Fallen Too Far

  I pulled my shirt off and then reached for his. He lifted his arms for me as I pulled his shirt over his head. He made quick work of my bra and it was gone with nothing between us. His hands cupped my breasts as he brushed his thumb over each hard crest. “You are so fucking unbelievably gorgeous. Inside and out,” he whispered. “As much as I don’t deserve it I want to be buried inside you. I can’t wait. I just need to get as close to you as I can get.”

  I scooted back from him and stood up. After slipping off my shoes, I unsnapped my shorts and pushed them down along with my panties then stepped out of them. He sat there watching me like I was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. It felt powerful. The embarrassment I expected to feel from standing naked in front of him wasn’t there.

  “Get naked,” I said, looking down at his erection pressing against his jeans.

  I thought that would get an amused chuckle from him but it didn’t. He stood up, quickly stepping out of his jeans and then sank back down on the couch pulling me with him.

  “Straddle me,” he instructed. I did as I was told. “Now,” he gulped, “ease down on me.” I looked down and saw him holding the base of his cock. I grabbed onto his shoulders and slowly lowered myself as he handled everything else.

  “Easy, baby. Slow and easy. You’re gonna be sore.”

  I nodded and bit my bottom lip as the tip started to enter me. He moved the head back and forth over my opening, teasing me. I squeezed his shoulders and gasped. It felt good. So very good.

  “That’s it. You’re getting so fucking wet. God, I want to taste it,” he growled.

  Seeing the animalistic look in his eyes flipped a switch in me. I wanted to make him remember me. Remember this. I knew our time was limited and I knew I’d never forget him. Still, I wanted to know that when he walked away he’d never forget me. I didn’t want to be that one girl whose virginity he took.

  Leaning forward, I waited until he rubbed the head against my entrance. Then I sank down hard with a loud cry as it filled me.

  “SHIT,” Rush shouted. I didn’t wait for him to worry about me. I was going to ride him. I understood the terminology now. I was in control of this. He started to open his mouth and say something but I stopped him by plunging my tongue into his mouth while I lifted my hips and sank back down onto him again harder. The groan and buckling sensation of his body under me assured me I was doing something right.

  I broke apart so I could cry out as I began riding him faster and harder. The tenderness inside me was screaming out with the stretching of his entrance but it was a good pain.

  “Blaire, oh holy fuck Blaire,” he ground out as his hands grabbed my hips and he let himself break free and enjoy the ride. His hands began taking over. He lifted me and slammed me back down onto him with fast and hard thrusts. Every curse and loud moan that escaped him made me wilder. I needed this with him.

  The orgasm was building and I knew after a few more thrusts I was going to break apart on top of him. I wanted him to come too. I began rocking on him and letting out the loud cries I had been trying to control. “I’m gonna come,” I moaned as the sensation built.

  “Fuck baby, so good,” he growled and then we both fell over the top together. His body bucked underneath me and then stilled. My name tore from his lips at the same time my body reached its climax.

  When the tremors slowed and I could breathe again I wrapped my arms around his neck and collapsed on top of him.

  Both his arms held me tightly to him as his breathing slowed. I liked the sweet sex we’d had last night but there was something to be said for fucking. I smiled to myself at the thought and turned my head to kiss his neck.

  “Never. Never in all my life,” he panted running his hand down my back and cupping my bottom with a gentle squeeze. “That was. God, Blaire, I don’t have words.”

  Smiling into his neck I knew I’d made my mark on this perfect, wounded, mysterious confusing man.

  “I believe the word you are looking for is epic,” I said laughing as I leaned back so that I could look at him.

  The tenderness in his eyes melted my heart a little more. “The most epic sex ever known to man,” he replied and reached out to tuck hair behind my ears. “I’m ruined. You know that right? You’ve ruined me.”

  I wiggled my hips and I could feel him still inside me. “Hmmm no, I think you might still work.”

  “God, woman you’re gonna have me hard and ready again. I need to clean you up.”

  I traced his bottom lip with the pad of my finger. “I won’t bleed again. I did that already.”

  Rush pulled my finger into his mouth and sucked on it gently before letting it go. “I wasn’t wearing a condom. I’m clean, though. I always wear a condom and I get checked regularly.”

  I wasn’t sure how to process this. I hadn’t been thinking about a condom.

  “I’m sorry. You got naked and my brain kind of checked out. I promise you I’m clean.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I believe you. I didn’t think about it either.”

  Rush pulled me back against him. “Good because that was fucking unbelievable. I’ve never felt it without a condom. Knowing I was in you and feeling you bare makes me real damn happy. You felt amazing. All hot and wet and so very tight.”

  I rocked against him. His dirty words in my ear made my ache wake back up. “Mmm,” I replied as I felt him grow hard again inside me.

  “Are you on any birth control?”

  I never had a reason to be. I shook my head.

  He groaned and moved my hips off him until he was out of me. “We can’t do that again until you are. But you’ve got me all hard again.” He reached between my legs and ran a finger against my swollen clit. “So sexy,” he murmured. I let my head fall back and enjoyed his soft touch.

  “Blaire, come take a shower with me,” he asked in a strained voice.

  “Okay,” I said, looking back at him. He helped me up and then led me to his bigger than life bathroom.

  “I want you in the shower. What we did out there was the best fucking I’ve ever had in my life. But in here it’s gonna be slower. I’m taking care of you.”

  Chapter Twenty- One

  Leaving Rush in bed this morning had been hard. He’d been sleeping so peacefully I hadn’t wanted to wake him up. I’d refrained from kissing his face before I left. Asleep he seemed so worry free. I didn’t realize how intense and on guard he was until I’d watched him sleep and seen him completely at peace.

  Opening the door to the staffroom I was greeted to the smell of fresh donuts and a smiling Jimmy.

  “Good morning sunshine,” he said cheerily as always.

  “That remains to be seen… are you gonna share those donuts or not?”

  He held the box out to me. “I bought two extras just for you doll. I knew my blond bombshell was coming to work today and I didn’t want to be empty handed.”

  I sat down across from him and reached for my donut. “If I thought you’d enjoy it I’d kiss your face,” I teased.

  Jimmy wiggled his eyebrows, “Who knows, baby? A face like yours can lead a man astray.”

  Laughing, I took a bite of the fluffy warm goodness. This wasn’t healthy but it was so dang good.

  “Eat up because we got us a long ass day ahead. The debutante ball is tonight and we won’t be in the dining room. We’ll all be sent to the ballroom and forced to walk around with trays of food and then serve them all at a sit down dinner.”

  Debutante ball? What the heck was that? “Is that why there are so many trucks outside with flowers and decorations?”

  Jimmy nodded and reached for another chocolate covered donut. “Yep. Happens every year during this week. Crazy rich mommas strut their daughters around and introduce them to society. After tonight, the girls will be considered women and treated as an adult member of the club. They can be on committees and the like. It’s crazy ass bullshit is what it is. Especially since Nan turned twenty-one a few weeks back. That means she ge
ts to be released into mother fucking adulthood.”

  Nan was a debutante. That was interesting. Her mother wasn’t here. Did this mean she was returning? My heart sped up… I’d have to leave soon. Rush hadn’t told me that anything had changed about my moving out. When I left would he still see me?

  “Breathe, Blaire. It’s just a damn ball,” Jimmy said. I took a deep breath. I hadn’t realized I’d started to panic. This is why I’d wanted to keep my distance. I knew this day was coming. Would my dad be home today then?

  “What time does it start?” I managed to ask without a hitch in my voice.

  “Seven but they will close down the dinning at five to get us ready.”

  I nodded and put the rest of my donut down. I couldn’t finish it. Today would be a waiting game. I felt the phone in my pocket but I couldn’t text Rush. I didn’t want him to tell me any bad news through a text message. I’d just wait.

  “Blaire, I need to see you a moment in my office,” Woods’ voice broke into my thoughts. My eyes shot to Jimmy’s and his were wide with concern. Great. What had I done?

  I stood up and turned to face Woods. He didn’t look angry. He smiled at me and it gave me the courage I needed to walk toward him. He held the door open for me and I stepped out into the hall.

  “Relax, Blaire. You aren’t in trouble. We just need to discuss tonight.”

  Oh. Whew. I took a deep breath and nodded then followed him to a door at the end of the hall.

  “I don’t get anything glamorous. Dad believes in making me work my way to the top. Even if I’ll inherit the club one day.” Woods rolled his eyes while opening the office door and waved me inside. The room was as large as my bedroom at Rush’s. It had two large picture windows overlooking the eighteenth hole.

  Woods walked over to sit on the edge of his desk instead of behind it. I appreciated his trying not to make this very formal. That would make me nervous.

  “The Debutante Ball is tonight. It is an annual event around here. We make spoiled little rich bitches into adults. It’s a stupid pain in the ass that makes the club over fifty million dollars in profits with fees, donations and the like. So we can’t stop the nonsense. Not that my mother would if she could. She was a debutante once upon a time and you’d think she had been crowned queen of England to hear her talk about it.”

  I wasn’t feeling better about tonight. This explanation was making it worse.

  “Nan is twenty- one now. So, she’ll be a debutante. I looked over the line up and Rush will be her escort; it’s traditional for the girl’s father or older brother to escort her. The escort must also be a member of the club. I don’t know what is going on with you and Rush but I do know that Nan hates you. I don’t need drama tonight. I do however, need you. You’re one of our best. Question is, can you do this without a catfight? Because Nan will do her best to push your buttons. It will be all on you to ignore it. You may be dating a member but you’re the help. Doesn’t change that. The member is always right. The club will have to side with Nan if a fight were to break out.”

  What was he expecting? This wasn’t high school. We were all adults. I could ignore Nan and Rush all night if need be.

  “I can do this. No problem.”

  Woods gave a brisk nod. “Good, because the pay is excellent and you need the experience.”

  “I can do it,” I reassured him.

  Woods stood up. “I’m trusting that you can. You can go help Jimmy with breakfast now. He is probably cursing us both.”

  The rest of the day flew by and I was so busy with preparations that had no time to think about Nan or my father’s return. Or Rush. Now I was standing in the kitchen with every other server on staff. I was in a white and black server dress with my hair pulled up onto my head in a bun. I was beginning to get butterflies in my stomach.

  This was the first time I’d have to face the differences between Rush and me. His world versus mine. They would collide tonight. I had prepared myself for any remarks Nan might make about me. I had even spoken with Jimmy about being a buffer and keeping me from having to go near Nan. I wanted to see Rush or even speak to him but I had a feeling that would be frowned on.

  “Show time. Hors d'oeuvres and drinks people. You know your job. Let’s go.” Darla was running the show tonight backstage. I picked up my tray of martinis and headed for the line-up at the door. Everyone left quickly and we all made different paths through the crowd. Mine was a semicircle clockwise. Unless I saw Nan, then I turned counterclockwise and Jimmy went clockwise. It was a good plan. I just hoped it worked.

  The first couple I walked up to didn’t even acknowledge me as they chatted and took a drink from the tray. That was easy enough. I made it through several more groups. Some of the men and women I recognized from the golf course. They would always nod and smile when they noticed me but that was it.

  Halfway through the room my tray was empty and I made a mental note of the stopping point. I hurried back to the kitchen for more drinks. Darla was waiting for me. She shoved a new tray of martinis at me and shooed me away.

  I made it back to my spot only having to stop twice and allow someone to get a drink off the tray. Mr. Jenkins called out my name and waved. I smiled back at him. He played eighteen holes every Friday and Saturday. It amazed me that a ninety-year-old man could get around that well. He also came in for coffee black and two poached eggs Monday through Friday mornings.

  As I turned back from smiling his way my eyes locked with Rush’s. I had tried hard not to look for him although I knew he was here. It was Nan’s big night. Rush wouldn’t miss it. No reason he should. She was mean but she was his sister. It was me she detested. Not him.

  His face looked pained and his small smile was forced. I smiled back at him trying really hard not to think about his weird greeting. At least he had looked my way. I hadn’t known what to expect from him.

  Doctor and Mrs. Wallace both greeted me and told me they missed seeing me on the golf course. I lied and told them I missed it too. Then I headed back to the kitchen for yet another tray.

  Darla shoved a tray with champagne at me, “Go, go, hurry,” she barked.

  I walked as swiftly as I could with a tray full of champagne flutes. Once in the ballroom I started my same path again through members who were deeper in conversations and I was just a tray of drinks. I liked this better. I didn’t feel on edge.

  Bethy’s familiar giggle caught my attention and I turned to look for her. I hadn’t seen her in the kitchen earlier. I’d assumed Darla hadn’t wanted her to work this function. Or Woods’ dad hadn’t.

  Bethy wasn’t dressed like us. She had on a clingy black chiffon dress and her long brown hair was piled up on her head with ringlets hanging down around her face. She turned her head, catching my eyes, and she broke into a huge grin. I watched as she hurried over to me. The stiletto heels she was wearing didn’t even slow her down.

  “Can you believe that I’m here as a guest?” Bethy asked, looking around us in awe and then back at me. I shook my head because I couldn’t.

  “When Jace came to my apartment on his knees and begging last night I told him if he wanted me he had to claim me as his girlfriend in public. He agreed and well, you get the picture. Things got real hot up in my apartment. But anyways here I am,” she gushed.

  Jace had manned up. Good for him. I glanced over her shoulder to see Jace watching us. I smiled at him and nodded my approval. He flashed me a crooked grin with a shrug.

  “I’m glad to know he got some sense knocked into him,” I replied.

  Bethy squeezed my arm. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  She didn’t have anything to thank me for but I smiled. “Go have a good time. I’ve got to get these all passed out before your aunt comes out here and catches me talking.”

  “Okay. I will, I wish you could enjoy it with me, though.” Her eyes glanced over my shoulder. I knew she was looking at Rush. He was here and he was ignoring me in front of all these people. He was doing it for Nan’s sake
but did that make it any better?

  It slowly dawned on me. I’d become Bethy.

  “I need the money so I can get my own place,” I told her with a forced smile. “Go mingle,” I encouraged her and walked off to the next group of people.

  The eyes following me sent a burning sensation up my neck. I knew Rush was watching me. I didn’t have to turn and see him to confirm it. Had he just had the same realization that I had? I doubted it. He was a guy. I had become available and easy. I was also the world’s greatest hypocrite. I was now guilty of what I’d scolded and pitied Bethy for.

  The last champagne flute left my tray and I walked back through the crowd careful not to go near Rush or Nan. I didn’t even glance their way. I had some pride left. I only had to stop three times for guests to put their empty flutes on my tray as I hurried back to the safety of the kitchen.

  “Good you’re back. Take this tray. We need some food out there before they all drink too much and we have a high-faluting drunken mess on our hands,” Darla said, handing me a tray of things I didn’t recognize. They also smelled bad. I scrunched my nose and held the tray away from me. Darla cackled with laughter.

  “It’s escargot, snails. They’re disgusting but these people think they are a delicacy. Get over the smell and go.” I felt my stomach roll. I could have done without that explanation. Escargot would have been a sufficient description.

  When I reached the entrance to the ballroom I steadied myself and tried not to think about the snails I was giving people to eat or the fact that Rush was in there acting like he didn’t know me at all. After I’d spent the past two nights in his bed.

  “You doing okay?” Woods asked when I walked inside the room. He was at my elbow looking concerned.

  “Yes. Except for the fact I’m giving people snails to eat,” I replied. Woods chuckled, took one from my tray and popped it into his mouth.

  “You should try one. They’re really very good. Especially soaked in garlic and butter.”