therapy his fault.” I sniff and wipe my nose on my sleeve.
“Oh dear. Gabe mentioned something like this
would happen.” She grabs some tissues from the corner
counter and hands them to me.
“What? I don’t understand.”
“He mentioned something like this may happen. It
happened to him.”
“Why didn’t he tell me?” I sob into my hand.
“He, um, didn’t want to scare you away from the
rapist.” She smirks.
“If I would have known, I could have been more
prepared, maybe. God, I’m a mess!”
“Do you want me to call him, he might be able to better explain than me.” She asks grabbing her phone as I
nod my head.
I’m still sobbing into my hands as the kitchen door
opens and Gabe rushes in. He pulls me into his arms and
rocks me a little.
“Unk Gabe? Is aun Nessa kay?” Stella’s little voice
breaks the silence in the kitchen.
I can feel him nod. “Yeah baby girl. She’s going to
be fine.”
“If she has a owie, she can has one of my princess
Band-Aids.”
I peek at her and force a smile as I pull away from
Gabe slightly. “I’m okay, thank you Stella.” I say, my voice shaking.
Gabe’s arms tighten around me; he looks at his sister
and thanks her quietly as he leads me out of the house. We walk together into the house next door and directly to the couch. We sit down and he pulls me over on top of his lap.
“When I started going to Pete, I thought that going
to see a shrink was stupid and nothing would come out of it, I found out that even though it didn’t seem like anything was happening, something was and ultimately, I got to where I am imagining you are today. After that session, I went for a drive and sat at Windansea for probably five hours, while I cried and pummeled my fist into the passenger seat of the
jeep.”
“No wonder it’s so comfortable.” I smirk.
“Exactly. I was embarrassed about going to a shrink for one, then two for crying. At this point, neither you nor Mindy knew about my therapy or the background of why I
left France. I couldn’t just come back to the house looking like I did. I sat at the beach and thought about my past, about my guilt surrounding my feelings and I mourned both of the people that I lost. I thought about my present, with you and my family. Then I thought about my future and how I
couldn’t see it holding anything different than with you in it.”
“Do you still feel it?”
“What?” He asks.
“The guilt, over mourning your friend over your
ex?”
“Sometimes, but I did mourn her just in a different
way. It wasn’t the same way that I mourn for Misha. The
person that she was, but not the relationship as I learned later. She was a nice person, a little flamboyant at times, but overall she had compassion and strength. That is the person that I mourn.”
“I realized today that after my parents left, I felt guilt for not being here, when I lived in Arizona, I rarely made the 7 hour drive back here. I took my parents and my brother for granted, assuming that they would always be here. But now
they’re not. I think that you getting the chance to do
something that wasn’t somewhere you originally settled on
was you taking those opportunities for granted, I know you aren’t settling, but a part of me was just thinking that you would feel like I held you back from accomplishing
something big elsewhere.” He opens his mouth to interject
and I put my hand over his mouth to stop him. “I know that’s
not what happened in the grand scheme of things, but it could just be possible that may take some time to go away. I love you Gabe, there’s no question about that, but there’s a part of me that’s cracked and super glue is only holding me together.”
“We’re all cracked baby.” He says.
“Both good cracked eggs.”
We settled in for the night, I excused myself to take
a bath while Gabe had some project that he was working on
for work. My body felt exhausted and my eyes were sore
from crying so much that after my bath, I retreated to the bedroom and fell asleep. I barely felt Gabe sliding into bed several hours later, kissing me on the cheek and telling me he loved me.
E P I L O G U E
Epilogue
“Mom, Dad, Bry. Hi. It’s me, Vanessa. I know that I
haven’t come to see you guys since the service; I guess that it’s just something that I’ve been avoiding, not feeling
much. I miss you guys too, that’s not the reasoning though, I just couldn’t, or wouldn’t. Honestly, I have no real good reason. I love you guys with everything that I’m made of,
every atom. I haven’t been ready to face you guys because I wasn’t coming to grips with what happened and then what
will be missing out of my life. You see, I met someone.
Yeah laugh it up Bry. I met someone and he’s great, amazing even. He’s great and you guys would adore him. He’s well,
he’s helped piece me back together after everything that’s happened. Because of him, I’m able to stand here
confidently today; I’ve been seeing a therapist who has
helped me immensely with everything that I was bottling up.
I’ve got clarity of everything and I just wish that I was
around more for you guys. I felt guilt for not being as
assessable to you guys, or for not visiting as often as I could and then you were all gone. That’s why I avoided coming
here, coming to talk to you guys, or just not acknowledging anything other than the fact you guys weren’t around
anymore. So my therapist, he helped me. And Gabe, he helped me. Back to Gabe, we’ve moved fast in our
relationship, some could say we moved backwards. We live
together, in our house, well originally your house, but it’s now our house. And I’m sorry guys, but we got rid of a lot of your stuff, I donated it, so don’t worry mom, it’s hopefully going to someone who would need it. Anyways, it’s weird,
but I officially moved everything out of my old room and
I’m um, living in your room. It was weird at first, but you know we have to make it ours. God, I’m rambling on. So, I
love him, I really do. I wish you all were here so you can meet him. I guess, in a way you guys may be watching over
me and already have, in that case keep your eyes closed
during those private moments. Um, yeah sorry not sorry for changing the house up a little, we needed to modern it up a little, put our own touch on it. Also, for having sex all over the house, I guess we’ve gotten carried away, call it
suppressed years of being too afraid in high school to bring boys inside the house for prolonged periods of times.
Anyways, I’m going to go, I promise to visit more. I love
you guys.”
I stood up from my crouching position in front of
their gravestones, and ran my hand over the top of all three. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and turn back to the car
where Gabe is leaning against the hood of the car waiting for me. He opens his arms open to me as I near with a smile on his face. He kisses my cheek lightly and holds me against
him tightly.
“You mind if I go ad introduce myself?” He asks.
“Seriously?” I chuckle.
“Yeah, I’m defiling their daughter, living in sin in their home, I think I should properly introduce myself.” He shrugs.
“If you insist. Y
ou want me to come?”
“Nah. You’ve said your piece, let me go and say
mine. I don’t want to embarrass myself too much in front of you more than I already do.” He kisses my cheek and then
moves around me. I take his place against the car and mimic the stance that he was in while waiting for me.
I watched him from a distance, as he stood in front
of my family. He gestured wildly with his hands and then
threw his head back with laughter. I’m unsure how long I
watched him speaking to them, but it warmed something
inside me. He rapped on each gravestone before smoothing
his hand over each the same way that I did and then walked back in my direction.
I observed him as he walked over to me, his hands in
his pockets, and his head down watching his feet walk across the manicured lawn. His hair is getting a little longer on top than when we met, and he hasn’t shaven in a few days, the
5’O'Clock shadow looking extremely sexy on him,
especially when he smirks and those dimples of his begs for me to touch him. He looks up slowly, his eyes meeting mine, and his smile widens. He licks his lips and comes to a stop in front of me.
“Did the conversation go well?” I ask as he grabs
both my hands in his.
“It did. I think I made a good impression, your
brother though, I may have to work on that relationship a
little bit.” He deadpans.
“I’m glad. You ready to go?” I ask pushing off the car.
“Actually, not yet.” He lets go of my hand, and
suddenly the air around us is vacuumed up as he lowers
himself down onto the ground, on one knee.
“Gabe?” I ask.
“Babe, I have one question that I need to ask you, a
very important question.” His hand comes out of his pocket and between his fingers is a gorgeous ring. He holds it out to me and takes a very deep breath. I see his hand is slightly shaking. “Will you be my wife?”
I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. Tears are
forming and I can feel my face getting flushed. I pull my
hand away and a smile is placed on my face, I’m practically jumping out of my skin and bouncing on my toes as I clap
my hands together.
“Yes?”
“Yes? Like you’re asking me, yes or yes you will
marry me?”
“Yes! I will marry you!” I squeak.
“You’ll marry me?”
“Yeah, I’ll marry you.”
“For reals?”
“For reals.”
He stands and lifts me off my feet and twirls me around all while kissing me and laughing at the same time.
“Sorry to propose in a cemetery, but I needed to ask
as soon as I got the permission from your dad.”
“Best proposal I’ve ever had.”
“Wait, the best? How many times have you been
proposed to?” He asks.
“Just this once, but I’ve seen it done on TV a lot.” I
smirk, linking hands with my fiancé… my fiancé.
.::The End::
D I S C O V E R O T H E R T I T L E S B Y
T A R R A H A N D E R S
The Friends Zone
Available at:
Barnes & Noble/ Nook
Amazon/KindleUnlimited
iBooks
Kobo
Google Play/Google
Goodreads
The Crash Zone
Available at:
Barnes & Noble/ Nook
Amazon/KindleUnlimited
iBooks
Kobo
Google Play/Google
Goodreads
The Office Zone
Available at:
Barnes & Noble/ Nook
Amazon/KindleUnlimited
iBooks
Kobo
Google Play/Google
Goodread
Frozen Over
Available at:
Amazon/KindleUnlimited
Barnes and Noble
A B O U T T H E A U T H O R
I hate describing myself or introducing myself. But here we go.
My name is Tarrah. Hi *Waves* Nice to meet ya!
I grew up in Northern California with two little sisters who were always getting into my things. I started early with writing poetry and short stories. Then, I decided I wanted to be a marine biologist until I realized how much math and science was involved.
Then I went back to writing. I entered my poems in the contests you would see in Highlights Children’s Magazine and to literary contests, I did have a few supposedly published, but I never saw the proof.
My day job consists of being a social worker and housing the homeless like a superhero in street clothes, I also dabble in photography during the later parts of the year. When I’m not writing, I’m reading, doing things with the kids, creating a ‘honey-do list’ for my hubby, watching anything with Zombies and GOT , or watching Baseball.
I am a wife, a mama, a social worker, photographer and a storyteller
When I am not busy chasing around my 2.5 year old, I find the time to just be... and to just be is to do what you love doing.
I currently live in San Diego with my loving husband, only level is "GO!" toddler, a pre-tween, and our two fur babies who meow.
Fun Facts about me:
* If I was an animal, I would be an elephant, but my favorite animal is a monkey.
* I have no favorite color, it changes from season to season, right now its teal!
* If I had it my way, I'd never wear socks or closed toe shoes!
*I'm a SF Giants fan through and through!
*I am a lover for Instagram - Come follow me: @tarrahanders
*I've never met a cupcake that I didn't like!
*Tarrah isn't my real name
*My husband finally learned that I was an author, he mirrored the movie Lethal Weapon 4 after I told him.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/tarrahanders
Like me on Facebook: http://facebook.com/tarrahanders
Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/tarrahanders
Check out my Website: http://tarrahanders.com/
Link with me on Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/Tarrah_Anders
T H A N K Y O U … . .
for reading New Year, New You.
If you enjoyed it, won’t you please take a moment to leave me a review at your favorite retailer and follow me on social media. I love hearing from you all, so please don’t be shy!
Thanks!
Tarrah Anders
Table of Contents
Prologue
Epilogue
Prologue ................................................................................1
One........................................................................................3
Two......................................................................................11
Three ...................................................................................19
Four .....................................................................................24
Five ......................................................................................29
Six ........................................................................................32
Seven...................................................................................36
Eight ....................................................................................43
Nine .....................................................................................46
Ten.......................................................................................52
Eleven.......................................
...........................................60
Twelve .................................................................................65
Thirteen...............................................................................71
Fourteen..............................................................................76
Fifteen .................................................................................82
Sixteen.................................................................................89
Seventeen............................................................................93
Eighteen ............................................................................101
Nineteen............................................................................108
Twenty...............................................................................113
Twenty-One.......................................................................122
Twenty-Two.......................................................................127
Twenty-Three ....................................................................134
Twenty-Four ......................................................................140
Twenty-Five.......................................................................146
Twenty-Six.........................................................................155
Epilogue.............................................................................162