My Blood Approves

  I blushed even more deeply at his compliments and dropped my eyes to the floor. Nobody had ever talked about me like that.

  “Don’t.” Peter’s voice had gone hard again, and he gave Ezra a look, which he returned evenly. Then Peter shook his head. “She’s too young! And she’s too…” He decided against finishing his sentence, and then got up suddenly and stormed out.

  “Peter!” Jack groaned, then got up and went after him.

  “Jack, leave him,” Ezra called after him, but Jack just shook his head and kept going.

  “He can’t keep getting away with this,” Jack said and disappeared out of the room after him.

  “You just have to ignore him,” Mae purred warmly in my ear. She began braiding my hair, something my own mother had never done, and tried to comfort me. “He’s just that way.”

  “I just don’t understand.” Confused, hurt tears were stinging my eyes, and I wished they would go away. I thought about wiping at them, but Ezra was staring at me, and it would only make my crying more obvious.

  “What, love?” Mae asked softly, pushing stray strands of hair out of my face.

  “Why he hates me so much,” I mumbled.

  “He doesn’t hate you,” Ezra said. “He just wishes he did.”

  I know that was meant to comfort me, but I don’t really know how that made things better. Wanting to hate me felt almost worse. It was a choice he was trying to make.

  “I need to use the restroom,” I announced. I wouldn’t be able to fight the tears much longer, and if I cried, I’d rather do it in the privacy of the bathroom. I stood up, and Mae’s hands reluctantly fell away.

  “Do you remember where it’s at?” Mae started rising to show me where it was at, but I nodded first.

  “I’ll be right back.” I dashed out of the room as fast as I could without making it obvious that I was running away to cry.

  On my way to the bathroom, I had to go past the stairs, but that was as far as I made it. Peter’s smooth voice stopped me sharply. Hidden at the bottom of the steps, I could hear them upstairs in Peter’s room. He was talking to Jack, and he didn’t sound angry like he did in the living room. In fact, he sounded more sad than anything else.

  “I’m not trying to be mean to her,” Peter was saying, sounding small and apologetic.

  “But you are! You should’ve seen how terrified she was to come over here, because of you!” Jack, on the other hand, definitely was angry.

  I winced at the sound of him confessing my embarrassing secrets, but I stayed longer to listen to their argument.

  “Maybe she shouldn’t come back then.” Peter was saying it reasonably, as if he was only thinking of what was best for me, not because he didn’t want me around.

  “You’re such an ass,” Jack said. “I like her, Ezra likes her, Mae’s practically in love with her. She’s going to be around. I don’t know why you’re fighting everything so much.”

  “None of you understand, okay?” Peter’s voice had gotten sharper. “Ezra has Mae, and you’re too young. And this is like a holiday for Mae! She’s always wanted a daughter.”

  “Look, it doesn’t matter!” Jack had grown exasperated. “She’s going to be around, and you’re just gonna have to find a way to deal with it. Without hurting her.”

  “You know I don’t want to hurt her.” Peter had gotten so quiet, I could barely hear him, but his voice was unmistakably sincere. He truly didn’t want to hurt me, or even hate me. So why did he?

  “Yeah, I do!” Jack snapped. “So knock it off!”

  “Okay!” Peter relented.

  The conversation appeared to be winding to a close and I could hear footsteps getting closer to the stairs. I couldn’t have them catching me eavesdropping, so I ran to the bathroom. At least I felt less like crying now, even though I felt even more confused about what was going on.

  When I came out of the bathroom, both Peter and Jack had returned to the living room. Peter remained cordial but distant. Jack played with the dog and tried to get everyone involved in some other video game. Ezra continued to ask me questions about myself, ranging from what my mother did to what television shows I liked the best, and Mae seemed contented to play with my hair for the rest of her life.

  It was after eleven o’clock when Jack declared that we should get going. Even with the anxiety, the night had passed amazingly fast.

  They all walked us to the garage door, even Matilda, making me once again feel self-conscious. They were constantly putting me in the center of the attention, when they were all far more beautiful and fascinating than I could ever dream of being.

  Mae hugged me tightly to her, and she looked almost like she was going to cry because I was leaving.

  “You will come back, won’t you?” Her hands were still on my arms, squeezing them a little too tightly, and Ezra put his arm around her waist, gently pulling her back from me.

  “We really enjoy having you over,” Ezra said, managing a much less frantic invite than his wife.

  “Oh, she’ll be back,” Jack answered for me, grinning broadly.

  Peter, who had been standing off to the side, took a step closer to me, and his piercing green eyes met mine. For one irrational, euphoric second, I thought he might kiss me, but he stayed frozen several feet from me.

  Then, very softly, but so strong that it was definitely a command, he said, “Come back.”

  “Okay,” I nodded. He must’ve established his human interaction quota with that, because then he turned and walked out of the room. I regained some sense of composure and forced a smile at Mae and Ezra. “I’ll be back. I promise.”

  “We’ll see you soon then,” Ezra smiled at me. Mae looked as if she was going to explode with glee, and Ezra kept his arm firmly placed around her to stop that from happening.

  “I told you Ezra would like you,” Jack said when we were in the garage. We were heading down to his Jeep, and I had a long tirade of questions to ask him, so I kept my mouth shut until we were safely inside. I didn’t want my thoughts interrupted at all. “Do you disagree?”

  “I do not,” I replied, then hopped into the Jeep and waited for him. He had barely gotten in when I turned full on to face him. “Okay. What the hell does your family want with me?”

  “What do you mean?” Jack asked carefully. He didn’t want to accidentally give away too much.

  “You’re all fawning all over me, like I’m a shiny gem or something.” That wasn’t the right way to say it exactly, because I felt like they genuinely liked me.

  “I don’t know how to answer that.” He started the Jeep and backed out of the garage.

  “Jack! I have a right to know what exactly you’re doing with me!” My voice sounded shriller than I had meant it to, but some small part of me was actually afraid. They were powerful and beautiful and they wanted me. It was flattering but terrifying.

  “No, I know. I’ll answer you. Just give me a minute to think about it.” The radio still played Smashing Pumpkins, and he turned it down as we started the drive home.

  “You guys aren’t really brothers are you? I mean, not in the blood relative sense.” It was more of a statement, but Jack laughed and shook his head. “You’re trying to tell me that you all have the same parents?”

  “No, we don’t,” Jack said, still chuckling over my question.

  “You’re more like a fraternity or something?” I asked.

  “Kinda, but more than that.” He was vague, as usual, and I sighed.

  “Jack, what’s going on?” I asked him earnestly. “What is all of this? Why are you guys so different? And why do you think I’m special?”

  “Do you trust me?” He looked gravely at me.

  “Yeah, you know I do.” My heart raced. He was finally going to tell me something.

  “Okay. Then… I will tell you, very soon. But you just have to wait a little bit longer.”

  “Why? What’s going to happen in a little bit longer?” I demanded to know. “I’ve met your family, I hang out wi
th you all the time, and I know that you’re not exactly human. What’s left?”

  “It’s complicated,” Jack sighed. “And I… I don’t want to scare you off.”

  “What could possibly scare me off after all I’ve seen with you?” I insisted incredulously.

  “There are still parts of me you don’t know.” He kept his voice even, but it sounded more like an ominous warning. He gave me a sidelong glance to see how I’d responded, so I tried to look brave, but he could tell that he’d rattled me. “It’s about more than just trusting me, or even trusting my family. It’s about who you are.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” By now, I was getting frightened and confused, and I just wished he could be straight with me, for once.

  “‘When you dance with the devil, the devil doesn’t change. The devil changes you.’” The way Jack said it, it didn’t sound like it came directly from him. He was quoting someone, so I took a stab in the dark.

  “What? Is that like Dylan Thomas you’re using to confuse me?”

  “No, it’s Joaquin Phoenix, and I’m not trying to confuse you. I’m just trying to prepare you.” For some reason, that sent chills down my spine, and I really wondered what he had in store for me.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” I told him when I finally found the will to speak. We’d already pulled up in front of my building, and I knew he wouldn’t answer anyway.

  “We don’t want anything with you.” He bit his lip and looked over at me. “We just want you to be one of us.”

  - 10 -

  “What does that mean?” I know I looked terrified despite my best efforts, but he just smiled at me.

  “I answered your question.” He nodded at my building. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, right, like I can sleep after that,” I muttered opening the door. “When did you get so damn ominous? Were you watching Vincent Price last night or something?”

  Jack just laughed, and I got out of the Jeep. When he drove off, I stayed outside for a minute, letting the cold air seep into my skin. My whole life was changing. I could feel it. Everything about me was going to be different, and I had no idea what I was going to become.

  For the first time ever, I woke up before Milo but not by choice. I had been dreaming something about Peter’s emerald eyes and gnashing teeth, but by the time I woke up in a cold sweat, I couldn’t really put it together.

  My heart pounded horribly and my head was swimming. It had taken forever for me to fall asleep last night, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom.

  They wanted me to be one of them? What kind of horror movie crap was that? Did they expect me to marry into the family (and if so, was I supposed to marry Jack… or Peter?)

  Or was it something more horrific, like they were in a cult or something? Was I expected to be some kind of virgin sacrifice?

  While taking a shower, I tried to wash away my trepidation. Despite all the unusual and sometimes frightening occurrences, I couldn’t imagine that Jack would ever hurt me. Mae and Ezra seemed sincere in their unexplained affection for me, and even Peter had shown a reluctance to hurt me.

  All of it reminded me of a story I had read once. A young rather unattractive girl climbed a mountain and accidentally stumbled into a village of the most beautiful people she’d ever seen.

  Everyone in the entire town was absolutely perfect and amazing, but since everyone looked that way, they had grown bored with it. Being perfect was ordinary, but all the things about her that made her ugly in her old life made her stand out as beautiful and revered. Everyone fell in love with her and had sex with her, and eventually she died of exhaustion and depression.

  The story had some kind of moral about how everyone used her for the way she looked, and being liked for the way you looked is worse than not being liked at all.

  That wasn’t what stood out to me about it now. Jack and his family were flawless, and I was just ordinary and boring. Maybe they spent too much time keeping to themselves, and my general homeliness was new and refreshing for them. It was the only explanation I had for why they’d want me around.

  But then, how exactly would I go about becoming one of them? And why would they even want me to? Just what the hell did he even mean by “one of them?” One of them what?

  By the time I got out of the shower, I had used up all the hot water. I muttered an apology to Milo, but he shrugged and said he didn’t mind cold showers.

  Going to school had never seemed so much like a chore, but at least it was Friday. I could stay out as late as I wanted tonight, and I would spend every second of the night interrogating Jack if that’s what it took. I wouldn’t stop until he told me everything.

  The day went by surprisingly fast, but that was in a large part because I slept my first three hours. Over my lunch break, I text messaged Jack and asked him when we were going to hang out.

  Even though he usually responded to me within seconds, he didn’t this time, but that’s what I had mostly expected since he stayed up all hours of the night. Still, I couldn’t help but check my phone every ten minutes and feel a twinge of disappointment that he hadn’t answered.

  When I got home, I turned the TV onto old Speed Racer cartoon reruns, but I didn’t even really pay attention to it. My phone was on my lap with the volume turned up full blast, and I kept bouncing my foot anxiously up and down. I crossed my arms tightly over my chest to keep from biting my nails, but it was a very hard battle.

  “Are you going over to Jack’s tonight?” Milo sat on the couch, absently watching the cartoon. He glanced over at me, and even in my distracted frame of mind, I noticed the pained expression on his face.

  “Probably.” Then I looked down at my phone and sighed. “Maybe not.”

  “I could make us supper if you stayed in,” Milo offered hopefully.

  Even though his voice had already changed, his face still carried all that baby fat that made him look like a little boy, and I couldn’t wait for him to grow out of that. Then it wouldn’t hurt so much when I broke his heart.

  I really had been neglecting him a lot lately, and it had to be horrible sitting in this tiny apartment all by himself night after night. But I had to get to the bottom of things with Jack.

  “That’s a nice idea, but not tonight.” I let him down as gently as I could, but his face crumbled anyway, and he looked away. “Maybe we can another day this weekend.”

  “You’re gonna be out all night with Jack.” Milo tried to keep it matter-of-fact, but there was a bitter edge. “It’s the weekend, and you’re seventeen. I really shouldn’t expect any different. And pretty soon, you’ll be out on your own and have your own life and all that. I should just get used to it now.”

  “Come on, Milo. You know you’ll always be a part of my life.” Before I had met Jack, I would’ve said that with a 100% certainty. Milo was my brother and a huge part of my life, and nothing that could change that.

  At least that’s what I thought until Jack had half-warned/half-promised me that my life was going to change, that I was going to change. There might be somewhere that I went that Milo couldn’t follow. As much as it would kill me to leave him behind, the thought of life without Jack and Peter sounded worse.

  “Whatever you say,” Milo replied, and he was completely unconvinced. Maybe it was starting to show on my face, that I already had one foot out the door.

  I considered arguing with him more about it, but what was the point? Things were changing, and we both felt it. I didn’t want to lie to Milo, so we sat in silence, watching the TV. I expected him to get up and go in another room, or at least somewhere else to mourn my impending absence, but he stayed out there with me.

  When my phone finally jingled Jack’s ring tone, my heart skipped a beat and I jumped at it, but Milo just rolled his eyes.

  When do you wanna hang out? Jack texted me.

  As soon as possible.

  You know what I think would be fun? Why don’t you bring Mil
o with? Jack messaged back, and I felt a wave of conflicting emotions run over me.

  Bringing him along would definitely satiate my guilt, but it would also mean even less alone time with Jack where I could drill him for answers. Plus, I still hadn’t figured out what they wanted with me, let alone what they could possibly want with Milo. But he would like them, especially Mae.

  Finally, I decided that there was only one way to make a decision.

  “Milo, do you wanna come with me to Jack’s tonight?” I tried hard not to sound reluctant about asking him, and I even smiled when I turned to look at him, trying to make the offer sound somewhat enticing.

  “What do you mean?” His eyes lit up and his voice raised an octave, but he wanted to make sure he understood what was transpiring before he agreed to it.

  “Just go over to Jack’s house and hang out. He has Guitar Hero and stuff .” That would be an added bonus for Jack. He’d have someone to play video games with him that didn’t get irritated by it or totally suck at it.

  “Do you really want me to?” Milo hesitated, and I smiled reassuringly at him.

  “Yeah, of course I do.” I wanted to be around him, but I wasn’t sure that this was the best idea.

  But it was the best idea I could come up with, and nothing bad had happened to me when I’d been with Jack. In fact, he’d saved my life twice. There shouldn’t be anything to worry about. So why was I worried?

  “Then okay. Yeah. That’d be great.” Milo jumped up and ran into his room to change his clothes. He still had that crush on Jack to contend with, and I’m sure he’d forget all about it once he met Peter and Ezra.

  He’s in. When are you picking us up? I replied to Jack.

  Five minutes. I’m already on my way. That was Jack for you, not being psychic.

  “You better hurry!” I shouted at Milo and went into the bathroom to fix my makeup. The clothes I was wearing would have to do, but at least I wouldn’t go there with smudged eyeliner. “He’s gonna be here in five minutes!”