Moron's Guide to Surviving the Space Race

I lay there in bed, staring at Marissa. “I think you may have ruined me for all women. Expecting that kind of performance and level of skill I worry may be counterproductive to a future love life.”

  “I love how dry you are John. I’ve trained myself to find humor in any jokes men tell, but I don’t have to work really hard on it with you.” I think that was a compliment, but with Marissa you never can tell.

  “Well, I’m glad there is something about me that you enjoy.” I commented.

  “Oh, don’t you dare start acting like that, John. Why is it so hard to accept that I’m not going with you?” Marissa asked me, turning her eyes to lock onto mine.

  “Marissa, the hardest part about this situation isn’t that you aren’t coming with me. More like, I’m trying not to feel like there is something wrong with me that is preventing you.”

  “Alright, John, I’m going to explain something. I’m not a good person. You need a good person. I’m perfectly okay with carrying around fifty people in a cargo hold that are going to get chewed up in a mine within a few months. Just the thought of something like that for you is nearly sending you screaming over the hills. You were damn near contemplating self-sacrifice to save them John.” Marissa explained. “Do you want to know what my thoughts on that situation are?”

  “Sure.” I stated, not really wanting to hear them, but knowing that I didn’t want to not hear them either.

  “Oh, look, another boat load of losers that managed to be such complete eye sores that even the leadership of the city looks the other way when they disappear. Glad that isn’t me. Can’t wait to spend the money off this haul.” Marissa said this in her most practical tone.

  “Yeah, I get it. We aren’t alike. That doesn’t mean that we won’t find common ground.” I argued.

  “Okay, John, this is me doing you another favor. You need to find someone that makes Mary Poppins look mean. You keep going after women like me and one day, one of them is going to seriously hurt you. And you are going to sit there wondering why. I felt generous with you because you did me the favor of not making me feel like a whore. Even though I am one, it’s nice feeling like a lady every now and again. But I’m also not the type of person that wants that all the time either and with you, I would.” Marissa leaned over and kissed me lightly.

  “Will you at least answer me one question?” I asked her.

  “What’s that?” Marissa propped herself up on her elbow.

  “Where do you guys make the drop? At some point I would at least like to see you again.”

  “One side of me is telling me not to give you any further ability to get yourself into trouble now that you might actually make a clean getaway. While the other side is saying you are fun and better in bed than the average person I sleep with. Hmmm… Quite a situation you put me into on this one.” Marissa smiled and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Okay, okay… We drop off at Terran three. After drop off, that’s usually where we hang out for about a month before we get a new haul. Oh and by the way, I already talked to Eddie. He’s got a pilot lined up to take your place. Fred told him to be prepared in case you didn’t hang around. Now, where were we…” I didn’t get much sleep that night. At all.

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