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    The Facts of Life

    Page 9
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    Your presence is welcome

      With me and my friend here

      This is a hangout of mine

      We come here quite often and listen to music

      Partaking of yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      Aging with time

      Like yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      We're aging with time

      Like yesterday's wine

      You give the appearance of one widely traveled

      I'll bet you've seen things in your time

      So sit down beside me and tell me your story

      If you think you'll like yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      Aging with time

      Like yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      Yesterday's wine

      We're aging with time

      Like yesterday's wine

      Monday, April 16, 7 P.M.

      JUST FINISHED MY SECOND RUN for today. I'm trying to get ready for a run in Austin on October 21, a benefit for Farm Aid. The run is sponsored by the city of Austin, Runner's World, New Balance, RunTex, and hopefully twenty thousand runners.

      A press conference was held in Boston at the Hard Rock Cafe to promote the run in Austin. Everyone was already in town for the Boston Marathon, which was today. The winning time for the men was two hours and nine minutes, and the winning time for the women was two hours and fourteen minutes. A lot of people from Farm Aid, New Balance, and Runner's World were there. It turned out to be a very positive press conference. We all agreed to make the run in Austin a huge success for Farm Aid, and I'm sure it will be.

      David was reminding me of our first Farm Aid concert. Thanks to our old friend Buddy Lee, we were able to pull it off. With only twentyone days to go, Buddy gave us a hundred thousand dollars to promote it. We made more money on that first concert than we have since. Buddy, you were a great friend and a credit to your profession, or all your many professions.

      Buddy was a professional wrestler turned talent promoter, and opened a booking agency in Nashville, the Buddy Lee Talent Agency, of which I was proud to be with. We had many happy years and times together. Thank you, Buddy Lee, wherever you are.

      Also we can't forget our friend Paul Corbin and The Nashville Network for coming to the rescue. They offered to broadcast three hours of the first Farm Aid. I said at a press conference they would broadcast all twelve hours, and they did. I think they were glad they did—I know I was. I hear that Paul's at BMI now, replacing Roger Sovine. I know he'll do a good job there. Thanks, Paul.

      TODAY IS TAX DAY, and it's all over the TV. I think you should be able to write a letter to your tax man explaining to him how your tax bill is way too high and there must be some way to work it out. The letters would then be rated on originality and sincerity. The winner would never have to pay their taxes again. Kinda like a contest. The first million winners would live tax-free forever. The rest of the letter writers would be awarded a deferment on their taxes. What do you think?

      THERE'S A GUY on TV lifting eleven pounds of iron with his eyelids. That reminds me of the guy who went to a house of ill repute. When the madam opened the door, the man said, “I would like to experience something different. Do you have anything on your menu that would be different than anything I've ever experienced? I'll be happy to pay you well.”

      The madam said, “Sir, you're in luck! I know just the girl for you. Her name is Alice, in room 601.”

      The guy goes to room 601 and opens the door. Alice comes to the door. The guy explains how he wants something different, and Alice says, “Have you ever been winked off ?”

      “No, I don't think I have. What is that?”

      “I'll show you.” Alice reached up and pulled out her glass eye. She said, “Just put it in.”

      He did, and they did, and when it was all over he said, “My God. That was the best sex I've ever had. When I'm back in town, I want to come back here to see you.”

      She said, “Great! I'll keep an eye out for you.”

      L.G. AND DAVID have gone to Denny's, and Gator is probably sleeping. This is a day off and I'm alone on the bus. Lana went home for some physical therapy on her neck. I know she'll be fine in a little while. So, sister Bobbie fed me breakfast this morning—bacon, ham and eggs. A fan gave me the ham last night at the show. I've been eating on it all day.

      When I recorded the Red Headed Stranger album, I had in mind doing a Red Headed Stranger movie to go along with it. I had a big dream of an album and movie out at the same time, each promoting the other. It didn't work out that way. It was ten years after the album came out before I could make the movie. My idea of having them come out together was down the drain already by then. However, I still thought the movie was a good idea.

      I went to my friend Bill Wittliff who had written the movie Barbarosa, and asked him to write the RHS script, and he did. He wrote a great script but we still needed the money. I asked my friend Don Tyson for some seed money. He came through, along with a few other close friends. A banker in Austin agreed to handle the RHS movie account. An Austin investment company had agreed to come up with the rest of the movie money, and we were in business.

      The Red Headed Stranger

      There were disagreements between me and the investment company, so they dropped out, leaving us in the middle of the first week of shooting. You have a hundred-thousand-dollar-a-week payroll to meet, and your backer backs out. Well, I started writing hot checks. The banker, for whatever reason, never bounced a single check. I guess he liked me and believed I would eventually pay up.

      I had done an interview with Cheryl McCall and People magazine. She was now covering the making of RHS for Life magazine. She knew all about the money guys falling out and the banker staying with me. She went back to the East Coast and was telling our story to Carolyn Mugar, who we later nicknamed the “Mysterious Woman from Boston.” Carolyn turned out to be a huge fan of mine and asked Cheryl how much did I need to make the movie? To make a long story short, she brought down a check large enough to cover my hot checks and enough to finish the whole movie. Needless to say, she is still one of my closest friends, and now runs our Farm Aid offices in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Thank you, God, for Carolyn Mugar.

      Time of the Preacher

      It was the time of the preacher

      When the story began

      The choice of a lady

      And a love of a man

      And how he loved her so dearly

      He went out of his mind

      When she left him for someone

      She'd left behind

      He cried like a baby

      He screamed like a panther

      In the middle of the night

      And he saddled his pony

      And went for a ride

      It was the time of the preacher

      In the year of '01

      Now the preaching is over

      And the lesson's begun

      Blue Rock Montana

      Well, he rode into Blue Rock

      Dusty and tired

      And he got him a room for the night

      And he lay there in silence

      With too much on his mind

      Still hoping that he was not right

      But he found them that evening

      At a tavern in town

      In a quiet little out-of-the-way place

      And they smiled at each other

      When he walked through the door

      And they died with their smiles on their faces

      They died with a smile on their face

      The Red Headed Stranger

      The red headed stranger from Blue Rock Montana

      Rode into town one day

      And under his knees was a raging black stallion

      And walking behind was a bay

      The red headed stranger had eyes like the thunder

      His lips they were sad and tight

      For his little lo
    st love lay asleep on the hillside

      And his heart was heavy as night

      Don't cross him

      Don't boss him

      He's wild in his sorrow

      He's riding and hiding his pain

      Don't fight him, don't spite him, just wait

      till tomorrow

      And maybe he'll ride on again

      A yellow haired woman leaned out of her window

      Watched as he passed her way

      She drew back in fear at the sight of the stallion

      But cast greedy eyes on the bay

      He bought her a drink and he gave her some

      money

      He just didn't seem to care

      She followed him out as he saddled his stallion

      Laughed as she grabbed at the bay

      He shot her so quick they had no time to warn her

      She never heard anyone say

      Don't cross him

      Don't boss him

      He's wild in his sorrow

      He's riding and hiding his pain

      Don't fight him, don't spite him, just wait

      till tomorrow

      And maybe he'll ride on again

      The yellow haired woman was buried at sunset

      The stranger went free of course

      You can't hang a man for killing a woman

      That's trying to steal your horse

      Now this is the tale of the red headed stranger

      And if he should pass your way

      Stay out of the path of the raging black stallion

      And don't lay a hand on the bay

      Don't cross him

      Don't boss him

      He's wild in his sorrow

      He's riding and hiding his pain

      Don't fight him, don't spite him, just wait

      till tomorrow

      And maybe he'll ride on again

      Denver

      The bright lights of Denver

      Are shining like diamonds

      Like ten thousand jewels in the sky

      And it's nobody's business where you're going

      Or where you come from

      And you're judged by the look in your eye

      She saw him that evening

      In a tavern in the town

      In a quiet little out-of-the-way place

      And they smiled at each other

      As he walked through the doors

      And they danced with their smiles on their faces

      And they danced with a smile on their faces

      I Guess I've Come to Live Here in Your Eyes

      I guess I've come to live here in your eyes

      This must be the place called paradise

      You are so precious to me

      And what a special time within our lives

      So I guess I've come to live here in your eyes

      A thousand times I see you

      And a thousand times you take my breath away

      On the bus, early morning

      And fears and doubts consume me

      I'm afraid someone will take it all away

      I hope I'm here forever

      But I think it's time that we both realized

      That I guess I've come to live here in your eyes

      I am still on the bus between a Holiday Inn and a cornfield. We're just outside Somewhere, Pennsylvania, watching the Mississippi flooding on CNN. It makes these Pennsylvania cornfields look very nice.

      Did you hear about the drunk who leaned a little too close to a two-story apartment building window and fell out? He was laying on the sidewalk when someone ran up and asked what happened. The drunk looked up and said, “Hell I don't know. I just got here.”

      THE NEW RAINBOW CONNECTION CDs just arrived so I can give some out to the press. Island Records once again came through like a champ. The David Zettner art work is exceptional, and I'm happy to see a photo of me and Dean Bird, my great-grandson. He's the son of my beautiful granddaughter Martha and Matt Hubbard, who's a musician and engineer, and the coproducer of Rainbow Connection. Matt Hubbard, remember that name. I believe you'll be hearing a lot more from him in the future.

      6:10 P.M., Easter, Pennsylvania

      THE STATE THEATER IS ON MY RIGHT and Church Street on my left. Did I tell you the publishers liked the book? Some of the best jokes I hear I get from the kids, my kids of course. Since Paula is a blonde, I get all the blonde jokes.

      I like the one about the blonde twins. One was on one side of the room, and one was on the other. One blonde said, “Come over here” to her twin, who replied, “Hell, I am already over there!”

      7:00 P.M.

      LOU DOUGHERTY CAME BY THE BUS just a few moments ago. Lou is one of the oldest fans I have, and she's not really that old, we're about the same age. There is not a better fan in the world and I'm always glad to see her. She has probably seen over a hundred of our shows. If we're anywhere in Pennsylvania, she will be there. I forgot to ask her why she wasn't in Hershey the other night. She wasn't in Williamsport either. She has a lot of explaining to do.

      It's a cold and rainy night. Some places in Pennsylvania are expecting snow. It was 85 degrees and sunny in Austin. It's OK though; I could be by the Mississippi River which is on the way to its highest crest ever. One guy on TV was pouring water out of his house. He said, “Well, when you live by a river, things will happen.”

      I admire his courage and tenacity. But I'd still rather be on Church Street parked behind the State Theater, safe and dry on our Honeysuckle Rose #3. Honeysuckle #1 we wore out. Honeysuckle #2 we wrecked in Nova Scotia. We have over a half a million miles on #3.

      THERE WAS JUST SOME LADY on CNN holding a sign that was very negative about drinking milk. I have heard all this bullshit about how bad dairy products are. I would like to say on behalf of dairy products that I have eaten eggs, bacon, and butter, and I drank plenty of milk my whole life. I am sixty-eight years old and in damn good shape. I do exercise quite a bit, and now I have started drinking skim milk. I have been on a no-sugar diet now for a few days. No fries, no bread, nothing with sugar. Nothing that will turn to sugar once eaten. Eggs, eggs, and more eggs. Now I would like to ask the lady holding the “no milk” sign just what is your problem? Why do you care whether or not I drink milk? As long as I drink milk responsibly, why is it any of your business? Get a life, lady. Eat more ice cream and lighten up, you'll live a longer life, or at least you won't be pissing people off by trying to run theirs.

      I grew up in Abbott on the edge of town. We had a milk cow, chickens, and a garden. I raised a fat calf and a fat hog every year. I was a Future Farmer of America and proud to be one. The fresh organic vegetables from our garden and the livestock could not have been healthier. Now, I admit, nowadays when you buy eggs, meat, and milk, it's not the same. There's additives to give the milk a longer shelf life, and growth hormones given to the chickens and the cattle. Nothing tastes the same these days. Eggs coming from hens walking around on just a little bit of concrete eating questionable foods as opposed to eggs coming from chickens allowed to roam around scratching for worms, there is no comparing the taste.

      Will You Remember Mine?

      Sweet is the song when the song is love

      Love that has stood the test of time

      And when you've heard all the songs of love

      Will you remember mine?

      Gone are the times when I held you close

      And pressed your lips to mine

      Now when you kiss another's lips

      Will you remember mine?

      I have sat beneath the trees

      While the cool summer breeze

      Blew away the sands of time

      And thought of days when you were near

      Remembering when you were mine

      Gone are the times when I walked with you

      And held your hand in mine

      Now when you hold another's hand

      Will you remember mine?

      Wednesday, April 19, Lowell, Massachusetts, 3:20 P.M.

      I WOKE UP THIS MORNING and looked out the bus win
    dow and saw snow, so I decided to go for a run. I started running and realized I was running around a golf course. Just my luck. The motel is next to a nine-hole golf course and it's snowing. I don't believe it.

      This looks like a December day

      This looks like a time-to-remember day

      And I remember a spring

      Such a sweet tender thing

      Where love's summer college,

      And the green leaves of knowledge

      Were waiting to fall with the Fall

      And where September wine

      Numbed a measure of time

      Through the tears of October

      Now November's over

      And this looks like a December day

      This looks like a December day

      It looks like we've come to the end of the way

      And as my memories race back to

      Love's eager beginning

      Reluctant to play with the thoughts of the ending

      The ending that won't go away

      And as my memories race back to

      Love's eager beginning

      Reluctant to play with the thoughts of the ending

      The ending that won't go away

      And this looks like a December day

      11:55 P.M., same day

      THIS LADY WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR without any clothes on doing her Jane Fonda workout. Her husband came in just as she was on her back with her legs up in the air. He said, “Honey, get up and put in your teeth and comb your hair. You're looking more and more like your mother every day!”

      12:35 A.M., next day, same night

      WE'RE ON THE WAY TO Trenton, New Jersey, and the War Memorial Auditorium, coming from the Lowell, Massachusetts Memorial Auditorium tonight, our last night. I know, I'm confused myself.

      I used to play the White Horse bowling alley in Trenton several years ago. I'll bet it's not even there now. After Trenton we'll head to New York City and the Beacon Theater. I'm doing an interview with Dan Rather. That should be fun. He's an old Texas buddy. The other night he was the speaker and a presenter for the first Texas Artist Achievement Award, which I proudly received. He's a good man and I'm proud to know him.

     


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