Fallen Too Far

  “I don’t wanna leave. I liked Earl, or was his name Kevin? No wait, what happened to Nash? I lost him… I think,” Bethy rambled on as she climbed into the back seat.

  “Who are Earl and Kevin?” I asked as she gripped the headrest and then fell backwards onto the seat.

  “Earl is married. He said he wasn’t but he is. I could tell. The married ones always have the smell about ‘em.”

  What was she talking about?

  Bethy’s door closed and I started to ask her more when the door beside me opened. I turned to see Rush standing there with his hand held out for me to take. “Don’t try to make sense of anything she says. I found her at the bar finishing up a round of six tequila shots that married Earl had bought her. She’s trashed.”

  This wasn’t exactly how I had hoped tonight would go. I’d thought downhome country boys would be different. Maybe treat her with respect. But then she was wearing red leather short shorts. I slipped my hand into Rush’s and he squeezed mine. “No need in explaining anything to her tonight. She won’t remember it in the morning.”

  He was probably right. I stepped out of the Range Rover and he pulled me against his chest before closing the door behind me. “I want a taste of those sweet lips but I’m going to deny myself. We need to get her home before she gets sick,” Rush said in a low husky whisper.

  I nodded. I wanted him to kiss me too but if Bethy was going to be sick then we needed to get her home. I started to move away from him but his arms tightened around me. “But what I said earlier. I meant it. I want you in my bed tonight.”

  Again, all I could do was nod. I wanted in his bed too. I might be as stupid as Bethy when it came to men after all. Rush led me over to the passenger’s side and opened my door for me. “Fuck the friend thing,” he muttered, grabbing my waist to help me up.

  Grinning, I watched him walk back around the front of the Range Rover and climb in. “What’s the grin for?” he asked once he was behind the wheel.

  I shrugged. “‘Fuck the friend thing.’ It made me laugh.”

  Rush chuckled and shook his head before cranking up the Range Rover and pulling out of the now packed parking lot.

  “I know something you don’t know. Yes I do. Yes I do,” Bethy began chanting in a sing-song voice.

  I turned back to look at her. She wasn’t smiling but a clumsy frown was plastered on her face. “I know something,” she whispered loudly.

  “I heard that,” I replied and glanced over and Rush who didn’t appear to be amused. He wasn’t a fan of drunken Bethy.

  “It’s a big secret. A huge one… and I know it. I’m not supposed to but I do. I know something you don’t know. You don’t know. You don’t know,” Bethy started singing again.

  I started to ask her what it was she knew but Rush spoke up first. “That’s enough Bethy.” Rush’s warning was clear. I even shivered from the steeliness in his voice.

  Bethy clamped her lips together and acted as if she was twisting a key and then throwing it away.

  I turned back around wondering if she did know something I needed to know. Rush sure acted like she did. He’d looked ready to stop the car and toss her out.

  Rush began messing with the radio for some music so I decided to remain quiet. Rush was upset because Bethy knew something she wasn’t supposed to know.

  He had so many secrets surrounding him. There were things he refused to talk about. We were attracted to each other. That didn’t mean he had to tell me all his secrets. Did it? No! Of course not. But once again, was I ready to give a part of myself to someone I didn’t really know? He was so guarded. Would I be able to do this with him and not become attached? I wasn’t sure.

  Rush’s hand slipped over mine. I glanced over at him and he was watching the road but he was thinking. I wished I could just ask him. But we weren’t there yet. We might never be. Should I give my virginity to a guy who would be walking out of my life soon with no hope of anything more?

  “That was the best time, ever. I like blue-collar fellas. They’re so much fun,” Bethy slurred sleepily from the backseat. “You should have looked around some more Blaire. It would have been smarter on your part. Rush is a bad idea. ‘Cause there is always Nan.”

  Nan? I turned to look back at Bethy. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was hanging open. A soft snore escaped and I knew any explanation to that comment wouldn’t be happening tonight. At least not from Bethy.

  I turned to look back at Rush whose hand had left mine and was now gripping the steering wheel tightly. His jaw was also clenched. What was the deal with his sister? She was his sister, right?

  “Is Nan your sister?” I asked, watching him for any reaction. He simply nodded but said nothing more. This was what I’d gotten the last time I brought her up. He completely closed down on me.

  “What did Bethy mean then? How would us sleeping together affect Nan?”

  Rush’s entire body was strung tight. He didn’t respond. My heart sank. That secret, whatever it was, would keep us from doing anything more. It was too important to him therefore, it was a warning flag for me. If he couldn’t tell me something even Bethy knew then we had a problem.

  “Nan is my younger sister. I won’t… I can’t talk about her with you.” The way he said “you” made my stomach turn. Something was off here. I wanted to ask more questions but the sadness and loss that washed over me as I realized I wouldn’t be sleeping in his bed tonight or any other night stopped me. This would keep me from getting too close to Rush. I should have never let him touch me like he did earlier. Not when he could so easily toss me aside.

  We remained silent all the way to the offices. Rush got out of the Range Rover without a word and woke Bethy up. Then helped her inside. It was locked but Bethy had a key. She had mumbled something about staying the night here or her daddy would kill her. I didn’t go help. I didn’t have the energy. I just wanted to go to bed. I wanted my bed under the stairs. Not the big new one waiting on me.

  When he got back into the car he was still silent. I tried to figure out why he would shut down like he did over Nan and what Bethy’s comment could mean but nothing made sense. It was only minutes later that we were pulling into the four car garage. I opened my door and climbed down as soon as he put it in park. I didn’t wait for him as I made my way to the door. It was locked so I had to wait on him to come unlock it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Rush opened the door and stood back so I could enter. I walked inside and headed for the kitchen.

  “Your room is upstairs now,” Rush said, breaking the silence.

  I knew that. My mind was just elsewhere. I turned and headed for the steps. Rush didn’t follow me. I wanted to look back and see what he was doing but I couldn’t.

  “I tried to stay away from you.” His words sounded dark. I stopped and turned back around to look down at him. He was standing on the bottom step staring up at me. The pained expression on his face made my heart ache.

  “That first night I tried to get rid of you. Not because I disliked you.” He let out a hard bitter laugh. “But because I knew. I knew you’d get under my skin. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away. Maybe I hated you a little bit then because of the weakness you’d be able to find in me.”

  “What is so wrong with you being attracted to me?” I asked, needing him to at least answer me that.

  “Because you don’t know everything and I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you Nan’s secrets. They’re hers. I love her, Blaire. I’ve loved her and protected her all my life. She’s my little sister. It’s what I do. Even though I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life, I can’t tell you Nan’s secrets.”

  Every word from his mouth sounded like it was being ripped from him. Nan was truly his sister and I understood that kind of loyalty and love. I would have died for Valerie if I could. She had been only fifteen minutes younger than me but I’d have done whatever she needed me to. No guy or other emotion could have made me betray her.

  “I c
an understand that. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.” I was sorry. I’d pried into his life and his sister’s. Obviously whatever Bethy knew she shouldn’t know it. If Bethy thought that Rush’s need to protect his sister would be an issue for us she was wrong.

  Rush closed his eyes tightly and muttered something. He was dealing with something. Maybe this had brought up a bad memory. As much as I’d like to go down there and hug him I knew I wasn’t welcomed right now. I’d messed that up.

  “Good night, Rush,” I said and walked up the stairs. I didn’t look back this time. I went directly to my room.

  There was no mistaking morning time up here with these windows. An alarm clock wouldn’t be needed. The sun had woken me up an hour before my alarm clock had gone off. I showered and dressed with ease now that I had a bathroom right here and more room to move around.

  I wasn’t in the mood to eat Rush’s food this morning. I wasn’t really in the mood to eat but I had two shifts to work today so I needed some food. I would stop by the coffee house and get some caffeine and a muffin. The short black linen skirt and white cotton button down top we had to wear as a uniform when we served in the dining room at the club was our responsibility to keep washed and pressed. I’d spent a few hours yesterday ironing the few I had here at home.

  Once I had on my tennis shoes, I headed down the stairs. I hadn’t heard any activity upstairs yet today so I knew Rush wasn’t awake. For once, I was grateful to not have to face him. Now that I’d had time to sleep on last night’s events I was embarrassed.

  Not only had I let Rush touch me in places I’d never had anyone touch me before but then I’d turned around and acted like a crazy nosy bitch. I needed to apologize to him but I wasn’t ready to do that just yet.

  I quietly closed the front door behind me and headed out to my truck. At least I wouldn’t be home until after dark tonight. No having to face Rush for at least twelve more hours.

  Jimmy was already in the staff room with his apron on when I arrived. He flashed me a grin and then made a pouty face with his lips. “Uh, oh, looks like someone had a bad morning.”

  I couldn’t tell Jimmy my problems. He knew these people too. I had to keep this stuff to myself. “I didn’t sleep that well,” I replied.

  Jimmy made a tsking sound. “For shame. Sleep is such a beautiful thing.”

  I nodded in agreement and clocked in. “Am I on my own today?” I asked.

  “Of course. You had this figured out after following me around for two hours. You should breeze through this day.”

  I was glad someone thought so. I grabbed an order tablet and a pen and stuck them in the pocket of my black apron.

  “Breakfast time,” Jimmy said with a wink and pushed open the door that led into the dining room. “Oooh looks like the boss and friends are at table eight. As much as I’d love to go ogle their fine asses, they would prefer you. I’ll go take the early morning tennis mommas over on table ten. They tip well.”

  Waiting on Woods and his friends was not something that I wanted to do this morning. But I couldn’t argue with Jimmy. He was right. He’d get better tips from the women. They loved him.

  I headed over to their table. Woods eyes lifted to meet mine and he smiled. “You look much better in here,” he said when I stopped in front of them.

  “Thank you. It’s much cooler,” I replied.

  “Blaire has moved on up. I may have to eat more meals here,” the blond curly headed guy said. I still didn’t know his name.

  “This could be very good for business,” Woods agreed.

  “How was your night out with Bethy?” Jace asked with a slight edge to his voice. He was holding the Bethy thing against me apparently. I didn’t care. He was pond scum as far as I was concerned.

  “We had a good time. What can I get y’all to drink?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “Coffee, please,” the blond chimed in.

  “Okay, I get it. Off-limits. Girl code and all that shit. I want some OJ,” Jace replied.

  “Coffee for me too,” Woods replied.

  “I’ll be right back with your drinks,” I replied and spun around to see two more tables with guests. Jimmy was helping one of the tables so I headed for the other. It took me a second to realize just who was at that table. My feet stopped moving as I watched Nan flick her long strawberry blond hair over her shoulder and then level a scowl at me. I glanced back over to Jimmy who was finishing up drink orders at his second table. I had to do this. I was being silly. She was Rush’s sister.

  I forced my feet to move and walked over to her table. She was sitting with another girl. One I hadn’t seen before. She was equally as glamorous as Nan.

  “Webster must be letting anyone work here these days. I need to tell Woods to speak with his daddy about being more selective with their employees,” Nan drawled slowly in a rather loud voice.

  My face felt warm and I knew I was red faced. Right now I just needed to prove that I could get through this. Nan hated me for unknown reasons. Unless of course, Rush had told her I was snooping into her business. It didn’t sound like something Rush would do but did I know him that well. No.

  “Good morning, what can I get y’all to drink?” I said as politely as possible.

  The other girl snickered and ducked her head. Nan glared up at me as if I were something repugnant. “You can get us nothing. I expect a classier server when I come to eat here. You won’t do.”

  I looked for Jimmy once again but he was gone. Nan might be Rush’s little sister but she was a major bitch. If I didn’t need this job so badly I’d tell her to kiss my ass and I’d walk out.

  “Is there a problem here?” Woods’ voice came from behind me. For once in my life, I was relieved by his presence.

  “Yes, there is. You hired white trash. Get rid of her. I pay too much to be a member here to tolerate this kind of service.”

  Was it because I was living at her brother’s house? Did she hate my dad too? I didn’t want her to hate me. If she hated me Rush would never open up to me. That door was firmly shut.

  “Nannette, you’ve never once paid to be a member here. You’re here because your brother allows it. Blaire is one of the best employees we’ve ever had and not one other paying member has complained. Certainly not your brother. So, pull in the claws, sweetheart and get over yourself,” Woods snapped his fingers and Jimmy came hurrying over toward us. He must have come back out during the drama and I’d missed him. “Jim, would you please serve Nan and Lola? Nan seems to have an issue with Blaire and I don’t want Blaire being forced to wait on her.”

  Jimmy nodded. Woods took my elbow and led me back towards the kitchen. I knew we were drawing attention but I didn’t care at the moment. I was just extremely grateful to be getting away from the curious onlookers and getting a breather.

  Once the kitchen door closed behind me I let out the breath I’d been holding.

  “I’m only going to say this once, Blaire. You stood me up the other night at Rush’s. I didn’t have to ask you why. I knew why when Rush was nowhere to be found. You had made your choice and I was backing off. But what happened in there is only a small taste. The bitch has serious venom in her veins. She is bitter and angry and when the time comes to choose, Rush will choose her.”

  I turned and stared at Woods unsure what he meant. Woods gave me a sad smile then let go of my elbow and walked back into the dining room. Woods knew the secret too. He had to. This was going to drive me crazy. What was the big deal?

  Chapter Seventeen

  I jerked open my truck door glad to be done with the day. My eyes went to a small black box lying on my seat with a note attached. I reached over and picked it up.

  Blaire,

  It’s a phone. You need one. I spoke with your dad and he said to get it for you. It’s from him. Talk and text are unlimited so use it as you wish.

  Rush

  My dad had told Rush to get me a phone? Really? I opened the box and a white iPhone complete with
a durable case was tucked safely inside. I pulled it out and studied it a moment. I pressed the small round button on the bottom and the screen lit up. My dad hadn’t given me a gift since the birthday before he’d left. Before Valerie had died. He’d given us matching electric scooters and helmets.

  I climbed into the truck and held my phone in my hand. Could I call my dad on this? It would be nice if he explained to me why he wasn’t here. Why he’d sent me to a place where I was unwanted? Had he met Nan? Surely, he would have known that she wouldn’t accept me. Besides, if she was Rush’s sister then she was my stepsister. Was that why she was so mad? I had grown up with less money than her? God, she was cruel.

  I tapped on contacts and saw that I only had three numbers saved in my phone. The first one was Bethy, then Darla, and then Rush. He’d put his number in here. That surprised me.

  The phone started playing a Slacker Demon song I’d heard on the radio before and Rush’s name flashed on the screen. He was calling me.

  “Hello,” I said, still not sure what to think of this.

  “I see you got the phone. Do you like it?” Rush asked.

  “Yes, it’s really nice. But why did Dad want me to have it?” He hadn’t cared much about anything else I’d needed over the years. This seemed trivial.

  “Safety measure. All females need a phone. Especially ones that drive vehicles older than they are. You could break down at any moment.”

  “I have a gun,” I reminded him.

  He chuckled. “Yeah, you do, badass. But a gun can’t tow your truck.”

  Point made.

  “Are you coming home?” he asked. The way he said “home” like his house was my home too made me feel warm inside. Even if he hadn’t meant it that way.

  “Yes, if that’s okay. I can go do something else if you need me to stay away.”

  “No. I want you here. I cooked.”