(14:27) It wasn't.
(14:28) Is that why you're being so bitchy?
(14:30) I'm not being bitchy. I'm bruised and tired.
(14:31) Have you taken painkillers?
(14:32) No shit, Sherlock.
(14:33) Somehow I sense you're not enjoying talking right now.
(14:36) Really? What gave it away?
(14:37) A few things.
(14:38) Your text tone.
(14:39) Your swearing.
(14:40) Kid, just shut the fuck up okay? My head is about to implode, and I can barely focus.
(14:41) Sorry … I was kidding …
(14:56) I know.
(14:57) I don't get hang-overs often. You've just caught me at a bad time.
(14:58) Maybe you should have a shower?
(14:59) Or a nap?
(15:01) Maybe I will.
(15:03) Okay well I hope it helps to clear your head.
(15:07) Same.
~0~
(17:29) Sorry about earlier.
(17:34) Mmm that is a nice way to wake up. Hello to you too.
(17:35) You were napping? It's a Saturday afternoon.
(17:36) So what?
(17:37) I had nothing else to do today with this weather. Gonna have a movie night later but that's about it.
(17:39) What movies?
(17:40) AGE OF ULTRON, and THE PROPOSAL.
(17:41) Those two don't really go together.
(17:43) I know. I picked one and my sister picked the other.
(17:45) What about your parents? They with you guys tonight?
(17:46) Dude, you sound so creepy!
(17:47) Why are you always asking if I'm alone?
(17:48) Well, one of us needs to be responsible.
(17:49) And … that needs to be you?
(17:50) Why?
(17:52) The police always check the phones.
(17:53) Considering you and I have already discussed murder I could be held accountable.
(17:54) I'm sure the police would have more leads than your number on my phone.
(17:55) I doubt it.
(17:56) I'm a very clean person.
(17:57) I'd be like DEXTER.
(18:00) That's … both chilling and impressive.
(18:01) If it's true.
(18:02) Oh, it's true.
(18:04) I very nearly said 'prove it' until I realised what that would mean.
(18:05) Oh for fucks sake.
(18:06) What?
(18:07) You just had to do it, didn't you?
(18:08) I'm sorry! What did I do?
(18:09) You made me smile.
(18:11) … That's bad because?
(18:12) I'm fighting a hangover. I can hear my skin!
(18:13) I'm going to have my lips in a sling for a week.
(18:15) Not a smiler then?
(18:17) What do you think, brat?
(18:18) What IS it with you and name-calling?
(18:20) Your reactions are funny.
(18:21) Arsehole.
(18:22) Classic.
(18:26) Ah, my sister's calling me. The pizzas here and she wants to start early.
(18:28) Okay, kid. Have fun being baby-sat.
(18:29) HEY! How do you know I'M not older?
(18:30) That.
(18:31) Douche.
(18:32) Brat.
~
(19:15) Did you ever notice that the Hulk is just like a big baby without his bottle?
(19:17) Are you seriously texting me while watching a movie with your sister?
(19:18) Maybe?
(19:19) But seriously? Have you not noticed that?
(19:20) Can't say that I have.
(19:21) Like … a big GREEN baby.
(19:23) Watch your movie, kid.
~
(21:12) I really don't get the premise of this movie.
(21:15) A pushy boss forces her young assistant to marry her in order to keep her visa status in the U.S. and avoid deportation to Canada.
(21:17) …
(21:18) I can use Google too.
(21:19) Sure you can, kid.
~
(23:48) There's nothing worse that turning off two movies and going back to regular, shitty TV.
(23:49) Buy a new one then.
(23:50) Huh?
(23:51) No, the TV isn't shitty. The show's are.
(23:52) Same thing.
(23:53) It really isn't.
(23:54) Shouldn't you be in bed?
(23:55) Shouldn't you?
(23:57) I am in bed. I was reading.
(23:58) Oh, shit. Sorry.
(23:58) What're you reading?
(00:00) A Handmaids Tale.
(00:01) For school or …?
(00:03) Yeah, school.
(00:05) Well, it must be a really boring book 'cause I'm yawning from all the way over here.
(00:07) I feel sorry for your teachers.
(00:09) Yeah you probably should. I'm a bit of a shit.
(00:11) Trust me. I know.
(00:13) Anyways, I'm gonna head to bed. TTYL Murderer.
(00:15) Try not to die, Brat.
Sunday AM
(9:03) So did you ever notice that you're talking to a complete strange and you have no clue who I am.
(9:04) Or where I am.
(9:05) Or how old I am.
(9:13) Whyyyyyyyy
(9:16) Did I wake you?
(9:18) Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(9:23) This is not a time of day.
(9:25) It's daylight hours, kid. That means you should be awake.
(9:26) But it's a Sunday.
(9:28) What does that have to do with anything?
(9:32) I was asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
(9:33) Clearly.
(9:36) Why're you awake anyway on a SUNDAY?
(9:42) I just got in from my jog.
(9:43) So you woke me up to tell me that? You're an arsehole.
(9:45) A popular nickname of mine. I've grown immune to that one.
(9:47) … Poo.
(9:53) Are you … Are you SULKING?
(9:54) Ha! Knew you were a bratty little kid!
(9:55) Says the douche who can't handle his drink.
(9:57) I can handle it just fine.
(9:58) Scroll up.
(10:04) Ah.
(10:04) Fuck. Forgot about that. Usually I'm harassing Eleanor.
(10:05) Eleanor?
(10:06) A … friend.
(10:07) Well … more like an eager acquaintance.
(10:08) Well … more like a rash that won't go away.
(10:09) This is how you talk about your friends?
(10:11) What?
(10:13) It's just … kindda harsh.
(10:15) So? I don't like people.
(10:18) I'm getting that impression.
(10:19) So why're you still talking to me?
(10:21) Yeah you're right.
(10:22) Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. Bye.
(10:24) NO WAIT! I WAS KIDDING!
(10:29) Dude?
(10:31) Murderer?
(10:36) Oh, come on!
~
(12:15) Okay, if this some lame sort of revenge it sucks!
(12:17) You're actually the worst.
~
(14:03) I've been looking into all these old crime files online and you're right. Murder seems so hard to get away with.
(14:06) Like … Even pre-emptive stuff gets found out through strange means.
(14:10) Suddenly making sense why so many people would burn off their fingerprints to disappear.
~
(16:12) 9 messages? Really?
(16:18) Oh hey! You're not dead!
(16:20) That remains to be seen.
(16:21) So, why the PMSing?
(16:25) You rudely disappeared after waking me up AT THE ARSECRACK OF DAWN so yes, I'm gonna friggin' PMS.
(16:29) Hahaha jeez kid. You can't be THAT bored that I'
m good company?
(16:32) So what if I am? What were you doing anyway that I didn't get all of your glorious attention, Oh, amazing one!
(16:45) I was helping a friend move in with her boyfriend, who happens to live just down the hall from me. They've been going out for years and she finally got a transfer here, so that's good. They used to live together further North so I'm happy for them.
(16:50) You have friends?
(16:52) Don't be a little shithead. Of course, I have friends.
(16:56) Sorry couldn't resist. So now that she's moved-in does this mean you'll have more reasons to be sociable?
(17:02) Maybe. We'll see. I have been invited to theirs for a take-away tonight. Bonnie insists we won't be up late, seeing as well have work in the morning.
(17:03) Bonnie is the girlfriend?
(17:04) Yes. Fletcher is my friend. They've been dating forever.
(17:06) So where's your missus, then, Mr. Murderer?
(17:07) Ha! Not even subtle eh?
(17:08) Of course not.
(17:10) Like I've said many times, I'm not a people person.
(17:11) So you're single?
(17:16) I guess that makes sense. We have been texting a lot. I guess if you were in a relationship, there'd have been a lot more silence on your end.
(17:19) Well look at that. A braincell. I was starting to think I'd need to send out a search party.
(17:22) You're so SURE I'm just a dumb kid.
(17:23) You've hardly proven me wrong.
(17:26) But …but come on!
(17:46) Whining. Yes. Way to prove me wrong.
(17:47) Well I'm glad I didn't hold my breath for you!
(17:51) Has anyone every told you, you have no boundaries?
(17:52) Yes.
(17:53) More than once actually.
(17:54) Hmm. Could it be me?
(17:58) Well that's something to think about.
(18:01) Well I'm off down the hall. Try to be productive and maybe finish your damn homework?
(18:02) Yeah right. Sure thing MUM!
(18:03) HAVE FUN!
Chapter 2
Monday AM
(11:34) I’ve decided that when I become an evil dictator I will personally imprison all math’s teachers and have them try and solve Hilbert’s problems to enter general society to be eligible to eat, have a job (not teaching) and live a relatively normal life.
(11:39) OR Taniyama’s problems, since there’s more. Either way, that shit it hardcore!
(11:47) Don’t you have school?
(11:49) Don’t you have work?
(11:52) I’m at work.
(11:57) I’m at school.
(11:59) So what’s your name?
(12:00) Sorry kid, lunchtime.
(12:01) Git.
~
(13:04) So what’s your name?
(13:07) Not happening.
(13:09) Please? I literally have you in my phone right now as ‘MY KILLER?’
(13:13) Sounds like a fairly good name to me.
(13:18) What am I in your phone?
(13:19) Oh GOD it’s embarrassing isn’t it?
(13:24) It’s not that embarrassing. I’m curious to see what you think you’re under, though.
(13:29) You’re deflecting.
(13:34) I’m busy. You know, work.
(13:36) Fine. Gender, then? Female? Male? Both? Neither? Breadstick?
(13:38) Breadstick?
(13:42) Why do you want to know anyway?
(13:45) Just trying to understand my potential murderer. The police would get a whole profile just by the way you kill me, so I think I deserve SOME sadistic back-story.
(13:46) Couldn’t I just lie then?
(13:48) Well, now you’re just spoiling my fun.
(13:52) Fine. I’m a man.
~
(13:59) So NOW you stop replying?
~
(14:05) Fine.
Monday PM
(16:09) Sorry! Something came up!
(17:30) I’m sure.
(17:31) It did!
(17:32) Did you get your phone taken off you?
(17:33) Sort of.