hierarchy of needs, Maslow’s, 8–9
Hill, David, 205
hindsight bias, 230
Holland, John, 207
hope, 79
Howard, John, 153
Hughes, John, 18
hyper-independence, 186–187
hyper-systemization, 131
If I Ran the Zoo (Dr. Seuss), 18
“if-then” scripts, 131–132, 134, 135, 159
incubators for business startups, 227
Ingersol, Brooke, 53
innovations. See groundbreaking innovations of awkward innovators
Instagram, 160, 162, 174
institutions, social, demise of, 149–155
intelligence quotient (IQ) tests, 198, 199–201, 203
intense world theory, 74
introversion, 40
involuntary emotions, 76
Iowa State University, 200
Isen, Alice, 81
Ivcevic Zorana, 163
James, E. L., 180–181
Jobe, Lisa, 158–159, 183
Jobs, Steve, 218, 224–225
Johannes Gutenberg University, 15
Johns Hopkins University, 30
Johnson, Timmy, 167–168
Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 34, 35
joy, 79
Kanner, Leon, 30–31
Keltner, Dacher, 81–82
Kiecolt-Glaser, Janice, 10
Kimpton, Kellie, 46–49, 51, 52, 54, 57, 61, 62–63, 64–65, 229
kindness, 96, 97
King, Stephen, 227
King’s College, 21, 203, 206
Kruger, Justin, 161
Kumar, Arun, 154
Kuncel, Nathan, 214
Laboratory of Neural Microcircuits, 74
latency stage, 197
Leary, Mark, 9
Lewis, C. S., 227
Lewis, Michael, 225–226
Lieberman, Matthew, 50
life expectancies, 8, 10
likability and popularity, 94–99, 108–109
LinkedIn, 162
The Lion King (play), 19–21
localized processing style, 21
London Royal Ballet, 202
loneliness
chronic, 10
friendships and, 158
rates of, 147–148
Lord of the Flies (Golding), 8
manners and etiquette, 155–160
Markram, Henry, 74
Markram, Kamila, 74
marriage
awkward traits and marital satisfaction, 184–185
delayed marriages among millennials, 169–170
drop in marriage rate, 169
online dating and marriage rates, 175
Maslow, Abraham, 8–9
Mast, Marianne Schmid, 52–53
math and science
achievement of perfection in, 219–220
artificial intelligence computers, 224
chemistry, 137–138
computer science and the mathematically gifted, 208–209, 211
computers in film animation, 225
IQ tests, 198
Math Olympiad, 207, 208
mathletes, 207, 208
Max Planck Institute for Human Development, 146
McGill University, 131
McPherson, Miller, 148
Mead, Margaret, 54–55
Mean Girls (movie), 18, 207
memory tests, 198–199
Mental Health Foundation (United Kingdom), 147–148
mental preparation drills, 133–134, 137
metrics, 221–222
Michigan State University, 53, 201
millennials
decreased participation in social institutions, 150, 151
handling social situations, 155
and marriage, 169–170
sexual behavior of, 180
views about diversity, 152
Mills College, 81–82
Mills Longitudinal Study, 81–82
Mintah, Kojo, 183
Miranda, Lin-Manuel, 223
mistakes, avoiding, 103
morality, manners and relationship to, 156–157, 158
mortality risk, chronic loneliness and, 10
narcissists, 39–40
Naumann, Laura, 15
Nazi Germany, 41–42
negative behaviors, 102–103, 104
nerds
discouraging, 211
origins of, 17–18
self-proclaimed, 114, 125
TV portrayal of, 207
NeuroTribes (Silberman), 41
New York Times, 155
New York University, 161
Nixon, Richard, 153
nonverbal behaviors, 52–54
Northeastern University, 52
Northern Illinois University, 104
obsessive interests, 205, 206, 208–209, 210, 211, 226
Ohio State University, College of Medicine, 10
OkCupid.com, 174
online dating apps, 170, 172, 173–174
online dating, awkwardness of, 173–177
social expectations of online daters, 11–12
online magazines, 175
online socialization, 160–161
the Internet, 161, 173–174
online communities and friendships, 161–163
oral stage of development, Freud’s, 122–123, 124
Oxford University, 71, 208
Page, Larry, 223
Palmer, Colin, 93
perfection, talented people and achievement of, 219–220, 229
personality assessment, 3–4
personality disorders, and awkwardness, 39–40
personality traits
awkwardness and, 139–140
Big Five personality traits, 163
rage to master, 202–204, 205, 209–210, 219, 220
Pew Research Center, 149, 152, 169, 170
Pinterest, 162
Pixar films, 225
Pollman, Monique, 184–185
popularity and likability, 94–99, 108–109
pornography, 181–182
positive behaviors, 102–103
positive emotions, 80–83, 84
pride, 79
Purdue University, 95
Purity and Danger (Douglas), 10
Putnam, Robert, 145–146
Quiet (Cain), 40
rage to master, personality trait, 202–204, 205, 209–210, 219, 220
reflexive emotions, 76, 78
religious institutions, 150, 151
repetitive behaviors, 30, 31, 74, 205
Rowling, J. K., 227
rule of five, 31–32
Saban, Nick, 201
science. See math and science
second-language speakers, 44
Seemers, Ed, 27, 28
self-conscious emotions, 77
self-esteem movement, 32–33
Seuss, Dr., 17–18
sex. See dating and sex
shame, 77
Shetgiri, Rashmi, 100
Silberman, Steve, 41
Silus, Chrissy, 167
Simon Frazier University, 195
Simonton, Dean, 222, 223, 224, 226
Smith, Mike, 201
Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect (Lieberman), 50
social anxiety, 39
social brain, 50–51
social conversations
avoidance of emotional conversations, 75
decoding language used during, 52, 57–62
list of five things to say, 60
nonverbal behaviors during, 54
social deficits, 205
social equity, value of, 105–109
social etiquette, 155–160
social expectations
and awkward impulses in children, 122–125
awkward moments and, 15, 17
consequences of expectations, 105
of employers, 11–12
in evaluating social
worth, 11–12
and expectations of fairness, 96–97
first impressions and, 12, 14–15, 16
for groups, 10–11
of online daters, 11–12
violating, 76, 78
social fluency, 43–45
bullies use of, 100
emotions and, 73
facial cues and, 56
and processing of social cues, 199
theory of mind formulation and, 92–94
and use of “if-then” scripts, 132
social groups
friendships and size of, 144–149
hunter-gatherer groups, 9, 195–196
using expectations and judgments in, 12–13
wants and needs of belonging to, 10–11
social institutions, demise of, 149–155
social interactions
avoidance of emotional conversations, 75
awkwardness and systematic patterns in, 131
the brain in social situations, 50–51
decoding language used during conversations, 52, 57–62
during social situations, 13–14
“first-three” strategy, 14–15, 16
“if-then” scripts in, 131–132, 134, 135
introversion and extroversion in, 40
nonverbal behaviors during conversations, 54
preparing children for, 133–137
“second-three” strategy, 16
social anxiety in, 39
social media, 160, 163
social networks, online socialization, 160–163
Social Responsiveness Scale, 119–121
social-skill coaching, 134–137
sociopaths, 39–40
Socratic dialogues, 133
sports
athletes in state of flow, 126
basketball, 142
bowling, 146
football, 113–114
golf, 166–167
obsessive nature of athletes, 209
tennis, 142–144, 164, 219
wrestling, 27–29, 33, 42
Stanford University, 198, 225
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (movie), 18
Star Wars trilogy (movie), 49–50
Sternberg, Robert, 199–200
Strong Interest Inventory, 207
stuttering, 44
Sutherland, Ivan, 225
systemizing, 130–131
talented people
and achievement of perfection, 219–220, 229
fitting in, 228–229
groundbreaking innovations of, 222–223, 226
metrics and measuring results of, 222
and road to achievement, 230
talented authors, 227
Tangney, June Price, 76–77
Taylor, Paul, 149
temper tantrums, 67–69, 70–71, 80, 83–86
Terman, Lewis, 198
theory of mind, 91–94
Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality (Freud), 122
Todd, Richard, 119–121
Top Gun (movie), 26
Twenge, Jean, 179–180
Twitter, 160, 162
University College London, 21
University of Alabama, 201
University of Amsterdam, 184
University of Arizona, 148
University of California, Berkeley, 15, 77, 81, 117
University of California, Davis, 222
University of California, Los Angeles, 50
University of California, Riverside, 100
University of California, San Francisco, 55
University of Cambridge, Autism Research Centre at, 34
University of Chicago, 145
University of Edinburgh, 205
University of Illinois, 9
University of Minnesota, 3, 214
University of Neuchatel, 52
University of New South Wales, 93
University of North Carolina, 56, 81
University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, 97
University of Padova, 99
University of Queensland, 148
University of Texas Medical Center, 100
University of Utah, 225
University of Vienna, 41
University of Washington, 100, 102
Virginia Commonwealth University, 158
visual arts, 212
Vital, Pedro, 203, 205
Washington University School of Medicine, 119
Wells, Brooke, 179–180
Wheelwright, Sally, 71
White, Susan Williams, 158–159, 183
Williams, Alex, 155
Winner, Ellen, 193–194, 201–202, 209–210, 213, 226
Workplace Bullying Institute, 99
World Wide Wrestling Federation (WWWF) debacle, 27–29, 33, 42
Wrzus, Cornelia, 146–147
Y Combinator, 227
YouTube, manners videos, 155
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
TY TASHIRO, PhD, is the author of The Science of Happily Ever After. His work has been featured in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time.com, TheAtlantic.com, and on NPR and SiriusXM Stars radio. He received his doctorate in psychology from the University of Minnesota, has been an award-winning professor at the University of Maryland and University of Colorado, and has addressed TED@NYC, Harvard Business School, MIT’s Media Lab, and the American Psychological Association. He lives in New York City.
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CREDITS
Cover design by Elsie Lyons
Cover images © Shutterstock
COPYRIGHT
AWKWARD. Copyright © 2017 by Ty Tashiro. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-242915-5
EPub Edition April 2017 ISBN 9780062429179
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