ALSO BY STANLEY JOHNSON
FICTION
Gold Drain
Panther Jones for President
The Urbane Guerilla
The Marburg Virus [republished as The Virus]
Tunnel
The Commissioner
The Doomsday Deposit
Dragon River
Icecap [republished as The Warming]
NON-FICTION
Life without Birth: A Journey Through the Third World in Search of the Population Explosion
The Green Revolution
The Population Problem
The Politics of Environment
Pollution Control Policy of the EEC
Antarctica: The Last Great Wilderness
World Population and the United Nations
The Earth Summit: The United Nations Conference on Environment and Development (UNCED)
World Population - Turning the Tide
The Environmental Policy of the European Communities The Politics of Population: Cairo, 1994
Survival: Saving Endangered Migratory Species [co-authored with Robert Vagg]
Where the Wild Things Were: Travels of a Conservationist
UNEP: The First 40 Years
MEMOIR
Stanley I Presume
Stanley I Resume
To my grandchildren
CONTENTS
CAST OF CHARACTERS
AUTHOR'S NOTE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
CHAPTER FORTY
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
CHAPTER FIFTY
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CAST OF CHARACTERS
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Ronald C. Craig: Republican Presidential candidate and later US President
Brandon Matlock: US President (outgoing)
Caroline Mann: Democratic Presidential candidate
Rosie Craig: Ronald Craig’s daughter
Malvina Craig: Ronald Craig’s wife
Dirk Goddard: Attorney General
Bert Rumbold: Ronald Craig’s Campaign Director
Bud Hollingsworth: Director of the CIA
Wilbur Brown: Director of the FBI
John Hulley: CIA boffin
Jo Silcock: Attorney General
General Ian Wright: National Security Adviser
Julius Lomax: Former US Congressman
Sandra Lomax: Wife of of Julius, aide to Caroline Mann
Gina Paulson: Vixen TV
Eric Longhurst: CBS
Bill Whitelaw: Congressman
Larry Kinder: Senator
Pedro Gonzales: Federal Marshal in Florida
Jimmy Redmond: Ditto
Georgiy Reznikov: Russian Ambassador in Washington
Jack Varese: Movie star
Terry Caruthers: Co-pilot of Varese’s plane
RUSSIA
Igor Popov: Russian President
Fyodor Stephanov: FSB St Petersburg
Yuri Yasonov: Chief aide to Russian President
Galina Aslanova: Head of Special Projects, FSB, Moscow
Pavel Golov: Galina’s boss, Director at FSB, Moscow
Lyudmila Markova: FSB, Moscow
Christine Amadore: CNN, Moscow
SWAT team
Ling and Kong: Two Chinese agents in St Petersburg
Sir Andrew Boles: UK Ambassador in Moscow
Martha Goodchild, Boles’s successor as UK Ambassador in Moscow
Jim Connally: Embassy driver in Moscow
Sergei: Driver of car in Siberia
Ivan: Head Ranger in Siberia
Two Russian ladies of the night
GERMANY
Helga Brun: Chancellor
Ursula Hauptman: Chancellor’s main aide
Thomas Hartkopf: State Secretary at German Ministry of the Interior
Dr Otto Friedrich: German Minister of the Interior
CHINA
Liu Wang-Ji: President
Jang Ling-Go: Director of Forestry and Wildlife, Heliongjiang Province
Shao Wei-Lu (female): His Assistant
Zhang Fu-Sheng: Minister of State Security (MSS)
Li Xiao-Tong: MSS Counter-Intelligence
Professor Wong: Archaeologist (in Xian)
Professor Gung Ho-Min: in Khabarovsk Hospital
Wang Tao-Yu: Chinese Premier
Deng Biao-Su: MSS analyst
UNITED KINGDOM
Edward Barnard: MP, Secretary of State for the Environment (DEFRA) and later Chairman of the Leave Campaign, still later Chancellor of the Exchequer
Joyce Griffith: Barnard’s P/A at DEFRA
Jeremy Hartley: MP, Prime Minister at start of book
Mabel Killick: MP, Home Secretary, Prime Minister at end of book
Melissa Barnard: Edward Barnard’s wife
Dame Jane Porter: Head of MI5
Mark Cooper: Head of MI6
James Armitage: Deputy Head of MI6
Shirley Wilson: Head of MI6 China desk
Roger Wales: Head of MI6 Russia Desk
Giles Mortimer: Mrs Killick’s joint-chief aide
Holly Percy: Mrs Killick’s other joint-chief aide
Tom Milbourne: MP, Chancellor of the Exchequer at beginning of book
Sir Oliver Holmes: Metropolitan Police Commissioner
Cornelia Gosford: Deputy Police Commissioner
Harriet Marshall: Director of the Leave Campaign
Christine Meadows: Harriet Marshall’s partner
Harry Stokes: MP, former Mayor of London, later Foreign Secretary
Owen Griffiths: Stokes’ aide
Joshan Gupta: Employee of MI5
Jill Hepworth: Employee of MI6
Lillian Peters: Employee of FCO
Jack Kellaway: MP, former Minister for Social Affairs
David Cole: MP, Justice Minister
Andromeda Ledbury: MP, Leave leader
Eric Forster: MP, Speaker in House of Commons
Miles Pomfrey: MP, leader of the Opposition
Fred Malkin: Conservative Party Chairman
Monica Fall: MP for Blyth
George Wiley: Editor of the Sun newspaper
Louise Hitchcock: BBC journalist/broadcaster
Arthur Pemberton: President of the Oxford Union
L
ord Middelbank of Upper Twaddle, Conservative Grandee
Jerry Goodman: Security aide for Edward Barnard
Mnogo Abewa: MI5 interrogator
Noel Garnett: Veteran BBC journalist
Thomas Pulborough: Conservationist
HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
Simon Henley: Leader of UKIP (United Kingdom Independence Party)
Nancy Ginsberg: BBC political correspondent
Warren Fletcher: US Ambassador in London
Gennadiy Tikhonov: Russian Ambassador in London
Nicolai Nabokov: First Sec at Russian Trade Mission, London
AUSTRALIA
Mickey Selkirk: Head of Selkirk Global media empire
Melanie Selkirk: Selkirk’s wife
Ching Ze-Gong; Mrs Fung: couple who work for Selkirk at Lazy-T ranch
Hu Wong-Fu: Owner of Chinese restaurant in Kununurra
Jim Jackson: Cattleman and helicopter pilot at Lazy-T ranch
Dr Phillips: Doctor at Kununurra Hospital
Professor Cohen: Consultant at the Kununurra Hospital
Professor Irwin Jones: Australian Toxicologist
IRELAND
Fiona Barnard: Daughter of Edward and Melissa Barnard
Michael Kennedy: Fiona’s partner
BRUSSELS/BELGIUM
Mary Burns: O’Rourke’s Chef de Cabinet
Arne Jacobsen: Danish Prime Minister
Eloise Pomade: Senior Official in EU Council Secretariat
Lazlo Ferenczy: Prime Minister of Hungary
Jacques Petit: President of France
Martine Le Grand: French Presidential candidate
Otto von Wiensdorf: German Ambassador to EU in Brussels
Sir Luke Threadgold: UK Permanent Representative to EU
TURKEY
Ahmet Ergun: President
Nuray Ergun: His wife
General Aslan Bolat: Turkish Army
KEY INSTITUTIONS AND AGENCIES
CIA: US Central Intelligence Agency
FBI: US Federal Bureau of Investigation
FCC: Federal Communications Commission
FCO: UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office
FSB: Successor agency to KGB
KGB: Main security agency for Soviet Union from 1954–1991
MI5: UK Counter-intelligence agency
MI6: UK’s Secret Intelligence Service
MSS: China’s Ministry of State Security
KEY ANIMALS
Amur tiger: crosses border into China
Helga: tiger cub presented by President Popov to Berlin Zoo
Jemima: Edward Barnard’s bay mare
Sydney Funnel Web Spider: Atrax Robustus
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Kompromat is, to use an old-fashioned term, An Entertainment.
Although the book borrows from recent events, it is a very loose borrowing, being self-evidently a work of fiction and satire, and not a work of history – an antidote to the maxim that truth is stranger than fiction. Readers of this novel should not conclude in any way that any living person misbehaved in the manner that some of the characters in the book regrettably seem to have done.
CHAPTER ONE
Jack Varese, winner of the most recent Best Actor Oscar, was late. Very late. Sitting in the front row of the celebrity audience in St Petersburg’s famous Mariisnky Theatre, Russia’s long-serving president, Igor Popov, muttered to an aide, ‘Where the devil is he? We’re going to have to start without him.’
Popov glanced across the aisle to where the German chancellor, Helga Brun, stared stony-faced at the empty stage in front of her. Next to her was China’s prime minister, Liu Wang-Ji, and next to him in the VIP line-up came India’s prime minister, Nawab Singh.
President Popov was about to go up onto the stage himself to explain the delay when there was a sudden commotion in the wings.
The loud speakers burst into life. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the guest of honour, Jack Varese, has arrived and will address the gathering.’
‘So sorry,’ the American began. ‘We were delayed by headwinds on the way over from New York so we had to refuel in Helsinki. Guess I should have flown Aeroflot after all! Or else Ron Craig here could have brought me in his Boeing. But, hell, I like to fly my own plane!’
Varese beckoned Ron Craig up onto the stage. ‘This is a man who wants to help save the world’s tigers. So I said to him. “Welcome aboard, Ron. Your help is sorely needed. President Popov needs your help.” So that’s why we’re all here. To support the World Tiger Conservation Action Plan, which President Popov has launched tonight.’
Within a few moments Varese had them eating out of his hand. Popov sat back in his chair and relaxed.
This World Tiger Summit had been very much Popov’s own initiative. A passionate outdoors man, he liked nothing better than to be photographed bare-chested in field and forest, preferably with a hunting rifle in his hand. Of course, there were some animals he didn’t shoot and the fabled Amur tiger was one of them. There were still a good number of these magnificent beasts left in the wild, way out there in the Russian Far East. Some of them indeed were so far to the east that they sometimes crossed the Ussuri River and strayed into Chinese territory. The previous day, in a tête a tête with China’s president, Liu Wang-Ji, Popov had said, ‘You may have killed and skinned all your own tigers, Mr President, but kindly keep your hands off ours!’
When it was Popov’s turn to speak he kept his remarks short.
‘Today, ladies and gentlemen, we are adopting a World Tiger Action Plan. Yes, there are 450 Amur tigers left in Russian Siberia; yes, there are maybe 3,000 tigers in India; yes, there are tigers in Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Myanmar, Bangladesh and so on. But, believe me, those tiger populations will be extinct unless we take action now.’
Later that evening the presidents and prime ministers of the tiger ‘range states’, whom Popov had personally invited to St Petersburg, gathered for dinner in the glittering splendour of the Winter Palace.
Edward Barnard, MP and Secretary of State for the Environment, found himself, by some quirk of protocol, sitting next to Helga Brun, the German chancellor.
Barnard, an outdoor man himself, was full of praise for the way Popov had handled the event. ‘I thought he would just look in and out of the meeting, but he put in three full days. He must really care. And he had some kind words for Europe; he acknowledged the help we have given with his tigers’ cause.’
Helga Brun laughed. ‘Don’t believe everything he says. Our people in Moscow tell me that he’s absolutely furious. He thinks we’ve backed Russia into a corner. From Popov’s point of view, we’ve been running after the Ukraine the way a dog runs after a bitch on heat. We’ve been expanding NATO right up to Russia’s border. We’ve imposed sanctions over Crimea. I admit we have seen one side of President Popov tonight, the rather pleasant side, but I can’t help feeling we are going to see another side very soon. Popov is planning something big. Very big. You mark my words.’
The guests all rose to their feet as President Popov left the splendid dining-hall to the sound of trumpets.
Jack Varese, very much recovered from the long journey and its various mishaps, worked the room glass in hand, moving from table to table like a politician running for office.
It wasn’t long before he took Barnard’s hand and shook it warmly. When Barnard introduced himself, Varese commented: ‘So you’re the leader of the UK delegation. Secretary of State for the Environment. That’s a great handle to have.’
‘We may not have any tigers. But the British government wants to make it clear we fully approve of President Popov’s initiative.’
Varese laughed. ‘Maybe that’ll distract him and he’ll forget about invading the Baltic States.’
Seconds later, President Popov himself stopped at Barnard’s table. He was, Barnard guessed, around five eight in height, a trifle less perhaps. Thinning hair, carefully brushed b
ack to cover a bald spot.
Barnard bowed his head instinctively. This was the Russian head of state. Whatever you might feel about the man, you had to respect the office he held.
A lavishly decorated aide hovered at Popov’s side. The president had obviously been well-briefed.
‘Please thank your government for the support they are giving to the World Tiger Action Plan,’ Popov told Barnard. ‘We very much appreciate it. I hope one day soon to come to London to show my appreciation in person.’
As the presidential party moved on, Barnard muttered to himself, ‘Dream on!’ Reaching for another drink, he found it hard to imagine that Popov would be making a state visit to Britain any time soon. Not in the current climate.
The party began to break up. The limousine was waiting to take him back to his hotel. Sinking back into the plush leather seat of the sleek, black 3-litre BMW that the authorities had made available for the VIP guests, Barnard took his phone from his pocket.
Although some of his fellow Cabinet ministers had joshed that his trip to Russia was a mere jolly, there was after all some important news to convey to the authorities back home. He had absolutely no doubt that, in their separate ways, both the Russian president and the German chancellor had hoped that he, Secretary of State for the Environment, would convey a message to London, and he was delighted to be able to do so.
How things had changed in Russia over the last few years, he thought. In the big cities at least, it was all bling and gizmos. Wi-Fi was everywhere. Even in a moving car twenty miles outside St Petersburg you could pick up a signal, which was more than could be said for some of the outlying areas of London. Edward Barnard began to tap out his message.
Not far away, on the FSB control centre on St Petersburg’s Cherniavski Street, Fyodor Stephanov, a tall, broad-shouldered man with a scar on his right cheek, picked up Barnard’s message almost as soon as it had been sent.
He printed off a flimsy and walked quickly into the next room where his superior took one look at the text.
‘Not even encrypted! Not even the lowest level! What do they take us for?’
He handed the flimsy back to the duty officer. ‘You’d had better get going,’ he said. ‘Pass the word. And make sure the women know what to do.’
Stephanov rubbed his hands and smiled. ‘They know all right.’ In due course, he would be well paid for the video he would offer for sale on the now well-developed market for such material. He always welcomed a little freelance action. He was saving up for that Baltic cruise with his new girlfriend.