamedofwhathad happened.“I'mcertainnowthatourmeetingwashardlyachance encounter.”
“Didyoucomeheretotakeheraway?”Cooperasked,hiseyes harboringthetiniestglintofgoldinthem.“Iwouldanswerthatquestion verycarefully,friend.”
“ItisasIsaid,Cooper.Factistoohardtofilterfromfalsehood rightnow.It'sasthoughtwoseparatepartsofourbrainsranatthesame time.Wewere,forallintentsandpurposes,ourtrueselves.Themoments wherewetrulyfeltlikewewereoneofyouweregenuine.Theywereour stories,ourpersonalities,ouraccountsofhoweventsunfolded,atleast forthemostpart.Othertimes...Ijustcan'texplainit.Ican'tremember sayingordoingcertainthingsthatledustothispoint,butI knowthey happenedbecauseIcanclearlyreplaytheminmymind.WhateverTobias stumbleduponisatrulyfrighteningcreation.Youdon'trealizewhat's happeningtoyouevenasit'shappening.Thereisnoconsciousaction, eventhoughthereisconsciousness.”
“Idon'tbelieveyou,”Coopergrowled.“PartofmeknewthatwhatI wasdoingwaswrong,Ijustcouldn'trememberwhy.”
“Yes,”Beckettsaid,comingtostandbesideJanner.“Butyouhad onlyjuststartedwearingDeacon'stagsandyou'reRuby'salpha.Your connectiontoherismuchstrongerthanours.We'vewornourtagsforfar longerthanIcanremember.We'vebecomedesensitizedtothefeeling youspeakof,butIknowit.Ihadittoo,once.Thewayhestartedwithus wassoslowandsubtlethatweneverreallyrealizedwhatwasgoingon.”
WhileCooperandSeangrilledthethreemen,Itriedtoreachoutfor whattheywerefeeling,andmoreimportantly,toseeifIcoulddetectany ofthatstrangereservedenergythatIpickedupfromthempreviously.
Therewasn'tanounceofitleft.WhateverholdTobiashadoncehadon themwasgone.Forgood.Thequestionthatplaguedmymindwas,ifthey couldbecontrolledonce,couldtheybemanipulatedagain?
IrealizedthatCooperwasaskingmesomethingandsnappedoutof mytrance-likestate.
“Whatdoyouthink?”heasked,lookingfullyannoyedthathe'dhad torepeathimself.“Shouldtheystayorleave?”
“Stay.”
Myvoicewasfirmaswasmystanceontheissue.Theywerenota threattome,oranyoneelseforthatmatter―notanylonger.Furthermore, itwasn'ttheirfault.WouldIholdtheirunconsciousactionsagainstthem?
WouldIwantwhatevermessScarlethadcausedinmyabsenceheld againstme?Icringedatthatthought,thinkingthatwasaconversationI stillhadtohavewithher.
Seaninhaled
deeplyandslowlybesideme.Hewasn'thappywith myplan.
“AnddoIhaveasayinthis?”heasked,cockinghiseyebrowatme.
Itwasn'tinaplayfulway,thoughIwishedithadbeen.
“Whatisyoursay?”Iwasavoidinghisquestionwithanotherone, whichusuallyworkedaboutaswellastryingtooutrunhim,butIthrewit outthereanywaytoseewhatwouldhappen.
“Idon'tlikeit,”heinformedme,“butIsupposeifcertainground rulesarelaidandCooperagrees,Iwillallowit.”
TheMaineboysandIwhippedourcollectiveheadstowardCooper toseewhathisfinaldecidingvotewouldbe.HelookedasuneasyasSean felt.Withaloudsigh,hedeliveredhisverdict.
“Theycanstay.”Isquealed,thenstifledtherestofittolethim finish.ThelookheflashedmeinformedmethatIwasinterruptingthe restofhisspeech.“Butononecondition.Theyanswerto me.Theyare mine―partofthepack,andallthatthatimplies.”Jannerlookedrelieved.
Beckettlookedindifferent.Alistairlookedsad.“Andifanyofyoufuck upintheslightest,you'redead,understand?”
Theyallnoddedonce.
“I'mtrustingyoutohandlethis,Cooper,”Seansaidintonethatlet Cooperknowwhowas reallyincharge.“Don'tmakemelivetoregretit.”
Thetwoformidablemeneyedeachothertightly,sayingnothing.
Thetensiongrewbythesecond,andIjustcouldn'tdeal.Somethinghad togive.
“Grouphug!”Ishouted,divingatthenewestpackmembers.They laughedatmeasalways,butloosenedupenoughtoletmeknowthat therewasgenuineaffectionontheirend.“Cooper,getinhere,”Iordered mockingly.“Comefeelthelove,bigguy.It'sabeautifulthing.”
“I'mgood,”hereplied,stillstandingnexttoSean.“I'mgettingtons ofloveoverhere.Noneedformore.”
Aftergettingmysqueezeonwiththenewguys,Iturnedtoaddress thebroodingduoafewfeetawayfromme.Aquickscanoftheroom alertedmetoaglaringabsence.Twoabsences,actually.
“Where'sPeyta?”Iasked,movingtowardthedoortogetaclearer viewoftheroom.“AndJay?”
Justastheothersbegantolookconcerned,avoicefromthe stairwellcalmedthemall.
“Outhere,”Jaycalled,soundingmildlysheepish.Heopenedthe frontdoorandwalkedinwithPeytatrailingbehindhim,herhand claspingtightlytohis.Itmademesmile.
“So,”Istartedinmymostbadgeringtone.“Whathaveyoutwo beendoing?Didyougeteverythingallworkedout?”
“We'regood,Ruby,”Peytareplied,blushingslightly.“Wehada littletalk.”
“Oh,didyou?Anddidyoutalkabout everything?”ThelookIgave herwasoneofwarning―onethatsaidthatnowwasthetimetoairher dirtylaundrytohimandnotkeepitasecret.Iknewalotabouthowbadly thatapproachended.
“Yes. Everything.”
Ismiledandgaveheranodofapproval.Sheblushedslightlyand tuckedherheadinclosetoJay'sarm,shelteringheremotionsfromher audience.
“Sean,”Jaysaid,soundinguncharacteristicallyformal.“Iwishtobe boundtoPeyta.ItisyourjobtopicktheHealerforthePCandbindherto us,butwehavechoseneachother.Whatistobedone?”
Seanlookedpensiveforamoment,weighingsomethingheavilyin hismind.ItwasthemomentI'dfearedanddutifullyignoredformonths.
I'dalwayshatedthethoughtofPeytabeingtetheredtoourlifeof violence,buteventuallyreconciledthefactthatitwaswhoshewas.It wasmeanttobe.Officialornot,shewasalreadysurroundedbythechaos thatthesupernaturalworldwasfraughtwith.ThatwasafactIhadslowly cometotermswith.
WhatIhadn'tcometotermswithwasknowingthatSeanwould havetobetheonetobindhertothebrothers.
“Iwillfindasolution,Jay,”hesaidfinally,breakingthesilencethat hadbeengrowing.“Forbothoursakes,Iwillfindaway.”Peytabolted forSeananddidoneofherflyingsquirrelmoves,latchingontohimat thelastsecondandhugginghimviolently.“You'rewelcome,Peyta,”he said,wrappinghisarmsaroundhertinyframe,emphasizingtheirvast sizedifference.
“Um,P?”Cooperhadthemostperplexedlookonhisface.“Isn't yourmothergoingtoshitabrickwhenshehearsaboutthislittle marriageidea?Whatexactlyareyougoingtotellher?Shedoesn'teven knowwhatJayis,andthinkinghe'sawerewolfisn'tanybetter.Andthen there'syourwholeageissue...”
“I'lldealwithher,”shesaid,climbingdownfromSean.“She'sso happylatelythatI'mnotevensureit'llbeaproblem.”
“Well,eitherway,Iwouldmakesurethefirearmsaren'tloaded first.AndmakesureJayisn'twithyou.It'llbesaferforeveryone.”
PeytaandIgaveeachotheraknowingglancethenstartedtogiggle.
“That'saproblemforanotherday,”Seaninformedusoverthe laughter.“It'slate.Timeforeveryonetogo.”
Coopermadehiswayovertomeandscoopedmeup,liftingme easilyofftheground.
“I'msorry,Rubes,”hewhisperedinmyear.
“Waterunderthebridge,”Iwhisperedback.“Iloveyou,Coop.That guy―hewasn'tyou.Formysake,please,letitgo.”Hegavemeaparting squeezethensetmedownontheground.
“Alice,Jan,Becky:youthreereadytoheadout?”
Theirlooksweremurderous,especiallyAlistair's,butitwasallfor show.Theywereexcitedtohaveanewhome,anewpack,andmaybe, oneday,anewfamily.Iknewwhatitwasliketofeelthatway.
ThePCbrothershadslowlyfiledoutoverthecourseoftheevening, onceSeanrealizedthetriowasn'tathreattoanyonewithouttheirtags.
PeytaandJayhesitatedforamomentatthedoor,undoubtedlynot wantingtohavetopartfromoneanother.Ronniewasn'tgoingtobe jazzedaboutJaysleepingoverwithoutthepresenceofdanger,andweall knewit.
“Peyta,doyouguyswanttogotomyplace?”Iaskedthepining pixie.
“Canwe?I'llcallmomandtellherI'llbecrashingwithyou.”
“That'sfine.Goahead.”
Thetwosmiledinunisonatmebeforeheadingoutthedoor together,stillhandinhand.AsIwatchedthemleave,Irealizedthat everyonewascrashingatmyhousebutme,anditmademefeelleftout.I lookedupatSeanwithtiredbutsaddenedeyes.Insteadofbeingmetwith theuncertain,closed-offlookIexpected,Igotoneofmyfavorites―the Cheshirecatsmile.
“Youwanttostayatyourplace,don'tyou?”Hisquestionwasa formality;healreadyknewtheanswer.
Inodded.
“Iwanttogiveyousomethingfirst,”hesaid,reachingintotheneck ofhisshirttopulloutachain.Achainwithmyplatinumringdanglingat theend.“Itseemslikenowwouldbeagoodtimetoreturnthis.”
“Myring...howlonghaveyouhadthis?”Iasked,wonderinghowI hadn'tnoticeditbefore.
“I'vewornitsincethemomentIcouldretrieveitfromthefloorthe nightScarlettookyoufromme.Ifeltclosertoyouwithiton...”
“ButyousaidthatyoueventuallythoughtIwantedtostaygone, likeIwantedtobeawayfromyou.”
Heshruggedinresponse.
“Theheartdoesnotalwaysmakesense,Ruby.Itwantswhatit wants,evenifwhatitdesiresdoesnotwantitback.Keepingthiswithme remindedmethatyouandIwillalwaysbeconnected―forbetteror worse.”
Heunclaspedthechain,slidingtheringoffofittohandittome.I lookedatitmomentarilybeforetuckingitawaysafelyinmypocket.I hadonlyjustgottenScarletback.Ididnotwishtoseeifplacingthering onmyfingerwouldcageheronceagain.
“Thankyou,”Iwhispered,avertingmygaze,“fornotgivingupon me.”
“Myfearandmyegodrovemetobelievethatyouchosetoleave me.Icouldnotfindyou...myfailurewasmorethanIcouldbear,butmy heartneverbelievedyouwouldabandonme.Youaremine...”
“Andyouaremine,”Icountered,aseductivesmileplayingacross
mylips.
Itpulledthemostdelightfulrumblefromdeepwithinhischest,a possessivenoisethatmademylegsweakandmyheartrace.Hewould alwaysclaimmeashis.
AndIwouldalwayslethim.
“Let'sgothen.Iwanttomakesurenoneofthemcrashinyour room.Irefusetosleeponthefloor.”
IcockedmyeyebrowathimandthrewasmuchsaucinessasIcould intomyvoice.“WhosaidI'mlettingyousleep?Inearlydiedtonight;I don'twanttosleep.Iwanttofeel alive.”Hiseyeswidenedanddarkened toalarminglevels.Itseemedhelikedmyplan.
“Alive...,”hesaidsoftly,strokingthesideofmyface.“Let'skeep youthatway,shallwe?AndbesuretotellScarletthatsheandIwillstill behavingthatlittlechatsoon.Shehassomeexplainingtodo.”
Andboydidsheever.Threeweekswasalongtimeforhertodoall sortsofhorrificthings,includingrackupabodycount.Ihopedshe'dbe forthcomingwiththefacts,butknowingher,thatwasatotalpipedream.
She'dbeenasquietasamousesinceherreturn,andIcouldn'thelpbut feelthathersilencedidn'tbodewellforanyofus.
“Shedoesindeed,”Iagreedbeforeturningthetablesonhim,“but sodoyou―likehowyouknewwhereIwas,orwhathadhappened?I knowyouknoweverything,Sean,butthatwasastretch,evenforyou.”
“Ihadalittlehelp,”hereplied,guidingmeoutofhisapartment.
“Help?”
“Yes.I'dsaythatyour BoyScoutearnedhimselfanothermerit badgetonight.”
“Matty?”Iblurtedout,utterlystunned.
“I'minclinedtosaythatheandIareevennow,”hecontinuedwhile descendingthestairstothesecondfloor.“Hewastrailingyou.Hehas beenforawhile.Atthefirstsignofanambush,hewenttoPeytaand gaveadetaileddescriptionofwhereCooperhadtakenyou.The rest...well,youknowthatpart.”
Ifeltanoverwhelmingsenseofgratitudeandguilt.Afterallthat hadhappened,Mattystillwantedtokeepmesafelikehealwayshad,and Iwasimmenselythankfulforthat.MyguiltwasinknowingthatIhadno ideahowtoreturnthefavor.