the usual excuse: Aunt Glenda had a very bad
headache.
Just after dinner that night. I walked over to
Uncle Roy and Aunt Glenda's house to talk to Harley
about when and how I would help him study for his
upcoming final exams. Uncle Roy was sitting in his
rocker, but hardly moving. He was in the shadows,
and I didn't realize he was there until I was almost at
the front steps.
"Hi, Uncle Roy," I said. "How's Aunt Glenda
now?" "She fell asleep," he said.
There wasn't much starlight because of some
overcast. so I could barely see his face.
"Is Harley around? I wanted to talk to him
about his schoolwork," I said.
"He went to sleep. too," Uncle Roy said. "So early?"
"When all you do mostly is sleep and eat and
ride around on your motorcycle, it's not surprising,"
he muttered.
"Would you please tell him I'll see him
tomorrow after school then. Uncle Roy?"
"Ill tell him," he said.
"Thanks for helping with my party yesterday," I
continued.
"Oh you're more than welcome, Princess." "Good night," I said.
"Good night." he replied, still well in the
shadows. It was almost as if I was talking to a ghost. When I returned from school that Monday, I
hurried to change into a pair of jeans and a more
casual blouse and sneakers. Then I shot out of the
house and hurried to see Harley. I saw the motorcycle
was there beside the garage where he kept it covered
with a piece of canvas. He had told me Uncle Roy
wouldn't permit him to keep it in the garage, which
was all right with him because he was afraid Uncle
Roy might accidentally on purpose run it over. I knocked on the door and Aunt Glenda
appeared, wiping her hands on her apron.
"Oh. hi. Summer dear."
"Hi. Aunt Glenda," I said. She opened the door
for me and stepped back, smiling.
"You had such a nice party and so many nice
presents. It was just the sort of sweet sixteen part., I
wish Latisha would have had."
"It was wonderful, Aunt Glenda."
She stared at me a moment, her smile frozen,
but her eves starting to darken with a troubled
thought.
"Is Harley home?" "Harley?"
She looked about as if she was flustered for a
moment, as if the question was so unexpected she
didn't think she could answer it correctly.
"Oh, yes," she said. "I think so anyway," she
added.
"Is he in his room?"
"His room? Yes," she said. "That's it. He's in
his room."
'"I'll go see him. then," I said nodding toward
the stairway. She smiled.
"I've got some potatoes up for mashing." she
said. "Roy just loves my mashed potatoes." "They are good," I agreed. which brought back
her smile.
She nodded and started back toward the kitchen. I watched her a moment and then went up the stairs. I called to Harley. His door was closed. He
didn't answer or open it so I knocked softly.
"Harley?"
There was still no answer. I turned the knob
softly and opened the door as gently as I could. When
I looked in. I saw him in bed, face down. Why was he
sleeping this time of the day I wondered, I waited, but
he didn't turn or move.
"Harley?" I still waited. I knew he had to have
heard me. I knew he didn't sleep that soundly. "Go away. Summer," he finally said.
"What? Why? Are you sick?"
"Yeah. I'm sick," he said. "Get outta here before
you catch something."
"What's the matter? Maybe you should see a
doctor."
"Yeah, a doctor." he said and followed it with a
short grunting laugh.
"Well, what's wrong with you, Harley? Didn't
you go to school today?"
"No." he said. 'and I'm not bothering going back
either. Just go home, will you."
"Harley Arnold, you better talk to me." He sighed deeply. I stood there, waiting, my heart starting to thump like a jackhammer. What was
wrong with him? Why this radical change?
He turned slowly and pulled himself into a
sitting position. I felt my heart stop and start as I
gasped. His right eye was black and blue and there
was an ugly swelling just under it.
"What happened?" I cried.
"I walked into a door," he said.
"Harley! Tell me!"
He looked down, took a deep breath and then
began.
"When I came home after your party. Roy and I
had a bad argument. I lost my temper and swung a
chair at him. He dodged it and I went head over heels
and slammed my face into the bottom of the chair. I
nearly knocked myself out."
"Are you telling the truth. Harley? He didn't hit
you?"
"I wish he had," he said. "How do you think I
feel having done this to myself? Instead, he scooped
me up, threw me over his shoulder, carried me up to
my room where he slapped me down in this bed and
then went and got me a piece of steak. Little good it
did. huh?"
"You look terrible." I said, unable to hide the
truth.
"I know, That's why I didn't brush my teeth and
my hair and go off to school."
"You've got to go back to school, and you can't
wait for this to heal. Harley. There aren't many days
left for classes."
"What difference will it make?"
"I thought we had decided I would help you
pass your finals. I thought we made a decision about it
and that was that. You promised you would try if I
helped you. Harley Arnold," I scolded. "You can't just
give up because you hurt yourself. You can still see
out of that eye, can't you?"
"Yes," he said.
"Then you can read and write and you can
study. Now, I'm going home. You're getting up,
getting dressed, gathering your books and coming
over in..." I looked at my watch. "In twenty minutes.
We'll put in two hours."
"Two hours!"
"Two hours and not a minute less." I turned and
walked to the door. "And," I said turning. "brush your
teeth and your hair."
He started to smile and then groaned with the
pain. "Maybe you finally learned something about
that temper of yours." I said. And then I added. But I
doubt it."
I closed the door behind me, let out a breath
and then smiled to myself and hurried down the stairs.
A little less than twenty minutes later. Harley was at
my front door, his books under his right arm, his hair
neatly brushed back.
"Do I meet inspection?" he asked.
"We'll see." I said. "We'll use the office." I had
already told Mommy and Daddy that Harley was
coming over to study. They were in the family room
watching television. I had warned them about Harley's
black eye. I gave them Harley's explanation, but they
both looked skeptical. Mommy tried not to have too
much of a reacti
on when she saw him, but the sight of
his swollen cheek widened her eyes anyway. "Hi," he said and they nodded. speechless. "What did you tell them?" he asked as we
walked away.
"Exactly what you told me,"
"They look like they don't believe it."
I stopped.
"Who would?" I asked and he laughed. We went to the office and began to review his
social studies material first. We worked the same time
all the remainder of the week, then we expanded our
study hours as the final exam dates approached.
Daddy was worried I was spending too much time
helping Harley and not enough on my own work. but I
assured him I wasn't.
What I discovered was if Harley really did
concentrate on something, he could gasp it rather
quickly. In the beginning Daddy looked in on us
occasionally. Whenever he did. Harley glanced at me
with that sardonic smirk on his face. I ignored it until
Mrs. Geary started appearing, ostensibly to clean
something or find something.
"A little paranoia floating through this house?"
Harley asked.
I couldn't think of any excuses so I just ignored
his remark. But for the last two days before finals. I
decided we would study in my room. There. I closed
the door.
When we were little, growing up together.
Harley was in my room from time to time, but over
the last five years or so, he was rarely there. In fact. I
couldn't recall the last time. After he entered, he just
stood looking around at everything, drinking it all in as if he wanted to lock it forever and ever in his memory, memorize each and every detail. He smiled when he saw that I had put the picture he had drawn
for me as a birthday present right over my bed. "What?"
"Didn't anyone complain about your putting
that up?"
"No, and besides, this is my room and I'm
proud of that picture and want it as prominent as can
be," I said.
I saw how his eves warmed.
"You can have the desk chair," I said and sat on
my bed. We were down to my dictating a mock exam
for him and his answering the questions. I flipped
through his books and papers. sprawling out
comfortably, and began.
I was wearing a skirt and a blouse and had my
hair down. Harley hovered over his paper and started,
but periodically he turned and looked at me. While he
worked I read some of my own material. so I didn't
know how long he was looking at me. Soon. I began
to feel his eves on me. I looked up quickly and saw
how he was staring.
What I hadn't realized was my top three blouse
buttons had come undone and with the angle I was at, I guess I was revealing as much of my bosom as I might had I been lying there in my swimming suit. I didn't want to be so obvious about it. and I didn't want him to feel he had been caught doing something he shouldn't. but I sat up quickly and pressed my palm
against my blouse.
"What?" I finally asked, "You can't be done
already?"
"It was easier downstairs being interrupted." he
said. "Why?"
"I was afraid to do anything but concentrate on
the schoolwork."
"So?"
He looked at the closed bedroom door and then
at me. "What?" I demanded.
"I can't look at you in here and not want to kiss
you," he said without hesitation.
For a moment I thought I had lost the power of
speech. I tried to swallow, but couldn't. He shrugged
and stood up.
"Maybe if I let that over with. I can
concentrate," he said in a very matter-of-fact tone of
voice: then he casually stepped over to the bed and
leaned down to take my shoulders in his hands and
bring his lips to mine. I was too shocked even to utter a note of resistence. It was a long, warm kiss. When
his lips left mine, my eyes were still closed. As soon as I opened them, he kissed me again.
Then he stepped back as I caught my breath. "Okay," he said. "I feel better," He walked back
to his seat, looked at his papers and turned to me. "I
missed the end of the last question, number ten." He lifted his pen, and waited.
"Number ten?" he repeated.
I guess I looked like I was in a state of shock.
"What? Oh, ves, that was about Macbeth. "
I flipped through the pages of notes while he
waited. Every time I glanced at him, he had that soft,
happy smile on his lips. Finally. I found the question
and repeated it. He nodded and turned back to the
paper.
I felt my cheeks because it seemed to me they
were on fire.
Then I quickly buttoned my blouse and finally
managed to swallow and take a deep breath. After he left. I stayed up as long as I could to
study for my own tests, but before I went to sleep. I
stood naked at my window and looked out over the
lake toward his house, toward the lit window I knew
was his and felt as if his eyes were on me.
His kiss was still on my lips when I laid my
head on my pillow.
I fell asleep only when I sank into a deeper
place within myself, a cozy place where accidents
never happened, where people never goat angry at
each other, where no one cried and where, if ever
rained, it rained softly, each drop full of sweetness
and light and always afterward, followed by a
rainbow.
Two days later, we both began our final exams. Harley passed all of his tests. Even Uncle Roy
was impressed and could only say. "Yeah, sure,"
when Daddy proposed they take us out to celebrate
our good grades and Harley's graduation.
Mommy decided she was going to help Aunt
Glenda prepare for the festivities. I brought Mommy
over to their house so she could talk to her about
buying some new clothes. As usual, the whole idea of
getting out in public and doing all these things put an
icy look of fear on Glenda's face. but Mommy spoke
softly and quietly, had a cup of tea with her, assured
her she would get along with her to all the department
stores, and finally left with Glenda's agreement to do
so. Mommy gently pointed out that Harley deserved
her being excited for him.
"He's accomplished a great deal. Glenda. He
needs to see you smiling proudly at him graduation
day."
I thought Aunt Glenda was going to cry. Her
eyes filled with tears, but she sucked in her breath and
nodded. Then she looked out the rear window in the
kitchen to ward Latisha's grave.
"It could have been wonderful for all of us." she
said. "It will be for Harley." Mommy emphasized. I was so proud of her that day, proud of how
she could handle someone as fragile as Aunt Glenda.
Where did Mommy get all her wisdom? I wondered.
So much of her adult life was spent confined to the
wheelchair and to her therapies. She could have had
the most cosmopolitan life, traveled, met all sorts of
wonderful people, vet she didn't waste away at home
wallowing in self-pity. She kept the light brightly l
it
inside her and held off the darkness.
Because of Mommy's influence. Aunt Glenda
even went to a beauty parlor and had her hair cut and
styled and her nails done, They stopped at the
cosmetic counter in the department store and the
beautician on duty performed a makeover right then
and there to show Aunt Glenda some of the
possibilities. After she and Mommy settled on a new dress and matching shoes with a matching purse, Aunt Glenda did look as if her youth and beauty had been
resurrected.
No one was more impressed than Uncle Roy. I
know it caused him to think about himself as well;
without any fanfare, he went out the next day and
bought himself some new clothes, too. When Harley
saw what was happening, he looked astounded, but
instead of being happy, he seemed even more worried.
I went over to see him while he was cleaning and
polishing his motorcycle.
"Did you see how pretty your mother is in her
new hairdo?" I asked.
He nodded and kept working.
"Daddy told us about Uncle Roy's new suit. He
went to the same tailor to get fitted. Isn't it
wonderful?"
He didn't speak, but concentrated on some
small part as if the whole world depended on it being
spotless.
"Harley Arnold, you could at least give me one
of your famous mints," I said.
He stopped looked at me and then stood up. "It just makes me nervous." he finally admitted
and after having done so, began to walk toward the
lake. "Why?" I asked running after him.
"I'm graduating, big deal. After the pomp and
circumstance and all the cheers, what happens next? I
haven't even applied to go to a college or do anything
else. I haven't even enlisted in the army.
"We'll go to the ceremony, go out to eat with
your parents, and then come home to... to nothing," he
said. "My mother will hang up her new dress and put
away her new shoes and purse and Roy will do the
same with his suit. All it will be is... is some
interruption."
"You've got to stop that," I insisted. I actually
stomped my foot, which brought a surprised smile to
his lips. "You've got to stop looking on the dark side
of everything. Wrong, wrong, wrong. This is not some
hiccup in your dreary life. Harley Arnold. You've
achieved something and now you're going to do
bigger and better things.
"You march right into the guidance office on
Monday and talk to Mr. Springer. There are lots of
schools that will still consider you for their freshman