He quickly went around, straightening up what he could, so Meg
wouldn’t take one look at her new home and walk out. She might
think the woods would be cleaner.
“Beck?” Cian’s voice was weak and barely carried out of the
bedroom.
“I’m here, Ci.” Beck walked through the door and stared at the
room. It looked like someone had cleaned up in here. There were neat
piles of papers and books stacked around the room. More than likely
it had been Dante. Vampires tended to be a bit fastidious. If his cousin
had spent the night and this morning sitting at Cian’s bedside, he had
probably felt compelled to straighten up a bit.
The room was dim. All the shutters were closed. Beck walked to
the two small windows and tossed them open, letting the afternoon
light in. It illuminated his twin’s self-proclaimed deathbed.
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Cian lay on his side. His hair was lackluster, and he’d lost weight.
In the light of day, his skin looked pasty. Though he probably hadn’t
been out of bed much for the better part of two months, he looked
tired and haggard. Beck tried to summon some sympathy.
“Get out of bed, ya bastard.” Beck kicked the bed. The frame
shook, but Cian stubbornly stayed prone.
“No.” Cian replied with far more bite than a dying man should
have. He pulled the quilt up to his neck and pointedly closed his eyes.
“I’m done, Beck. It ain’t worth it. I can’t think anymore. My mind
won’t work.”
“You think you’re the only one having trouble?” Beck was tired
of listening to his brother’s whining. Sometimes Cian forgot he
wasn’t the only one hurting. “I wanted to kill everything in my path
for a while there. I had to stop myself from going into a rage and
killing innocent people. You just can’t focus.”
Cian’s gray eyes opened suddenly and burned with resentment.
“You can’t understand. I can’t even read a book anymore. My mind
drifts. Sometimes I don’t remember where I am. Do you know what
it’s like to have everything that made you who you are taken away?”
Beck rolled his eyes. “I bloody well do. You’re not the only one
who’s in trouble here.”
Cian shook his head and dramatically turned away. It apparently
took all his energy. “I don’t want to fight anymore. There’s no point
to it. I haven’t the energy. Can’t we just get along? It won’t be long
before I’m gone. I feel it, Beck. I feel death coming for me.”
“You sound like a bad play, Ci,” Beck said with an affectionate
laugh. Cian had always been overly dramatic. Goddess, it would be
good to have his brother back.
A sad sigh came from the figure on the bed. “And you sound like
you couldn’t care less. I suppose I understand. I haven’t been much
use to anyone lately. Well, did you have any luck on your hunting
trip? Did you catch anything?”
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Cian was turned away, and Beck knew he couldn’t see his sly
smile. “I didn’t catch anything to eat, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Beck didn’t mention that he’d actually eaten Meg’s sweet pussy
quite a bit the night before. He didn’t think he’d ever get his fill,
either.
“Oh, well,” came the ho-hum reply. “I wasn’t hungry, anyway.”
“I didn’t really go hunting. I went to market and got us a wife.”
Cian sat straight up in bed.
“Yeah, I thought that might get you moving, you lazy bastard.”
Cian appeared more animated than Beck had seen him in months.
His hand went back to smooth down his hair. “There’s a girl here?”
“Meggie’s a woman,” Beck corrected. “She’s all woman, not a
girl.”
“Meggie.” Cian rolled the name around on his tongue as if he
were tasting it. He seemed to like the flavor. “How did she escape
from Tir na nÒg ? Do you think Torin is hunting her?”
“No, you don’t understand.” Beck put a single hand on his twin’s
shoulder, a silent request to calm down. “She’s not Fae.”
Cian slumped back down. “Oh, I thought you had found us a
brings you some pleasure in our last days.”
“She’s a human from the Earth plane, and she is most definitely a
proper bondmate. She’s also the most beautiful thing in all of the
planes,” Beck said with confidence. “I already bonded with her and
feel spectacular, but if you’re not interested, I’ll keep her for myself.”
Cian was on his feet before Beck could finish. “I need to change
clothes.”
Beck sniffed and shook his head. “You need a bath before I’ll let
you anywhere near my own sweet Meggie.”
Cian’s face turned stubborn. “Our own sweet Meggie.”
“Fine, then.” It was good to see his brother up and about. He
wasn’t worried about sharing Meg with him. He had expected it all of
his life. He’d shared everything with Cian. Now he wanted to share a
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life, a real life, with Cian and Meg. He walked to the dresser and
pulled out a pair of clean clothes and a bar of soap. “But I should
warn you, she slept with me last night. She might not want you.”
Cian huffed. “Well, if she’s only had you for company, she’ll
need a little intelligent conversation. I don’t know if you’ve noticed,
but mostly you just grunt.”
“She doesn’t seem to mind the noises I make, if you know what I
mean.” She didn’t. She seemed to have forgiven him for his brutish
behavior before. She’d been a sweet bundle of soft femininity in his
arms while they traveled home. He’d found the ride a bit rough since
he’d been hard the whole time, but he wouldn’t have changed it. He
liked holding her. After nearly losing her, he found it calmed him to
have her close.
Cian tossed off the pants he’d been wearing. “I can’t believe you
bonded without me.”
It wasn’t what they had planned. It hadn’t been anything close to
the traditional ceremony they would have had—nor had it concluded
in a full bonding. The guilt of that weighed heavily on him, but he
hadn’t been able to open himself fully to her. She wouldn’t have been
able to handle some of the things he’d done. “You would have done
the same, little brother. Trust me. Once you’ve seen her, you’ll
understand.”
Holding the items in one hand, Cian walked through the bedroom
to the back door of the cottage. He looked back at his brother. There
was the slightest hint of uncertainty in his eyes. “She’s a proper
bondmate, then?”
Beck cocked an eyebrow questioningly. “The bond works. I
know. It will work with you, too.”
“That’s not what I meant, brother,” Cian said. “I was asking if
she’s like the other bondmates. Is she anything like Maris?”
Beck remembered well how Cian felt about their intended. He
could barely stand the sight of her. She had made her preferences
clear. She wanted to be queen. She would have preferred to only be
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married to the warrior half of the King. “Not in the way you mean.
Meg is sweet, and she’s got quite the mouth on her. She wasn’t raised
to be a high-born lady, but she deserves no less respect. She’s a little
scared, too.”
Cian’s spine straightened. “We’ll make sure she’s got nothing to
be afraid of, then.”
“Go, make yourself presentable for our little wife. I’ll find us
something for dinner.” Beck was grinning as he changed the sheets on
the bed and straightened up the room. Out of the back window, he
could see Cian hurrying down the path to the pond. It had been a long,
long while since he’d seen his brother move so quickly.
As happy as he was, getting married also brought about a range of
problems for Beck. He was going to have to figure out a way to bring
in some steady income because he didn’t want Meg to feel she had to
keep the house. She was a bondmate, not a housewife. He made up
his mind to talk to Dante. Susan Dellacourt had told him she was
always interested in his services. The vampire companies had long-
reaching arms and always had some strange security problem
clogging up the roads of trade. He might be able to make decent
money that way.
In the back of his mind, he knew once word got out that he and
Cian had bonded, the loyalists would come calling. They would offer
him a lot to lead the attempt to reclaim Tir na nÒg . Beck was sure
they would come, and the pressure would be on. He would have a
decision to make, and now it didn’t seem like a clear one.
Once he would have done anything to get the chance to avenge his
father. Was he willing to risk Meg? For the first time since he was
seventeen, it seemed to Beck that he might have a future. It would be
a very different one than he was raised for, but it was his. He could
have a good life with Meg and Cian, and eventually their children. All
of that could be lost if he gambled on taking back his crown.
Beck shook off the dark thoughts. That was a worry for another
day. Today he needed to feed them, and that was all that mattered. He
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hoped Cian hadn’t managed to kill all their chickens while he was
busy fading. Beck walked out the back and down to the chicken coop
where he selected a particularly healthy hen and proceeded to
efficiently chop her head off.
The hen was fat and would make a good meal. The day might
have started rough, but if it ended with a full belly and a warm bed,
Beck would call it perfect.
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Chapter Nine
The cold water shook the cobwebs out of Cian Finn’s mind with a
teeth-jarring shock. He took a deep breath and forced himself to go
under. The chill prickled along his skin. He needed to try to think
clearly.
It had been almost impossible lately. The thoughts in his head
would come and go like butterflies flitting in and out. He couldn’t
catch them and keep them. They were too fast. A thought would
come, and Cian would get excited. He would start to follow through
on it, and then he would be standing somewhere wondering exactly
how he had gotten there. Cian didn’t like to talk about his problems
with his brother. Beck had his own problems. He didn’t need to worry
about his little brother’s failing brain, but it was becoming something
he couldn’t hide. Even if he tried to hide it, he would have forgotten
what he was trying to do. It was easier when Beck was around to
ground him. When his brother was in close proximity, Cian was able
to focus for longer periods of time.
Cian broke the surface of the water. There was a momentary
terror. It came with the revelation that he didn’t know where he was.
Cian took a deep breath and banished the fear. It wouldn’t do any
good. It would just make him look like a fool, and then his father
would be angry with him.
He seemed to be swimming.
No. He was bathing, and his father was dead. His father had been
gone a very long time. Uncle Torin had killed him and taken their
throne. He and Beck were outcasts. Yes, he remembered that part. He
wasn’t a child anymore. He was a man. He had to act like one.
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Cian looked down at the soap in his hand and decided that as long
as he was here, he would clean up. He felt grungy. He remembered he
had taken to his bed. It had seemed like a smart thing to do. The big
bed was a familiar place. He always knew where he was. Even if he
got lost in memory, the bed was safe. There was always a voice
whispering to him that the bed was a nice place to be. It was better
than eating or being up and about. He could just sort of drift away.
Cian managed to soap his hair before his mind shifted again, and
he forgot what he was supposed to do. By then his body had become
used to the chill of the pond. It was a simple thing to float on his back
and gaze up at the sky.
The sky above him was a vibrant blue. The puffy white clouds
took on various shapes and forms. Some of the damn things reminded
him of mathematical equations. The shapes could be described
mathematically. He had always wanted to study math. His father had
promised him when he turned nineteen that he could go to live with
his aunt for a while on the Vampire plane. Beck was going to learn
their fighting techniques and make political contacts. Cian was going
to the university. He was going to study. It would be marvelous. He
couldn’t wait to meet other students and talk to professors. He wasn’t
going to the same school as his cousin, but they would be close. He
would be surrounded by books.
And he could get away from the stuffy old court. Someone was
always watching him, waiting for him to screw up and break the rules.
He didn’t always follow protocols or behave in a matter befitting a
prince of the realm. His father would sit him down and tell him how
much he was embarrassing his brother and his fiancée.
But Cian would be free on the Vampire plane. He could meet
some girls who didn’t look at him like he was a fool. They wouldn’t
compare him to his big brother and find him lacking. What was his
father thinking? Maris was a righteous bitch who had an enormous
stick up her ass. How was he ever going to work up the will to fuck
her? He didn’t think Beck wanted to fuck her, either. They were
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always so polite to each other. There wasn’t an ounce of passion
between them. Shouldn’t he want to fuck the woman he was going to
be forced to spend the rest of his life with?
“Beckett Finn,” a feminine voice called out. “What are you doing?
Get out of there. You must be freezing.”
Cian twisted his body and let his feet find the bottom of the pond.
He saw a blonde female gracefully rushing towards him. She was tall
and lithe, with st
raight golden hair that hung down her back. Her
skirts floated around her long legs, showing just the faintest hint of a
nicely turned ankle. Her face was completely perfect. She had a pouty
mouth and sky blue eyes. She looked every inch the perfect Seelie
lady.
Cian didn’t want to fuck her either, but he suddenly remembered
that Beck did and had, and probably would again.
“Liadan.” Cian was happy that he remembered her name. He
concentrated and pulled the relevant information out of his brain.
Liadan O’Neill was a young widow. She had fled Tir na nÒg
before the plane had been closed. Her husband had died a few years
back in a hunting accident. Beck had been visiting her for roughly a
year now. He had hoped Cian and Liadan would get along. Beck liked
to share women with Cian, but Cian couldn’t stand the sight of her.
She was cold. He had no idea why Beck couldn’t see how calculating
she was.
Her lovely face fell. There was a wealth of disgusted
disappointment in her voice, and Cian remembered she didn’t like
him, either. They had a mutual disapproval society going. “Cian,
where’s Beckett? I heard from the trolls that he was back from his
hunting trip. They saw him riding in from the forest.”
She had placed her hands on her hips, all attempts at ladylike
perfection gone. She wouldn’t waste the effort on him. Cian laughed
at that thought. He sobered slightly. She’d said trolls with great
distaste. She was a sidhe who thought all other Fae creatures were
beneath her.
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“I don’t know.” Cian was able to answer with complete
truthfulness. For once, his blank mind was a blessing. It did give him
a good reason to be down here, though. Beck had been gone and then
returned. Big brother had likely taken one look at him and ordered
him to bathe. It explained everything.
“Well, ain’t that surprising?” Liadan mocked. Her perfect features
made for a perfect sneer. “You are completely good for nothing. I
don’t know how your brother puts up with you.”
“And I don’t see how he can stand to touch you long enough to
get off,” Cian shot back as he walked toward the edge of the pond, his