Jocelyn:
☺Go ahead and ask.
Malachi:
Do you remember when
you asked me if I’d ever
wanted to do anything
besides ranching?
Had my wavelengths hitched a ride into the atmosphere and traveled to him, because hadn’t I just been thinking about that exact same conversation? Weird.
Malachi:
Anyway, I then asked you
if you’d always wanted to
work in finance but I don’t
recall you answering.
…
I’m doing a poor job of it,
but I’m asking you about
your dreams.
In life.
I thumbed through the next few pages of my childhood sketchbook. When had I stopped drawing? Stopped creating designs? Stopped dreaming?
Oh, yeah. Probably about the time I’d decided using numbers the way Scarlett O’Hara used men was a good idea. And like her, I’d lost sight of some really important things in life.
Jocelyn:
Did I ever tell you how
Molly, Amanda, Nicole, and
Betsy and I became friends?
Malachi:
No.
Jocelyn:
Well, “became” isn’t really
the right word.
Malachi:
I’m listening.
And I was bumbling this up like a reject juggling act. On impulse, I tapped the contact name at the top of the screen and then the phone audio icon. Malachi picked up after the first ring.
“Hi.” He sounded a little surprised and hesitant but also happy.
“I hope this is all right. Calling, I mean.” My fingers twisted into the seams of my pajama pants as my stomach did a little somersault.
“More than all right. It’s really good to hear your voice.” His dipped at the end, and I imagined how his ears must be reddening in that adorable way they did.
My cheeks warmed. “Yours too.” Since when did I get shy? I cleared my throat. “Anyway. Molly, Amanda, Nicole, and Betsy. Molly’s really the one who started collecting us, but I gave our little band of sisters a sort of purpose.”
“Oh?”
“We’re a sewing group. Kind of. Three-fifths of us sew, anyway, and the other two are there as minion support with the cutting and removal of bad stitches, and snack preparations.”
The sound of running water filled the background. “Good thing Gran hadn’t known.”
“Why’s that?”
“She loves to sew. Used to make a lot of our clothes growing up. She still makes things for Christmas presents and such, but says it’s cheaper to buy stuff at the store nowadays.”
“She’s not wrong.”
The squeak of spigot being turned. “That’s your dream then? Sewing?”
I turned the next page of the sketchbook. “Not exactly.” A bride in an art deco-style wedding gown, form fitting with beaded sequins in bold geometric patterns cascading down the length of imperial crepe smiled back at me. “I used to want to be a fashion designer.”
It took him a moment to respond. “Why didn’t you become one?”
“The starving part of starving artist kind of makes a person pause.” I sighed. “Growing up, the free lunch program at the school’s cafeteria were our best meals. My ambitions changed over the years from head in the clouds to food in the stomach.”
A long silence filled the line. I checked to make sure we hadn’t gotten disconnected, but the clock still ticked, recording how long we’d been speaking.
Static rasped in my ear like he’d moved the mouthpiece against another object. “Sorry. I know this is where I’m supposed to say something inspiring or commiserative or, you know, anything would probably be good, but… I don’t know what I should say. I…I wish I had the right words for you just now.”
“It’s okay.” I honestly wasn’t sure what I wanted to hear anyway. That I’d been smart to choose something tangible instead of living in a world of abstracts where the probability of success was almost nonexistent? Because that’s what I’d been telling myself for years.
But why did the smart thing all of a sudden feel like the cowardly thing?
I closed the sketchbook. “I should probably get breakfast started, and I know you have a busy day ahead of you, too.”
“Okay. I’ll let you go, just…”
“Yeah?”
“Just don’t give up on your dreams all together, okay? That’s…that’s all I wanted to say.”
22
Malachi
5:59 pm
Jocelyn:
Ok. I have another question.
Malachi:
So, we’re doing that then?
Jocelyn:
Haha. I guess so.
Malachi:
Sounds good.
What’s your question?
Jocelyn:
Why don’t you have
chickens on the ranch?
Malachi:
Out of everything, that’s
what you want to know?
Jocelyn:
I thought every farm
had chickens!
Malachi:
Like a country-life starter kit?
Jocelyn:
Something like that, yeah.
Malachi:
Chickens serve their
purpose, but they’re more
trouble and work than they’re
worth at the Double B.
Jocelyn:
Oh.
Malachi:
I guess it’s my turn now?
Jocelyn:
<smiley face emoji>
Malachi:
…
What do you like to do
in your free time?
Jocelyn:
Did you just look up a list
of first date type questions
and pick one?
Malachi:
That depends.
Jocelyn:
On?
Malachi:
If you think my lack of
conversation skills is
sad or if you find my
resourcefulness endearing.
Jocelyn:
I’m going to have to go
with endearing for four
hundred, Alex.
Malachi:
Then I freely admit to
seeking “professional” help.
Jocelyn:
You’re adorable.
Malachi:
I’m going to ignore the
fact you used an
adjective that better
describes baby bunnies
than a grown man.
Jocelyn:
I’m rolling my eyes at you.
Malachi:
And I can live with that.
Jocelyn:
I’ve already answered
this particular question
though. My main hobby is
sewing, although I like taking
walks on the beach as well.
Malachi:
I don’t get out to the
coast very often.
Jocelyn:
I imagine the ranch can
be pretty all consuming.
Malachi:
It’s more than just a job.
It’s a lifestyle. Vacations are
rare as I have to make sure
someone is at least available
to feed the animals twice
a day. When Nate is
around, it’s easier to
share the
workload, but I’d never leave Gran
or Miriam to shoulder
all the responsibilities.
Jocelyn:
You’re a good man, Malachi.
Malachi:
Good is better than adorable
but you better be careful,
Miss Dormus. With all
this flattery I might start
to get an ego the size of Nate’s.
Jocelyn:
Not possible. You’re much
too humble for that.
Malachi:
Are you trying to make me blush?
Jocelyn?
You? Blush? Never!
Malachi:
Ha!
Jocelyn:
Ok. My turn. But you have
to promise to be honest.
Malachi:
Why wouldn’t I be?
Jocelyn:
Big, strong guys aren’t
known for being vulnerable.
Malachi:
These adjectives are definitely
getting better. I approve of
both big and strong.
Jocelyn:
I’m sure you do, but can
you be big, strong, and
vulnerable?
Malachi:
For you, I’ll do my best.
Jocelyn:
When I first came to the ranch,
I thought maybe you
were avoiding me.
And when we were together,
you seemed fidgety and
nervous. Do I make you
uncomfortable?
Malachi:
Really are cutting out
all the fat, aren’t you?
Well, as you probably figured
out, I’m not exactly the best
with people. I tend to say the
wrong things at the wrong
time or not say anything when
I should. Now, don’t take this
the wrong way but, yes, you put
me especially out of sorts.
Jocelyn:
Not sure how to take that
in the right way. Also didn’t
realize I was so scary.
Malachi:
You’re terrifying, woman!
At least to me.
Jocelyn:
Really?
Malachi:
Your beauty alone flusters
me. Just being in your
presence was enough to make
my throat close up and my
tongue forget to work
altogether. Add to that
the mystery of how easily you
fit in at the ranch, like you’d always
been there and always would
be and, well, I became
a complete clot.
Jocelyn:
Now I’m blushing.
But you should give yourself
more credit. You weren’t that bad.
Malachi:
I wasn’t that good, either.
Jocelyn:
Do you think, when we see
each other again, that you’ll feel
more comfortable with me or
do you think you’ll get tongue
tied again?
Malachi:
I’ll probably always have
difficulty expressing
myself, and the way you
make my pulse gallop
and my blood run hot, I’m not
exactly sure how I’ll think
straight. But I’m willing to spend
as much time as it takes to find
myself completely at ease in
your presence. If that means
we have to get real close and spend
hours upon hours together,
then I’m prepared to make
that sacrifice.
Jocelyn:
Are you sure Nate hasn’t
commandeered your phone?
Malachi:
I’m nearly burning up from
embarrassment, but I assure
you that it’s me. I’m just trying
to make my position clear.
I’ve sent something to show
you—actions being easier than
words for me—but if you need a
verbal declaration to make things
crystal then I’ll come out and say it.
I like you an awful lot, Jocelyn.
6:48 pm
Jocelyn:
Oh, my goodness. I just got
a package delivered
to my house. A sketchbook,
drawing pencils, charcoal
pencils, colored pencils,
variety of erasers, blending
stump, watercolors, and
brushes.
Malachi:
Did I forget anything?
Jocelyn:
This is the nicest thing
anyone has ever done for me.
Thank you so much, Malachi.
Malachi:
It was nothing, but
you’re welcome.
Jocelyn:
And, if you haven’t guessed,
I like you an awful lot, too.
Malachi:
Well, now. That’s the best
thing I’ve heard all day.
7:03am
Jocelyn:
Quote of the day on the
calendar at work: Never. Give up.
Malachi:
Umm…is that a typo?
Joceyln:
No! That’s what it says!
Malachi:
Did someone take a
Sharpie and mark in
the first period?
Jocelyn:
You’d think, but that
wouldn’t explain the capital G.
They printed it like that.
On purpose.
Malachi:
I feel so inspired.
2:16pm
Malachi:
How old were you when
you went on your first date?
Jocelyn:
This doesn’t sound like a
Malachi:
It isn’t.
Jocelyn:
Then…oh.
Malachi:
She’s too young, right?
Jocelyn:
Ummm.
Malachi:
I think my shotgun needs
a good cleaning right about now.
Jocelyn:
Really? You’re going
to go cliché?
Malachi:
If it terrifies the tar out
of the kid so he makes certain he
keeps his hands to himself
then you better believe it.
Jocelyn:
You’re overreacting.
Malachi:
I’ve been inside the head of
a teenage boy. There’s no such
thing as overreacting. Not
when it comes to my sister.
Jocelyn:
But you haven’t been inside
Miriam’s head.
Malachi:
What does that mean?
Jocelyn:
That she’s a good girl and
you can trust her.
Malachi:
It’s not her I don’t trust.
Jocelyn:
If you sit on the porch with
a gun, that’s not what she’s
going to think.
Malachi:
So I do nothing? I can’t
intimidate him?
Even a little?
Jocelyn:
Maybe a little, but no
lethal weapons.
Malachi:
Fine.
9:25am
Malachi:
Your dog just got himself
sprayed by a skunk.
Jocelyn:
My dog?
Malachi:
Yes, yours. Don’t pretend
you didn’t steal Scout
while you were here.
Jocelyn:
I didn’t!
Malachi:
That’s what all the thieves say.
11:22am
Jocelyn:
Tonya quit.
Malachi:
&nbs
p; Really? Did she say why?
Jocelyn:
Apparently she’s been
scouting positions at competing
firms for a while and someone
finally made her an offer.
Malachi:
You two didn’t seem
particularly close though.
Jocelyn:
We weren’t, but she was
the only other woman at
this level.
Malachi:
Maybe they’ll hire another
female to fill her position.
Jocelyn:
Nope. They already hired
someone. Guess who.
Malachi:
Who?
Jocelyn:
Henry’s cousin.
Malachi:
No way.
Jocelyn:
Yep.
10:02pm
Malachi:
I miss you.
Jocelyn:
I miss you, too.
23
Jocelyn
“You’re getting as bad as Amanda,” Nicole accused as she lifted another folded length of material from a reusable shopping bag.
Amanda looked up from her phone. “The difference is, I’m working. I doubt Jocelyn can claim the same.”