They sit and watch the sea.
Monster looks her over surreptitiously.
Monster
Nice view.
Monster
Canary
Monster
Nice dress.
Monster
Canary
Monster
Come here often?
Canary
Monster
Canary
Monster
Canary
You dont look familiar.
Monster
Im not. Im new. New in town.
Canary
Towns that way. About a mile.
Monster
Im in no hurry to see it. Its nice here. The sea. The air.
The sun.
Canary
The quiet.
Monster
Right.
Canary
Monster
Canary
Monster
Monster
Whatcha reading?
Canary
Words.
(Rest)
Wow. Yr arm. Thats some birthmark.
Monster
Its a scar. From a long time ago.
Canary
Does it hurt?
Monster
It did. Not no more.
(Rest)
I was in prison.
Canary
Prison?
Monster
Years ago. Someone cut me. It hurt at first. Not no more.
Monster
Canary
Monster
I heard this was a good place to meet women. They told the truth cause here you are.
(Rest)
Can I kiss you?
Canary
My lovers rich. He owns exclusive rights to me.
Monster
Oh.
Canary
Yeah.
(Rest)
Yr cute. Good luck.
She goes on her way. He watches her go.
SCENE 5
In the tavern. Scribe and Butcher.
Butcher
You drunk? Scribe?
Scribe
What.
Butcher
You drunk?
Scribe
Yeah.
Butcher
You been drunk all week.
Scribe
Yeah.
Butcher
You got someone writing in yr stead?
Scribe
Nope.
Butcher
Scribe
Scribe
You know when I first learned to write?
Butcher
When you were 3 years old.
Scribe
Howd you know that?
Butcher
Ive known you all yr life.
Scribe
We grew up together, you and me. Next door neighbors. In the hills.
Butcher
Lets get you home.
Scribe
Dad wanted me to make something of myself. So he stood over me with a stick. I still got the welts, well, the scars of the welts.
(Rest)
Perfectly formed letters at 3 years old. The most beautiful alphabet you ever seen. You seen it, Butcher, right? You seen it, right? I got it hanging —
Butcher
On the wall in yr shop. Lets go. You can show it to me.
Scribe
Naw.
Butcher
Theres lots of people wanting writing done and yr shops closed. Thats bad business.
Scribe
Butcher. It took me a whole week to get this drunk. Dont ruin it. Toast.
Scribe toasts and drinks all by himself.
3 Hunters come in.
First Hunter
I shoulda gotten his balls! I shoulda gotten his balls! Im telling you I shoulda gotten his balls!
Second Hunter
You werent the first to eye him.
First Hunter
I didnt eye him first but I was the first to say: “There he is!”
Third Hunter
“There he is,” so what!? Harry was pointing right at him.
We all knew where he was.
First Hunter
But my saying it out loud alerted the dogs.
Second Hunter
You have a point.
Third Hunter
Harrys pointing alerted the dogs. When he pointed they all jerked their heads up in the air.
Second Hunter
But they didnt charge till Hank said: “There he is.”
First Hunter
Which means I shoulda got the bastard convicts balls.
Third Hunter
You got the bastards feet. Thats second place. Feet arent so bad.
First Hunter
I guess.
(Rest)
They should let us keep the heads.
Second Hunter
Then howd we prove we’d caught anything?
First Hunter
You got a point.
(Rest)
Hey, Butcher!
Butcher
Hey, Hank. Hal. Harv.
First Hunter
Scribe?
Butcher
Loaded.
Third Hunter
All I got was a finger. Off the left hand. My wife thinks Im a loser.
Second Hunter
What can you do.
First Hunter
He screamed good, though didnt he?
Third Hunter
I can still hear it in my head. When Homer put the coals in his chest—
Second Hunter
“Why you doing this to me why you doing this to me?!” he was screaming. Like he didnt know us Hunters was gonna be on his trail when he escaped.
First Hunter
He was a nobody. Wish he’d been a famous convict.
The prizes woulda been worth more and the pay woulda been better.
Second Hunter
One of my dogs broke its leg or something.
Third Hunter
I’ll take a look at it later.
Second Hunter
I’d appreciate it.
They sing the “The Hunters Creed”:
Hunters
We hunt
But we do
Not
Eat what we catch.
Thatd be a little much
Dontcha think?
First Hunter
Drinks on me.
He goes and gets a bottle.
Second Hunter
Hows business?
Butcher
Like yours. Lots of work and nothing to show. The Knife Catalog came this morning.
Third Hunter
Bring it over.
First Hunter
Word is they had a convict escape up north two nights ago. Someone wholl bring a good price too. “Monster” they call him. “Monster!” Hes pure evil. Done everything bad there is to do. Heres the paper, give it a read.
Third Hunter
Murder, necrophilia, sodomy, bestiality, pedophilia, armed robbery, petty theft, embezzlement, diddling in public, cannibalism—
Second Hunter
Whew.
First Hunter
Makes you sick, dont it?
Second Hunter
Yeah.
First Hunter
“Monster!”
Third Hunter
Just our luck though. He got out up north, we wont have a chance at spotting him down here.
Butcher
Look at that blade Hank.
First Hunter
Thats some blade.
Second Hunter
Maybe the convictll come down here. All them boats we got going to Europe. Maybe the convict wants to go to Europe.
Third Hunter
He wont be wanting to go to Europe. He’ll be wanting to hide in the hills. In the northern hills.
First Hunter
“Monster!” Ha!
Second Hunter
Shit thats some blade Butcher.
Butcher
Show that to a pig and its skinll go Red Sea just at the sight of it.
Second Hunter
Wow.
Third Hunter
Flip to the back, lets see whats on sale.
First Hunter
I bet “Monster” comes down here.
Second Hunter
First Hunter
How much you got?
Second Hunter digs through his pockets counting his money. Hester comes in. She stands off to the side, a good distance from them, looking through the crowd for the Scribe.
Second Hunter
I got 12 coins. 12 coins says he aint coming.
Hunters
Hester
Hunters
Hester
I come in for the Scribe. He aint been at his stand all week. Scribe?
Third Hunter
Wait for him outside. Yr stinking up the place.
Hester
Ive been waiting. Hey, Scribe, I got an important letter you gotta write.
Second Hunter
Tough luck, Stinky.
First Hunter
Cover up yr A or something.
Hester
I cant its against the law.
Third Hunter
Pweeeeeeewwww!
Butcher
Harv, leave her be.
First Hunter
Shes a babykiller. Thats what she is.
Hester
Yr daughters been a customer of mine. More than once.
First Hunter
Shut yr trap!
Hester
Le doe-dunk eyesee Frahla ehle dunk sehh Frahla ah ma, Mister Hunter.
Second Hunter
Thats private family business. I’ll smash yr face for blabbing that!
Butcher
Hal! Hey! You got better things to do than hit a woman.
Second Hunter
Butcher
First Hunter
Didnt know you spoke TALK.
Second Hunter
Just enough to get by.
First Hunter
My wife wants me to learn it but I say no way. Keep that stuff private. Like it should be. Thats what I say.
Second Hunter
Butcher
Third Hunter
10 coins says the convictll come our way. Another 3 says I’ll sight him first.
First Hunter
Drinks on me!
Butcher
Come on, Scribe. You got work to do.
(Rest)
He’ll get up in a minute.
Hester
I’ll wait outside.
Hester goes outside. Butcher helps Scribe to his feet. The Hunters sing their song again:
Hunters
We hunt
But we do
Not
Eat what we catch.
Thatd be a little much
Dontcha think?
SCENE 6
Hester walks along the street with her freshly written letter.
Hester
“Darling Son,” it says. “Its spring again and so Im outside scrubbing the marble walk. Every day I wake at dawn and scrub. The same walkway Ive scrubbed every spring since we went to work for them. They arent as mean as when we worked here together. Ive got plenty to eat and hope you do too. Love, Ma.” Wish I had enough coins to include more. Well. This is good enough. Next year we’ll be picnicing. We’ll have meat and cheese and wine and bread and apples.
(Rest)
No shame in telling a lie. “I still work for the Rich People.” Ha! Better to lie than to have him ashamed cause his mothers a babykiller.
(Rest)
“Darling Son!” it says, “Its spring again and so Im—”
The First Lady passes by.
She tries to dodge Hester but Hester confronts her.
Hester
First Lady
Hester
Bitch.
First Lady
Excuse me.
Hester
Bitch. I hear hes sending you away! You deserve it!
The First Lady hurries on her way as Hester shouts curses at her.
Hester
Suptah nekkie frokrisp Chung-chung! Noonka Bleehc tryohla die. Noonka! Grope tillie not. Grope say Basket shreck eey grope say winduptrala! Grope sah Tupdom linke die like um die Nassum. Grope sah Ovoweh miss eeh so quaknie! Grope sah Milch shreck eeh naymilch noonkey treben! Noonke!
After spending her anger, Hester pauses to catch her breath and then continues on her way.
SCENE 7
The Mayor fully dressed. Canary in her underwear.
Mayor takes off his clothes. Canary angrily gets dressed.
Mayor gets dressed.
Mayor
Yr sore.
Canary
Im not sore.
Mayor
Good. Get naked.
She takes off her clothes.
As he gets partly undressed, she gets partly dressed.
Canary
Mayor
Canary
I’d like a ring. A ring aint too much to ask.
Mayor
I told her to go to the country but she wont go. She knows whats up.
Canary
Ring Ring! Ring Ring!
(Rest)
Yr tired of me.
Mayor
(Rest)
Planning a murder takes a lot of thought. Shes got to be wiped out just right so that the blame falls on some nobody and not at all on me or my office. Ive got to be kept in the clear.
Canary
Have one of yr lieutenants do it. Or a sniper. I’ll do it if you want.
Mayor
You would?
Canary
One of yr lieutenants would make it more—professional.
Mayor
Yr right.
Canary
She’ll be dead. Yll weep at her funeral. Yll get all her money. Yll marry me.
Mayor
My wife will die a tragic death. I will stand like the soldier that I am as they put her in the deep dark ground. My chest will heave in sadness but no tears will fall. I am their soldier-Mayor. Not a tear will fall. She will have left me all her money. I will hang my head and the people will want me to lift my head up. The people will demand that I remarry.
(Rest)
They will demand that I remarry a woman of a—of a certain background. My heart will be split in two. Each night with my new wife I will dream of you. I am their humble civil servant. I cannot let them down.
Canary
You will let them down by replacing one kaltie Bleehc with another.
Mayor
As their Mayor Im prepared to sacrifice my pleasure.
Besides. Nothing between us will change. I’ll be remarried.
And in good time I’ll be a father, so I’ll be more relaxed.
But nothing between us will change.
Canary
You said youd marry me.
(Rest)
You gave your word.
(Rest)
I love you.
Mayor
I have the future of my country to consider.
Canary
You are the Mayor they are the people. You are the shepherd they are the sheep. You set the clock you style the fashion you define the taste.
Mayor
They elected me—
Canary
To rule for a hundred thousand years.
Mayor
How many days is that? How many hours how many minutes.
Canary
How many kisses?
(Rest)
Marry me.
(Rest)
Im begging on my knees.
Mayor
Canary
Mayor
Canary
Mayor
Heres some gold.
Mayor
Canary
Mayor
“Wife,” “Mistress,” what does it matter? Take the gold. Buy something nice.
He gives her several gold coins.
Canary
Sweetheart.
Mayor
Good girl.
A gentle moment then she steps away.
She sings “Gilded Cage”:
Canary
I dreamed I met a lioness
She once lived in the wild
She once hunted for all her food
She once was so self-styled
She once roamed anywhere she pleased
She once was free and brave
But in my dream she spoke to me
From a gorgeous gilded cage.
Her gilded cage was solid gold
The bars shone like sunshine
She’d gone in there all on her own
No one had forced her
This time.
“Freedom,” she said, “aint free at all.
Its price: a heavy wage
And when you find how much your freedom costs
You just may give it up
For a gorgeous gilded cage.”
SCENE 8
That park bench in the middle of nowhere overlooking the sea. The First Lady sits there crying.
After a moment Monster comes by.
He looks her over surreptitiously then sits and watches the sea.
She notices him and composes herself.
Monster
First Lady
Monster
Nice view.
Monster
First Lady
Monster
Nice dress.
Monster
First Lady
Monster
Come here often?
First Lady
Monster
First Lady
Monster
First Lady
Im sad.
Monster
Im not.
(Rest)