My Life - Wishy Washy, Page 2

  The winter’s moonlight was high above the skyscrapers of Manhattan, and a massive shadow of death spread, engulfing the building. I felt an ominous chill as I moved closer and closer toward the building. Zigzagging through the crowd, at this time of the night, I found myself searching every face I passed, wondering if Satan would watch me this time. Corrective criticism never hurt anyone much. My hands were warm.

  As I crossed East 76 Street, I sensed Manhattan square, having the exact effect as the black cat that just passed in front of me – that of (humbling all those that it crossed). I certainly felt humbled now. That Satan the Devil put so much faith in me, for a moment, surprised such a mundane thought could enter my head at a moment like this.

  I smiled and stopped at the door as the night door attendant opened it for me and said, “Good evening sir.” I nodded in return and said nothing. I walked smartly, but offhandedly. It was time.

  A few feet away, lay the lobby as I entered the room. Empty. I pushed the button for the elevator to come to me, not wanting more eyes on my presence. I arrived at the Penthouse the door was open; the lock was broken. I entered, closed the door behind me.

  The room was luxurious – marvelous floors, an Oakwood dining room table, pictures lay on top of each other. I heard a toilet flush, and moments later the door opposite of me opened and my uncle walked out, the door automatically closing behind him.

  “I knew you would come for me – it was only time until you put all the pieces together.” “Don’t you mean pictures?” looking at the floor. “My God is stronger than your God,” my uncle said. “Yeah, but he doesn’t care anymore.” Tonight, at last, I felt I had begun to repay my debt. Hurrying to reach inside my coat pocket, my fingers found what they were searching for my miniature snub-nosed revolver I wrapped my fingers around it. My uncle stared at me, immobile except for the spark in his ghostly eyes. I tilted my head, as my uncle peering down the barrel of my gun. I aimed my weapon. “Revenge for my big sister, it’s so sad that only I will know the truth of you.” The gun did not roar because of the silencer, but my uncle felt a blazing heat as the bullet stuck fast in his stomach. He fell backward struggling against the pain. Slowly my uncle rolled his eyes over and stared back at me. I was now taking dead aim for his head. My uncle closed his eyes, his thoughts a swirling hurricane of fear and regret. Why did I keep the pictures? Not that it would of matter any which way Satan is always watching. The click of an empty chamber echoed softly in the room. My work here is done. Finally, he feels the blood begin to gush out of him he died nine seconds later.

  Chapter 6

  Not many young boys can remember meeting the Devil but I can. I was ten years old riding my bicycle and worn-out from the wind whipping around me and I prayed to the God I thought I knew and God answered back … his name was Satan the Devil. Still is. It was just a name to me. I did not realize it had a connotation that went along with that name. Some people call him an enemy of the true God. I call him well you know, they are just names something I know about I have had quite a few throughout my lifetime.

  I met him the night after riding my bicycle home and had an early ceremonial dinner. I do not know why I call it ceremonial; if I remember correctly and I would like to think that I am, it became more of a ritual night after fright. At the bewitching hour when I met the God living in my closet He goes by many names – Lucifer, a human’s name. Gog of the land of Magog, Satan, The evil one, the prince of darkness, an angel of light if you can call that a name – I don’t know. He has other names I am sure. If I told you I would have to kill you.

  I suddenly felt all alone. I knew being alone would not last for long, because whenever I talk about Satan the Devil or think about the demons they always appear before my eyes and want to possess my human body. They love to have that kind of power over me to control my every movement, and force me to drink their demonic juice again. It tastes like cold blood probably because it is, in all likelihood it used to be warm but the demons like the chilliness it reminds them of the frostiness in the abyss the place with the aim of me to visit more often don’t ask. Do not tell.

  It had been a bizarre day. Of course, any day working for the Devil and his demons had the impending imminent feeling of dreadfulness and shock.

  The demons had left my body quickly without speaking and that was highly abnormal but having demons live in your body cavity is out of the ordinary. What’s normal anyways? I don’t know.

  I locked myself in my room after they left, yeah, that will help keep them away. What else was I suppose to say or do? I am presently a young man, turning twenty-one tomorrow.

  The touch of Satan awoke me. His hand was caressing my inner heart, something that he wants very badly don’t ask me why he doesn’t tell me – but he does say that it has to be given to him, that is one piece of a human body he cannot take it has to be given freely from the giver. I gave him my heart after I killed the man who raped my big sister. He is in command of my destiny I cannot refuse I have tried a hundred times and he never lets me forget what he has done for me.

  I did not remember how I had gotten to her room, but I was there. Staring at her nakedness, her breathing labored now. My apprehensive gaze passed through her like a ghost. I had taken the vile of cocaine from her hand and inhaled some myself, she looked alluring her legs were spread and her public hair was shaved like a V were many travel - I was sure of that because I know what the after bites of demons look like, the feeling of after sex still burned in my memory.

  As I walked around her bed I could see her pussy juice, I became aroused. My world swirled into darkness. Satan! In my mind’s eye, I reached for him. For just a moment, in the sanctuary of my memory, I was with him. I was ten years old, racing my bicycle down streets alongside of demons my friends my only friends. I felt so blessed my life was becoming darker around me and there was nothing I could do about it nothing I wanted to do about it.

  Father, Father I call out!

  The Devil was laughing beside me, shimmering now that I have found my true calling. Smiling now, he edging me toward the hot sexy bloody female that I was staring at I wanted her pussy. She was one of many tonight.

  “Happy twenty-first my son …” He looked at the warm delicious bitch. I followed his gaze. “Okay,” I said, “Now I understood.”

  The sound of the wooden door startled me. I opened my eyes and I was still licking her pussy. He was gone.

  Reality rushed in, wrapping my tongue in and around her vagina. She felt like the warmth of a nursing mother I was far from thinking about anything else. A single conscious thought began pounding at my brain with unrelenting force. Get on with it, Get on with it. One down and twenty more to follow tonight was going to be an all-nighter.

  Chapter 7

  I could see number 21 was still alive from mounting her after the demons had their fun with her mouth and ass especially her tits, what a nice set of tits. Her name was Kellianne and I could not kill her, she was everything I wanted in a girlfriend – maybe who knows perhaps someday a wife. “Wife,” I said aloud and the demons repeated the word, “Wife.”

  I think the demons were in love with her also. One look at her and you could tell that God threw away the mode after her creation. She was perfect. She was a blond redhead with hair hanging ten inches below her buttocks, long slim legs asking to be stroked a golden pussy pleading to be kissed and bring out into play every day and night. Then there was her ass oh yes her ass, I was in love and I could not kill her. So we raced away and found ourselves in Las Vegas … need I say anything more?

  Eight months later we had a beautiful home birth a little baby boy. My whole family was seated and drinking coffee and eating donuts in the living room – I think a little birdie told them about the birth.

  Life with Kellianne and my son was wonderful and to top it off no demons were around. What gives? I do not know. I liked it, so I began to enjoy having a beautiful wife and a very cute little baby boy. We named him Buddy.

  For at least
six years, I did not hear a voice or see any of the Demon Gods. Even Satan the Devil had disappeared from my life or so it seemed. Then one day the shit hit the fan and only God knew what it was.

  They were back.

  After seeing Kellianne naked in bed I quit killing. I was still dark and mysterious I liked being in the shadows, my wife and son enjoyed being out in the sun.

  It was at that time I began to hear the voices of the past asking me, begging me, to return to the place that I left. I did not want to have that kind of a life anymore . . . a life of a killer. I felt the emptiness in my heart I missed the screams of women and men becoming extinct in front of me, the look on he/she face as I enjoyed the last kiss of their life.

  I held no grudge although I understood I would return someday or another and stand beside Satan’s side once again. Not only was he my master, but he had also been the only father I have known, a fact that elevated his love for me. Although I am just a mortal human still within dying, he understood this. At twenty-seven years old, I had crossed the unspoken threshold beyond which no human that I know of has ever stepped into “The Abyss.”

  The Devil stopped talking and only stared at me. I said nothing back. The Devil looked troubled. I thought how a human could hurt a spirit creature. The Devil did not look outraged, only a little lost.

  My world, Charrrlie You are in it tonight. Listen closely.” Satan spoke once again via my first name. “Using my demons in and around the world would be out of control. It could cause confusion and panic among humans but nothing is wrong with that, and frankly, it’s your turn to cause fear in the heart of man once again.” He added, “make the churches burn as you made the others burn. The church of men is no longer clean, no longer will it be used as a safe haven, and I am in no doubt you will do your duty if you know what’s good for you?”

  I was impressed. Satan’s cold, smart common sense reminded me of myself. “Father,” I said, my voice tense, “Tonight is Easter Sunday. There will be hundreds of people inside the churches at that hour. Thousands the destruction, I can only estimate. How many children will die? The little children what have they done to deserve this? I won’t do this I will wait for the children to go outside.” I glanced suspiciously out the window looking at my wife and child. “Leave my wife and child alone, I am well aware of my responsibilities to the darkness of your world,” I replied, “And it makes all the difference. To protect my family I will become your killer once again and enjoy drinking my victim’s blood. I have been your son for over two decades. I have no other desires but to please you.”

  Satan looked down. “You think this will cover all your sins? We can discuss your discipline later when it comes to that.”

  Now I was the one who looked troubled. “You will have to think of something, Charlie. Tell them you must go and help an old friend who has got into a car accident, someone you have not seen from your collage days. She will believe you. You have never lied to her. I am always watching.” “Lie to my wife? I couldn’t do that.” “For their safety you must just a little white lie. You will do as you are commanded.” I picked up my cell phone and walked towards my wife. “You must let them go, so that you can kill. I call it love, love for the family.”

  “Don’t you mean abandonment?” Satan’s voice was razor-sharp. “What are the differences? There is no other way, Charlie . . . anyway in hell; they will lay down their life if you refuse.” Satan looked out the window and saw Kellianne and Buddy’s nude sun bathing. “I will keep my word my conscience is a futile exercise. They will live.”

  “Play into her hands?” Make her believe by removing any doubt in order for you to do your duty.” The point hit home.

  Satan was thinking again, a hint of rage in his voice. “Charlie Browne, you will do as you are told.” I looked at Satan the Devil dead in the eye. “God help me.” But it was too late for that, way too late.

  Chapter 8

  So I became the slayer again under the demon sword, I was sorry, I was hurtful but it brought back good memories.

  I paused and looked at my image in the mirror. I became something the devil always wanted from me, to kill innocent people – but they were not all in the clear. These are the ones that I really loved to kill – but I never drank their blood I did as Satan had shown me to do pour it out on the ground and walk away.

  I do not know any longer if I believe in God.

  I did or at the very least, I think I did. My voice was always under control. My thoughts and actions let us just say I had worked under the Devil’s tutelage for many years. I eventually became his son. Yet still, a mortal. He is the only one I ever felt close to and vice versa.

  My heart did a back over summersault and I sensed loneliness in my soul. The demons had arrived beneath my feet, and now they howled in the darkness. They were at face level now. I looked at them. They are looking back smiling. I felt sudden empathy with them.

  I died two times while on this earth and the Devil always brought me back. He took care of me. At that time, I was not surprised. I sensed God had a purpose for me even as a boy. My only wish and desire was simply confirmed what I had already assumed, that God had somehow chosen me to do his evil deeds.

  Men can heal, or men can kill. It depends on the Ouija board, but in Satan’s world “neither here nor there” seems to make a difference. The killing interests me. How wretched.

  When I talk to myself as I am doing now I often ask, when did I hear my calling? Before I was born, I think, I looked once again at the image in the mirror and became afraid all over again.

  I am sorry that always seems like a strange statement to make.

  What I mean is that I had always known I would serve the God who lives in my closet. From the very first voice, I heard I think. It was not until I was eighteen when I began to comprehend my purpose.

  For eight years. I refused to enter the closet, so they gave me gifts. I could fly at night only at night with them right beside me in fact, I still fly but alone now.

  Voices, in my hotel room I turned to look. Shadows emblazoned the pain on my face. It had been six years now since the slaughter of my son. We are going to see him right now.

  Chapter 9

  He lied, nothing abnormal about that is there? I should have known but I did not think he would treat me in such a way as he treats others. However, I have been known to be wrong about Satan the Devil and his true habits.

  When I woke up later the next day, or was it last week? I am not sure; I felt as though I had died. I had hardly slept and something about death, the news about my son, the fact of coming home and seeing that Kellianne had removed all of his things, left me feeling alone and broken down. I got out of bed, and felt as though I had a hangover as I half stumbled and looked in the mirror. I never was one for drinking, but I felt moldy, and then I saw the bite marks and dehydrated demon cum upon my skin – that explained everything even the horrible smell.

  Maybe I should start drinking, I thought after seeing my reflection as I walked into the bathroom. I ran a hot shower, I stepped under it for a full nine minutes and hoped it would wash away the feeling I had about the Devil and his Demon Gods, it almost did. I wanted to see Kellianne today, because I really did care about her even if I could not show her or Buddy they were the apples of my eyes.

  I walked into the kitchen stark naked and loving every moment of it and made myself a cup of hot coco, a drink I have come accustomed to, I didn’t have any cool whip and the demons reached out for me. Not again, I was going to be abused in all the wrong places – there were parts of my body that I did not even know what I had but that did not stop the Demon Gods from tutoring me. About the ins and outs of daily life living with the demons as if, I cared. Come on.

  Satan never discuss discipline with me he just started with his Demons Gods, there were demonic cold voices and demons pressing around me everywhere. The wild screams, demons flung at me, they entered my body and Satan the Devil was smiling, but I acted as if I did not see him. The Demon
Gods claimed me, and they whisked me away, I could not help thinking about my wife and departed son, how passionately I loved them, how desperately I hated Satan the Devil.

  In the years since, DEMONIC AIDS had become my nemesis, my obsession, and my passion.

  How depressing!

  Most of my friends – yeah right friends were homosexual men, I killed them all but as time rolled along, I would see more and more women who didn’t mind being fucked in the ass, mouth and pussy at the same time with my so called invisible associates.

  By the end of each year drained of all energy and emotion. I realized that I had become like father and grandfather a killer of men. The women I would just use for sex and demonic pleasure. The only human being I could still think of offering anything to be my x-wife. I tried to spend as much time as possible watching her from the shadows, where she went for lunch and whom she was fucking. I habitually followed them home afterward and fucked him before, during and after killing him, it was so much fun, and Satan knew that.

  “What are you doing?” he scolded as he watched me kill number 23 and toss him in the trash compactor. “Having fun, and besides,” looking straight into Satan’s eyes and laughing, “What’s it to you?”

  That was a big mistake on my end, my mother was right.

  Chapter 10

  Hundreds of miles away in another world in the unseen place, the abyss was bitter cold. “Give it to me,” the shadow said. He too has a preference to stay in the darkness, out of sight. “And you left tracks of who is responsible?” “Everywhere,” the evil spirit answered back. “Now he will take his place among us.” The evil one’s eyes glistened, black like coal. He laid it very careful on the table for all to see and touch. The shadow seemed pleased. “You have done well.” “Serving the prince of darkness is all that I live for,” the demons screamed once again in unison. “All that we live for!” He smiled and said, “Now we wait and watch.” Yeah, who knew?