Larger Font   Reset Font Size   Smaller Font  

As She Fades, Page 3

Abbi Glines


  “Yes, he did. We weren’t supposed to see that, though, and it’s rude to talk about it. So let’s talk about something else,” I finally said.

  Maddy’s shoulders dropped with disappointment.

  “Can Aunt Vale come home with us?” Malyn asked, quickly moving along to a subject more interesting to her.

  “Aunt Vale wants to stay with Crawford. Remember? She’ll be at Nonna and Poppa’s tonight for dessert. We will see her then,” Dylan told his daughters.

  I bent down to their eye level. “And you both can tell me about how big you both were and used the potty all day. No accidents.”

  “Can I stay the night with you if I do?” Maddy asked.

  I was always exhausted in the evenings and Maddy kicked terribly all night. But I wasn’t going to tell her no. “Yes, if your momma is okay with it.”

  “Oh, she will be,” Dylan said with a pleased tone. He didn’t get his wife alone much anymore.

  “YAY!” they both cheered, and clapped their hands. I hugged them both and kissed their heads before standing up.

  “I’ll get these two home for their naps and we’ll see you tonight,” Dylan said. Then he looked at Slate. “Nice to meet you. Hope your uncle gets better.”

  Slate nodded, and I hugged my brother good-bye before the three of them left, him holding one little hand in each of his.

  “Sorry about the kissing thing,” Slate said, sounding sincere. “Didn’t think about kids seeing it.”

  I bet he didn’t think about much more than the bottom he was groping. I smiled, though, and shrugged. “Isn’t like they haven’t seen it before. Just never with a nurse. I hope she fixed you up,” I teased, thinking about the boo-boo comment from Maddy.

  He smirked. “Funny.”

  “That was the girls’ main concern.”

  He laughed this time. “She came on to me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, it looked like you were fighting her off.”

  “Never claimed to fight it off. Just that she started it.”

  I walked over to my seat and picked up my book. “Not my business, Slate Allen,” I said, smiling to myself that I knew his last name.

  “Sounds like someone is doing some research,” he said, sounding pleased.

  I laughed. “Not hardly. The nurse who attacked you came looking for you this morning and asked if Slate Allen had been in here. I found out completely by accident.” I opened the book and then glanced up at him. “Looks like I gave good directions. You’re welcome.”

  He studied me as if he was seeing me for the first time. It was a bit unsettling, so I turned back to my book.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Vale McKinley,” he said, and I nodded but didn’t look up.

  With a soft chuckle he was gone.

  One more hour before I could see Crawford.

  CHAPTER SIX

  MADDY WAS FINALLY asleep. Malyn had fallen asleep easily, but Maddy had been too excited. I covered her up and then eased myself out of the bed. I wanted some milk and another bite of the caramel pie Mom had in the fridge. Maddy had eaten most of my piece earlier.

  I heard Knox and Mom talking in the kitchen, and I almost turned around and went right back into my room. Those two would want to talk about Crawford and my schedule. They loved me. I got it. But they needed to get that I was an adult. I was eighteen years old. I didn’t need advice.

  Taking a deep breath and preparing myself for a potential argument, I went down the eight stairs that it took to get to the first floor. Turning right, I walked straight into the kitchen. Knox was at the table with the entire pie plate and a fork. Not surprising.

  “Save me some, pig,” I said, going over to the drawer to get myself a fork.

  “The rest is all yours,” he said, sliding the plate over.

  “You want milk, baby?” Momma asked.

  “I can get it,” I told her. She waited on my brothers, but I didn’t like it. We should be waiting on Momma the way she did for us.

  “Sit. I barely see you. Let me at least fix your milk.”

  I forced a smile and sat down with my pie. It was more than I’d eat, but I didn’t tell Knox that. He’d eat the whole thing if I offered him more.

  “Dylan said Slate stopped by again today,” Knox said.

  I nodded. “Yep.” I decided telling him about the coffee was a bad idea.

  “Be careful. You’re a challenge to him. He’s used to girls chasing him. He hasn’t met a Vale yet.”

  I crammed a bite of pie in my mouth and glared at him. Was he seriously worried I was going to hook up with Slate Allen when all I did was sit outside my comatose boyfriend’s hospital room waiting on him to open his eyes?

  “I think it’s good she has someone up there to talk to. I worry about her getting lonely,” Momma said as she sat the milk down in front of me.

  “Mom, he’s a player. Sleeps with more women than Charlie Sheen.”

  Momma made a tsking sound. “Nonsense. No one has slept with more people than Charlie Sheen.”

  I laughed and Knox sighed. He wasn’t amused. I thought Mom had made a funny.

  “I’m serious. Not your kind of guy,” he said, looking at me with a hard glare.

  I was over this conversation. “Knox, I sit at a hospital all day every day waiting on the only guy I’ve ever loved and will ever love to open his eyes. That is my world. Do you honestly think I’m even entertaining the idea of Slate? What makes you think I would even notice him?”

  “All females notice him.”

  I took another bite. I wasn’t some sorority girl who wanted to be added to Slate Allen’s bedpost notches. No thank you.

  “I think you need to trust your sister,” Momma said.

  Knox grunted. “Just because you want her to have a life outside that hospital doesn’t mean Slate Allen needs to be part of it.”

  I sat my fork down and stood back up. “I think I’ve had enough. I’m going to bed. Then in the morning I will go back to Crawford. I will always go back to Crawford.”

  “Finish your milk, honey,” Momma said, sounding almost like she was pleading.

  I didn’t want to upset her, so I reached for my glass and started drinking.

  “Wasn’t trying to upset you.” Knox sounded a bit guilty. “I’ll come read to Crawford tomorrow. More college football stuff he needs to hear.”

  I finished my milk, then took the glass to the sink to wash it.

  “I’m fine. And thank you. Crawford needs to hear us. This talk about Slate Allen is pointless, though.”

  Momma patted my back and kissed the top of my head. “I want you happy.”

  I couldn’t be happy without Crawford. But I didn’t tell her that. I just nodded.

  “I know, Momma.” I hugged her. “Good night and thanks for the pie.”

  “See you at lunch,” Knox called out, and I waved without turning around, then headed back to my room. The security of silence. Where no one told me what they thought I should do.

  Quietly I slipped back into my room to see my nieces sprawled out on my full-size bed. There wasn’t any room left for me now. Smiling, I took the extra pillow and a blanket from the closet and curled up on the bean bag I still had on the floor from my childhood. The girls loved to play on it so I’d kept it.

  Although I hadn’t slept on it in years, I remembered nights I would fall asleep reading in it or talking on the phone to Crawford. That seemed like another lifetime ago. What I would give now to be able to just pick up the phone and call him. To hear his voice before I went to bed. To hear his laughter and know that tomorrow he would be there with me.

  He had to wake up. I couldn’t face this life without him. He was my safe place, my best friend. Tears stung my eyes and I let them fall. Feeling them run down my cheeks, the pain in my chest didn’t ease, but it felt less lonely to cry.

  Everything was different now. I was lost. Alone. I didn’t know how to find myself. I needed Crawford. Knox worrying about me liking the wrong guy was ridiculous. I l
oved Crawford and I had my entire life. A pretty smile and incredible eyes weren’t going to change that. I wasn’t shallow.

  Closing my eyes, I let myself remember life with Crawford.

  Walking through the field, I saw the swing hanging from our favorite tree before we got to it. The thick ropes held a large flat piece of wood. I turned back to Crawford. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing at the swing.

  He grinned. “It looks to me like it’s a swing, V.”

  “I know that … but where did it come from?”

  He walked up and slipped his hand over mine. We were doing that a lot lately. Holding hands. “You said last week the only thing that could make this place better was a swing. So there’s your swing.”

  My eyes grew wide as his words sank in. “You did that?”

  “Well, my dad helped a little,” he admitted.

  That didn’t matter. It had been his idea. He had built me a swing. “Can I try it?” I was unable to contain my excitement.

  “You better. Or my feelings will be hurt.”

  I threw both arms around his neck while standing on my tiptoes to reach him. He grew an inch every day, it seemed. Soon I would need a ladder to reach him.

  “Thank you,” I said as his arms wrapped around me.

  “Anything for you, V. Anything.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  AS I WALKED down the hall toward the waiting room, my steps slowed when I saw Slate sitting there. He had a coffee in each hand. The same delicious coffee from yesterday. He was leaning back in a chair with his feet propped up on the seat across from him.

  Why was he here this early? I’d been here an hour already when he’d arrived yesterday, and he had called that early. He turned his head in my direction as I got closer. Then a slow smile slid across his face that I would admit was movie star–worthy. He should look into that. Or modeling, maybe.

  “Good morning,” he said as if he’d been up for hours or had several cups of coffee. I’d had none and slept on a bean bag, then was awakened by Maddy before the sun was fully up.

  “Why are you here?” I asked, not even attempting to sound polite. I was too tired for polite.

  He held up the coffee. “Well, I thought that was obvious. Bringing a friend a cup of joe and seeing just how early she gets here every day.” He glanced back at the clock on the wall. “Seven sharp. Impressive.”

  I was a challenge to him. That’s what Knox had said. Maybe he was right.

  The thing was, I didn’t want to be a challenge. I had Crawford to worry about.

  “Thanks for the coffee,” I said, and took the one he was offering me. “Are you going to see your uncle now?”

  He laughed. “No way. He’d kill me if I woke him up this early. He already bitches out the nurses for waking him up at eight to eat. Not a friendly guy.”

  And Slate made those nurses feel lots better, I was sure.

  I put my bag down, then took a seat two over from him. There was no reason to sit too close. I wasn’t into this challenge thing. Telling him so seemed like the best course of action.

  “Knox mentioned that you like chasing girls and that I’m a challenge. Let’s just be clear—I’m not. I love Crawford. I’ll always love Crawford. No contest here. But I appreciate the coffee.”

  That didn’t sound as sophisticated as I had hoped, but there it was.

  When he didn’t say anything right away, I glanced over at him, and he was taking a drink of his coffee while studying the wall like there was a piece of art on it rather than a clock.

  “Do you know what I used to do at five every morning?” he asked.

  Weird question and completely not on topic, but I went with it.

  “What?”

  He turned his head to me. “I used to get up and feed the chickens and collect their eggs, clean the horses’ stalls—we had three—and then fill the water trough for the horses before feeding the dogs and going inside to get breakfast started. Uncle D drank too heavily every evening to get up and do much. So before school I handled that shit.”

  None of it even sounded believable and I didn’t know why he was telling me this.

  He stood up then and gave me a sincere smile. “Have a good day, Vale. I hope your boy opens his eyes.”

  Then he walked away.

  * * *

  I SAT FOR the next hour wondering what that conversation had meant and why Slate had told me such a strange story. He never reacted to what I said, and I started wondering if I’d imagined speaking to him. Once my coffee was gone and my legs were stiff from sitting, I got up and decided to walk around the hospital some. It always scared me to get too far away from Crawford, but I needed to stretch my legs. My sleeping arrangements last night had made me sore.

  I took the elevator to the children’s floor to see if they might need someone to read to the kids in the children’s activity room. I needed something to do while I waited. I could at least be helpful.

  A deep voice I recognized stopped me as I opened the door. I looked in the window behind the Dr. Seuss poster that covered most of the glass and saw Slate sitting in a large red chair with a book in his hands. Three little girls and two boys sat on the floor in front of him. Four of the five kids were bald. One little girl held a teddy bear tightly to her chest as she looked up at Slate with wide eyes.

  He was reading. To the kids. And he was doing a good job because he had their complete attention. I stood there and watched, letting the door close quietly. I didn’t want him to see me, but I had to be sure that what I was seeing was for real. I didn’t imagine Slate as a guy who would spend his morning reading to sick kids. But there he was, smiling and making different voices that made the kids laugh.

  After a few moments, I stepped out and made my way back down to Crawford’s floor. The image of Slate reading aloud wasn’t going to leave me. He might be a player, but he was a nice guy. He had a heart. He was visiting me because I was alone, waiting for my boyfriend to wake up. Not once had he actually hit on me. I’d just assumed.

  Over the next three days my coffee was waiting on me when I arrived, but there was no Slate. Not a sign of him. All day.

  Finally the coffee and absent Slate got to me. When I went in to see Crawford at four, I sat my bag down and looked at him. “I’ve met this guy and he’s messed with my head. I think I hurt his feelings and his uncle is very sick and he reads to the kids on the children’s floor and I should have been more thoughtful. He didn’t do anything but bring me coffee. He still brings me coffee. But he’s never there. Doesn’t stop by. I don’t even see him in the halls making out with nurses. Yes, he makes out with the nurses in the halls. He is a player. According to Knox he’s the worst kind of player. They’re frat brothers. You know how frat boys are.” Sighing, I sat down on the chair beside him and stared at the familiar face I missed so much. He was here, but he wasn’t.

  “I just need you to wake up. I’m losing it without you, Crawford.”

  There was no movement. No new brain activity. Nothing.

  “Maybe he would have been a good friend. I need one of those. All of ours don’t come around much. Seeing you upsets them and reminds them that life can change on a dime. I’m disappointed in them, but it’s true. Braxton left for UA this week. He stopped in last week to say good-bye. But he felt awkward. They all do. I can see it.”

  Braxton had been Crawford’s best guy friend most of our lives. Of all people, I was most surprised by Braxton’s absence. In the beginning, everyone was here. Stopping by and bringing flowers, candy, balloons, and the like. Then after two weeks it slowed. Three weeks, not a soul. A month and they had all moved on to their summer thing. Vacations, packing for college, and moving.

  It had gotten lonely. Slate was helping somewhat. He was a distraction. But I’d let Knox get to me and I’d been mean and run him off. Yet he still was kind enough to bring me coffee.

  I should go check on his uncle. That was the nice thing to do. Show I care. I wondered if anyone other than Slate came to visi
t his uncle. Was he alone, too? Was that why he kept stopping by to visit me? He needed company that didn’t want to crawl in his lap and lick his face? Possibly.

  Stupid Knox. I shouldn’t have listened to him.

  “I think I’ll go visit his uncle tomorrow. He has cancer and he’s old. I bet he needs company. Besides, it’s lonely in that waiting room.”

  Crawford didn’t say anything. But then, he still hadn’t opened his eyes.

  “Ready for me to read chapter fifteen? I fell asleep before we got to it last night. Your mom had to wake me up. I’ll try to stay awake longer tonight. But, of course, if you’d wake up I would stay awake forever. It’s the silence that makes me sleepy. And possibly these machines.”

  I reached into my bag and pulled out a book and my bottle of water. After taking a long drink, I got comfortable and opened the book to chapter fifteen. It was time the search party got serious. “Hope this ends good. I should have Googled it before I started reading it,” I told him.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  KNOX WAS SITTING in the kitchen with a glass of milk and some brownies when I walked in the house. He always seemed to be eating lately. It was a miracle he stayed so slim.

  “Where’s everyone?” I asked, setting my bag on the bar and going to the fridge for leftovers. I was starving. It had been a while since lunch.

  “Mom is at Dylan’s watching the girls while they go on a date. Dad’s over at Rob’s watching baseball. I’m staying here to check on the baby”—he pointed his fork at me as if I didn’t know what baby he was talking about—“to ease everyone’s mind. It’s Friday night. You’re young and should be out enjoying life.”

  “Not in the mood for this,” I told him as I spooned some mac and cheese onto a paper plate.

  “You seen any more of Slate?”

  That annoyed me. I set the spoon down. “No, as a matter of fact. Not in three days. Not since I told him I wasn’t a challenge and not to chase me.”

  Knox’s eyes went wide, then he started laughing. I was very close to tossing the spoon at his head. Or better yet, the whole bowl of mac and cheese. But Mom would kill me. She didn’t like to waste food. Although if I did toss it, I could let Bruno inside so he could lick it clean. He’d love that. Feeding our chocolate lab wouldn’t be considered wasting food. Technically.