Fiscal Constraints, Page 4

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  “Does phasing out the aphids represent a major saving?”

  “Well… not a major saving, but nevertheless a substantial one.”

  “And the ladybugs?”

  “Ah, well, I’m not quite sure where they went. I’m still checking the output to see what happened there.”

  “Well then, shall I put you out of your misery, thereby saving several valuable working hours?

  “Sir?”

  “They died. The ladybugs all died off. Starved to death. They eat aphids, boy! Of course they’ve all gone!”

  “Oh…”

  “You didn’t think of that, did you? No, of course you didn’t. And to think that I had such hopes for you! And what of the ants?”

  “Ants, sir?”

  “Some ants find the aphids very useful. Perhaps you thought that by getting rid of the ants and the ladybugs as well, you could effect major savings and bring the whole project back within budget?”

  “I never thought of that, sir, it could really work!”

  “Don’t be stupid, boy! We need ants and we need aphids and we need ladybugs. They all play their part. There are no unnecessary details, they were all weeded out in the design concept phase. Everything in the specification is there for a reason and it all has to be included.”

  “This doesn’t seem easy, sir.”

  “Whatever made you think it would be? This is the hardest and most thankless task of all. Any fool can design an animal or plan a habitat, but we have to consider the entire eco-system. We have to keep within budget while maintaining ecological balance. Hard, very hard. That’s what makes it so worthwhile, isn’t it?”

  “Um… yes, sir.”

  “Good. Now, any more suggestions?”

  “Well…”

  “Come on, out with it boy, out with it. Don’t be afraid to speak up!”

  “I was just wondering… what if, rather than cutting something out completely, we just reduced the overall numbers?”

  “Of what?”

  “Of everything! We keep the same basic design - it would be far too expensive to change that now - and simply make a proportional reduction in the number of individuals of every species. That way we keep the balance, yet make small savings everywhere which could add up to a major saving on the whole project.”

  “Yes… a nice try. Perhaps you’ll have a future after all. But, I’m afraid you’re forgetting the Biomass requirement.”

  “Sir?”

  “Ah, you had forgotten! We have very particular requirements laid down for the total Biomass. They even detail its distribution across the globe with climate and environment. It’s very important to the final plan. They were quite clear on that: the Biomass specifications must be met exactly if is all to become property self-regulating.”

  “Tricky, sir, very tricky. Is there some way we could make it up? Something cheap to produce, but still with a reasonable overall Biomass contribution.”

  “Perhaps, but if we increase the numbers of some small, inexpensive item we fulfil the Biomass requirements but then we affect the all-important balance. This will require careful thought.”

  “Yes, sir. It’s a shame we don’t have something that has no impact on the overall balance?

  “What?”

  “I said…”

  “Yes, yes, I heard. That’s it, boy! Well done!”

  “Sir?”

  “We need something that’s individually cheap to produce, has reasonable Biomass contribution per unit, yet is readily adaptable to different climates and environments, so we can get the Biomass distribution by climate and environment without any expensive modification. At the same time, increasing its numbers must not have a negative impact on the overall balance.”

  “If only, sir, if only! But we don’t have anything like that on the books.”

  “Don’t interrupt! Of course we do! Don’t you see, boy? The Dominant Species!”

  “The Dominant Species, sir?”

  “Think about! It fits all our criteria and, the truly beautiful part, increasing its numbers will, of course, have an impact on the balance, but that doesn’t matter!”

  “It doesn’t?”

  “Of course not. It’s not meant to be part of the balance! Upsetting the balance is its primary function. It’s the engine that drives development! That’s marvellous, boy! A proportional decrease in everything else will preserve the original balance and reduce the budget and then we whump up the numbers of the Dominant Species to preserve the Biomass. Might even accelerate the rate of change and bring the whole project in early as well as under budget. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! I do believe we’ve finally done it.”

  “Yes, sir, it certainly looks like it.”

  “Now, set the model running and you can join me in celebrating my inevitable promotion.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Not at all.”

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  After breakfast, he sprayed the aphids while she went back indoors and fed the baby.

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