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    Gaudete

    Page 2
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      Lumb is spreadeagled beneath it.

      A long-handled hook rips the bull’s underbelly from ribs

      to testicles.

      Half a ton of guts

      Balloon out and drop on to Lumb.

      He fights in the roping hot mass.

      He pushes his head clear, trying to wipe his eyes clear.

      Curtains of live blood cascade from the open bull above

      him.

      Wallowing in the greasy pulps, he tries to crawl clear.

      But men in bloody capes are flinging buckets of fresh

      blood over him.

      Many bulls swing up, on screeching pulleys.

      Intestines spill across blood-flooded concrete.

      The din is shattering, despair of beasts

      And roaring of men, and impact of steel gates.

      Bull’s skins stripped off, heads tumbling in gutters.

      Carcases fall apart into two halves.

      Lumb scrambles from the swamp.

      He tries to wipe his eyes and to see.

      Men crowd round him, laughing like madmen,

      Emptying more buckets of the hot blood over him.

      They are trying to drown him with blood

      And to bury him in guts and lungs,

      Roaring their laughter

      As if they imitated lions.

      Till he crawls on all fours to the wall, and hauls himself

      up by the edge of a sliding steel door

      And forces it open

      As the men come at him, jabbing with their electrified

      clubs

      And roaring their infernal laughter

      And he runs blind into pitch darkness and the din is

      muffled away.

      And he walks

      With outstretched protecting arms

      Till he sees a doorway to daylight.

      He sees a ginnel, beyond it. Then stone steps upwards into daylight. He stands at the bottom of the steps and looks up at moving clouds. He hears street noises and sees the top of a bus go past and a woman with shopping. A mongrel dog peers down at him between rusty railings. He turns back, and finds himself in a derelict basement full of builder’s old lumber. He looks down at his blood-varnished body, crusting black, already flaking, and trembling with shock and bewilderment. He strives to remember what has just happened to him. He can no longer believe it, and concludes that he must have been involved in some frightful but ordinary accident. He searches round for some other exit from this basement, in growing agitation, but there is only the door to the street. He returns to the bottom of the steps and stands looking up again at the clouds, till his trembling becomes hard shivering. Suddenly he remembers the streets full of corpses, but his dread then was nothing like what he feels now. He forces himself to move.

      He climbs the stone steps.

      GAUDETE

      Binoculars

      Powerful, age-thickened hands.

      Neglected, the morning’s correspondence

      Concerning the sperm of bulls.

      The high-velocity rifles, in their glass-fronted cupboard,

      Creatures in hibernation, an appetite

      Not of this landscape.

      Coffee on the desk, untasted, now cold,

      Beside the tiger’s skull – massive paperweight with a small man-made hole between the dragonish eye-sockets.

      Major Hagen, motionless at his window,

      As in a machan,

      Shoulders hunched, at a still focus.

      The parkland unrolls, lush with the full ripeness of the last week in May, under the wet midmorning light. The newly plumped grass shivers and flees. Giant wheels of light ride into the chestnuts, and the poplars lift and pour like the tails of horses. Distance blues beyond distance.

      The scene

      balances on the worm’s stealth, the milled focal adjustment, under the ginger-haired, freckle-backed thick fingers and the binocular pressure of Hagen’s attention.

      Across the middle distance, beyond the wide scatter of bulls, the prone stripe of the lake’s length reflects the sky’s metals. Crawling with shadow, hackled with reeds, snaggy with green bronze nymphs, maned with willows.

      Everything hangs

      In a chill dewdrop suspension,

      Wobbled by the gossamer shimmer of the crosswind.

      Hagen’s face is graven, lichenous.

      Outcrop of the masonry of his terrace.

      Paradeground gravel in the folded gnarl of his jowls.

      A perfunctory campaign leatheriness.

      A frontal Viking weatherproof

      Drained of the vanities, pickled in mess-alcohol and

      smoked dark.

      Anaesthetised

      For ultimate cancellations

      By the scathing alums of King’s regulations,

      The petrifying nitrates of garrison caste.

      A nerve is flickering

      Under the exemplary scraped steel hair on the bleak

      skull,

      But the artillery target-watching poise of his limbs,

      stiff-kneed and feet apart,

      Absorbs the tremor,

      And the underlip, so coarsely wreathed

      And undershot, like the rim of a crude archaic piece of

      earthenware

      Is not moved

      Forty generations from the freezing salt and the

      longships.

      In his hardening lenses

      The rhododendrons of the shrubbery island

      Wince their chilled scarlet eruptions.

      The willows convulse, they coil and uncoil, silvery, like swans trying to take off. Their long fringes keep lifting from the Japanese bridge. On the bridge, two figures com plete the landscape artist’s arrangement

      The Reverend Lumb’s long sallow skull

      Seeming dark as oiled walnut

      Rests on the shoulder

      Of Pauline Hagen, the Major’s wife,

      Whose body’s thirty-five year old womb-fluttered

      abandon

      Warms his calming hands

      Beneath her ample stylish coat.

      Her nerve-harrowed face

      Crisping towards a sparse harvest handsomeness

      Rests on his shoulder.

      She has been weeping

      And now looks through blur into the streaming leaf-shoal

      of the willows.

      Lumb’s downward gaze has anchored

      On the tough-looking lilies, their clenched knob-flowers

      In the cold morning water.

      A deadlock of submarine difficulty

      Which their draughty hasty lovemaking has failed to

      disentangle

      And which has brought words to a stop.

      Hagen

      Contemplates their stillness. The man-shape

      To which his wife clings.

      He does not detect

      Lumb’s absence. He can watch his wife

      But not the darkness into which she has squeezed her eyes,

      The placeless, limitless warmth

      She has fused herself into,

      Clasping that shape

      And shutting away the painful edges and clarities of the

      gusty distance,

      Under the toppling continents of hard-blossomed cumulus

      The tattery gaps of blue

      And the high, taut mad cirrus.

      The vista quivers.

      Decorative and ordered, it tugs at a leash.

      A purplish turbulence

      Boils from the stirred chestnuts, and the spasms of the

      new grass, and the dark nodes of bulls.

      Hagen

      Undergoes the smallness and fixity

      Of tweed and shoes and distance. And the cruelty

      Of the wet midmorning light. The perfection

      Of the lens.

      And a tremor

      Like a remote approaching express

      In the roots of his teeth.

      Hagen is striding

      Exerting his leg-muscles, as if for health, breasting the oxygen, his clea
    ted boots wrenching the gravel, down the long colonnade of chestnuts

      Under the damp caves and black-beamed ruinous attics

      Of intergroping boughs

      That lean out and down over the meadow on either side,

      Supporting their continents of leaf, their ramshackle

      tottery masks.

      His black labrador revolves passionately in its excitements. His double-barrelled Purdey, cradled light in his left elbow, feels like power. It feels like far-roaming tightness, neatness, independence. With this weapon, Hagen is happy. A lonely masterful elation bristles through him. He glances constantly toward the perfection of the down-sloping barrels, blue and piercing, snaking along beside him, nosing over the poor grass and the ground ivy at the drive’s edge.

      His features are fixed at enjoyment, a grille. He aims himself, tight with force, down the tree-tunnel, at the cold sheet of lakelight from which two figures, carefully separate, are approaching.

      A ringdove, tumbling with a clatter

      Into wing-space

      Under the boughs and between boles

      And swerving up towards open field-light

      Is enveloped by shock and numbness.

      The bang jerks the heads of twenty bulls

      And breaks up the distance.

      A feather mop cavorts.

      With a kind of gentleness

      The Major’s gingery horny fingers

      Are gathering the muddled dove

      From the labrador’s black lips.

      A wing peaks up at a wrong angle, a pink foot reaches

      deeply for safe earth.

      Startlingly crimson and living

      Blood hangs under his knuckles.

      And the bird’s head rides alert, as if on a tree-top,

      A liquid-soft blue head floating erect, as the eye gimbals

      And the Major presents it, an offering,

      To his wife.

      His machine laughter

      Unconnected to any nerve

      Is like the flame her face shrivels from.

      Now he offers it to the priest

      As the meaning of his grin, which is like the grin of a patient

      After a mouth-operation.

      Lumb’s heavy hostile eye

      Weighs what is ill-hidden.

      The Major’s carapaced fingers and his mask

      Of military utility

      Contort together, and the dove erupts underdown –

      Tiny puffs and squirts.

      He tosses it cartwheeling to Lumb

      Who catches it

      As if to save it, and clasps it to him

      As if to protect it

      Feeling its hard-core heat

      And drinking its last cramping convulsions

      Into the strength of his grip.

      The Major calls his dog and stalks past these two, as on

      matters of higher command.

      He leaves them

      Under the breathing and trembling of the trees

      Marooned

      In the vacuum of his shot.

      The dove’s head, on its mauled neck,

      Dangles like a fob,

      Squandering its ruby unstoppably

      Into the sterile gravel.

      A mile away

      Joe Garten, petty poacher and scrounger, in steep woodland, drives his narrow-bladed spade downward, deepening his furrowed concentration. His bowed shoulders jerk between the crumpled feet of gigantic beeches. His brow shines and his yellow hair flings, in a slant mist of bluebells. His moist eighteen year-old palms and fingers are jarred hot and again jarred, against perverse roots and sudden flints, as he follows his brown ferret cord down

      Towards muffled subterranean

      Thudding and squeals.

      But now he comes weightlessly upright, hearing the wind-

      carried bok of a twelve-bore.

      He pinpoints it. He identifies it. He judges Hagen has shot a woodpigeon on his morning walk. Every frond of the wood listens with him.

      His sweat glints, falling into the excavation. And as he listens

      A new presence, like a press of wind, fills up the air, a thickening vibration. An echoing yawn of roar through all the mass of leaves. It pours down the sunken road, ten yards below him, among coiled, piling beech roots. And the narrow, tree-choked valley is suddenly alert, alarmed, as the sound ceases. Beside the little bridge in the bottom of the wood, a white Ford Cortina has come to rest in the layby.

      Garten rises in his hole, peering. Mrs Westlake, the doctor’s wife, winds down her window, throws out a spent match, puffs smoke, relaxes tensely, waits.

      The wood creeps rustling back. The million whispering busyness of the fronds, which seemed to have hesitated, start up their stitchwork, with clicking of stems and all the tiny excitements of their materials.

      Garten half-lies, watching the white fox-fine profile, under dark hair, in the car window. Her stillness holds him. He eases his elbows and knees, hunching gently to his attentiveness, as to a rifle. His eyes, among bluebells and baby bracken, are circles of animal clarity, not yet come clear of their innocence.

      Clouds slide off the sun. The trees stretch, stirring their tops. A thrush hones and brandishes its echoes down the long aisles, in the emerald light, as if it sang in an empty cathedral. Shrews storm through the undergrowth. Hover-flies move to centre, angle their whines, dazzle across the sunshafts. The humus lifts and sweats.

      Garten’s eyes are quiet, like a hunter’s, watching the game feed closer. His heart deepens its beat, expectant.

      His fantasy agitates, richly, monotonously, around the cool drawn features of Mrs Westlake, the high china cheekbone, the dark mouth. A tentacle of her cigarette smoke touches his nostril, and hangs, in the lit woodland.

      He fastens himself to her, as if to a magnification, fading from himself, like a motionless lizard.

      One, two, three cigarettes. In the bird-ringing peace.

      Pauline Hagen

      Has turned back from the drive gate.

      A leaf-bordered blankness

      Like the suck of a precipice

      Draws her along the bleak sweep of drive

      Towards the white house.

      Her legs move, as if to remain still were even more futile.

      She looks upward

      Into the open hanging underbellies of the trees

      As if those puzzles held something from her.

      As she walks

      She feels too present, too tall, too vivid.

      The level sprawl of world

      Draws away tinily, in every direction.

      It separates itself from her exposure.

      She looks down

      At the chaotic gravel.

      Her eyes claw at the gravel.

      Something in her is preparing a scream, which she dare

      not utter.

      Her legs carry her towards the house.

      Twitchings jerk her eyelid, her cheek,

      A tugging tightens her brow, so she has to rub her face in

      her hands.

      Something overpowering

      Like an unmanageable horse, a sudden wild bulk

      Starts rearing and wheeling away, to one side then to the

      other

      As if it would break out of her.

      She halts, balancing giddily.

      She has closed her eyes

      Where Lumb is still with her

      His presence strays all over her body, like a flame on oil,

      His after-nearness, the after-caress of his voice

      As if she breathed inside the silk of his nearness.

      At the drive’s edge, she kneels among bluebells.

      She shuts her eyes more tightly.

      The bunching beast-cry inside her shudders to be let out.

      She folds her arms tightly

      Over this rending,

      She bends low, her face closes more tightly.

      Her moan barely reaches the nearest tree.

      She is gouging the leaf-mould,

      She is anointing her face w
    ith it.

      She wants to rub her whole body with it.

      She is wringing the bunched stems of squeaking spermy

      bluebells

      And anointing her face.

      Lumb’s glance keeps glimpsing through her body

      Churning tracks of soft phosphorescence

      Like the first sweaty wafts of a sickness.

      She wants to press her face into the soil, into the moist

      mould,

      And scream straight downward, into earth-stone darkness.

      She cannot get far enough down, or near enough.

      She hauls herself to her feet, towering

      And walks

      And enters the still house.

      Rooms retreat.

      A march of right angles. Barren perspectives

      Cluttered with artefacts, in a cold shine.

      Icebergs of taste, spacing and repose.

      The rooms circle her slowly, like a malevolence.

      She feels weirdly oppressed.

      She remembers

      A shadow-cleft redstone desert

      At evening.

      The carpet’s edge. The parquet.

      The door-knob’s cut glass.

      She observes these with new fear.

      The kitchen’s magenta tiles. The blue Aga.

      It is her fifteen years of marriage

      Watching her, strange-faced, like a jury.

      Coffee from silver, to disarm some minutes.

      Leaning against the bar of the stove

      She meditates blankly,

      Fixedly.

      She is like the eye of a spirit level

      Intent

      On earth’s poles, the sun’s pull, the moon’s imbalance.

      A charioteer, for these moments,

      On some rocking perimeter.

     


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