* * * *
“For the love of Pete, Bayleigh. Sit down before you fall down.”
Bayleigh rolled her eyes. If there was one thing she could always count on, it was for Tasha
to be dramatic. “I’m fine, Tasha.”
Tasha shot her a disbelieving look. “Tell it to someone who will believe it.”
Bayleigh remained silent. She wouldn’t even bother to deny how miserable she felt without
Dane. It had been two-in-a-half weeks since she told Dane she needed space. Unfortunately, she
hadn’t come any closer to reconciling her feelings either. If anything she had succeeded in causing
herself more inner turmoil.
Bayleigh was happy her sister had come over to have dinner with her. Very rarely did she
and her sister get together during the week because they both had busy lives. Yet, her sister had been
her champion lately. Keeping her from going completely over the brink of insanity.
In some ways she wished she could be like her sister. Her relationship with Jarvis seemed to
be going well. Married life agreed with both of them. She was happy her sister seemed to have found
the man she wanted and had a life she loved. Tasha looked radiant as she flipped their grilled
chicken with tongs. Bayleigh turned her attention to the mixed vegetables she was working on. They
were almost done and the French bread would be ready soon.
Several minutes later, they sat down at the dinner table. Bayleigh stared across the table at
her sister. “I hope Jarvis doesn’t mind not having you at home for dinner.”
Her sister wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “I plan to make it up to him later on tonight.”
Bayleigh laughed and shook her head. “Well, it’s obvious the two of you are still in your
honeymoon phase.”
“I don’t ever plan on leaving it.”
They ate in silence for a few moments before Bayleigh cleared her throat. “So, how is school
going?”
Tasha laughed. “I’m ready for summer break but then again, I’ll be teaching summer school,
so I don’t know why.”
“Because you love teaching and you love your students. It is also the reason you earned
teacher of the year.”
“Thank you. It means a lot to me. But could you have ever imagined me being a teacher?”
“Yes I could. You can relate to them in a way most people can’t.”
Tasha sighed. “I know. Although there are days when I feel like I’m beating my head against
a wall.”
“Then you must be a sadist,” Bayleigh teased. “You keep going back for more.”
“You know me. I believe in torturing myself, the same way you do.”
Bayleigh groaned. “Tasha.”
Her younger sister shrugged. “Did you think I was going to continue to ignore the situation
while you look the way that you do?”
Bayleigh exhaled. “I’m not ignoring the situation. I’m trying to figure everything out. Work
everything out. I don’t want my life to be meaningless. Unfulfilling.”
Tasha’s eyes widened with surprise. “What? How in the world could you ever figure your life
to be meaningless and unfulfilling?
You have a family who loves you, a great education, wonder career, great friends—”
“And a love life in constant shambles,” Bayleigh finished.
“Because you allow it to be,” Tasha responded softly.
Bayleigh remained silent. What could she say? Nothing. Picking up her fork, she took a bit
of chicken and discovered she might as well be eating sawdust. Her sister was a good cook but food
didn’t taste the same when she was stressed.
“What do you think about the term soul mate?”
Bayleigh gasped and tried not to choke. “You play dirty, Tasha.”
Tasha winked at her. “Just doing what I have to do, to get you to come around before you
lose a good man. Believe me, I have been where you are but I must say you look worse than I did.”
Leave it to her sister to be brutally honest. Dane was giving her all the space she needed. He
didn’t call her, hardly talked to her. At work he greeted her like normal. Talked to her when work
required for him to. But that was it. Dane no longer went to lunch with her. No longer teased or
joked with her. In other words, he was doing exactly as she asked and she hated him for it.
Bayleigh also loved him for it. This was hard on him as well but he wasn’t pushing her. She
missed it. She missed him. Looking over at her sister, she sighed. “What are you saying, Tasha, that
Dane is my soul mate?”
Tasha gave her a perplexed look. “I’m surprised you have to ask. I’ve seen you and Dane
together long enough to know there is no other for you.”
Bayleigh smiled. “You might be right. When I opened up and allowed myself to get to know
him, something clicked. He brought out a side of me I didn’t know existed. I wasn’t nervous around
him, like I can be with other men.”
“You don’t say?”
Bayleigh ignored Tasha’s sarcasm. “I remember once I started talking, I couldn’t stop. We
had a lot in common. Work, out families, books, education, you name it. I valued our friendship. I
still do. I just hate to think I messed it up with sex.”
Tasha frowned. “How could you mess it up with sex?”
Bayleigh sighed. “Because sex wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to be working
on out project for work. Then we had dinner. The next thing I know I was in bed with him. We just
got caught up in the moment.”
“And it has been Heaven ever since,” Tasha teased.
“Tasha, I’m being serious here.”
Tasha’s expression became serious. “So am I. What are you running from, Bayleigh—besides
happiness?”
Bayleigh groaned. “Tasha, please. I’m trying to talk this out. Work with me.”
Tasha looked at her with sympathy. “Talk. I’m listening.”
“When my friendship with Dane started, I knew I found a good friend. A man I could trust
with my secrets, fears, more importantly he trusted me in return. So it threw me off when I found
out he had romantic feelings for me.”
Tasha frowned. “Why, Bayleigh?”
Bayleigh smiled. “I would have to be blind not to notice how cute he was. What woman
wouldn’t be attracted to him? But I was never tempted to act upon it. I just wrote it off as him being
a man, and me a woman. To know he was having the same inner struggle—”
Bayleigh released a pent up breath. “Well I was dumbfounded. I mean what could Dane see
in a woman like me?”
Tasha dropped her fork. “What do you mean a woman like you? There is nothing wrong
with you. You’re a good person, you’re smart, and you’re beautiful. Any man would be lucky to be
with you.”
Bayleigh looked at her sister and smiled. “Your opinion is slightly biased don’t you think?”
Tasha gave her a hard look. “No, I don’t. Not at all. Bayleigh, you gave finally found a guy
who isn’t a pompous ass. He sees beyond the external crap. Dane took the time to get to know
you.”
Tasha smiled. “He has protected you, taken care of you, most importantly, made you feel
like a woman, when other jerks have done the complete opposite.”
Tasha paused taking a sip of her tea. “Don’t get me wrong, Bayleigh. Love requires sacrifice
sometimes. It is about give and take. Not like it was with Erwin, when all he did was
take.”
Tasha was right. It was no secret that her relationship with Erwin had been damaging to her
self-esteem. In several ways she had loss her independence and self-reliance. While dating Erwin, she
found herself caught up in a domineering, one-sided relationship that stripped her of the little
confidence she had at the time. Her independence had taken a hit as well. By the time she realized
what was going on it had almost been too late. Thankfully he had given her an easy ultimatum to
choose between.
Tasha shook her head. “I still can’t believe Erwin demanded that you quit your job and end
your friendship with Dane.”
Bayleigh sighed. “Yeah, well he did. And when I chose Dane, he ended our relationship.
Believe me, I suffered the consequences.”
Bayleigh still was since her relationship with Dane was at risk again. She wanted to cry.
Tasha sighed. “I hate to think you’re going to let your relationship with Erwin, keep you
from exploring the one you should have with Dane. Because believe me, I have been there and I can
tell you it would be the biggest mistake you will ever make.”
Bayleigh gave her sister a wry smile. “What about Erwin?”
Tasha shook her head. “Still bigger.”
Tasha reached across the table and took Bayleigh’s hand in hers. “Bayleigh, Dane is the
home you have been looking for.”
Bayleigh closed her eyes and dropped her head as her sister’s words sunk in. Tasha knew her
dreams of a husband, children, and the home to go with it all. It was a dream she and her sister
shared. Seeing her sister more than halfway there left her with an empty feeling. Dane had started to
fill that void when she hadn’t been paying attention.
“You have a decision to make, Bayleigh. Dane has stood aside for years. I know the saying
goes ‘anything worth having it worth waiting for’, but in this case your time is running out. Dane is a
patient man, Bayleigh, but he isn’t a saint.”
“I know, Tasha. But I can’t rush this. If I say yes to this, it has to be one hundred percent.
Because I know Dane will want a full commitment. Possibly for a lifetime.”
Tasha laughed. “Did you hear what you just said? Dane is offering you what you want, what
a lot of women can only dream of having.”
Bayleigh groaned. “He’s offering me those things based on the woman he thinks he knows,
Bayleigh the friend, not Bayleigh the woman. What if in a few months he made a mistake and wants
to go back to being friends, or worse?”
Tasha’s jaw went slack. “Are you kidding me, Bayleigh? Dane has done nothing but accept
you for the person you are. He hasn’t tried to change you in any way.” Tasha shook her head. “I
know Erwin tried to break your spirit, make you do things you didn’t want to while giving up things
you enjoyed. Where Erwin tried to smother you, Dane has given you the freedom to be who you
want to be. To be who you are.”
Tasha laughed. “If I’m not mistaken Dane has even encouraged you when you wanted to do
anything. If that isn’t a part of love, I don’t know what is.” Tasha inhaled deeply. “Do you love
Dane, Bayleigh?”
Bayleigh could no longer hold back the tears she had been fighting. “Yes, I love him and I
miss him.”
“And Dane loves you.” Tasha’s voice shook. “And you would be the world’s biggest fool to
let him go. Talk to Dane about your fears he will understand. I’m even willing to be he’ll work with
you through them—together.”
Another tear slipped down Bayleigh’s cheek. She didn’t bother to wipe it away.
Tasha sighed. “Have you thought about how Dane felt through all of this?”
Bayleigh stared at her sister through watery eyes. “What do you mean?”
Tasha released Bayleigh’s hand and sat back. “Dane took a big risk by telling you the truth,
but he thought you were worth it. According to you he has done nothing but make every effort to
make it work between the two of you. You on the other hand have fought him the entire way.”
Tasha gave Bayleigh a small smile. “In a way, I feel sorry for Dane. Because if you keep
acting the way you are, you’re going to hurt him. You already have by stacking the odd against the
two of you.”
Bayleigh wiped her tears away, shaking her head. “No, I haven’t.”
Tasha nodded. “Yes, you have. I lived with you long enough to know how you are. From
day one you have been giving half your effort with Dane because you were banking on the
relationship not working out.”
Bayleigh gasped but Tasha continued. “Don’t bother denying it. You said yourself, you fear
won’t hurt as bad if he leaves.”
Bayleigh hated her sister’s insightfulness. The last thing she needed was more guilt. She
already had enough to last her a lifetime.
“You said you love Dane, Bayleigh. When you love someone, you believe in them. You love
him for who he is. You give your heart freely. Commit yourself for better or worse. The most
important thing is you have faith in him and in your love.”
Bayleigh dropped her face into her hands, her tears flowing freely. “I don’t deserve him,
Tasha.”
Tasha got out of her chair and went around the table to hug Bayleigh. “Oh, Bayleigh. Of
course you do.”
Bayleigh accepted her sister’s embrace, clinging to her like a lifeline. “I’m scared.”
“So was I,” Tasha whispered.
A heartbeat later, she pulled back and Bayleigh looked up at her younger sister. “This wasn’t
supposed to happen,” she whispered.
Tasha smiled. “But it did and you should be happy. A wonderful man cares about you.
Wants to be with you.”
Bayleigh sighed. Her sister was right. So was Dane when he said it was more than good sex
between them. The depth of her feelings for him couldn’t be denied. Nor could she deny his. Dane
had supported her over and over again, even when she didn’t deserve it. No man she had been
involved with had ever gone out of his way for her like Dane had. Here she was about to throw it al
away. What was wrong with her? Dane wasn’t the rich spoiled playboy that Erwin was. Dane was
down-to-earth, gentle and unselfish. Everything she ever wanted in a man. She loved Dane but she
also needed him.
All of it terrified her. Bayleigh was scared of Dane, afraid to give her heart to another man,
so capable of breaking it. She squeezed her eyes shut and an image of his gentle smiling face
appeared before her. God, he made her want to believe, to trust, so badly. How could she let a man
who knew her so well, slip through her fingers?
Dane loved her.
She loved him.
What if it didn’t last?
What if it did?
Surely a man like Dane was worthy of her risking her heart for the possibility of a lifetime of
happiness. Bayleigh smiled. Yes she could. Dane cherished her, with his every gesture, his every
touch, his every word. It wasn’t just passion between them. Bayleigh felt loved. More loved than she
ever felt before.
Becoming intimate with Dane, the man she cared about for so many years, had forced her
eyes open about the feelings she had for him. The unfamiliar sensation th
at swelled inside of her
every time she looked at Dane was proof enough of her feelings for him and how deep they ran. Up
until now she had been missing out on something incredible. The question was did she trust him not
to hurt her? He hadn’t so far.
Did she honestly want to give him up so another woman could wake up with him every
morning? Share his life, his love, his babies?
Definitely not.
Dane was every woman’s fantasy and he would belong to her if she let him. Tasha laughed
drawing her from her inner thoughts.
“It looks like you’ve made up your mind.”
Bayleigh smiled. “Almost. I’m starting to believe we might have a chance.”
Tasha shook her head. “Listen to me. There is no might to it. You have the kind of chance
you have dreamed of. It’s time to stop bailing. I also know you can be the master of avoidance and