He's very nice and . ."
"Oh, I think she'll be fine," Crystal said. "Any
fever?"
"No," she said quickly.
Too quickly, I thought. Patsy's eyes filled with
that gleam of suspicion again as she looked from
Raven to me and back to Crystal.
"How do you know?"
"We have a thermometer," Crystal said. "We
took along a small first-aid kit when we left on our
trip," she added.
"You mean Brooke didn't just buy one?" she
asked with a smile. "I heard you drive off," she said to
me.
"No, I just sent her for some Tylenol," Crystal
replied.
"I have that. You should have asked. In fact, we
have some in the restaurant under the counter." She
stood there a moment longer. I thought she was going
to ask to examine Butterfly, but she just said, "Okay,
girls. Rest up. Tonight's a big night. Call me if you
need me," she added.
I flashed a smile and Crystal thanked her. We
watched her walk toward the trailer and then Crystal
closed the door softly.
"I hate lying," she said. "Making up our past is
fun, like story-telling, but sometimes I hate being
deceitful."
"You had to do it, Crystal," I comforted. "I just hope she doesn't get suspicious," Raven
said, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry I'm sick," Butterfly cried. We all
returned to her bedside.
"Don't be silly, Butterfly. You couldn't help it,"
Crystal said.
"I'm going to get it. I just know I'm going to get
it," Raven worried. "What'll we do if I can't work? It
will take us forever to earn our money back!" "Let's not worry about things until we have to," Crystal advised. "We've got enough problems
right now without thinking up more."
And that was the truth.
We had a very busy dinner that night and could
have used Butterfly's help. Danny popped in almost
an hour after the rush had begun. He started to bus
some tables and then disappeared in the back when
two friends of his arrived. Raven said she thought
they were smoking dope. She had gone to the
stockroom for Charlie and observed them through the
partially opened rear door.
"Don't tell Patsy," I said. "Not now."
Whenever we had a lull in activity, Crystal left
to check on Butterfly. The second time, she returned
to tell me her fever was nearly 103.
"If it doesn't break in an hour or so, Brooke, I
think we ought to take her to the hospital. I'm afraid I
might not be right. Maybe she's having a reaction to
some virus, or something she ate."
Raven and I looked at each other. Disaster was
looming. The hands of the clock ticked us closer to it
every minute. Working hard was the only way not to
dwell on it. Finally, business slowed and the last few
customers began to think about leaving. That was
when Danny reappeared.
"Where were you? You saw how busy we were,
Danny. Why did you leave the restaurant?" Patsy
called after him.
"I hate the restaurant," he screamed back at her. Her shoulders sank as she raised her head to
hold back her tears. No one said anything. We all
went back to work, helping Charlie clean up. Before
we were finished, Taylor showed up for Raven. He'd
asked her out for a second day in a row.
"Maybe you shouldn't go with him tonight,
Raven," I said. She wore a pained expression. "Brooke, I can take care of myself. Besides,"
her eyes got that dreamy look again, "no one has ever
been as nice to me as Taylor's been. He really likes
me, I know he does."
"I'm sure you're right, Raven. We just don't
want to see you get hurt." From the look on her face,
it was clear that Raven didn't hear anything I had to
say.
Crystal tried to break through Raven's loveinduced haze. "C'mon Raven, why don't you stick
around tonight. Butterfly could use some cheering
up."
"Would you guys please stop worrying. I'll be
fine. Besides, even you said yourself, Crystal, I
shouldn't get too close to Butterfly in case I never had
the measles." And with that she grabbed her sweater
from behind the counter and headed for Taylor's table. Crystal and I just shrugged at each other in
defeat and wished the lovebirds a good time as we
made our way out of the diner and over to our cottage. When I awoke the next morning I found Crystal
sitting at the tiny kitchen table counting our tips. I
groggily made my way to the table and asked where
everyone was.
"Raven's helping Butterfly wash up--she must
have had a good date last night. She's got a smile
permanently attached to her face." Crystal's tone was
wary and from the way she shook her head I could tell
she was just as concerned as I was about Taylor's
intentions.
"Do you think Patsy could be wrong about
Taylor?" I asked. "Raven wouldn't fall for a jerk." Before Crystal could answer, the bathroom
door flew open and Butterfly and Raven appeared before us. Butterfly was still flushed, but at least she was
giggling, a sign that maybe she was back to her old
self. Raven on the other hand looked suspicious. "What are you two crows talking about so quietly?" she asked.
Crystal, always the quick thinker, had a ready
answer. "We were just discussing the fact that we should have enough money in a week or two to get
back on the road."
Raven paled and we knew she was thinking of
Taylor. "I wish we didn't have to leave ... at least not
so soon."
"This guy has really gotten to you, hasn't he,
Raven?" I wanted to understand what had come over
Raven in the past few days. I'd never been in love and
couldn't imagine what it could feel like.
"I know you guys are worried," Raven began,
something almost magical about Taylor and me. I've
always dreamt I would meet the perfect boy and I
think maybe I finally have."
Finally Butterfly spoke up. "I hope my heart
leads me to Prince Charming one day too." A huge
coughing attack hit her and Crystal escorted her back
to bed.
Up until now Patsy had accepted our excuses
for Butterfly staying in the cottage, but by the next
morning she was beginning to get a little suspicious.
Thankfully Butterfly's fever had broken during the
night and she was feeling well enough to join us for
the lunch shift.
Just when we thought we were safe, Patsy made
an announcement that made our blood run cold. "Payday tomorrow," she declared cheerily. "I'll
need everyone's social security number and addresses."
We looked to Crystal.
"Can't you pay us off the books, Patsy? We'll
accept less money," Crystal proposed.
Patsy shook her head slowly and a curious
expression came over her face. "You girls should be
able to tell by now that that's not the way I
run my
business. I'm totally on the up and up." She shifted
around to glance at each and every one of us, and it
felt like she was waiting for one of us to crack. I couldn't stand the silence any longer and
finally spoke up. "We'll have to dig through our things
for the social security cards. Is it okay if we bring
them tomorrow?" Crystal glared at me while Raven
and Butterfly looked on wide-eyed.
Patsy let us go that evening without another
question, but as soon as we got to the cottage Crystal
let me have it.
"What were you thinking, Brooke? How are we
supposed to come up with those cards?" She was
livid.
"I couldn't help it. Patsy was staring at us with those big eyes and I just thought we had to make up something!" I knew I'd gotten us in bigger trouble, but
as far as I could tell we were already in pretty deep. "Well, I suppose we can tell her our social
security cards were stolen . . . and we'll have to just
make up our addresses," Crystal conceded.
Raven finally spoke up. "What if Patsey checks
up on us and finds out the addresses are fakes?" "She won't," I answered, trying to sound
confident.
Once again, I had the feeling the our lies were
tangling up around us, trapping us in a web of
deception that we'd never be able to flee.
9 Caught in the Act
That night Crystal worked out what everyone's home address would be. She did have her social security card with her and decided she would give hers to Patsy and explain how ours were stolen.
"I think we'll get by with this, but I don't know how much longer we should stay here under false pretenses," she said. "Lies are like bubbles. They eventually float to the surface."
"We'll stay until we get enough money, at least, won't we?" Raven asked. She was pacing by the cottage window. Taylor hadn't shown up as he usually did after the dinner rush and Raven was getting anxious.
"I can't make any promises, Raven," Crystal said in a careful, noncommittal tone.
"Promises? Why does everyone all of a sudden think I'm looking for promises?" Raven cried. She went out, slamming the door behind her.
"Why is Raven so upset?" Butterfly asked.
"I think she and Taylor had a fight. At least he hasn't shown up yet tonight," I told her.
Crystal sat at the table working on some kind of revised budget for us based on the money we had already made and the money we could anticipate making. Butterfly wanted to go out and be with Raven, but Crystal told her it would be better to leave Raven alone for now.
"You can help me, instead," she told her and spread the map out on the small table before them. "Let's look at where we should go next and what we can see along the way."
I went into the bathroom and began to undress. Naked, I played with the faucets and worked on getting the water not too hot and yet warm enough to enjoy. As I did so, I caught some movement in the corner of the small window above the tub and I froze. I waited and saw it again. It was definitely someone's head.
I didn't scream. Calmly, pretending to still be interested in my shower, I backed away until I was out of sight and slipped my shirt and pants on as quickly as I could. Then I crouched down, keeping below the sight line of the window, opened the door and crawled out.
Crystal turned, a look of confusion on her face when she saw me on all fours.
"What are you doing?"
I put my finger to my lips and both she and Butterfly became paralyzed with fear and curiosity. Then I rose and charged out the door and around the house to find Danny and his two friends squatting by the window. None of them had heard me and they all had their backs to me.
"Enjoying yourselves?" I asked, and they spun around. "I suppose this is how you get your kicks. Is it the best you can do?"
His two friends laughed nervously, but Danny showed no embarrassment or guilt. He sauntered toward me.
"We just wanted to see if you were a male or female," he quipped.
"How would you know the difference?" I shot back. His friends laughed at him, and in the dim glow of the-light that flowed from the bathroom window, I could see him turn a dark crimson.
Raven, who had been waiting in the parking lot, started to hurry around the side of the building. Crystal and Butterfly were behind her.
"Usually, I do," he said. "But you're the exception. Maybe we'll find out now," he added, throwing a look at his buddies, who drew closer, their faces full of lusty smiles. He reached out to seize my wrist and pull me to him. "How about showing us what you're hiding under there?"
Once, in the ninth grade, I got into a fight with a boy. His name was Eddie Goodwin and he was always teasing me because I had gone out for the boys' basketball junior varsity team and almost made it. The girls had their own team, but the coach, maybe as a way of jolting his lackadaisical players, let me come to a tryout. Eddie telegraphed his every move, so I was able to steal the ball from him twice. He took a great deal of razzing from his friends about it and afterward came after me in the hall. I realized he wasn't just going to call me names and make fun of me. He was going to do something more, maybe even punch me. I didn't give him the chance. When he was close enough, I jammed my knee between his legs and he crumbled to the hall floor, squirming in pain.
Later, I had to go to the principal's office. Because I was the one who had been physical first, I got into the most trouble. I was suspended from school for two days. It didn't matter that I had felt threatened. I was punished at the foster home, too. I thought it was very unfair, but being treated unfairly in this world was not terribly unusual for me. Of course, beating up a boy like that didn't do my reputation much good. It simply reinforced the image of me most of my fellow students and even my teachers already had.
But I was tired of being put down for it, tired of being looked upon as some sort of freak just because I didn't fit some preconceived idea of what a girl had to be. We might as well be robots or mass produced in genetic laboratories, I thought, and I held onto my own self-image and self-respect, regardless of the cost, even if it meant I wouldn't ever be the object of some handsome boy's interest.
Danny's fingers squeezed down on my wrist. It stung. I felt my skin burn as he twisted my arm. He reached out to open my shirt with his other hand and I turned swiftly, bringing my right knee up and into his groin. The pained look in his face demonstrated his complete surprise. He let go of me, doubled up, and fell over, screaming and cursing.
His two friends gazed down at him writhing like a snake that had just been run over, and then they looked at me with rage.
"Get her," Danny ordered.
They started toward me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a broken wood crate and seized a piece of it that still had nails protruding. They stopped their advance when I raised it like a club.
"I'll use it," I said shakily
Raven came up behind me.
"What happened?" she asked, looking down at Danny, who was now on all fours, taking deep breaths.
"He tried to pull off my shirt," I said. "I saw them in the bathroom window when I went to take a shower. He and his idiot friends were being Peeping Toms, getting their kick of the year."
Danny's friends helped him to his feet.
"You bitch," he said. "You'll be sorry.-
"Go soak yourself in tar," I spit back.
"Now you've gone and done it," Raven said. "W
hat's Patsy going to do?"
"Probably give me a medal," I replied.
"Are you all right?" Crystal asked, coming up alongside us.
"Fine. Let's go back inside. I doubt he'll say anything to Patsy, Raven," I told her. "He'll have to explain why he was behind the cottage and at the window."
We saw the three make their way to a car in the lot. They lit cigarettes and glared our way.
"Let's go inside," Crystal said.
I told them the whole story, every gritty detail. "I forgot to hang a towel over the window," I said. "He's probably been there before."
"I'm sure it's the only way he'll ever see a girl undressed," Raven quipped. She kept her eyes toward the window, waiting, hoping for signs of Taylor.
Finally, I calmed down, but I never got up the nerve to take that shower. Crystal, Butterfly and I decided to go to bed, but Raven insisted on staying up, sitting in a chair, refusing to go to bed because Taylor might still come for her. She sat in the dark, staring out at the parking lot.
"He's not coming, Raven. Why torture yourself?" I said after a while.
"Something very unexpected must have happened," she muttered.
"Sure."
"You're glad, aren't you?" she fired at me.
"Don't be stupid, Raven. I'll admit I wasn't happy about your getting too involved with someone while we stopped over here, but I don't want you to be unhappy. I just worry about you," I said.
She simmered down and returned to feeling sorry for herself.
"I can never have a decent boyfriend. I'll never meet anyone but dorks," she whined.
I turned over in bed and closed my eyes. A little more than a half hour or so later, I heard her sigh deeply, get up and prepare for bed. She finally crawled under the covers.
"Brooke?"
"What?"
"Are you still awake?"
"No. I'm talking to you in my sleep," I said. "What?"
"I lied to you guys," Raven said. She was quiet. Damn it, I thought. I felt like a fish, hooked. Reluctantly, I turned over.
"Okay, I'm biting. What?"
"I'm not as experienced as I pretended to be. Actually . ."
"What, Raven? Actually what?"
"Last night was the first time."
"Last night?" I started to sit up. "You were careful, right?"
"It was hard to be careful, Brooke. It's never happened to you, so you don't know what it's like. You just forget how far you're going. It feels so good and you keep telling yourself, there's time to stop. There's time to be careful, but . . ."