bodies tumbling and weightless,
with only each other’s form to guide our way
through the dark
We are alone here, in this place
Just the two of us,
the moon and the stars
I would love to spend eternity
exploring the depths with you
just the two of us
and millions of miles
of places to go
A Reception Beneath the Stars
We were out on this big boat somewhere
and it was the middle of the night
I saw us dressed up
in our nicest clothes
in clothes far better
than anything either of us
has ever owned
And there was the smoothest
sultry jazz band playing
music straight from their soul
We held each other close
our other hands wrapped around
flutes of bubbly champagne
sweet notes tickling our noses
We danced with such reckless joy
and wore smiles that
overlooked our fancy clothes
I stared at you and wondered
if I was dreaming
and you kissed me
awake
Whenever I wake up
next to you
it feels like
coming home
Your hands are cozy autumn evenings
sitting fireside in sweaters
while the leaves fall outside
Your kisses are early spring dewdrops
from last night’s gentle rain
blossoming beauties from deep within
Your heartbeat is a warm summer day
wild and full of a youthful energy
to soak our basking bodies beneath the sun
Your eyes are merry winter songs
singing wordless over the chill
of the promise of the long winter night
I won’t always have the words
to pull you back from the dark
but I will always be here
to sit with you in it
and take your hand
or wrap my arms around you
until it passes
for every day of sunshine
there will be a night of darkness
but I want to spend both of them
with you
I will be careful with you
but I promise to be reckless too
I will be thoughtful in words
but also passionate in action
I will know when to follow
but lead when you don’t know the way
I will hold you close
but if you ever tell me to leave,
I’m sorry but it’s something
I’ll never do
Storm Shelter
There will be long gloomy days
full with storm clouds and claps of thunder
the wind will howl and
the dogs will whimper
lightning will tear apart the sky
but we will be safe
with each other
and we will know
every storm will pass
We hid out in old abandoned houses
protected by crumbling fences
We went wherever they weren’t –
wherever we could be together
We stayed a night in a castle
a day in a haunted house
and a few dozen
huddled up together
surrounding ourselves
with blankets and cardboard
Oh, but we were so happy
and I wouldn’t take back
a single day
Things I’m grateful for:
• My life and health
• The family I have – including the friends
• Great food and refreshing drinks
• Sunsets and sunrises
• The stars and the moon
• The sea and the wild
• Soft blankets and softer cuddles
• Good books
• You
I never knew I liked grocery shopping
until I pushed the cart around with you
I never knew I liked mornings
until we shared some tea and smiles
I never knew I liked cooking
until we made it more than just a meal
I never knew I liked hosting
until I saw how we work as a team
I never knew I liked reading with someone
until we burned through some books
together
I never know what I’ll discover next
with you
but I can’t wait to find out
One of our favorite things to do together
is walk the streets
and point out the houses we pass
to talk about the wonder
of what living there would be like
How old do you think that house is?
That place has nice bones, but it’s
definitely a fixer-upper
Those stairs are fine now
but when we’re old –
That arch over the front door
The color of the roof
The garden you could plant
I love the cut of that fencing
Someday, my love
we will have a place of our own
Whatever happens
I know it will always be like this
the same page that we are on
the healthy way we communicate
the flow and vibe that we bring
the groove that we cook with or clean
the way that we share everything
with each other
even the hard stuff
but especially the love –
the love we have for things
for people
for each other
whatever happens
I know
it will always be like this
I will always remember our first house
our upside-down doorknob
our hall lights that never worked
our unfixable faucet
our warm refrigerator
our windy recycling days
our power outages
our first carpet and couch
our brisk morning walks around the block
our cozy movie nights
our paintings on the walls
our game nights we’d host
our delicious home-cooked meals
our lazy days in bed
our little needy dog
Wherever we go from here
I will take this place with me
We’ll paint the world across the walls
and we’ll start here
where we grew up
We’ll stretch our arms out wide
mark every place we want to drive
we’ll push pins in the places
and take a drive together
to replace some of those pins
with memories
We’ll name the places far away from us –
the places we’ve only ever dreamed of
and someday we’ll save up the money
and cross the oceans instead
to press our fingers against
this soil in distant lands
instead of the images in our minds
We’ll go there – wherever we can
we have our whole lives to get there
together
I look forward to a few things
the notes you leave in my lunchbox
the way you flick the porch light
on and off
as I back out the driveway
the “I love you” text you send me
as I drive away
the soft snores you sing
while I read you to sleep
the way you fall into my arms
when I return home to you
in the morning
the steaming cups of coffee we sip
as we meet at this place in between –
me about to fall sleep
and you, just barely waking up
the days we count down together
to the weekend ahead
when our worlds align once more
these passing moments
are all that get me through
I remember the feeling of
your lips on my cheek
our feet against the warm beach
the waves lapping at our ankles
your heart beating soft and tranquil
the wind through my hair
darling, take me back there
Meals
There will be breakfasts in bed
I’ll put the coffee on and give you just a
splash of
cream – until your coffee looks
caramel
there will be nice dinners
we’ll get dressed up real nice and go out
somewhere that costs more than it should
but we’ll go there like we belong –
we’ll know what we deserve
there will be takeout nights
you’ll get the silverware and the plates
set up on the coffee table while I take
our order from the delivery driver
there will be picnics in the grass
we’ll lay out a blanket and snack
on the fruits of our labor –
holding each other close and just
being there in that moment together
there will be all kinds of meals
and they will all be a part of us –
an important part
that we’ll always share together
On days when work is too stressful,
when my self-discipline is nonexistent,
when I’m too tired to even feel human,
you smile, you make me laugh a little,
you help me keep perspective.
When I feel anxious and depressed,
unsuccessful and like a big lazy blob,
you motivate me, you encourage me,
you make feel capable, strong, and
altogether lovely.
I know these bad days will never go away.
Being with the love of my life doesn’t
mean a happily-ever-after every day.
But it does mean the bad days aren’t
as frequent.
It does mean I feel stronger to fight
for my happiness.
It means you make me love myself
a little bit more.
A Letter to Future Us
We want you both to keep looking forward
to the days to come – to the days
and nights you’ll spend together
We want you to experience new things
every year until your last
We want you to keep your hearts open
to each other – to keep sharing the things
you love, to share new things you discover
We want you to share things with each other
that are sometimes hard to talk about
We want you to look at us here and know
we’re happy – and we hope you never
lost this
We hope you still look at each other
with those alluring eyes –
with tender searching hands
and forgiving lips
and kind, listening ears
We hope the distance between us here
and you there
is long and full of adventure
We want you both to be happy
with who you have become
and the marks you’ve left on hearts –
and we hope they are tender impressions
rather than scars
We want you to know it is okay
that you’ve made mistakes
because we know you both have
We want you to know you did enough
and you are enough
and we are proud –
don’t look back at this time
or the time between then and now
with regret
We want you to remember
it is never too late to change –
not even now
We love you both
and we love that you found each other
that you found someone to show you
everything you deserve
You are the sun in the day
and the moon in the night
You brighten my life
and if I ever forget
I just have to look up at the sky
and know that there’s a you
who loves me
You are the moon
always shining
always there for me
even when I can’t see you
You rise at night
and gently kiss the world
And even the dark sides of you
Sometimes I am scared
because I don’t know what comes next
a ring
a question
a house
a couple kids
Where do we go?
Does this fun just disappear –
this me and this you?
these people we are now will be no more
I see ourselves shrinking and scrambling
out the door
how do we still be ourselves?
how do we hold on to everything we are?
Whenever the time comes
if ever the time comes
I hope I can be a good father
I am so scared of messing it up
of making someone like me
I will read our kid to sleep
and let them leave the light on
if they need it
I will let them be whomever
they want to be
I hope they don’t feel the pressure
but I hope they’re better than me
I hope they know no matter what they do
I will be proud of them
I used to not want to be a mother
and that’s something
you just don’t tell people
Now I can see how that life could be
and I’m starting to want it for myself
I want to give that kind of love
to someone else –
I have so much of it to spare
Maybe it never felt right before
but with you now
it does
It is fu
n to pick out names
to imagine what little quirks
or facial features
or skills they will pick up from us
to wonder who they will become
and how we will raise them
or the ways we will love them
it is fun to wonder
to think of what could be
if we decide we want to maybe
expand our little family
When the old bones break
when the hair falls from my head
when the body grows frail
and fades to dust,
my love will remain
I remember when
you said,
“Promise me,
if we become more than this,
we won’t lose this.
I don’t ever want to lose
our friendship
even if we’re more than friends.”
And I know some days
move faster than others
and that was so many days ago
but you’re still
my best friend
and I never want that to change either
You still make me feel invincible
you still help me find the stars in the dark
and the moon in the day
you still make me smile and laugh
and remind me that everything
will be okay
you still help me find the words
when I can’t find my voice
you still speak up for me
when I feel like I don’t have a choice
you still make me want to be better
but you also still remind me
that I’ll always be enough
When I grow old,
I will find a new way
each day
to tell you why I love you
When I grow old,
I will still laugh at your dumb jokes
When I grow old,
I will still take your hand when
you’re staring off
When I grow old,
I will still take out the trash
and wash the dishes
When I grow old,
I will still read you to sleep
When I grow old,
I will still look at you with wonder
at how I ever tricked you to be mine
I don’t know quite
how many days, or months, or years