Reads
SIR TOBY Give me. 'Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou
art but a scurvy135 fellow.'
FABIAN Good, and valiant.
Reads
SIR TOBY 'Wonder not, nor admire137 not in thy mind,
why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.'
FABIAN A good note, that keeps you from the blow of the139
law.
Reads
SIR TOBY 'Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my
sight she uses thee kindly. But thou liest in thy throat142, that is
not the matter I challenge thee for.'
Aside
FABIAN Very brief, and to exceeding good sense-- less.
Reads
SIR TOBY 'I will waylay thee going home, where if it
be thy chance to kill me'--
FABIAN Good.
Reads
SIR TOBY 'Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.'
FABIAN Still you keep o'th'windy149 side of the law. Good.
Reads
SIR TOBY 'Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon
one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine, but my
hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest152
him, and thy sworn enemy,
Andrew Aguecheek.'
If this letter move155 him not, his legs cannot. I'll give't him.
MARIA You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in
some commerce157 with my lady, and will by and by depart.
SIR TOBY Go, Sir Andrew. Scout me158 for him at the corner of
the orchard like a bumbaily159: so soon as ever thou see'st him,
draw, and as thou draw'st swear horrible160, for it comes to pass
oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply
twanged off, gives manhood more approbation162 than ever
proof163 itself would have earned him. Away!
SIR ANDREW Nay, let me alone164 for swearing.
Exit
SIR TOBY Now will not I deliver his letter, for the behaviour of
the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity166
and breeding. His employment between his lord and my
niece confirms no less: therefore this letter, being so
excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth. He
will find it comes from a clodpole.170 But, sir, I will deliver his
challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable
report of valour, and drive the gentleman, as I know his
youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous173 opinion of his
rage, skill, fury and impetuosity. This will so fright them both
that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.175
Enter Olivia and Viola
FABIAN Here he comes with your niece. Give them way176 till
he take leave, and presently177 after him.
SIR TOBY I will meditate the while upon some horrid178 message
for a challenge.
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian and Maria]
OLIVIA I have said too much unto a heart of stone
And laid mine honour too unchary181 on't.
There's something in me that reproves my fault,
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,
That it but mocks reproof.
VIOLA With the same 'haviour that your passion bears185
Goes on my master's griefs.
OLIVIA Here, wear this jewel187 for me, 'tis my picture.
Refuse it not. It hath no tongue to vex you.
And I beseech you come again tomorrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
That honour saved191 may upon asking give?
VIOLA Nothing but this: your true love for my master.
OLIVIA How with mine honour may I give him that
Which I have given to you?
VIOLA I will acquit195 you.
OLIVIA Well, come again tomorrow. Fare thee well.
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.
[Exit]
Enter Toby and Fabian
SIR TOBY Gentleman, God save thee.
VIOLA And you, sir.
SIR TOBY That defence thou hast, betake200 thee to't. Of what
nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not, but
thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody202 as the hunter, attends
thee at the orchard-end. Dismount thy tuck, be yare203 in thy
preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful and deadly.
VIOLA You mistake, sir, I am sure. No man hath any
quarrel to me: my remembrance206 is very free and clear from
any image of offence done to any man.
SIR TOBY You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if
you hold your life at any price209, betake you to your guard, for
your opposite210 hath in him what youth, strength, skill and
wrath can furnish man withal.211
VIOLA I pray you, sir, what is he?
SIR TOBY He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and on213
carpet consideration, but he is a devil in private brawl. Souls
and bodies hath he divorced three, and his incensement215 at
this moment is so implacable that satisfaction216 can be none
but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word217:
give't or take't.
VIOLA I will return again into the house and desire some
conduct220 of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some
kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste221
their valour. Belike this is a man of that quirk.222
SIR TOBY Sir, no. His indignation derives itself out of a very
competent224 injury: therefore, get you on and give him his
desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake
that226 with me which with as much safety you might answer
him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked, for
meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron228
about you.
VIOLA This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you do me
this courteous office, as to know of231 the knight what my
offence to him is. It is something of my negligence, nothing
of my purpose.
SIR TOBY I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this
gentleman till my return.
Exit Toby
VIOLA Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
FABIAN I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a
mortal arbitrement238, but nothing of the circumstance more.
VIOLA I beseech you what manner of man is he?
FABIAN Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read240 him by
his form, as you are like241 to find him in the proof of his valour.
He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and fatal opposite
that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria. Will
you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him if I
can.
VIOLA I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one that
had rather go with sir priest than sir knight. I care not who
knows so much of my mettle.248
Exeunt
Enter Toby and Andrew
SIR TOBY Why, man, he's a very devil. I have not seen such a
firago. I had a pass250 with him, rapier, scabbard and all, and he
gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion251 that it is
inevitable. And on the answer, he pays you252 as surely as your
feet hits the ground they step on. They say he has been
fencer to the Sophy.254
SIR ANDREW Pox255 on't, I'll not meddle with him.
SIR TOBY Ay,
but he will not now be pacified. Fabian can
scarce hold257 him yonder.
SIR ANDREW Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant and
so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere259 I'd have
challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him
my horse, grey Capilet.
SIR TOBY I'll make the motion.262 Stand here, make a good show on't.--
Aside
This shall end without the perdition of souls.263
Marry, I'll ride264 your horse as well as I ride you.
Enter Fabian and Viola
Aside to Fabian
I have his horse to take up265 the quarrel. I have
persuaded him the youth's a devil.
FABIAN He is as horribly conceited267 of him, and pants and
looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.
To Viola
SIR TOBY There's no remedy, sir, he will fight with
you for's oath270 sake. Marry, he hath better bethought him of
his quarrel271, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking
of: therefore draw for the supportance of his vow. He protests272
he will not hurt you.
Aside
VIOLA Pray God defend me! A little thing would274
make me tell them how much I lack of a man.
To Viola
FABIAN Give ground if you see him furious.
SIR TOBY Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy. The gentleman
will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you. He cannot
by the duello279 avoid it. But he has promised me, as he is a
gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on, to't.
SIR ANDREW Pray God he keep his oath!
Enter Antonio
To Fabian/They draw their swords
VIOLA I do assure you, 'tis against my will.
ANTONIO Put up283 your sword. If this young gentleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me.
If you offend him, I for him defy you.
SIR TOBY You, sir? Why, what are you?
ANTONIO One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
They draw
SIR TOBY Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for289 you.
Enter Officers
FABIAN O, good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers.
To Antonio
SIR TOBY I'll be with you anon.291
To Sir Andrew
VIOLA Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.
SIR ANDREW Marry, will I, sir. And for that293 I promised you, I'll be
as good as my word. He will bear you easily and reins294 well.
Indicates Antonio
FIRST OFFICER This is the man; do thy office.
SECOND OFFICER Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit296 of Count
Orsino.
ANTONIO You do mistake me, sir.
FIRST OFFICER No, sir, no jot. I know your favour299 well,
Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.
Take him away: he knows I know him well.
To Viola
ANTONIO I must obey.-- This comes with seeking you.
But there's no remedy, I shall answer303 it.
What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed307;
But be of comfort.
SECOND OFFICER Come, sir, away.
To Viola
ANTONIO I must entreat of you some of that money.
VIOLA What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have showed me here,
And part313 being prompted by your present trouble,
Out of my lean and low ability
I'll lend you something. My having315 is not much.
I'll make division of my present316 with you.
Offers money
Hold, there's half my coffer.317
ANTONIO Will you deny318 me now?
Is't possible that my deserts319 to you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt320 my misery,
Lest that it make me so unsound321 a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you.
VIOLA I know of none,
Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness327, babbling, drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
Inhabits our frail blood.
ANTONIO O heavens themselves!
SECOND OFFICER Come, sir, I pray you go.
ANTONIO Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
I snatched one half out of the jaws of death,
Relieved him with such sanctity334 of love,
And to his image335, which methought did promise
Most venerable worth336, did I devotion.
FIRST OFFICER What's that to us? The time goes by. Away!
ANTONIO But O, how vile an idol proves this god.
Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature339 shame.
In nature there's no blemish but the mind.
None can be called deformed but the unkind.341
Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks o'erflourished343 by the devil.
FIRST OFFICER The man grows mad. Away with him! Come,
come, sir.
ANTONIO Lead me on.
Exit [with Officers]
Aside
VIOLA Methinks his words do from such passion fly,
That he believes himself, so do not I.
Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!
SIR TOBY Come hither, knight. Come hither, Fabian. We'll
They stand aside
whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage352
saws.353
VIOLA He named Sebastian. I my brother know
Yet living in my glass355, even such and so
In favour was my brother, and he went356
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament357,
For him I imitate. O, if it prove358,
Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.
[Exit]
SIR TOBY A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward360
here in necessity and denying him. And for his cowardship,
ask Fabian.
FABIAN A coward, a most devout coward, religious364 in it.
SIR ANDREW 'Slid365, I'll after him again and beat him.
SIR TOBY Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.
SIR ANDREW An I do not--
FABIAN Come, let's see the event.368
SIR TOBY I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.369
Exeunt
Act 4 Scene 1
running scene 14
Enter Sebastian and Clown [Feste]
FESTE Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
SEBASTIAN Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow.
Let me be clear of thee.
FESTE Well held out4, i'faith! No, I do not know you, nor I
am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with
her, nor your name is not Master Cesario, nor this is not my
nose neither. Nothing that is so is so.
SEBASTIAN I prithee vent8 thy folly somewhere else. Thou
know'st not me.
FESTE Vent my folly! He has heard that word of10 some great
man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid
this great lubber the world will prove a cockney.12 I prithee
now ungird thy strangeness13 and tell me what I shall vent to
&nb
sp; my lady. Shall I vent to her that thou art coming?
Gives money
SEBASTIAN I prithee, foolish Greek15, depart
from me. There's money for thee. If you tarry16 longer, I shall
give worse payment.17
FESTE By my troth, thou hast an open18 hand. These wise
men that give fools money get themselves a good report19--
after fourteen years' purchase.20
Enter Andrew, Toby and Fabian
SIR ANDREW Now, sir, have I met you again?
Strikes Sebastian
There's for you.
SEBASTIAN Why, there's for thee, and there, and
Beats Sir Andrew
there. Are all the people mad?
SIR TOBY Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house.
FESTE This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in26
some of your coats for twopence.
[Exit]
SIR TOBY Come on, sir, hold.28
SIR ANDREW Nay, let him alone. I'll go another way to work with
him. I'll have an action of battery30 against him, if there be
any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it's no
matter for that.
SEBASTIAN Let go thy hand.
SIR TOBY Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young
soldier, put up your iron. You are well fleshed.35 Come on.
SEBASTIAN I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If
thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.
SIR TOBY What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two
of this malapert39 blood from you.
Enter Olivia
OLIVIA Hold, Toby. On thy life I charge thee, hold!
SIR TOBY Madam!
OLIVIA Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne'er were preached! Out of my sight!--
Be not offended, dear Cesario.--
Rudesby46, be gone!
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian]
I prithee, gentle friend46,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and unjust extent48
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botched up51, that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go.
Do not deny. Beshrew53 his soul for me,
He started one poor heart54 of mine in thee.
Aside
SEBASTIAN What relish55 is in this? How runs the stream?
Or56 I am mad, or else this is a dream.
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe57 steep.
If it be thus to dream, still58 let me sleep!
OLIVIA Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou'dst59 be ruled by me!
SEBASTIAN Madam, I will.
OLIVIA O, say so, and so be!
Exeunt
Act 4 Scene 2
running scene 15