Python: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Me: You know what? You really ARE a dad. You’ve got those dad jokes down to a science.
Me: What happened to the bunny?
Python: The bunny “doesn’t have a cool color-changing option, Dad. What if I get bored and don’t want it anymore?”
Python: So, hermit crabs it is!
Python: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Me: How many shells did you buy?!
Python: Quite a few. I never in my life thought I’d be a grandparent to crabs, but here I am.
Me: Congrats…I think.
Me: I’m also slightly sad you didn’t get a bunny.
Python: Wellllll…
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Python: I RESCUED a bunny.
Me: What’s its name?
Me: Can I name him/her?!
Python: No. I don’t trust you.
Me: Well, you should. I have a great name suggestion.
Python: For some reason, I doubt that.
Me: Is it a boy or a girl?
Python: A girl.
Me: Thumbelina Bruce Wayne Cross
Python: You’re kidding.
Me: …
Python: No. HELL NO.
Python: Also, what in the actual fuck kind of name is that?
Me: I don’t know. Thumbelina is cute and Bruce Wayne is Batman. Why wouldn’t you want to name your pet after Batman? He’s Batman!
Me: Come on, Robbie. Just do it.
Python: No!
Me: What were you going to name her?
Python: Sure as hell not Thumbelina Bruce Wayne!
Me: Spoilsport.
Python: I regret nothing.
Python: I think it’s my turn to hate you.
Me: You named her Thumbelina Bruce Wayne, didn’t you?
Python: It just fits her so well.
Me: Someone just took one step closer to making our “bang plan” happen.
Python: For real? Shit. I’ll go buy ten bunnies and you can name them anything you want! Spanky, Sparky, Spidey, Tinker Bell! Whatever!
Python: Can I just say I enjoy the fact that a bunny is what’s caused this? We’ll be banging like rabbits in no time.
Me: And just like that, one step back. Don’t be a creeper, Robbie.
Python: I take it back!
Me: Weird. As I recall, we’re operating firmly under the “no take-backs” rule.
Python: I hate my mouth sometimes. It just runs and runs and I forget that the things it says can come back to bite me in the ass.
Python: Fine. You win this round.
Me: We can call it a draw.